Morphex's blogologue (Life, technology, music, politics, business, mental health and more)

Hello, ladies

So lately I've gotten around to exercising more, and since there has been some sunny days, I've also gotten a bit of a tan.

Now I might be imagining things, but it looks like I'm getting more attention from you ladies.

Which is nice, but since the situation is as it is, it would be nice if you're interested, that you send me an email, a message or something in written form.

I like a cute face, I like a nice personality.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Living (Atom feed)] [13 May 21:35 Europe/Oslo]

Norway - a land of cheap but not so good health care?

So, I've been reflecting lately, on the situation I've come into, and how I got here.

I'd say that I've had serious mental health issues since the start of my teens, and that this has impacted me in a way that my life on average hasn't been so good since then.

I'd also say that I've worked hard since maybe around being 18-20 years old, and worked hard until I got psychotic in 2009.

My company Nidelven IT was on an upwards trend financially, but after I got sick I figured the best things was to hand over the 24/7 hosting and support to another company. This was done, and although I have my doubts on whether it was a good deal financially, a lot of customers have been taken care of.

But since I got psychotic, the finances of the company have gone steadily downwards, and at this point there is little money left in the company, which doesn't give much room for marketing, sales and so on - generating new opportunities for work and growth.

At the same time, it seems to me that the mom of my kids has been deceitful and negative for my overall health and I'm now in a position that I get to see my kids 4 hours every 6 weeks.

In addition to all of this, I'm in a bit of a hole financially, since I was in court in the summer of 2015 to get a verdict on seeing my kids, as well as an evaluation of the kids mom, an evaluation I don't put trust into and I've pressed charges for false testimony. That evaluation was done by Institutt for Klinisk Forebyggende Tiltak - Ikft AS.

I guess I've always had my pride, and wanted to handle things on my own, so after I got sick I had partial sick leave, then unemployment benefits, and now something called AAP - a benefit which kicks in for a period where your work abilities and health is evaluated and clarified.

But since I've tried to make things on my own and had a low income after I got sick, the AAP from NAV is based on a low income which translates into an income of <200.000 NOK in 2016. At the same time, I got the court costs for the kids mom, which was around 80.000 and with 12% interest it is now approaching 100.000 NOK.

I think it is possible I could've been in a better place today, if I had been treated in an institution after I got sick, instead of being home with a woman that I think hurt me more than did me good.

Since the start of 2010 I've been taking medication and going to therapy, and I've worked hard to be in an OK situation today regarding my mental and physical health.

But it doesn't seem fair or right that I'm in a financial squeeze and don't get to see my kids, when I've worked hard all my life. Would it have cost more to treat me in an institution? Yes. But I think it would have been less likely that I would have been in the situation I am today, and the kids would have had more contact with a parent that does have their best interest at heart.

I also don't know the long term effects of having been in a stressful relationship and situation and taking medication that does have negative long term effects.

If anything, I'd recommend signing a contract before having kids, so that the other party is bound to a minimum of reasonable behaviour. And talking to a lawyer regarding medical treatment, work, sick leave, unemployment benefits and NAV.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [01 May 14:57 Europe/Oslo]

Is this war?

So, I got to see my kids this weekend, and it was nice. We had a good time and celebrated the birthday of the youngest one.

During these times with the kids, there is a person there from the state, in something called "supporting supervision". Which is something I wanted and agreed to in court, mostly because I didn't know what kind of tricks their mom could pull or stories she could cook up, with or without the help of others.

I talk a bit with the supervisor during these visits and she also talked in a war metaphor, about giving in etc. Which is interesting, because the mental health professionals that said the kids mom was "great" in court also said something like it at one point, and I believe before the problems seeing my kids started, the kids mom also used a war metaphor, saying something like "if you want war you'll get war".

Now it's interesting that the war metaphor is used. War is war, war has rules and you have to follow the law regardless.

It seems that the kids mom sees the war metaphor as doing whatever you like, even breaking the law, to reach whatever objective you have.

Before the final break up, we had an agreement that others (independent professionals) can and have verified about me seeing the kids 3 days every second weekend. But the kids mom never signed my copy, so the police in Mo i Rana wouldn't do anything when the kids mom cut me off from the kids.

