Crivvens! Jings! And Help Ma Boab! What an absolute shower the March For England 2014 was! Last year they were battered and chased out of Brighton and then threatened a revisit on Saint No-Shows Day but this year was even worse. It was a dismal turnout: several dozen half wits with a massive total of 14 flags showed everyone they have no support in Brighton. Or Sussex. Or anywhere. The local Trades Council, trades unions, faith groups, community organisations and 100s of local people confronted them and told them to go away.

The MFE will no doubt blame bad weather,  train chaos and high hotel prices for their lack of numbers as a great many said they were going. Well, just because people ‘like’ your Facebook page or drunkenly say that they will be going when they have no intention of forking out hard earned, doesn’t mean they will be there. The MFE had been talking with plod for several months and had arranged to plot up in Wetherspoon’s on West Street (despite their silly claims that ‘we go where were want’) and stood at the doorway blustering and blethering away as anti-fascist numbers swelled. Dozens of anti-fascists blocked them in. The MFE had been claiming that this was a ‘family day out’ but any women or children who were there were with the anti-fascists. Plod used horses and heavy manners to shift us from the zone so they could get the MFE round the corner for their silly little parade. The MFE were then surrounded by 100s of plod for their own protection as 100s of anti-fascists lined the route. Plod allowed 5 minutes face time across the barricades so that anti-fascists and MFE could express their dissension but the whole thing felt very stage managed. Up to a point. As the MFE got to their RV point some canny anti-fascists dropped a banner from the adjacent flats saying ‘Fascists Go Home!’ which got a huge response from either side.

As we waited on the seafront to meet up with some comrades we saw a wee MFE family who had turned up late and were arguing with plod because they could not join the march. They ended up standing in the rain with a bag full of cider cans. To make matters more miserable the Mrs tore into the Mr for being an ‘imbecile,’ ‘an impotent shagspot’ and ‘a disappointment to the master race.’ Crivvens! That’s a wee bit harsh, hen! They then sulked on a bench then were moved by plod for their own safety.

We had a brief confrontation with Paul Prodromou, the ‘leader’ of the enormously small English Volunteer Farce. He was wearing his rather stained perverts mac and was accompanied by his ‘crew’ of 2 pissed blokes and a 13 year old. We congratulated them on such a splendid performance: ‘That was embarrassing mate. Where were the rest of them?’ Paulypops didn’t like our chant of ‘Bye! Bye! Bring us something nice back’ and adopted a camply masculine pose as his pre-pubescent ‘minder’ asked us to ‘come on then’ whilst bravely standing in front of 20 cops. Ooh, scary!

The MFE were stopped at the top of West Street and made to cross on their own in little groups which made them drop their usual bravado. As we stood on the hill at Church Street we watched the MFE march slowly by and there were much less than we first thought. 70 tops. Which is piss poor and they looked very disappointed. We were forced up to the station where things got a bit more hectic: plod had led MFE down a side street and anti-fascists moved in. Chaos ensued. We moved back to avoid kettling and the black block started throwing up a barricade between them and plod. A couple of female community cops got a bit of a jostle with 1 losing her hat. Then, a fellow PC gallantly escorted them to the safety of a phone booth saying ‘This way ladies.’ At this point we had to nick off from proceedings for lunch with Nanatesta and all the little minitestas. We have just found out there were 27 arrests. More later!

This photo shows how few they were:

Excellent image of yesterday's #stopmfe demonstration from @EDLParanoiaDiv: They don't even fill their own kettle! http://t.co/MeLP7qro9o—
Anti-Fascist Network (@AntiFascistNetw) April 28, 2014

This shows them getting a kicking at The Dorset:

http://twitpic.com/e2cawe

The far right is bitterly divided: the BNP is kaput; the NF is split in 2; the EDL are irrelevant thanks to the leadership skills of Tim All-Bran (the high fibre fascist) who has made a hames of the whole thing; and Britain First have alienated everyone through political buffoonery.