In 1976, Yvonne Allen had a psychology degree, a P76 Leyland, an old English sheepdog and a $3000 house in Broken Hill. She went to Sydney and took a job as a marriage counsellor, but left after 10 days with a revolutionary idea. Four decades later, her matchmaking service is still successful.

I saw a job with a matrimonial service for a counsellor. There were two men and they introduced people seeking partners. But the woman in the back office never met the people, she was just shuffling cards.

They saw my coming in as a way of legitimising the process, so I left. I wrote a paper, which the Royal Commission on Human Relationships took as a submission, saying there was a need for a professionally monitored way of meeting. I could not get anyone to start this service so I said, to the absolute horror of my family and friends, “I will”.

I went to the bank manager in Spit Junction [Mosman, Sydney] with this big vision and said, “I’m going to make this happen.”

And he said, “There’s no way you will survive, but I’ll give you $1500 on the house.”

I told my first client he could meet me, but if he didn’t pay I wouldn’t be able to open the following week. But I guaranteed a minimum number of introductions, and I said, “I will now help you meet yourself.”

Three months [after starting Yvonne Allen & Associates], I was interviewed on the ABC. [They invited] people to call and the lines were flooded.

A lot of men will say they don’t know if a woman is interested or available. The flirting complex is supposed to be innate, but it seems to have gone missing. A first date with somebody in business ends up more like a business meeting.

'We have reached a crisis state'

I believe the solutions are relatively simple and it is about appreciating our differences as men and women in the workplace. Women can bring many things into the workplace in terms of thinking associatively and more widely, and often more creatively. Rather than closing that off, open that up.

So many women have focused on their career at the expense of their personal life. We are going to be much happier if we consciously seek that balance and nourish the feminine in ourselves. By feminine I don’t mean the image a lot of women think. Yes, women are very strong, but our softness is part of our strength.

We have reached a crisis state: look at the millions and millions of people who are out there saying, “Not for me, not for me”, just by looking at a photo. If you meet somebody who you enjoyed meeting, but you don’t think there is likely to be a spark, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep seeing them. The spark is often the distraction. It’s a lovely thing to let simmer.

A lot of us have lost the knowledge of how to hold an intimate conversation, to open the heart. I spoke to some friends of my daughter. I said, “Love is love. A modern way of meeting someone and falling in love may be Tinder, but what about friendship?”

The issue for younger women is much more the lack of experiencing and developing a really good friendship with a man.

Yvonne Allen spoke to Joanne Gray.

Like Leadership with the Financial Review on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Join the LinkedIn conversation.