10 Reasons Why It’s Shit Being Ian Crossland!

A bit late but anyway … 

The last few weeks have seen the hilarious spectacle of  EDL leader Ian ‘Stiffy’ Crossland exposed across the world’s media as a raddled old corpse of a joke.  Sources tell us that he has still not recovered from being humiliated at his Birmingham demo by Saffiyah Khan and he is refusing to leave the tent he occupies in the back garden of his ex-partner. For some reason he hasn’t quite seen the funny side of it all so here are 10 reasons why ‘Sticky’ Crossland is a fuck-bugling jizz-spigot on a massive global scale!

1/ He claimed that Saffiyah had ‘ignored’ the EDL’s minute silence for victims of terrorism but forgot to mention that no one else knew about it, including himself, as he was seen jabbering all through it…

2/ … and just because a few dozen EDL drunks suddenly decide to hold a minute’s silence, it doesn’t mean the whole country has to comply.

3/ He referred to Saffiyah as an ‘unwashed scrubber’ … err

4/ When a story goes viral across world media making you look like an utter-twunt-bucket, you cannot unwrite it however many poorly written and incoherent posts you make on Facebook.

5/ If you are going to protest against other people bullying women, try not to bully women in front of your own (poorly written) signs:

6/ … and try not to do this.

7/ Your speeches at demos are pish, really, really, cold, smelly, well fermented asparagus pish …

‘Quick! In the taxi everyone! He’s gonna do another speech!’ 

8/ The only reason the EDL haven’t sacked you is because they would lose 5% of their entire membership.

9/ Gail Speight, the EDL’s fallen Angel, has kicked you out of the house so you live in a tent in her back garden. She allows you in once a month for a shower, which you usually miss.

10/ Under your fuhrer-ship the EDL has made Pudding-Heid Golding’s Britain First weirdo evangelist cross wielding bacon mongers look professional. Which they clearly arent.

So all in all, while it has been a complete disaster for you, it has been a very, very amusing one for anti-fascists and the main question Crossland needs to ask is ‘when are the EDL going to pack it in?’ Hopefully soon but probably not. Give it up lad, it’s embarrassing for you!

Be Seeing You!

 

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Anti-Fascist Hero!

Note female cop co-ordinating her outfit with Saffiyah’s Specials t-shirt!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Ian Crossland is the leader of the few dozen remaining EDL and he has certainly led them – from out of the sewer and straight into the dungheap. He was humiliated by a strong female muslim anti-fascist (which are probably all his worst fears combined) and made him look foolish and errr … small, all in front of his remaining sycophants. And the rest of the world because the images went viral and made him look fucken stupid with one particular shot catching him being restrained from hitting her: 

In a casual acceptance of misogynist violence he also claims she was ‘lucky’ she still had her teeth which sounds like bullying women to me – and just the thing the EDL were protesting against on Saturday.

Crossland described Saffiyah as ‘dirty’ and ‘unwashed’ which is enormously ironic given his inability to shave properly and the fact he has a strong whiff of the prison yard about him.

Gail & Ian putting the ‘Fun’ into Erectile Dysfunction!

This is him with his ex-partner Gail Speight who was kicked out of the EDL for allegedly stealing money. She in turn has now kicked Crossland out which is why he is living in a tent in her back garden.

We managed to get a quick interview with Crossland before he sobered up and realised what a globally twunt-tastic bag of boak he was!

Mal: So, how are you doing?

IC: Well, it’s been raining, me tent is leaking, and the sleeping bag stinks of old feet, arse and failure!

Mal: Does Gail not let you in the house?

IC: Yeah, she lets me in for me monthly shower but I usually skip it.

Mal: And those photos?

IC: Yeah, she’s really fit for a 13 year … Eh? What photos? …

Mal: … Hello? …

Editor: Stop this now, its daft. Go to bed.

Anyway … we must keep perspective here and even though the images went viral, the EDL threat, politically, on the streets, or in the media, is very small as they struggle to bring even 100 to a demo and they are loathed by other far right groups. As for Saffiyah, she can be proud to join a long line of iconic female anti-fascist activists like these. Well done!

in Spain … 

in France …

and in Luton!

Be Seeing You!

