The Magic Flute by Alan Spence (Canongate Press 1990)

'A long time,' said Malcolm. 'Folk change.' He looked about him, seemed edgy. 'Another pint?'

'Thanks,' said Brian. He watched Malcolm cross to the bar, amazed at the change in him, and at meeting him at all.

'Cheers! he said, as Malcolm brought the drinks over.

'Yeah.' The voice was as cold, noncommittal, as the hard stare.

'One of those coincidences, eh? What do they call it, synchronicity?'

'You mean us bumping into each other?'

'The thing is, I was just out seeing my folks and they mentioned George. Told me what happened to your dad. I was sorry to hear about it.'

'Were you?' The look made Brian uncomfortable. It was strangely detached, analytic. 'Just the fact of it I suppose. Somebody you knew. He was, now he's not. Dead as everybody else that's ever died. History. But the truth of it is he was a pompous old get and he's no great loss. If there's anything sad about it, it's what he did with his life.' He looked at Brian again. 'So, how you been wasting yours?'

'Teaching,' he said, then as some kind of justification added, 'Housing scheme. In Edinburgh.'

'An area of multiple deprivation no doubt!'

'It is actually.'

'So you turn out dole queue material. Or cannon fodder like Eddie Logan.'

'I do what I can within the system. Helped organise the strike over wages.'

'But essentially it's just one big control mechanism. And you've been programmed to keep it going.'

'So tell me something I don't know!'

'I always thought you had possibilities.'

'Hell of a sorry if I've disappointed you.'

'The old repressive tolerance trap. Gets just about everybody. You just said it. You settle for doing what you can within the system.'

'Well that's me summed up and dismissed. What have you been doing with your life?'

'This and that. Carrying on the struggle.' Again he looked around. 'Bastards are trying to nail me.'

'What for?'

'It's a long story. Right now I'm out on bail. That's why Mutt and Jeff over there are keeping an eye on me.'

Brian looked across at two men in the far corner, sitting, not talking. One middleaged, grey hair cut short in a fierce crewcut, the other younger, dark.

'I wouldn't stare,' said Malcolm. 'Probably arrest you for it.'

'Are they really watching you?'

'You think I'd make it up?'

Brian didn't answer. He had no way of knowing. This stranger spouting jargon at him might well be completely paranoid, psychotic.

100 Best Scottish Books

Following on from these two recent fiascos, I've finally found a book poll on the net where my reading count reaches double figures. It's sourced from The List, which is , I guess, Scotland's equivalent of Time Out and the article dates from 2005.

Twenty-one out of a hundred is not a bad reading haul, and there's another twelve or thirteen books on the list that I'd like to read at some point.

I thought it was a nice touch from the list compilers that they did not insist that the authors had to be Scottish by birth; just that the book listed had to have a strong Scottish connection. Hence, for example, the inclusion of Orwell's 1984 in the hundred, which was written on the Isle of Jura. (And, if you've ever read Orwell's collected essays and letters, his strong dislike of Scottish people is very apparent.)

Each listed entry in the linked article has a wee synopsis and well worth further investigation, but I have posted below links to some of the more interesting entries. (Well interesting to me.)

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie - Muriel Spark (1961)

Tunes of Glory - James Kennaway (1956)

The Thirty-Nine Steps - John Buchan (1915)

Under the Skin - Michel Faber (2000)

Buddha Da - Anne Donovan (2003)

Confessions of an English Opium-Eater - Thomas De Quincey (1822)

King James Bible: Authorised Version - Various (1611)

The Hound of the Baskervilles - Arthur Conan Doyle (1902)

The Divided Self - RD Laing (1960)

The Gowk Storm - Nancy Brysson Morrison (1933)

The Cone-Gatherers - Robin Jenkins (1955)

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson (1886)

Sunset Song - Lewis Grassic Gibbon (1932)

Born Free - Laura Hird (1999)

The Silver Darlings - Neil M Gunn (1941)

The Life of Samuel Johnson - James Boswell (1791)

Annals of the Parish - John Galt (1821)

Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (1902)

The House with the Green Shutters - George Douglas Brown (1901)

Lanark - Alasdair Gray (1981)

Paradise - AL Kennedy (2004)

The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner - James Hogg (1824)

Trumpet - Jackie Kay (1998)

Morvern Callar - Alan Warner (1995)

Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell (1949)

Swing Hammer Swing! - Jeff Torrington (1992)

Hotel World - Ali Smith (2001)

Trainspotting - Irvine Welsh (1993)

The Trick is to Keep Breathing - Janice Galloway (1989)

Jericho Sleep Alone - Chaim Bermant (1964)

The Expedition of Humphry Clinker - Tobias Smollett (1771)

