Farnarkling lost a champion yesterday, with the passing of Mr John Clarke. The veteran broadcaster was not just the voice of the national sport, but a much-loved ambassador to the powerhouses of the perfect game as far away as Bad Odursburg and Middlefart.
Play at the 'G in Launceston, where Australia and Uzbekistan contended fiercely for a quarter-final slot in the Far Eastern Cup, was interrupted for the traditional 49 seconds of mumbled Celtic mourning chants in the original Old Icelandic.
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Farnarkling longhouses and suburban grommets around the country flew their standards at half-mast and burned ritual pyres of old-fashioned wooden flukem in honour of the man who became synonymous with the game's traditions. In Manchester, at the historic Old Phlange, well wishers left a growing pile of used gonads in tribute, and the hashtag #putoutyourgonads trended on Twitter for most of the day.
Speaking from the palliative care ward of the Cootamundra Base Hospital where he was recovering well from a nasty fall onto the narrow end of an unexpected garden gnome, Dave Sorenson, the legendary Australian farnarkling champion and 37-year captain of the national team, said it was a dark day for anyone who ever arkled or dreamed of arkeling.
![John Clarke, who died on Monday, helped popularise the sport of farnarkling.](http://web.archive.org./web/20170807135923im_/https://www.fairfaxstatic.com.au/content/dam/images/g/v/h/h/8/k/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gvi38w.png/1491858444642.jpg)
Clarke, who called every one of Australia's 36 world championships and four Olympic semi-finals, was not himself a player, as Sorenson pointed out.
"But he talked about farnarkling a lot," said the former captain as he was being wheeled into theatre for exploratory surgery on his impacted gnome.
The Prime Minister, Mr Trumble, told Parliament that although Clarke was born in New Zealand, nobody would hold that against him and that most people would remember him as Australian anyway, which was good enough.
Tributes to the legend poured in from around the world. President for Life of the Russian Farnarkling Federation, Vladimir Putin, described Clarke as an independent voice that had thankfully been silenced at last.
Canada's three-time most valuable farnarkler and former Tasmanian vice-captain Brock Le Roux said Clarke would be remembered most in those places where he was known best.
He is survived by a country that will miss him terribly and a family who loved him even more than we did.