In addition to that, the kids moms said that she would like to have a relationship, also a purely sexual one, before the final break-up. When I didn't want a relationship with her, things got difficult. (Long story short, me and the kids mom had problems, we went to family counselling and struck a deal on me seeing the kids, she moved, I rejected a relationship with her, she cut me off from the kids, we went to court, I got a verdict that I could see the kids, I've been seeing the kids).

So what she did was deceitful, maybe goes into the fraud category and that she abused the position she had with the kids and stopping me from seeing them, is something that persisted over a long period of time, and goes somewhere in the range of sexual harassment to attempted rape. And emotional blackmail as well.

Furthermore, I've talked a bit about this with different people, including women, and none of the women have really objected to what's going on.

So maybe something is going on or has been said about me that I haven't heard, or this behaviour and war-metaphor thinking is something that reflects the thinking of a significant segment of the female population here in Norway.

This isn't acts of war, it is simply criminal acts, made by a person that has problems interacting with the world in a way at least I see as normal.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [28 Apr 00:12 Europe/Oslo]

My first practical electronic hack

So, some time ago I figured I'd start a bit with electronics, soldering, circuit boards etc. I laid that on the shelf for a while, and now after I created that Raspberry Pi Wi-Fi router ( http://blogologue.com/blog_entry?id=1482409533X51 ) my motivation to start hardware hacking returned.

I've read up a little bit about electronics; resistors, potentiometers, diodes, voltage etc. - all in a very leisurely pace. I have bits and pieces of electronics lying around, including a Raspberry Pi / Arduino kit as well as some variants of the Arduino card.

I also have various adapters, wires and whatnot lying around after many years of consuming electronics, so I figured that I could take a DC power plug that fits in the Arduino MEGA and connect that to the power adapter that goes into the wall socket.

The DC power plug for the Arduino came from a 9V->Arduino DC power plug connector and since batteries are expensive and I might end up putting that Arduino up for some practical use, splitting the 9V connector from the DC power plug was an easy decision. Fortunately there are online webshops like dx.com and aliexpress.com that sell bits and pieces of electronics at very low prices.

So here's the 9V connector that I didn't need:



I'm going to store that in a box of bits and pieces, as I might need it again some day. I also left some wire on it so it's easy to connect to whatever later.

I also separated the plug from the wall adapter, a standard adapter that gives 5 volts and 0.8 amps, or 4W max



I also stripped the end of the wire from the adapter and twisted the wires from the DC plug and the adapter together, and put them in one of those things that can hold circuit boards etc.



Put some cardboard underneath for capturing soldering spills and soldered the wires together. Then I wrapped some office-grade tape around the soldered wires for insulation, gave them a quick heat treatment with a lighter and then wrapped another round of tape around them. It's not electrical tape but I assume it is good enough, it's not a lot of current in those wires.

OK, so here's the result of my first practical hardware hack which involves soldering:



It works and I've made good use of an adapter that probably would have been lying stored and eventually discarded (who can keep track of these adapters and their connectors anyway).

The only issue now is figuring out why the Arduino gives only 3.5V on its 5V pin; using the multimeter on the DC intake shows a bit more than 5V so it might just be that that's the way things work. I have a 5V motor I'd like to connect to the Arduino to play around a bit.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [10 Jan 13:34 Europe/Oslo]

Custom Raspberry Pi Wi-Fi router

So, I've moved to a new place, and as a result of that move, I need to get a decent setup for networking. One that gives low latency for gaming as well as high bandwidth for big Linux image downloads for example.

I have a Netgear router lying around which I could use, but I've also got some bits I've accumulated the last couple of years, like a Raspberry Pi mini-computer, a 10 metre Ethernet cable, USB Wi-Fi adapters and more.

So I opted to create my own access point, and thought that would be easy enough. Well it wasn't as easy as it should be, because the Realtek chipset has some old drivers, so I had to fiddle with patching the standard hostapd (access point app).

I ended up compiling the wpa Debian package to include the rtl871xdrv patch ( https://github.com/pritambaral/hostapd-rtl871xdrv ) and then set on to create an accesspoint using create_ap ( https://github.com/oblique/create_ap ).

The AP started up and was visible, but it wasn't possible to authenticate. So I tested things back and forth, and also considered making it an unencrypted access point with MAC address based access control, but luckily I got a response from Guan Xin on the hostap@lists.infradead.org mailing list hinting that I should turn off some capabilities to make it all work.

