Cometh the hour, cometh the high bee?

I've no need to hastily construct a Temporary Autonomous Hibernian fan zone; I'll always have the highest regard for Derek Riordan. Even if it is the case that I can never pronounce his name properly.

'Tonight, Matthew, I will be diving that way'.

Is it too much to hope that Riordan does the business tonight?

It's all well and good(ish) winning dodgy penalties against the jam tarts, and then winding up the home support after cooly slotting home said pen but think of the pleasure of sticking it to both R*ngers and Gordon Strachan in the space of one match?

As Hibs are 0/3 against R*ngers this season, this is written more in hope than judgement but if Hibs don't get a result tonight - and by result, I mean three points - I can't see Celtic winning a fourth consecutive title.

Actually, what am I thinking? Riordan will probably get the winner against R*ngers tonight and then score two against Celtic on Sunday. It's probably what Celtic deserve this year.

This stream of rambling consciousness has been brought to you via 10 chewed down fingernails and a seen better days Brooklyn sofa.

Amber means pause for 'Gers celebrations

Just woke up, and my mind's too cloudy to properly focus. Just a marker to say that had the caffeine had time to kick in, I would have rejigged and recycled this old post.

Come on the 'Well!

PS - possibly the worst post title I have ever come up with.

Temporary Autonomous FC Zenit Saint Petersburg Fan Zone?

As the Motherwell TAZ post falls off the bottom of the page, I prompted to ask myself if I can bring myself to try this TAZ lark again with tonight's game?

On the previous two occasions I've tried it, I've come unstuck. Does that qualify as blogging hubris or just bastard bad luck? And tonight's final is a bit of a special case in that it is Gazprom poster boys versus R*ngers. A case of the unacceptable face of capitalism versus the unacceptable face of Glasgow's south side.

Bottom line to ask myself is what's the best result tonight for Celtic's outside chance of retaining the SPL title? I can think of three possible scenarios:

Option A R*ngers winning tonight's final, and in their best fashion being consumed by their very own hubris which will result in them coming unstuck against Motherwell and St Mirren in the league.

Option B Zenit Saint Petersburg do what they did against Leverkusen and Munich in the previous rounds in tonight's final, and a crestfallen R*ngers trudge back north only to come unstuck against Motherwell, St Mirren, Aberdeen and Queen of the South in the coming weeks.

Option C A meteorite hits the middle of the pitch at the City of Manchester Stadium, and Barry Ferguson, David Weir and Nacho Novo fall into the resultant crater. Ferguson is out for the rest of the season with cruciate ligament damage after his knee smashes into Novo's new gnashers. Weir, conscious of the fact that he isn't getting any younger, decides that this is as good a burial plot as any and refuses to leave the crater. He asks that wreaths be sent to Little's Funeral Service Home on the Paisley Road West Road.

The referee decides that his only option is to postpone the game. This despite Walter Smith's protestation that his R*ngers team has never used the middle of any pitch and why should they start now? The new crop of injuries coupled with R*ngers adding to their current backlog of fixtures forces Walter Smith's hand and he has to give Thomas Buffel a game in the season run-in. Rangers come unstuck against Motherwell, St Mirren, Aberdeen and Queen of the South . . . and barn doors the length and breadth of Scotland release a collective sigh of relief.

If it's about Celtic doing the impossible, and snatching championship victory from the jaws of Ibroxian mediocrity, I'll have to go with option a as the best possible scenario.

The blog's hexed ye.

Temporary Autonomous Motherwell Fan Zone

I've been here before and it didn't work then, but one can blog and dream about these things.

Though they weren't out to do us any favours, it was a bit of a result Sunday when the High Bees took two points off of R*ngers. I still refuse to go Bhoy Doolally like Reidski ('cos, apart from anything else, I know Celtic are just as liable to phuk things up at their end), but the fact that Celtic are still in with a shout at this late stage of the season is one of life's more pleasant surprises.

Oh, for Motherwell to have this bloke in their starting line up. I'd even wear that T Shirt walking down madison if 'Well were to do a Hibs tonight.

One burning question about all things Motherwell, though? Did any decent bands ever come out of that fair town?

Temporary Autonomous Fiorentina Fan Zone

I've got a bad feeling about this. I'd resigned myself to the fact that R*ngers would probably win the domestic treble this year, but winning the UEFA Cup as well? That's just taking the piss.

Fiorentina, it's up to you. I'm not asking much. Just a for a last minute equaliser by Viera at Ibrox, and for Mutu to score three or four in the return leg (on May Day, no less) at the Stadio Artemio Franchi.

Always had a soft spot for 'La viola', anyway. No, sorry that should have read: I've always had a sweet tooth for parma violets.