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First Girl I Loved review: Dylan Gelula plays teen facing reality of coming out

★★★★
M, 89 minutes


That initial wave of adolescent attraction – where having a crush is crushing – bursts to life with woozy, delirious pleasure in this teenage romantic drama. As one Californian high school student tentatively pursues another, writer/director Kerem Sanga's camera swoons with exultation or imbibes rushes of rich colour. Anything momentarily appears possible, which is what makes what eventuates all the more difficult to understand, let alone deal with.

For the shy, sidelined Anne Smith (Dylan Gelula), her budding sexuality is second to her personal feelings for her popular schoolmate Sasha Basanez (Deadpool's Brianna Hildebrand). Anne realises she is a lesbian, but the momentousness of that is secondary to her connection to Sasha, who she interviews for the school yearbook and develops a bond with that becomes close when Sasha starts to reciprocate her affection.

The most enthralling screen romances in recent years, such as Moonlight and Carol, have involved LGBT characters, because there is an element of risk – whether in the form of society's disapproval, personal rejection or even dire physical threat – that underpins every flicker of feeling and momentary touch. The stakes for those involved are higher, which gives the rituals of togetherness a vivid, palpable force.

Anne not only has to navigate her connection with Sasha, she has to deal with her best friend, Clifton Martinez (Mateo Arias), who is distressed to hear Anne's excited news because he has long been in love with her. Clifton's anger makes him snarl and sabotage – there is little emotional middle ground for these 17-year-olds – and he even tries to date Sasha, who isn't aware of his connection to Anne, to insert himself into the situation.

Seen in outline that's a traditional romantic-comedy, complete with an unhelpful third wheel, but there's nothing textbook about what eventuates, as the momentary bubble between the two girls is publicly burst. In wanting to be with Sasha, Anne has to deal with predatory older men, fearfully bureaucratic school officials and disbelieving parents. The reality of coming out is suddenly very real.

Dylan Gelula had her breakthrough as a comically diffident teenager in the sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, but she exhibits vital dramatic instincts here. You could tell the movie's entire story simply through stills of her body language as her head lifts with optimism or her shoulders sag towards surrender.

This is the third feature from Sanga, an independent American filmmaker, and he captures both the immediacy of Anne's circumstances and how that impacts those around her with a twisty structure that offers a second angle on crucial moments. The film's title is love-struck, but this is a deceptively wrenching story of self-discovery and honesty.