What To Do When Bad Things Happen To You

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• published: 22 Oct 2015
• views: 5949

Welcome to Hard Talk. I'm Isaiah. You're here for the hard truth, and I'm here to give it to you. Use negative events to your advantage. When something bad happens to you, re-appraise it, as in look at it differently, learn from it, and then use it to your advantage. Studies show that people who are able to re-appraise negative situations and learn from them function better socially, are happier, and make better decisions overall, moving forward. When I was in high school, I was in an off again, on again relationship with a girl I was crazy about. Then she started dating my best friend. They even went to Prom together, and at one point during the night, the DJ told everyone to gather around my ex-friend and my ex-girlfriend in a big circle, and watch them slow dance to "Lady in Red," because she was the only one wearing a red dress that night. I remember thinking, you can't write this stuff. This could be a TV Show. I thought it was going to be the worst night of my life forever. Of course, I've had many other horrible nights since, and many great nights since. Now, looking back on it emotionally, I realize I learned many important things that night. I'm glad it happened. This is what re-appraisal is all about. The best way to re-appraise a negative situation is to see yourself as the Master of your problems, rather than the victim. Your problems are at your disposal. You can think about them, learn from them, and respond to them any way you choose. When something bad happens to you, change the way you interpret it. There are three keys to doing this. First, don't hide from the negative event. Instead sit with it, own it, dominate it. Pain is a very powerful motivator. If you're not using it to your advantage, you're missing out. As soon as your mind feels pain from a negative event, whether it’s physical or emotional, it will take action to relieve it, and there are only two ways to relieve pain; evasion and transformation. Now, evasion is what most people do. They evade reality by distracting themselves with gossip or meaningless drama; useless information in general. They drink, smoke, and eat themselves into a stupor every night, and watch the same movies and TV Shows over and over again. This is how they evade reality. Now, transformation on the other hand, is the process of using pain as motivation to reap benefits faster. Positive transformation is the only way to use pain to your advantage. Second, take responsibility for the negative event. You're not responsible for the negative event happening, but you are responsible for how you handle it. Stop thinking that bad things only happen to you. Stop thinking that bad things should never happen to you. The truth is, bad things happen to everyone and bad things are supposed to happen. You're being tested for a reason. Adversity is your best friend. It's the fastest way to grow. It's the shortest distance between where you are now, and where you want to go. Stay disciplined in your reactions. Refuse to blame other people for your unhappiness and lack of success. Refuse to blame them for all the pain you're experiencing in life. Instead, put yourself back in the driver’s seat. Take control of how you feel by taking responsibility for your own pain. Third, turn the negative event into a positive story. Think of the last fictional movie you watched. Think of the main characters. Were they happy all the time throughout the entire movie? Were there lives problem-free throughout the entire movie? No, of course not. If they were, you wouldn't have watched the movie. The movie would have been too boring and unrealistic. Now think of your own life. Consider a time in your past when you achieved something. When you had a problem and you overcame it successfully. What happened next? Did you stay satisfied forever? No. You went out and created more problems. You went out and found more problems to solve. You decided you wanted something else, and started taking action towards it. Then, surprise, you found out that this new thing that you wanted came with its own problems too. This is how the world works. This is healthy, so stop acting surprised by the fact that you have problems. You're always going to have problems. Start seeing problems as just another part of your positive Life Story. Do this and you'll live a more confident and focused life. Until next time, Live like a Lion.

What To Do When Bad Things Happen To You

• Report rights infringement
• published: 22 Oct 2015
• views: 5949

Welcome to Hard Talk. I'm Isaiah. You're here for the hard truth, and I'm here to give it to you. Use negative events to your advantage. When something bad happens to you, re-appraise it, as in look at it differently, learn from it, and then use it to your advantage. Studies show that people who are able to re-appraise negative situations and learn from them function better socially, are happier, and make better decisions overall, moving forward. When I was in high school, I was in an off again, on again relationship with a girl I was crazy about. Then she started dating my best friend. They even went to Prom together, and at one point during the night, the DJ told everyone to gather around my ex-friend and my ex-girlfriend in a big circle, and watch them slow dance to "Lady in Red," because she was the only one wearing a red dress that night. I remember thinking, you can't write this stuff. This could be a TV Show. I thought it was going to be the worst night of my life forever. Of course, I've had many other horrible nights since, and many great nights since. Now, looking back on it emotionally, I realize I learned many important things that night. I'm glad it happened. This is what re-appraisal is all about. The best way to re-appraise a negative situation is to see yourself as the Master of your problems, rather than the victim. Your problems are at your disposal. You can think about them, learn from them, and respond to them any way you choose. When something bad happens to you, change the way you interpret it. There are three keys to doing this. First, don't hide from the negative event. Instead sit with it, own it, dominate it. Pain is a very powerful motivator. If you're not using it to your advantage, you're missing out. As soon as your mind feels pain from a negative event, whether it’s physical or emotional, it will take action to relieve it, and there are only two ways to relieve pain; evasion and transformation. Now, evasion is what most people do. They evade reality by distracting themselves with gossip or meaningless drama; useless information in general. They drink, smoke, and eat themselves into a stupor every night, and watch the same movies and TV Shows over and over again. This is how they evade reality. Now, transformation on the other hand, is the process of using pain as motivation to reap benefits faster. Positive transformation is the only way to use pain to your advantage. Second, take responsibility for the negative event. You're not responsible for the negative event happening, but you are responsible for how you handle it. Stop thinking that bad things only happen to you. Stop thinking that bad things should never happen to you. The truth is, bad things happen to everyone and bad things are supposed to happen. You're being tested for a reason. Adversity is your best friend. It's the fastest way to grow. It's the shortest distance between where you are now, and where you want to go. Stay disciplined in your reactions. Refuse to blame other people for your unhappiness and lack of success. Refuse to blame them for all the pain you're experiencing in life. Instead, put yourself back in the driver’s seat. Take control of how you feel by taking responsibility for your own pain. Third, turn the negative event into a positive story. Think of the last fictional movie you watched. Think of the main characters. Were they happy all the time throughout the entire movie? Were there lives problem-free throughout the entire movie? No, of course not. If they were, you wouldn't have watched the movie. The movie would have been too boring and unrealistic. Now think of your own life. Consider a time in your past when you achieved something. When you had a problem and you overcame it successfully. What happened next? Did you stay satisfied forever? No. You went out and created more problems. You went out and found more problems to solve. You decided you wanted something else, and started taking action towards it. Then, surprise, you found out that this new thing that you wanted came with its own problems too. This is how the world works. This is healthy, so stop acting surprised by the fact that you have problems. You're always going to have problems. Start seeing problems as just another part of your positive Life Story. Do this and you'll live a more confident and focused life. Until next time, Live like a Lion.