News in Brief
Australia Falls 4 Places – From 18th to 28th – In International Maths Rankings
Research Finds Most Typing Errors On Digital Media Caused By AutoCock
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
God Doesn’t Give A Fuck Who Gets Married
Apple Launches New, Beautifully-Designed Tax Avoidance Program
Pauline Hanson Dismisses Xenophobia Claims: “I’m Not Afraid At All Of Nick Xenophon”
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
House Prices To Fall From ‘Unattainable’ To ‘Out Of Reach’, Analysts Say
Experts Now Recommend Taking Photos Of 3 Meals A Day
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
-
-
Brutal New Game Of Thrones Episode Sees Peter Dutton Given Extended Powers
-
Donald Trump Jr Says Meeting With Russia Was ‘Nyet Big Deal’
-
-
-
-
-
Autistic Kids Fear Stupid Senators Holding Normal Senators Back
-
Experts Warn Against Saying ‘Fidget Spinner’ In A Kiwi Accent
-
New Uber App Displays All Sexual Harassment Cases Currently In Uber HQ
-
-
First Episode Of New Dr Who To Just Be Men Explaining Concept Of Time Travel To Jodie Whittaker
Acknowledging that the show’s new female lead will probably not be familiar with the ins and outs of physics, producers today confirmed that the first episode of the new...
-
New Fad Diet Involves Eating Nothing But Your Own Bullshit
A fashionable new diet requires followers to stick to a strict routine of pomegranate juice and their own self-important drivel.
-
Melbourne’s Coldest Morning Of The Year; 18 Queenslanders Found Dead
Melbourne woke up to a chilly 4 degrees this morning, the coldest of the year so far. Eighteen former Queenslanders died.
-
John Howard Says His Decision To Get Spray Tan Was Based On Best Information Available At The Time
Former Prime Minister John Howard addressed the media today telling reporters he does not regret his decision to paint his face orange.
-
God Opens Twitter Account To More Easily Check On Thoughts And Prayers
In a sign he is adapting to the digital age, God today opened a Twitter account to allow him to follow #thoughtsandprayers directly.
Follow The Shovel
