The internet is a calm place where people rarely get up in arms, so you can imagine how this work out secret is being perceived, but let’s face facts: getting sick is a great weight loss trick. Doesn’t matter what kind of illness it is, could be the flu, a stomach bug, cancer, or AIDS, if you get any of that shit then you are on the fast track to beach season.

Cosmopolitan’s promise to its readers is to deliver the most up-to-date sex and weight loss secrets. If you don’t like it then you don’t have to participate, but the facts are the facts and they say that 44 pounds is no small feat. Those are numbers that get you to be the lead actress in a Jenny Craig commercial.

Cancer is no different than any other weight loss tip, if you don’t want to put in the work then just stay fat. Cosmo could say “eat six small meals throughout the day” and if you don’t want to do all that cooking then you’ll keep the weight, they could say “exercise an hour a day” and if you don’t want to get off the couch then that’s your choice, or Cosmo could tell you to contract a rare cancer and shed pounds. If you’re not into that kind of regiment then that’s totally fine, you don’t have to do it.

But, if you ask me, losing weight while sick is the best of both worlds. Don’t have to get up, don’t have to force yourself to sweat, you just lay in bed all day and watch TV while shivering off the pounds then you wake up and hit the beach. That’s the dream right there. HydroxyCut can’t do that, cancer can. Just a tip for the readers.