Lilith - George MacDonald (1895)

Imagined Corners - Willa Muir (1931)

Living Nowhere - John Burnside (2003)

Jelly Roll - Luke Sutherland (1998)

The White Bird Passes - Jessie Kesson (1958)

Young Adam - Alexander Trocchi (1954)

Rob Roy - Walter Scott (1818)

The Sea Road - Margaret Elphinstone (2000)

The Wealth of Nations - Adam Smith (1776)

The Break-Up of Britain: Crisis and Neo-Nationalism - Tom Nairn (1977)

Consider the Lilies - Iain Crichton Smith (1968)

No Mean City: A Story of the Glasgow Slums - Alexander McArthur and H. Kingsley Long (1935)

To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf (1927)

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J.K. Rowling (1997)

Madame Doubtfire - Anne Fine (1987)

Me and Ma Gal - Des Dillon (1995)

The Highland Clearances - John Prebble (1969)

A Concussed History of Scotland - Frank Kuppner (1990)

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding - David Hume (1748)

A Voyage to Arcturus - David Lindsay (1920)

The Golden Bough - James Frazer (1890)

Grace Notes - Bernard MacLaverty (1997)

The Cutting Room - Louise Welsh (2002)

The Quarry Wood - Nan Shepherd (1928)

The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks (1984)

Brond - Frederic Lindsay (1984)

A Day at the Office - Robert Alan Jamieson (1991)

Behind the Scenes at the Museum - Kate Atkinson (1995)

The Dear Green Place - Archie Hind (1966)

Miss Marjoribanks - Margaret Oliphant (1866)

The Sound of My Voice - Ron Butlin (1987)

Flemington - Violet Jacob (1911)

Greenvoe - George Mackay Brown (1972)

The New Road - Neil Munro (1914)

Psychoraag - Suhayl Saadi (2004)

The Bull Calves - Naomi Mitchison (1947)

The Coral Island - R. M. Ballantyne (1858)

From Russia, With Love - Ian Fleming (1957)

A Disaffection - James Kelman (1989)

The Shipbuilders - George Blake (1935)

Our Fathers - Andrew O'Hagan (1999)

A Sense of Freedom - Jimmy Boyle (1977)

A Twelvemonth and a Day - Christopher Rush (1985)

The Lighthouse Stevensons - Bella Bathurst (1999)

Adam Blair - John Gibson Lockhart (1822)

But n Ben A-Go-Go - Matthew Fitt (2000)

The Siege of Trencher's Farm - Gordon Williams (1969)

The New Testament in Scots - trans. William Laughton Lorimer (1983)

The Game of Kings - Dorothy Dunnett (1961)

Open the Door! - Catherine Carswell (1920)

The Lantern Bearers - Ronald Frame (1999)

An Oidhche Mus Do Sheòl Sinn - Aonghas Pàdraig Caimbeul (2003)

Children of the Dead End - Patrick MacGill (1914)

One Fine Day in the Middle of the Night - Christopher Brookmyre (1999)

The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame (1908)

Garnethill - Denise Mina (1998)

Joseph Knight - James Robertson (2003)

The Magic Flute - Alan Spence (1990)

Electric Brae - Andrew Greig (1997)

The Guns of Navarone - Alistair MacLean (1957)

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith (1998)

Mr Alfred, M.A. - George Friel (1972)

Sartor Resartus - Thomas Carlyle (1836)

Black and Blue - Ian Rankin (1997)

Scar Culture - Toni Davidson (1999)

Whisky Galore - Compton Mackenzie (1947)

The Citadel - AJ Cronin (1937)

For the Love of Willie - Agnes Owens (1998)

Docherty - William McIlvanney (1975)

The Hope That Kills Us edited by Adrian Searle (Polygon 2003)

I mind seein him playin for the Huns in a European match on Sky wan night. Some bunch ae German basturts that were far tae guid for the Huns, eh. 4-3 doon on aggregate, and Tam gets the ba aff their star midfielder like sweeties aff a bairn and gans doon the inside right channel. And I'm stannin in this pub in Ferrytoon, and I'm shoutin at Laudrup, 'Make the run! Make the fuckin run!' Cause I can see where Tam wants tae play it, I can see it openin up.

So Laudrup makes the run, but the sweeper's right oan tae him, ken, Laudrup's left it tae late. So the ba goes out and the camera pans ontae Tam's pus, and he's got this expression, like, Ah cannae dae anythin wi this cunt. Ah wis pishin masel laughin in this pub. Me and Brian Laudrup! Neither of us guid enough for Tam!

[From Andrew C Ferguson's 'Nae Cunt Said Anythin']