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T(ext)-Shirt

What follows is the full text--the left and right--of a t-shirt called "Them-speak." It was designed by Bernard Rhodes, Malcolm McLaren, and Vivian Westwood and sold in Sex, a Kings Row (London) boutique and one of the tactical centers of the punk "movement." (Rhodes went on to manage the Clash; McLaren to manage the Sex Pistols.) Notice how the shirt--like this list by Roland Barthes--functions as both manifesto and poem.

Use this shirt as a model or pattern for making two shirts/poems of our own. First, design a shirt that expresses the loves/hates of the person you're focusing on in your mystory. Second, design a shirt that expresses your own loves/hates.

Unless you're British, you probably won't catch many of specific items refered to on these shirts, but you should be able to figure out or, at least, to guess the categories Rhodes, McLaren, and Westwood used in naming their objects of love and hate. Employ as many of these categories in making your own lists as you can but, also, feel free to name items from other categories that are more significant in your life.

* * * * *

You're gonna wake up one morning and know what side of the bed
you've been lying on!

(Hates:) Television (not the group)/Mick Jagger/The Liberal Party/John Betjeman/George Melly Kenny & Cash/Michael Caine/Charles Forte/Sat nights in Oxford Street/SECURICOR impotence or complacency (slogan & Robert Carr)/Parking tickets/19, Honey, Harpers, Vogue in fact all magazines that treat their readers as idiots/Bryan Ferry/Salvador Dali/A Touch of Class/BRUT for--who cares?/The Presidents Men/Lord Carrington/The Playboy Club/Alan Brien, Anthony Haden-Guest, Vic Lownes, to be avoided first thing in the morning/ANTIQUARIUS and all it stands for/Michael Roberts/POP STARS who are thick and useless/YES/Leo Sayer/David Essex/Top Of The Pops/Rod Stewart oh for money and an audience/Elton John--quote in NME 25 Sept re birthday spending/West End shopping/Stirling Cooper, Jean Junction, BROWNS, Take Six, C&A;/Mars bars/Good Fun entertainment when it's really not good or not funny Bernard Delfont/a passive audience/arse lickers/John Osborne Harry Pinter Max Bygraves Melvyn Bragg Philip Jenkinson the ICA and its symposiums John Schlesinger Andr‚ Previn David Frost Peter Bogdanovich/Capital Radio/The Village Trousershop (sorry bookshop)/The narrow monopoly of media causing harmless creativity to appear subversive/THE ARTS COUNCIL/Head of the Metropolitan Police/Synthetic foods/Tate & Lyle/Corrupt councillors/G.K.N./Grey skies/Dirty books that aren't all that dirty/Andy Warhol/Nigel Waymouth David Hockney & Victorianism/The Stock Exchange/Ossie Clark/The Rag Trade/E.L.P./Antiques of any sort/Housing Trusts who profit by bad housing/Bianca Jagger/Fellini/John Dungar/J. Artur's/Tramps/Dingwals without H/Busby Berkeley MOVIES/Sir Keith Joseph and his sensational speeches/National Front/ W. H. Smith/Censorship/Chris Welch and his lost Melody Makers/Clockwork soul routines/Bob Harris (or the sniffling Whistler as we know him)/The job you hate but are too scared to pack in/Interview magazine--Peter Lester/rich boys dressed as poor boys/Chelita Secunda, Nicky Weymouth, June Bolan, Pauline Fordham halitosis/Rose & Anne Lambton Chinless people/Antonia Frazer/Derek Marlow/Anne Scott-James/Sydney Edwards/Christopher Logue/Osbert Lancaster/Shaw Taylor--whispering grass/The Archers/BIBAS/Old clothes old ideas and all this resting in the country business/The suburbs/The Divine Light Mission/All those fucking saints.

(Loves:) Eddie Cochran/Christine Keeler/Susan 602 2509/My monster in black tights/Raw Power/Society For Cutting Up Men/RUBBER Robin Hood Ronnie Biggs BRAZIL/Jamaican Rude Boys/Bamboo Records/Coffee bars that sell whiskey under the counter/THE SCENE--Ham Yard/Point Blank/Monica the girl who stole those paintings/Legal Aid--when you can get it/Pat Arrowsmith/Valerie Solanis/The Price Sisters/Mervin Jones article The Challenge To Capitalism in New Statesman 4th Oct. 74/Buenoventura Durutti The Black Hand Gang/Archie Shepp Muhammed Ali Bob Marley Jimi Hendrix Sam Cooke/Kutie Jones and his SEX PISTOLS/This country is run by a group of fascists so said Gene Vincent in a 1955 US radio interview/Seven Days with Alexander Cockburn/Olympia Press/Strange Death of Liberal England--Dangerfield/Mrs Scully love goddess from Shepherds Bush her house slaves and Search magazine/Labour Exchanges as your local/FREE RADIO stations/A chance to do it for more than a month without being ripped off/The Anarchist Spray Ballet/Lenny Bruce/Joe Orton/Ed Albee/Paustovsky/Iggy Pop/John Coltrane/Spunky James Brown/Dewey Redman/KING TUBBY'S sound system/Zoot suits and dreadlocks/Kilburn & the High Roads/Four Aces Dalston/Limbo 90--Wolfe/Tiger Tiger--Bester/Bizarre Humphries/Woolf--Waves/Walt Whitman poet/Exupery, Simone de Beauvoir, Dashiell Hammett, Dave Cooper, Nick Kent, Carl Gayle writers/Mel Ramos painter/Davd Holmes the newsman/Mal Dean cartoonist/Guy Stevens records/Mal Huff funny stories/D.H./Valve amps/Art Prince/Marianne Faithfull/Jim Morrison/Alex Trocchi--Young Adam/Patrick Heron v. The Tate Gallery and all those American businesslike painters/Lady Sinthia 908 5569/Experiment with Time--Dunne/John Lacey and his boiled book v. St Martin's Art School experiment to be seen in New York. Imagination....