So I now have an access point running, and it seems to be running just fine, I get about 25 Mb/s downloading from the internet now. [Edit: That was 25 Mbit/s, not MB].

Here's how it looks:



It's maybe a bit overkill building my own router, but now I have full flexibility and control in how it should be setup, from QoS to firewalling to logging.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Technology (Atom feed)] [22 Dec 13:25 Europe/Oslo]

Not getting information on my kids

So, I have had access to a little bit of my oldest sons school information in an online IT system, but that access has been retracted now.

The principal Bente Grønningen Marthinussen at the school is referring to the verdict last year, which does give the kids mom the custody rights.

Now from what I gathered from my lawyer, granting one parent these rights is a way of dampening the conflict between the parents.

But since the verdict, I've participated a little bit in my oldest sons school activities, and I can't see I've done anything negative in that regard.

So it seems the kids mom is over time doing the one thing she has the power to do, and that is provocate using the kids as a pawn, first denying me access to the kids, then changing their last name (which used to be mine), then denying me information from kindergarten and school.

Couple this with sexual assault, sexual harassment, trying to force me into a sexual relationship, hinting that she was just using me to have kids and then using that argument against me and things are looking pretty ugly.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [13 Dec 11:01 Europe/Oslo]

Winner, winner - not - chicken dinner

I've been focusing on food, exercise and getting healthier the last couple of years, and a part of that has been going slightly flexitarian in what I eat.

So far I've eaten chicken and farmed salmon, but lately eating this kind of food has left me with a little bit of distaste, distaste for how these animals are farmed up and then slaughtered after a rather petty life.

So it fits well that I some months ago bought some frozen hens on the local megamarket, these are hens that have lived a productive life, pushing out eggs on a regular basis.

I'd say eggs and garlic are two staple foods in my diet these days, and I do feel more comfortable with a mixed flexitarian diet rather than going full vegetarian, because I feel that it's easier to eat well, healthy and varied by going a bit mixed.

So, these hens cluck around their lives, put out eggs and are at some point slaughtered. And then that meat (and everything else) can be put to good use.

A picture of a couple of hens that have simmered just below boiling for some hours:



Later I'll pluck the meat off these, and freeze that, and then take everything that remains and let that simmer for at least 4 hours, let it boil down and then run it through a siv and freeze that as well.

From what I understand, there are a lot of nutrients in what remains, and it feels right to be able to make use of everything. It's a bit of a contrast to what most people do here in Norway, which is buy minced minced chicken meat, filets and so on. That's fine I guess, but with my approach, I make good use of an animal that hasn't just been brought up and fed to then be slaughtered.

I can't tell how these hens have been treated though, I guess that's on of my next goals in ethical eating - making sure that the animals I eat have been treated well enough.

As for chicken raised just for slaughter and fish raised in pens just for slaughter - I think the treatment they often get is questionable, and as for fish raised in pens, the effects on their surrounding environment can't be all positive, as has been seen on thick layers of sediment below then pens, as well as fish escaping from the pens and mixing with the local fish. I think I'll be buying more fish that has been roaming freely and then caught as well.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [02 Nov 00:58 Europe/Oslo]

An OGG/Vorbis player, implemented in Javascript

So, I've had a productive week(end), and after some fiddling over the last couple of months, I've managed to create a Javascript demuxer/decoder of OGG/Vorbis files. :)

It's located here:

http://blogologue.com/player/

Long story short, it runs in some browsers, as mentioned on the page. I think this is very cool, and it is nice to see that I've managed to make some practical use of the C programming I've been dabbling with the last couple of years.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Web (Atom feed)] [16 Oct 08:40 Europe/Oslo]

A nice 12-0 round of jet fighting

So I got a nice streak playing this evening:

http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf4/battlereport/show/1/784...

I was off to a bit of a rough start, with an enemy jet attacking me around my base, and my AA was oblivious to this so I thought "OK, this is not going to be a good round".

But it ended up being quite good, in terms of K/D. Still getting used to the gamepad and analog sticks, as I've had to change from keyboard+mouse because of a tennis elbow.