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Anti-Fascist Hero Of The Year!

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab!

Anti-fascist becomes media star! 

Note female cop co-ordinating her outfit with Saffiyah’s Specials t-shirt!

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World Wide Washout

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! Many apologies for blog laxity but ‘something is rotten in the state of Falkirk’ and we’ve had to up sticks and move the Yurt north to pastures grayer, i.e, Perth (whose Latin name means ‘Corpse’). However the UK far right are in a much worse state than Scotland’s 13th most interesting town after their World Wide Washout in Auld Reekie at the weekend.  No amount of boasts and blether can disguise an extremely piss poor turnout where ‘we brave few, we band of losers’ who ‘go where we want’ panicked and had to be protected for their own safety. 

‘Where are the rest of us?’

After the recent tragic disaster at Westminster (Khalid Masood not Brexit) the far right have accused the Muslim community of ‘not doing enough’ despite Muslims United For London quickly raising £18k for the victims; the Muslim women’s commemoration on Westminster Bridge; and other public and faith figures vocally condemning the attack, as did Masood’s wife. As usual, the neo-Nazis were quick to accuse the Muslim community of sheltering terrorists but forgot all the terrorists, psychos, pedophiles, rapists and domestic abusers that have been exposed in far right groupuscules.

Neo-Nazis defeating Antifa. Again.

UK neo-Nazis have been demoralised by their lengthy prison sentences for the Dover riot, although some remain convinced they ‘defeated Antifa’ whilst others claimed they were victims! They also whinge and whinny about anti-fascists getting lighter sentences but forget that their incarcerated incompetents have very long criminal records indeed. Bacon terrorist Bunny Crehan and OAP robber Nigel Sullivan, who both misunderstood the meaning of ‘suspended sentence,’ had years of previous. As do unemployable shit biscuit women beaters Shaun ‘Fatmess’ Jones and Diddyfiddler, and idiot followers Peter Atkinson, Tommy ‘Down By’ Law, Gary ‘Ichabod’ Crane, Lawrence ‘Friction’ Burns, and Brett ‘Norman’ Vaughan who are all HMP and no doubt abusing their prison issue sports socks in lieu of the muscular caresses of the female infidels. 

Bunny Crehan: ‘Hanging Around!’

However, we are not the kind of people to draw comparisons between mucky sports socks and the lady Infidels despite the fact that they’re both baggy, smelly and take as much spunk as you can throw at them! No! Absolutely not cos that’s just rude! We would merely suggest that, whilst awaiting the return of their incarcerated beaus, female fascists prune their ‘Lady Flowers’ which are no doubt sprouting like Chris Bonnington’s beard down the sides of their odiferous leggings – to paraphrase Milton’s Paradise Lost. 

Infidelle modelling her latest ‘Saville’ look!

But 1 question still remains unanswered: why is Paul Pitt still at liberty? Be Seeing You!

PS: any complaints (sports socks etc.) please email 
Editor@you-won’t-get-an-answer.com

 

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May The Farce Be With You!

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UK Anti-Fascist Women! Kicking The Fash Off The Street Since Always!

 

In July, 2016, EDL supporter Kevin ‘Bunny’ Crehan (below) was jailed for a year over attempting to defile a Bristol mosque with bacon sandwiches. He was found dead in his prison cell on 27/12/16 although the cause remains unclear. crehna

We have always maintained that far right groups are, or act like, criminal gangs, and the EDL are no different: original leader Tommy Robinson is a career criminal jailed for assault, football hooliganism, using a false passport, and major fraud, none of which were political. Crehan was also a career criminal with 55 separate offences on his record. And he wasn’t the only far right member to die in prison recently: neo-Nazi goon Nigel Sullivan (below) got 13 years after attempting to rob an OAP but once in prison he was attacked with boiling water and sugar before hanging himself.crehna

Sullivan: The Only Good Nazi …

Crehan wasn’t the 1st or last to be done for the juvenile act of defiling mosques with bacon: in June, 2014, 2 SDL members were jailed for it and in November, 2016, 2 Polish eejits were jailed for the same thing. The far right are ‘outraged’ that pork based antics are ‘illegal’ when in fact the problem is the vicious racial abuse, physical intimidation and deliberate offensiveness that goes with it. If pork was ‘illegal’ then no doubt EDL members would be smuggling sausages into prison via the usual methods.

