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Cry me a River (Song): Doctor Who brings out the manbabies

John Birmingham
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If giant manbabies are crying for the waaaaamblance, then all is good with the world. And yesterday, thanks to Doctor Who, they cried a river.

Well, OK, a few of them did, and it was only because the Doctor turned into a lady, not because equal pay or adequate funding for women's shelters suddenly turned into a real thing. But you take your fun where you can find it in this fallen world of ours.

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It's a girl! The new Doctor Who is born

After intense speculation the new Doctor Who is revealed, and will be played by Jodie Whittaker.

The BBC's big reveal of Jodie Whittaker as the next Doctor promised to be great fun, at least until all of the dread pirates stealing the Game of Thrones season premiere slowed the interwebz to a trickle in late morning. Within less time than it takes a Weeping Angel to transport a manbaby back to a time when men were men and really didn't bother themselves with silly shit like this, my Twitter timeline erupted, mostly with celebration, but also with the battle cries of culture warriors who knew, they just knew this was going to be the outrage of the day.

But was it? Really?

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Yes, some permanently angry basement trolls added a few cents to their mum's power bills running their old Pentium boxes at white heat to spew extra steamy geysers of bile onto the BBC for ruining their childhoods. But it was too early for Sky's nightly Fox-lite chorus of jabbering idiots to bring their special brand of stupid to the party and, well, mostly people either didn't seem to care or thought it was kind of cool.

There was a nice video of a young girl getting very excited be the new Doctor is a girl.

There was Mike Carlton harrumphing that he always thought the show was tedious and infantile and couldn't care less about a female doctor.

And there is the inconvenient truth that other than a complete lack of imagination, there's no narrative reason the Doctor can't be a woman. Time Lords are a race, not a gender, and apart from that unfortunate flirtation with Venusian Karate during the Jon Pertwee era, the Doc has never relied on his fighting skills to prevail over Daleks or Cybermen. Neither upper body strength or a dangly reproductive system are prerequisites for piloting the TARDIS.

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