And then I won.
So here I am, like the occasional Oscar winner who doesn't write a speech because there's just no way in heckapalooza they could win, and then they do, and they speak extemporaneously and bizarrely, and everyone then thinks, "Wow, that person is a bird brain!"
Here, after the fact, is my extemporaneous acceptance speech upon winning the Last Drink Bird Head award in the category of "Expanding Our Vocabulary":
Oh wow. Gosh. Wow. Okay. So, uh, yikes, you know, I didn't actually, ummm, think I'd like, uh, win? The award? But here I am, so, uhhhhh, yeah! Wow! Man, these things are heavier than they look! Oh, so I should, ummm, there are -- there are people I have to thank! Right! I couldn't be here today without, of course, my parents, who made me, and ummmm, right -- and I have a dog! No, I don't have a dog. I don't even really like dogs. I've been thinking about getting another cat, because my old cats died and-- Wait, the red light's going on, that means I have to, like, wrap it up, right? But there are so many people to thank without whom I couldn't be here today! The person who invented the Internet for instance -- whoever you are -- thank you! And and and -- oh, the music, that means------ [MUSIC RISES]When the awards were handed out, I was actually up in northern New Hampshire and Vermont with Eric Schaller, Mr. Last Drink Bird Head himself (for the whole story, you have to read the book). Little did we know that we were celebrating!
Thank you to the mysterious cabal of advisors to the award; I am really and honestly grateful -- amazed! -- that the various work I've done has found an appreciative audience.