Transfer listed on eBay

Sometimes real life just likes to imitate a Half Man Half Biscuit album track.

'All I want for Christmas is a T shirt with that bloke from Prague on it

What Paulie said . . . except, unlike Paulie, my shirt size is a svelte L.

Picture via Philosophy Football.

Getting Older

Bastard genius Half Man Half Biscuit lyric:

"Not long now before lollipop men are called Darren." [Totnes Bickering Fair]

Hat tip to the thoughts of chairman mickeymo.

In Place Of A Post-It Note On The Fridge Door

Bear with me. Currently listening to 'Super Popoid Groove' on the tinny earphones that cost me $2:17 from the local 99 cents store. (That can't be right.)

A daft and joyous slab of bubblegum pop off of Win's 1987 album, 'Uh! Tears Baby (A Trash Icon)', that in a just world should have sold 247,317 copies. Sold diddly squat but if New Labour was at all interested in preventative healthcare in the 21st century, it would be piping the tune over tannoys in town centres across the country. Cheaper than putting prozac in the water supply.

Where was I? Wait up . . . 'Shampoo Tears' has kicked in. Godlike. The Sound of Aging Scotland can take a running jump. Win were better than the Fire Engines. Somebody slip a mixtape in Quentin Tarantino's breast pocket so that Spam Valley can catch onto Win twenty years too late.

Half-watched the footie on the telly today. Had to. The other eye was on the Celtic match on the BBC website. Of course, they had to try and balls it up against Aberdeen.

Poor old Reidski: Millwall getting turned over by Leeds Utd on the same day that Celtic forget to read his script. They eventually nicked it with a Samaras goal but it doesn't bode well for next Sunday's game against the unmentionables. But I'm contractually obliged to type that.

In fact, Celtic will win 4-1 with Barry Ferguson scoring a brace of own goals. The shame will be so great that he will be banished to his home town club of Hamilton for next season's SPL, and they will be relegated quicker than it takes me to come up with a witty line that includes the words Barry Ferguson and Academical in the same sentence.

Of course it was the Man Utd versus Blackburn Rovers game that caught my eye - though Antoine Sibierski nearly had my eye out with that miscued shot of his after he came on as a sub in the earlier Wigan/Tottenham game.

Couple of observations about the Man Utd/Blackburn game:

The ref, Rob Styles, bottled it. Not that unusual a thing to type when pontificating about Man Utd and referees. The novelty this time was that he bottled the big decisions against United. They should have got a couple of penalties and, if Chelski go onto win the title, Ferguson will be pointing the finger at Mr Styles.

Scholes is past it. He was a passenger for most of the game. Too many mishit passes to go unnoticed and he contributed to Man Utd playing below par on a day when they had to be on their best to overcome one of their hoodoos. His frustration at being bypassed got the better of him, and some of niggly tackles he was guilty of betrayed a truth that he was out of sorts. It turns out that he is red hot Oldham Athletic fan. He should do the schoolboy dream stuff and play out a couple of years with them.

Tempted to say the same about Giggs but it was less about him and more about the excellent performance from his half time replacement, Nani. He was the class act on display for United. A tricky beguiling winger who threw the Blackburn Rovers defence into a state of panic. Nani stepped up when Ronaldo had one of his off days and when Rooney and Tevez were taking it turns to fail to hit the cow's arse with the studio banjo.

Friedel had a brilliant game in the Blackburn goal, but all the naysayers who rattle on about Rooney's lack of clinical finishing in front of goal were taking a lap of honour after yesterday's game. Up until now, I've been looking too close at the stats and not looking too much at the actual games. Rooney might be getting a goal every other game but it doesn't tell the whole story. There hasn't been such a profligate striker since Jimmy Hoffa filed his expenses claim after the 1963 Teamsters Strike. Okay, I made that last bit up. I meant to write . . . ' when Andy Cole was playing for Man Utd'.

Despite Simon Hattenstone's daft piece in the Guardian a few days back, where he sought to draw favourable comparisons between Ronaldo, Tevez and Rooney and Law, Best and Charlton, I wouldn't be surprised if Fergie breaks up the current triumvirate come the summer. Yep, even if they do retain the title and win the Champions League. I'm not convinced that he will continue to accept the current scenario of 'When they're good they're brilliant, when they're bad put John O'Shea on as an emergency striker . . . '. He's nothing if not unsentimental. The alice band on display at Old Trafford next season will be Berbatov's. Tevez will be sucking his dummy on the bench.

I still have Utd down to retain their title, but they won't clinch it at Stamford Bridge next Saturday. Chelski will lose at St James on the 5th May after the deflated comedown of losing to Liverpool in the Champions League. (And when that happens I will promise to stop referring to Will by his full name of Will Makem for ever more.)