I'm still looking to get more of an edge on the really good jet players, for example making use of the outside (and reverse) view - but changing to gamepad has been good as in, it makes me more positive towards trying different tactics and styles of playing.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Battlefield 4 (Atom feed)] [06 Oct 23:34 Europe/Oslo]

Revenge is a dish best served cold

So, I was with the kids a couple of weeks ago, we had 4 hours together and had a good time. However, at the hand-off of the kids, the kids mom and I ended up in a discussion about various things - and she referred to my blog as "that damned blog". Obviously she doesn't like that I'm writing about what's happening, and that is understandable because it can make her look bad, interfere with her plans and so on.

Now, I've blogged various things about the situtation about not seeing the kids, and I thought I'd give a summary / repetition about what has happened over a long period of time, and fill in some extra information.

So, first thing is first. I met the kids mom maybe around 2007, and my first son was born in October 2009. Around the time of his birth, I got some medication from my doctor, and also became psychotic (with among other things, hallucinations). Since the start of 2010 I've been taking anti-psychotic medication, and most of the time I've also gone to therapy, seeing psychiatrists and psychologists.

In 2010, we moved to my hometown, Trondheim, and lived there for 3 years. During this period, things were going better for me, I was working a bit, taking the oldest son to kindergarten, playing with him and so on.

But also in the same period, the relationship between the kids mom and I deteriorated, and in the start of 2013, she went back to her hometown, Mo i Rana.

In the deteriorating period, we went to family counselling together, and the kids mom also went there by herself. But that didn't help. So when we broke up in the start of 2013, we made an agreement at this counselling office, that I should get to see the kids 3 days every 2 weeks.

[Edit: Added paragraph]
Over a period of years, I have not gotten to see the kids as often as I wanted to, and I've been in contact with the police among others regarding this.
[/Edit]

However, the kids mom never signed my copy of that agreement, so later on the police wouldn't do anything about it. Here is an email thread where the family counselling office verifies that we were in agreement on how things should be regarding me seeing the kids:

http://blogologue.com/referat_fra_meklingstime.pdf

So in the period from January 2013 to May 2013, things were a bit back and forth, and when the kids mom left in May 2013, I made it clear that I did not want to be in a relationship with her.

I think before that final no from my side, we had made an agreement that I would come up some weeks later to help take care of the kids while someone in the kids moms family had a coming-of-age ceremony. I was there at that ceremony, and sat opposite the kids mom. She looked as if she had a very strained, doll-like smiling face, while you could see in her eyes that she was sad and angry.

Her parents were present as well, and took care of the kids until I figured out it was better to be wandering around with the oldest son to avoid dealing with the kids mom and that weird situation.

Anyway, during that visit in Mo, the kids mom came in one morning and touched me in an intimate place, even though I made it clear that I didn't want any kind of relationship. Maybe in a timespan of a couple of months before that, the kids mom more or less said that she would like just a sexual relationship.

So, maybe the same day or the day after this morning incident, the weird mood at the ceremony and all this, I got upset and used a loud voice to make it clear that this was something I didn't accept. As I was angry and said different things, the kids mom fiddled with the phone as she was recording something, if I remember correctly, she also purposely sounded stressed or scared during this argument.

So I feel she did a lot of things to aggravate me, and then either did record something that was a misrepresentation of the situation - or just pretended to.

Fast forward a couple of years, I'm now getting to see the kids on a regular basis, but the kids mom is still denying me visits to the kindergarten and school to see the kids, and she doesn't give any reason as to why.

But then, at the last visit to see the kids, at the hand-off, she said something along the lines of "at the school they don't have anyone who can keep an eye on you" - as if I could be a threat. I'm not a threat, and the following document shows that there are two things I've been diagnosed with during my treatment, and that is a psychosis and an anxiety disorder:

http://blogologue.com/skann-av-uttalelse-fra-helsevesenet.jp...

I can add that this was said in front of the kids, and I don't know what the oldest son got of the conversation, but that also is not a good thing. The kids mom has been offered to talk with my therapists before and has done so, and it could have been arranged this year as well.

So I'm starting to think that either the kids mom had a plan and is now caught in her own web and doesn't know exactly what to do, or she is a psychopath or something along those lines. I think that she all the way has had a wish and a plan to live in Mo i Rana, and has been working towards that.

As for myself these days, I'm doing OK. I'm no longer that suspicious of women and no longer see their flirting and attempts at seducation as something negative.