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EDL pork smuggler prepares for prison visit

The tiny Poo & Mash made-up ‘firm’ of failed hooligans and drunks are organising a demo in ‘support’ of Crehan so the few dozen slags left at EDL HQ are going along in support. Desperate for attention as always, Robinson is trying to move in on the demo and the EDL extremists he once abandoned – like he abandoned the BNP, British Freedom, Quilliam, and UK Pegida, as well as his wife and kids whilst in jail or gadding about like a twat. The EDL are engaged in full-scale digital bitching, tearing each other to bits, and denying it all on the information superhighway as usual which anti-fascists have found most amusing!

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Fatty Jeffrey Marshbubbles: Single for some reason

Every death in custody is tragic and exposes the lack of support, mental health provisions, counselors and medical staff available to prisoners, so maybe the EDL should be protesting about all suspicious deaths in police custody or prison rather than selecting Crehan for their bizarre version of martyrdom. May the farce continue!

See Inquest website

http://www.inquest.org.uk/issues/home

Interesting article by Aliyah Hasinah

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/four-reasons-why-racist-uk-needs-black-lives-matter-1575149

NB: we do not necessarily endorse all the views espoused in the above  links.

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The Latest From News Twat!

 

After months of chaos, strikes, and uncleaned pooey toilets, Southern Rail have finally accepted a takeover bid from kids TV series Chuggingtons. Although the Chuggingtons trains are too small and don’t actually exist, it is doubtful that passengers will notice any difference. Southern Rail have also unveiled their latest plans to expand the London – Sussex network by using ‘some really long bits’ and a Tardis for passengers to travel back to a time when the trains actually turned up.

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Meanwhile, support for the UK far right continues to dwindle with most of them either in prison, on tag or on bail and those who aren’t are grasses (see pic below). Along with a ban on the Combat Under-18s of National Action Men, eejits like Shaun ‘Little Balls’ Moth have been jailed for inflammatory postings on the net, National Action Man Lawrence ‘Friction’ Burns is on remand awaiting sentencing for similar, and the bizarre threats made by Pudden Heid Golding of Britain First about killing MPs and journalists is likely to see him back on the nonce wing with no visitors again.  As usual the far right bleat on about ‘free speech’ completely failing to understand that rights are contingent on responsible use of them and sending anti-Semitic tweets to women or making offensive vlogs exploding with racial hatred are just not very nice! If the lack of traffic on fascist forums like VNNuk and Stormfront Britain are anything to go by, they are indeed a shadow of their former shadow.

Ian Crossland & The Inflatable Twat

Proverbs, 26.11 says ‘As a dog returns to its vomit, so, too will the English Defence Leaugue repeat their folly’ but this won’t stop Ian Crossland, the leader of the utterly dead EDL, who is calling for yet another demo at Rotherham. Their previous visit didn’t go so well especially when they got absolutely battered and chased away by the local community and which saw 4 EDL jizz-sticks ending up in jail. Shame that.

Sullivan: Gone But Well Forgotten 

And speaking of prison, 2 fascists have been found dead there in the last few months: Nigel Sullivan, who robbed an OAP, got the ‘napalm’ treatment, then hung himself in despair; whilst Kevin Crehan, who was jailed for draping bacon on a mosque, was also found dead in his cell and will no doubt be mourned by other racists who never actually met him. With supporters of this calibre, no wonder the UK far right is a mess and as if we needed further evidence, check this clip from Jeremy Kyle which shows bed-wetting pant-shitter Conrad Ainscough being humiliated over his 180 convictions and looking like a buffalo’s prolapsed arse. He clearly has no idea what recidivism means.

Anti-fascists, as always, still need to keep an eye on them.

chomsky

wullie

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2016? Thank Fuck That’s Over!

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Anti-Fascists Fight Against Daesh! 

Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! To say that 2016 was a big loada boak is an understatement but boaking buckets aside, the UK far right did have an utterly shite one as well with masses of arrests, jail time and public embarrassments. The year started with a right bang in Dover when a load of fascist wank-spasms and shit-cones had a jolly old knees-up that ended up in mass brawling with plod, anti-fascists, and each other – which they then repeated in April. Despite temporary unity of the fractured groupuscules, these demos proved disastrous with accusations of grassing and cowardice followed by some heavy manners sentencing. Co-organiser Paul Podromofo of South East Alcoholics may have avoided a doing over in Dover but he didn’t avoid some ‘soft middle class student’ anti-fascists who proper put him in hospital after a telling off.

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Down & Spark Out In Dover

Many of the North West/North East Imbeciles were utterly humiliated in Liverpool. Twice. And after their pint-size piss-pot leader, pregnant woman beater, and Irishman in denial, Shane Carrick William O’ Donnell Ballywinter Rourke Wood O’ Calvert was jailed, they remain somewhat moribund. O’ Calvert hadn’t changed his clothes since he last got out of jail so he was well pleased with his new 2nd hand underpants and grubby prison tracksuit that are better quality than his usual knock off tat.

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Lamped In Liverpool!

Rumours abounded at the start of 2017 that Fatty Jeffrey Marshbubbles of Poo & Mash was trying to take over the Imbeciles but as he is too old, lardy and rubbish at fighting to cope with frisky demos, and, after a stint in jail last year for bravely assaulting a woman, he has lost his bottle and prefers to hide in toilets. Poor Fatty Fuckbuckle.

fatdrunk

Joe Butler/Jeff Marsh: Jiggle-Oh!

Someone forgot to tell EDL leader Ian Crossland that calling a national demo in London that attracted less than 50 supporters was embarrassing. However, Crossland is a man limited by weak choices and stupidity and when even the most racist basic life-form can see the EDL is a waste of time, he has yet to digest such crucial information. He had been romantically engaged with ‘EDL Angel’ Gail Speight who was hoofed out for fiduciary malfeasance and we miss her drunken, wobbly speeches and the smatter of glamour she provided. After the EDL’s disastrous national demo, ex-convict failure Andrew Edge decided to organise a splinter faction called United Patriots of Britain but this disappeared as fast as socks in Poundland do when Edge is out ‘shopping.’

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Gail & Crossland: the Brad & Angelina of the EDL!

Britain First were the only group to maintain a media presence in 2016, usually over some fuck-up or other, but then Pudding-Heid Golding was jailed for breaking a court order and generally being a woodentop. He ended up on the ‘special wing’ tucking into his halal turkey twizzlers at Christmas but not only that, Jayda dumped him, BF sacked him, and all financial support was withdrawn. BF also organised a ‘Singles Division’ which, unsurprisingly, every BF member joined.

jayda

Jayda: ‘You’re going down mate – but not on me!’ 

National Action Men, the Combat Under-18s, also got a lot of coverage after being proscribed by the state. They were forced to disband in a huff as they had just printed 100s of quids worth of top quality bollocks on shiny paper which is now in the recycling bin. Plod will be keeping them under heavy manners in case they reform under a new nom-de-guerre. 

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Another Impressive Victory For National Action

Tommy Robinson’s Pegida ‘movement’ proved an utter failure with barely 100 turning up for demos and he really doesn’t know what to do with himself. May we suggest he gets a fucken job and looks after his kids instead of gadding about like a twat? Without Robinson, the far right have stumbled into 2017 directionless, leaderless and clueless as a replacement fuhrer has yet to emerge because few on the UK far right are articulate, confident or coherent enough to speak to the media, or keep their warring micro-factions from battering each other.

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The far right like wearing silly t-shirts with ‘Taliban Fighting Club’ or ‘Fuck ISIS’ on them but getting pissed and marching round Dover or Liverpool looking like ultra-qwunts is not the way to fight Islamic extremism. Anti-fascist militants from around the world are actually fighting Daesh in Syria and Iraq, and the Bob Crow Brigade are proud to fly the Anti-Fascist Action flag. Anti-fascists in Ukraine have also had to deal with neo-Nazis working for shady government organisations, as well as the neo-Nazis who are on the Russian side but they have also flown the AFA flag and we salute all our comrades in Iraq, Syria and Ukraine.

Victory to the anti-fascist fighters around the globe! 

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chomsky

wullie

 

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