Happy New Year . . .

. . . . to my three remaining readers. You know who you are:

2013 will mean more Simenon, more obscure Swedish films and a mite more politics.

Those 2012 New Year Resolutions In Full

Drink more water.

Finish that Eggers book.

Those 2006 New Year Resolutions In Full

- Exercise more. Walking to the local Pizzeria doesn't actually suffice as a fitness regime.

- Read more fiction (recommendations please), rather than studying my sitemeter. (Which is in many ways a fiction of sorts.)

- Not be so cynical when watching Oprah with Kara.

- Learn how to make Cornish Pasties. I miss them, and the Cornish Pasty Industry misses me. Profits were down 17% this last financial year as a consequence of my moving to America, and I understand that my name is mud in certain rural parts of the West Country.

- Trying not to laugh out loud when spotting hipsters in New York. Of course, leg warmers are coming back in fashion.

Get excited about important stuff in real life, rather than nearly fainting with giddiness, like I did a few months back, when encountering two Sparts outside Brooklyn College.

- Finish that Dave Eggers book: Firstly, because it is witty, insightful and life affirming. Secondly, because otherwise Kara will beat me to death with aforementioned paperback if I don't. (What could be more "life affirming"?)

- Stop using wikipedia as a quick link in blog posts, without first reading what the actual wikipedia entry says. (See previous resolution.)

- Stop saying: "That show actually originated in Britain." Firstly, because it can ge grating to the listener when they hear it for the four hundredth time; and, secondly, because the show is invariably crap - see here for more details. It doesn't put British TV in the best possible light.

- Actually submit a book review to the Socialist Standard. (That noise you can hear in the background is not a tree failing in a deserted forest, but the collective jaws of the Socialist Standard Editorial Committee falling on the floor.)

- Learn Spanish so I can properly enjoy Channel 974 on the TV. I think I'm missing out.

- Stop being so cheesy. I sound like a James Blunt record at times, and that is not a nice thing to say about oneself. This can be cured with my ongoing rediscovery of the genius that is Luke Haines. The bloke makes Cathal Coughlan sound like a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF.

- Ensure that I'm properly stocked with the essentials for the event of this coming year.

- Oh, aye, and do my bit to smash global capitalism. (I'm contractually obliged to tag that one on at the end of my resolutions list.)