As the Liberal Party's agony is played out via leaked tapes of sermons delivered by the high priests of opposed liturgies - Christopher Pyne for The Wets, Tony Abbott for The Parched - Malcolm Turnbull is taking the last-ditch route of the Apostle Peter.
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What Abbott could learn from Gillard
As former PM Tony Abbott continues to criticise his party, more are heaping criticism on him. Perhaps he should take some advice from fellow former PM Julia Gillard.
Those familiar with the Gospels might recall that Peter denied knowing his leader thrice in the night between the Last Supper and the cock crowing the following morning.
Malcolm, of course, is no mere apostle.
Though it's a while since anyone has witnessed him walking on water, he's supposed to be the actual leader.
Still, in the current Liberal outbreak of rending of garments and gnashing of teeth, you'd almost forgive him for becoming confused about who was up and who was down.
Malcolm, anyway, has taken to denying he knows even the name of the leader he has deposed.
Interviewed on the ABC on Wednesday about the latest leaking to Fairfax of a tape from a Liberal forum, the one where Tony Abbott all but announced he'd ordered Malcolm's cross, the Prime Minister wouldn't use the name of the voice that was recorded at all.
"I'm not going to comment on the gentleman you described," he said when asked whether Tony Abbott was being helpful by describing Turnbull's latest budget as second-rate.
That was denial number one.
Denial number two came when Malcolm was asked whether Tony would feature in a Turnbull cabinet - the equivalent, you might say, of a place at the supper table among the sainted apostles.
"I know you're interested in the gentleman you described, but I'm not," said Malcolm.
The inquirer finally tired of this ordeal of artful dodging.
"Gentleman? Are you able to say his name?," asked the ABC's man.
And there it came. Denial number three.
"I'm not going to get down into what Scott Morrison has described today aptly as background noise," said Malcolm, avoiding using the cursed name by reaching for the name of an alternative apostle who, you'd imagine, he hoped was more reliable than the one he'd condemned to the darkness.
About then, the ABC missed a wonderful opportunity to play a recording of a cock cockle-doodle-dooing.
Perhaps it was a little early. This torment appears to be still in its early stages.
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