Now, finally I'd like to add that I think criminal acts, mental illness and so on are mostly private matters. The reason I'm mentioning them here is that it is relevant, because I want to have contact with my kids and ensure they are doing well and become good people. There is also a bit of revenge from my side in this, and that's because I've been very upset and angry about this situation for a long time, and the one thing that made the situation bearable was that I was going to get the kids mom for what she did - by telling it in public.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [05 Oct 21:44 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, I talked with my oldest sons contact teacher last school year, about coming to visit my son at school, see how things are etc. I was under the impression that this was OK. On my last visits to see my kids, I've been talking to my oldest son about coming to visit his school and he has been excited about this.

However, now my son has gotten a new contact teacher, and I got an email from the school principal today that I couldn't come visit him after all, and they refererred to the verdict from the court.

Now I'm assuming the kids mom has dropped by with the verdict, and has actively worked to stop this visit, because she did the same when it came to me visiting my youngest son in kindergarden.

I really don't know what to say about this, except that I'm not shocked that this has happened.

I think it's worth mentioning that this week I started getting heavy pains due to what seems to be a tennis elbow, and this after I started getting treatment and exercises because of an accident last year. An accident I'm not sure was entirely an accident.

Now, this is not much in itself, but I think it's worth mentioning that the response from the school principal came one week after I sent them an email, and that the accident last year happened one week before the first time after the verdict that I was going to see the kids without the kids mom meddling in, with a supervisor.

Now this may all be coincidental, but maybe a year or two before I and the kids mom made the final break-up, her dad drove up to me one summer and said 7 and nothing else. He has also given me the impression that he knows well there is something called "affekt" in Norwegian law, where a crime has been committed under what one can call heavy emotional influence can get a lower prison sentence than one done with consideration first.

[Update, 21st of September]

OK, so I've asked the principal at this school, Bente Grønningen Marthinussen, if she could verify that it was in fact the kids mom that dropped by with the verdict, and if the kids mom gave her the entire document, or just the verdict itself. As the entire document contains sensitive information which can affect many people, I think that's a fair question.

The principal refuses to give an answer, and has several times referred to the initial document/email which says I can't visit my son at school. I guess she can do that, and I can blog about it.

Anyway, it's going to be difficult to tell the oldest kid that his mom has refused me visiting him at school, as that was something he was looking forward to.

The kids mom has stopped responding to written emails and messages entirely, and I'm not going to call her as I suspect she'd twist that call into something it wasn't, and I can't legally record it either.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Sep 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with DnB special engagement (Spesialengasjement) operations

So, because of illness my income has dwindled down the last couple of years, and I haven't quite kept pace with the downgoing income, I used some credit cards, and now have accrued a little bit of credit card debt.

Now I like to keep my commitments, so even though I don't have a lot of income today, I would like to maintain my debts. So I've asked the credit card issuer that I only pay the interest on this debt, until I'm into a better financial situation, but they have declined that offer, and want me to pay about double of that, each month.

This is even though I after deducting the rent for my flat, I have less money to spend than what the state limit for forced money collection is. So in other words, if I defaulted on the debt and let things just slide, I would ultimately have more money in my pocket than with this deal they're offering.

I asked for the name of the person who is responsible for what they're saying and offering, but they did not give a name, just said that the responsible department was special engagement (Spesialengasjement) operations.

Now this is a bit annoying by itself, but when I see that the state wants to collect double of the child support they used to, but don't have a right to, and I got a notice this week that my application to postpone the next student loan payments was rejected, it adds up. And next week I have a meeting with the state agency NAV, my doctor and so on about what happens next on my path to being back to work again. I can add that the student loan organization is also a state agency, and that they get information about my income and status from the other mentioned state agency, NAV.

Not to mention that I've started on medication for pains as well as exercises to train up my neck related to my accident last year, and the insurance company is declining to pay for these appointments with the chiropractor.

If you add all these up, it starts to suck as a lot of negative things are happening at once.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Aug 11:02 Europe/Oslo]

In the belly of the Norwegian kafkaesque bureaucracy

So, I'm paying some money for child support for my kids, not because I want to, but because I'm forced to. These payments are deducted from my income automatically.

Now I see myself as a responsible man and do feel responsible for my kids, but paying more than I should, when I barely get to see my kids, doesn't seem, or feel, fair.

