DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 22 - CHAINSAW DADSMEMBERMENT

I'm fucking tired of doing these write-ups. It's late and I have to work in the morning. We talk about Mortician in this one and then get all bummed. Listen to it, or don't. We don't fucking care. Cheers.

Music:

Mortician: "Chainsaw Dismemberment"

Thrones: "Obolus"

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Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com

NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 86 - THE WACK LODGE AND THE TIGHT LODGE

Join Cory and Erik as we DORK THE FUCK OUT about the new season of Twin Peaks, reveal the gnostic, magickal, and alchemical underpinnings of Episode 8, and dissect the occult mythology of the entire series. Fire walk with us!


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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 85 - AMERICAN ASTROLOGY AND OTHER HOT ISSUES

Are you CONFUSED by your own reality? Then put your faith in the stars and allow me and Charles to explain to you why all these horrible things are happening! We dissect the astrology of Donald Trump and America itself, and make some BOLD PREDICTIONS about the future of the country. Tune in!


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 21 - SUFFER THE CHILDREN (with Jason Cropper)

The Dads are barely holding it together, and enter a marriage-counseling office in Jingletown, USA, to see if they can miraculously salvage their podcast. Assisting them is engineer, dad, and founding member of Weezer Jason Cropper, whose indispensable advice and knowledge just might heal Death Metal Dads. Can the show be saved?!

Also on the menu: Fusion Confusion, Rockabillypocalypse, Legal Weed in Mayberry, Tissue Issues, Hobo Hand-Me-Downs, Hakuna Matata vs Napalm Death, Philosophical Explanations of Mr. Ed and Gilligan’s Island, The Power Station (Sex Club), The Power Station (Concert Venue), Cleaning Up After Dogstar, Not Playing Metal: The Path To Success, A Re-Visiting of The Barney Greenway The Big Purple Dinosaur Joke, Not Even “Milton Berle Good”, Just Eat Bugs Like In The Lion King, George Glass, Shitler’s List, A Friendly Conversation Between Friends, His Wife’s Magic Pussy, Crimpshrine Chat, Mendocino County Reggae Bands of the Late 80s and Early 90s, Schwarzenegger Soundboards and How They Are Used, Kurzweil, Jung, Freud, and Francis The Talking Mule, Blastbeats, French-Cambodian Cuisine, Getting Pitted, Funktown Graffiti and How Aesop Names Neighborhoods, Psychedelic Warriors, The ‘Judgement Night’ Soundtrack, The Colors of Weezer, Progressive Shred, Chris Cornell’s Starbucks Order, Fuzz, Gazzari’s, TV’s ‘Beauty And The Beast’ Starring Ron Perlman, Anti-Semitism, Unrepentant Potheads, I Can’t Drive 25, Head Injuries, Fatherly Advice, and a very dead-people themed DMD Bump. Get trippy!

Music:

Napalm Death, “Suffer The Children”

Piero Umiliani, “Magical Children”

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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 84 - HOUSEBOATIN' INTO THE MILKY WAY

More Trop Rock! More CERN! More Ayn Rand Satanism! More Ancient Civilizations! More Saturn Worship! OMG. How can I fit all this content into just one show? Tune in to discover.


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 20 - SOULS OF THE DAD

It’s our very last episode. RIPDMD.

Music:

Merciless, “Souls of the Dead”

Dust, “Thusly Spoken”

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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 83 - WORKOUT WILL SET YOU FREE

It’s another solo show! Topics covered include: Ayn Rand’s Satanic influence on Rush and the Federal Reserve, Dilbert exposes the global warming hoax, lack of drugs and the teenage surveillance state and how IllCon intends to fix it, and a John Dee concept album listening party.


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 19 - MOMSTROSITY (with JERI SCARDINA)

In this very very special non-denominational Mother's Day episode, the Dads take a knee with Shelby's ACTUAL mom, Jeri, in an attempt to explain just exactly HOW he got to be so awesome. Myths are dispelled, legends crumble, and also they spend about 20 minutes straight talking about diaper-shitting. I dunno.

Also jabbered upon: Humboldt County Stereotypes Reinforced, Typical Deer-Repellant Salesman Maneuvers, Naming Children Sucks (Arguments For Abstinence), Cocaine Christmas With Mom, Further Complaints About Insertion, Virtual Reality Wookiee Grandpa, From Toilet To Toothbrush, Nazi Car: The Movie, Elaboration Collaboration, The Most Beautiful Taco Bell In The World, Post-Traumatic Cruiser, A Head-On Collision With The Fudge Truck, Dead Dad Revenge Selfies (Wacky Hat Edition), Those Knuckleheads In Congress: Part 2, A Paragon of Wholesomeness, Bootleg Fugazi Shirts, Fecal Chloroforms, Pants-Peeing, The Importance of Sucking First, Remembering L'Trimm, No Butt Stuff, Shitty Tipper Gore, Aesop: The College Years, Just Throw Away Your Clothes At That Point, A Good But Not Great Taco Salad, C+ Pizza Puns, BE PROUD, 12-Year-Old Shelby Kills The Record Industry, Bird Face, A Pumpkin With A 5 O'Clock Shadow, Raising A Candy-Ass, Getting Laid At Auschwitz, A Flashback To A Summer Romance Circa 1972 And The Death Metal Albums That Were Popular That Year, Garth Brooks Chat, Gay George Strait, One Listener Email, New Submission Rules, Ye Olde DMD Bump, and of course, Fatherly Advice.

Happy People's Day To All!

Music:

Monstrosity, “Imperial Doom”

Eddie Noack, “Psycho”

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NIGHTS AFTER DARK: EPISODE 82 - REAL ACTUAL JAADOO

It’s a solo show! I discuss my doomsday prepping, dive deep on Transcension Hypothesis, review a Bollywood movie about a mentally challenged guy and an alien, and explain how to perform the Abramelin operation. Wow!


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DEATH METAL DADS: EPISODE 18 - AMONGST THE DAD-ACOMBS OF NEPHREN-PAA (with EZRA LUX)

The Dads sit down with a young person (Mr. Ezra Lux) for a spirited discussion on shit films, shit music, shit culture, and shit people. It’s super shitty. And yet there’s so much more!

Also discussed herein: Jerking Off In The Cops’ Waffles, The Shortest Elk, What Color Are A Deer’s Antlers?, Willing To Kill For A Tank of Slurpee, Bowing Down To The Tin Lords, 14 Cobb Salads and 88 Pastrami Reubens, Questionable Banter About Sand People, Store-Brand Metamucil Chat, I Hate Necks, The Phantom Menace: Greatest Film of All Time, Beasts of The Southern Wild V: Beasts of The Southern Wild In Space, Working Out At The James, Giving Out Hand Williams, and Hanging Out With Richard Bags, Oakland Mussolini, Folk Music Fathers, Stipulations of Shelby’s Parole, Karl Sanders: Chicken Entrepeneur, 4 Minutes of Frank Mullen Breathing, “Rock You Like A Hurricane (Get Over Here!)” by Scorpion, Dead Horse Meets Stick, Patricide Tips, Reviewing Metal Albums via Cheese Puns, The Greasy, Mayonnaise-Covered Hands of America’s Youth, Eyebrows Podcasts, Cat-Fucking, Sandwich Economics, Visit Scenic Utah!, The DMD Bump, and of course, Fatherly Advice. It’s an all-time slammer-jammer!

Music:

Nile, “Barra Edinazzu"

Creedence Clearwater Revival, "Someday never Comes"

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Contact: illogicalcontraption@yahoo.com