Lost Property Podcast

Lost Property Office 2-9: Fire Alarm!

Action! Drama! Excitement! All what you have come to expect from the Lost Property Office Podcast. But why not add to that real live drama in the form of sirens and the potential for death of the lead characters. In this weeks Lost Property Office, I and my intrepid lost properteer are interrupted mid-flow, or at least mid-Steely Dan noodley work out, and have to evacuate the studio. Did we make it (Yes!) Where did we go (The Pub). Was it alright in the end? Well you be the judge of that dear listener.

In the meantime thrill not just to tales of fire, but of the correct pronunciation of Aja, the slowest bit of archery ever done by man, turning right instead of left, Pedigree Bitter vs Pedigree Chum, losing your memory and a cute yet slightly creepy toy monkey. We also toy with invading someone’s privacy (again, but decide against it. Even after the impromptu mid-show pint. My intrepid loser this week is Francis O’Shaughnessy, Walthamstowite and general good egg.

Lost Property Office 2-8: Annoying Axl Rose

This week in the Lost Property Office you finally, the interview you have all been waiting for. The Nabob himself of this scene, Tom Ewing, a man who tells a good story, and – thankfully for this podcast – has been known to lose the odd item or two. Picking up the final few guests before the podcast disappears up its own concept, lost in the mists of losing stuff, Tom gets to talk about catching them all, then losing them all, yes Jigglypuff I am talking about you. Do you dare consifer the morality of Pokemon?

Elsewhere on this trip through the reliability of memory lane, we discuss bands that NEVER split up, one band that did and an ex members constant attack on its memory. Man-bags, Tropicana Orange Juice, Zico Coconut Water and the reliability of signed items. All of which done to a motley selection of TV themes, cover version and the dread/awesome sound of OPPENHEIMER. And don’t forget the large bronze cock… All of this and what the P in Genesis P.Orridge really stood for.

Lost Property Office 2-7: Half A Deer’s Skull

Are you sitting comfortably? Because this weeks guest wants to take you on a journey. A journey that involves bitter rivalry, tradition, softball and a macabre trophy which was liberated, transported and then lost. And the response of the Grand Elders of the Tennessee / Kentucky / Carolina Left Wing Softball Tourney to that loss. It is a tale that takes us right into the heart of darkness. And that heart, as ever, lies in the lost property office.

This weeks guest is more comfortable on the other side of the mic, hosting the terrific Slug Of Time science fiction podcasts from a few years back on FreakyTrigger. Now thoroughly ensconced within the BBC, he gets to tell us of one of the most bizarre lost items we’ve ever heard of, being physcially more lost than anyone we’ve ever had on, and bringing up the largest item of lost property we’ve ever had in the office. Truly they do everything bigger in the US – and it was great fun to welcome up Elisha Sessions to get lost with us. Beware of the grand elders…

Lost Property Office 2-6: Monster Fun Annual

And we are back, season two of the Lost Property Office limps stridently forward having survived a complete clearout, reorganisation and a system put in place. Which is better for the students, strike rate of returning keys and small electronic equipment has soared by over 100%, but less good for the show. But creative constraints can cause creative epiphanies, and who better to discuss creative epiphanies with than novelist and comics writer Al Ewing.

Actually we almost totally avoid talking about creative epiphanies, to instead discuss lost comic panels, skinny men getting stuck in holes, posh breast cancer ribbons, A BOOK THAT SHOULD NOT BE OPENED (we open it) and pop music which for the first time on Lost Property Office we recognised from the opening notes. And for pretty much all of the running time Al forgot (until pushed) to pimp his new novel The Fictional Man, which is a pulp rollercoaster ride through a metafictional universe eerily similar to ours (which at least as many Sherlock Holmes’s). I’ve read it, its great! At least as good as he is on this show.

Lost Property Office 2-5: The Bread Of Life

So the great clear out happened. WHat went from an Aladdin’s Cave of the lost and misplaced briefly had bare shelves. We even got rid of the duvet. So the Lost Property Office took a short hiatus for a few weeks whilst we patiently waited for the students in the area to start losing things again. And what a bunch of losers they turned out to be, from law pupillage guides, to bodice ripping fantasy yarns. Oh and a pair of pants, there is always a pair of pants. How do people lose pants? Seriously.

