Several Conservatives have taken issue with Labour’s pledge to be ‘extremely cautious’ before using the nuclear deterrent. What sort of 1970s nonsense is that? If you’re going to be extremely cautious about dissolving millions of civilians in an apocalyptic firestorm, you might as well bring back outside toilets 

Tomorrow she’ll tell us: ‘The days ahead are filled with opportunity but also of danger. For example, this morning a giant purple mouse in my loft tried to persuade me to offer the French favourable trade agreements on beetroot imports.’