I think I’ve said this before, but it might be worth enshrining here for future reference. Therefore:
The First Law of Persecuted Fandom. If you are a passionate fan of one particular team, and you think you notice that that same team happens to be singled out, consistently, for outrageously unfair treatment by other fans, referees, and the media. . . then you are DEFINITELY RIGHT.
This has been The Run of Play’s First Law of Persecuted Fandom. Mathematicians, update your textbooks.
Read More: Persecuted Fandom
by Brian Phillips · March 9, 2011
The second law of Persecuted Fandom: If one or more fans of any clubs agree with any point you make… then you are DEFINITELY RIGHT.
Pretentious bollocks.
How about if you think the team they are playing is consistently singled out for preferential treatment, whether they are playing you or not? How is Massimo not the new Tom Henning…
@Piotr That’s the Sixth Law of Persecuted Fandom. But fortunately, again, you are RIGHT.
Curiously, there’s an almost identical law involving managers.
One of the great blessings of being a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan is that this persecution complex in me has been completely superseded by The Curse. This supernatural causal agency has overflowed into all my other fandom. So when Liverpool lose by being on the receiving end of a horrendous penalty given, my first thought is “You guys suck, and you’ll never win the Premier League because the gods have decreed it.” It’s nice not to feel like a Truther every match day.
hmmm… mathematics does seem to support this.
If you put the length of time between instances of percieved persecutions (L) into an equation with the level of deviousness of the referees conspiracy (d) and then use a complicated mathematical going on:
(L+a)(d+1) = sx
Ld+ad = sxd+ sx
L2ds + axd = x
You will eventually get the amount of trophies you would have won were it not for outrageously unfair treatment:
x = L0ads (where 0 is the circumfrance of a circle)
I love the art. Who made it/what is it?
There’s also Drogba’s Corollary: That kind of treatment is a fucking disgrace.
Law 12: Arsenal fans are always right about these things…
I assume you’re referring to the Scunthorpe – Swansea game last saturday, right?
@Mads In all seriousness, I am referring to every game in every league this season. I think I originally wrote this on Twitter in response to a Manchester United fan.
I think this is as funny as a burning orphanage.
The corollary to the first law: If even the supporters of your team’s archrivals – people obligated by fandom law to hate you – also agree that you’re being screwed, you’re definitely being screwed. (This corollary provided by a Tottenham Hotspur supporter.)
@Jake Meador However, that confirmation is a completely unnecessary bonus, because you were already definitely being screwed.
@Brian Phillips @Jake Meador I think it means you’ve OFFICIALLY been double-screwed.
Peace
Ty
Note that “consistently” in this case means ONCE (and perhaps one other time that your mate sort of remembers).
His name is Howard Webb. His name is Howard Webb.
I find it ironic that the comments consist largely of people trying to subtly put forth the claim that their club is actually persecuted.
It’s not just a team thing, as a striker, we are all persecuted for our beauty by the looters known as “linesmen”
Joke all you like, but this is a sport in which the referee decisions (even the corrct ones) have too much of an effect on who wins the game. Even without the whistle they can decide it – the ref. made a textbook defensive block on Joaquin’s goal-bound shot with ten minutes to go in the Schalke-Valencia match!
@Brian Phillips I knew this had to originate with Manchester United! I know this because my club is always persecuted therefore it inspires the most snark.
Where is the table that I’m supposed to use to determine the level of commiseration allowed in the application of the corollary of the first law? I don’t know what the x column is, but the y in certain internet environs seems to be related to the geography.
@hcduvall Hypothesis: The level of commiseration likely to be felt by Fan Y varies inversely with Fan X’s degree of certainty in the existence of the conspiracy.
@Alan Jacobs Originally established by the Transitive law of Presecuted Fandom one applied to the First Law of Presecuted Fandom.
Second Law of Presecuted Fandom: Just because you cannot outrightly be sure you are not being presecuted does not mean you are not at all times be persecuted by everyone.
My little brother cries when he’s persecuted. Tears of justice.
I’m a TOON supporter, and a Yank, and alla youse are amateurs. There is only one conspiracy and it is against the TOON.