But as ever I digress, like we always do on the show. So in this weeks show, we discuss anti-abortionists, cats, cat castration, basically a whole fistful of sexual reproductive issues. And you don’t want that in your fist. This weeks guest is Marna Gilligan, FreakyTrigger’s queen of cheese. Watch her delve with gusto into the all new lost property office.

Lost Property Office 2-4: Choose Life

Welcome back to the Lost Property Office which is reaching a critical phase in a standard University term. The duvet is still there, but the influx of lost jackets, jumpers and notes, oh so many notes, is threatening THE BIG CLEAR-OUT. Well before that happens, we had a fine discussion on Ewan McGregor, Polish music, and rummaging through bins to find lost wedding rings. Oh and this is bay far the sweariest Lost Property office we have ever had (don’t worry, all swears bleeped out unless you consider PISH to be a swear).

This weeks Lost Properteer is Meg Hewitt, and has proper found MP3 music on it. No idea what it is, as ever please let us know what you think it might be. We also see a welcome return to “Though The Pencil-case” to wonder who lives in a pencil case like this? And see how fast I can find a piece of music if I need too – we truly are living in the future. As ever you can download here, or iTunes and enjoy!

Lost Property 2-4: Choose Life

Lost Property Office 2-3: A Dirty Great Crease

Hello Losers! Hmm, not sure if I should call regular listeners to The Lost Property Office Losers, you are all of course winners of a brand spanking new podcast. And this week I have one of the original Lollards for you, a man who by his own confession rarely loses, but rarely finds stuff either. And is always getting lost, and the approbation it might summon up. This intrepid Lost Properteer is of course Tim Hopkins.

In our little chat we broach upon parental disapproval, the Police Benevolent Fund, why anyone would need a calculator, the theory of mix CD’s, and we learn via book and flexi-disc how to play guitar. Unfortunately we do not have guitar in the studio to prove that we have completely learned how to play it. There is also some music which may or may not be by Michael Jackson, and as is often the way we seem to talk about the GOOD OLD DAYS. Oh and I sign not once but twice (Gordon Lightfoot and Miguel…) Download here, or on iTunes and enjoy.

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Lost Property Office 2-2: An Olive In Sausage-Casing

How can we follow last weeks wonderful tales of hands across the water and the stirring, beating heart of communist Cuba? Well mainly by being rude to an out of date new age owl based diary, and City AM. We really give City AM a kicking. We hate City AM. All this and Chilean pesos, pennys found on the floor and a huge giant laminated poster which is remarkably scary. All of this and a terrible joke in the intro that might put you off for life.

Today’s guest plucky enough to brave the duvet of doom in the Lost Property Office is the old Lollard’s stalwart and raconteur in chief Alix Campbell. She brings us tales of South America, London, Dorset and bins. We talk about flightless birds, collecting coins and other things lost and found. Music comes from the Balkans we think, Baille Balkan Funk perhaps, which maybe is just all Sam & The Womp all the time…

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Lost Property Office 2: 1: The Margins Are Huge

Welcome to the second series of The Lost Property Office, in which a guest comes into my office, full of lost items and uses it as a Proustian springboard for the losses and discoveries of their own life. We have waited eight months for the office to restock itself, and there is no end of tat waiting to be discovered.

In today’s episode we start with a bang, a losing story of an international, some may diplomatic scale, and perhaps one which may equally affect you from a political and philosophical point of view. We also briefly talk about hats, and we snub Mel Gibson. My guest is Mark Morris, journalist, film critic and writer of the Disappointing…Yet Brilliant blog which rightly picks Damsels In Distress as one of the films of last year. As ever you can listen to the podcast here or download it from iTunes when it is up, so turn your podcatcher back on.

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Lost Property Office 12: Wilsons Promontory

All good things come to an end, as do admittedly most bad things. Wherever you pitch out weekly trip to the Lost Property Office on the quality spectrum, its sad to say that this is the last episode of the season. But what an episode! Tales of air/land/sea rescue, family feuds and family secrets, Promethean tales of making fire, philosophical discussions on bits of broken pot. Its all here, with a guest who did some prep (take note – it shows!) Dani Neal. Also birthday card etiquette, the return of an old item – what kind of a person lost this – and a Korean iPod stuffed with surprises.

If you recognise any of the stuff, or indeed any of the tracks on the Korean iPod, let us know. And if you are interested in joining in on the next series let me know. You have a couple of months to amusingly lose items for the express purpose of a good annecdote!