"Look up your facts . . . "

No apologies for returning to this. Absolutely love it.

I could listen to this between now and the next time Newcastle Utd win a trophy. Pete and Dud . . . . . The Troggs . . . Lenny Bruce . . . . Ray and Dave Davies, piss off.

Roger Mellie ("The Man on the Telly") ("The Manager of Newcastle Utd')

Sheer unexpurgated genius. Joe Kinnear does Roger Mellie from the dugout.

It's official: Newcastle Utd now populated by a cast of cartoon characters. Dennis Wise as Cockney Wanker . . . Joey Barton as Brown Bottle . . . Danny Guthrie as Rat Boy . . . Alan Smith as Terry Fuckwitt . . .Michael Owen as Spoilt Bastard . . . Chunky Viduka as both Fat Slags . . . and, er, as someone previously pointed out, Mike Ashley as Bobby Hill.

Shay Given as . . . nah, I like Shay Given. He should sign for a decent team.