Meano Keano has a Beano

Like the rest of us, he can't remember the last time Ipswich won two games in a row, but some things Roy Keane never forgets.

In Roy's mansion, FAI stands for 'Feckin' Arrogant Ingrates'.

Marvelouse

The Invisible Man trusses up Maradona like a stuck pig.

Forty million Argentinians couldn't give a toss sign an online petition urging the Invisible Man not to untie Maradona until the end of the World Cup qualifying matches.

More wonderful World Cup pics here.

Confused

McFadden, you're an enigma. You should be playing for a top four team. Not for the diddies at St Andrews. I can't help feeling that Moyes did to you what Strachan did to Riordan.

Explanation for the post? I guess the goal is the obvious link, but there were four or five pieces of magic from McFadden in the game against Macedonia. Maybe he's best off back at Fir Park? I'll never understand football.

Misplaced Pronouncements (Part 36)

A fool has one of those 'D'oh moments':

The setting is a Brooklyn apartment on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

Kara - [Reading BBC Sports News.] US have just scored. They're winning one to zero.

Me - I honestly can't be bothered going next door to watch it. It's a Mickey Mouse game. People are only interested in the tournament 'cos there's no other football on the tv at the moment.

Shit-kitters

God, was the new England jersey designed by a Scotsman?

Coming to a high street near you as worn by an 18 stone Grimsby Town fan, who will insist on tucking the shirt into his jeans. I just hope there's a washing powder out there that's powerful enough to get the pissy lager and gravy stains out.

PS - Scotland to get gubbed 4-1 by the Dutch.

How many will Zaki score this week?

Glad that that daftness is out the way for another month. I don't care what anybody says: Internationals get in the way of proper football. The actual final tournaments are great, and all that (what else are you going to do in the summer months when the proper football isn't on?) but the qualifying rounds are just a pain in the arse.

Couple of thoughts from last night's games:

Ashley Cole, Lampard and Terry are on the pitch and the only Chelsea player to get an elbow in the face is Joe Cole? Croatia deserved to lose for that alone.

It pains me to write it but that swine, Kirk Broadfoot, was first class against Celtic the other week so I won't begrudge him his goal against Iceland. Nice to see that ex-XTC front man, Barry Robson, was also on the score sheet last night. I hope that means he starts the next game for Celtic. The bloke lifted the Celtic team immeasurably when he came on against Rangers the other week. (See, Reidski, I can now get past the pain and mention that 4-2 defeat.)

Result of last night by far. It's always heartening when the minnow tax haven for the parasitic rich gets one over on the big daddy tax haven of the same parasitic rich bastards.

Footballer feels sorry for himself shocker. The nation collectively replies 'Lee who?'

What was so great about England's stunning victory in Zagreb last night was that so few English supporters actually saw it. More people watched a repeat of The Brittas Empire over on UK Gold last night.

Since when did Lithuania get so good? I'm away down the bookies to put a tenner on Hearts of Midlothian winning the 2010 World Cup.

That's Just Cruel. Leave Them Alone.