So I applied to get this child support reduced, but it was instead increased. It was increased, because I had some temporary income this summer from my company Nidelven IT, because I had to do some required-by-law accounting and tax-related work. Now I get my main income from the state, and I have to report work hours to the state. These work hours are then deducted from my payments. So if I get 3750 per week from the state and work 5 hours, that is reduced to 3250. I got about as much in payments from Nidelven IT these summer months as I lost in my regular income.

I made this clear on the application form to the state, that these payments from Nidelven IT were temporary and a compensation for the other lost income, but they managed to make it a regular, recurring income, and because of that increased my child support. I was left with the option of sending in a complaint which cost around 1000 NOK (~110 EUR), but I will not send in a complaint, I will rather send in a new application and make this blog post my complaint. You can talk about people nickle-and-diming you, but here it is the state, when I don't have a lot of income.

The case workers there were Erling Noste (office boss) and Eivor Merete Høgli (case worker).


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [26 Aug 02:58 Europe/Oslo]

Got a letter from the county governors office

So I was a trial to get to see my kids with supervision (partly to keep the kids mom at bay), and to get mental health professionals to review the kids mom, as I've seen quite a bit of negative behaviour from her, ranging from not signing an agreement about seeing the kids so that it wasn't legally binding, to manipulation and agressive acts.

I have it documented that we did agree on me seeing the kids 3 days every 2 weeks.

However, and this is my side of the story, after I rejected the kids mom when she still wanted to be in some sort of intimate relationship, it became difficult to see the kids.

So in this letter I got, which rejects my appeal on getting financial support to cover the kids moms court costs, there are a couple of things that don't seem right to me.

Because I've been sick, I'm now on a support plan from the state which doesn't give me much income, and because of that, it will be difficult for me to pay the court costs from the trial that was.

And because it will be difficult to cover the court costs, I might not get another change to go to court for some years, to get more time with the kids and another review of the kids mom.

In the trial that was, there were mental health professionals that reviewed the kids mom, and they found no narcissistic or sociopathic traits. And this was repeated in court when the judge asked the appointed mental health professionals, that this was the case. And this had been a subject before the trial. After discussing this online and with mental health professionals, my understanding is that it is unlikely that a person doesn't have at least one trait in either the sociopathic or narcissistic category. And I don't think they're incompetent, so it is likely that they lied.

So I'm now in a situation where I get to see my kids 4 hours every 6 weeks, and this is depressing and difficult. You can say what you want about a life with or without kids, but once you get attached to them it is heartbreaking to not be able to spend time with them. And because it is heartbreaking and depressing, it affects my well-being.

The letter states that I have and will have enough income for things like a place to live, food, necessities and this is true. But it also says that I'm already planning a new trial, and they can't put me in a position where I get myself in further debt. So basically, they won't cover my existing court costs because they assume that I will put myself in further debt with a new court case.

I find that as a bit of a strange argumentation, and the whole paragraph that states this convoluted.

Now, they also say in this letter that they understand that the situation can affect my mental health, and this is also true, but they have not taken into account that I am winding down on anti-psychotics, and that this medicine over a longer time perspective can have side effects such as diabetes and heart problems. So in fact, this whole situation is having a direct impact on my physical health.

I find it interesting that the letter also states that there wasn't found anything wrong with the kids moms ability to take care of the kids, when documentation about her lack of response to several emails regarding seeing the kids more and sharing the costs for my travels to see the kids were attached to the case.

If I put a cynical and negative look at what they're saying, they're basically saying that it doesn't matter if the kids mom screwed you over, she can take care of the kids. But not letting your kids see their other parent when they express that they want to see the other parent, and not cooperating around such a simple thing as costs that have arised from travelling to see the kids, when the law states that these costs should be shared between parents according to income, shows that the kids mom doesn't do what's best for the kids, and therefore is neglecting the kids!

It should be added that my lawyer has applied to get the court costs covered, and I think that was at the county govenors office as well, but I have not received any feedback regarding whether that was accepted or not. Which is strange.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [12 Aug 01:36 Europe/Oslo]

Insurance company Gjensidige, case worker Stein Rønning

So I've had a meeting with my old chiropractor regarding the fall I had on a bus last year, and she did find some stiffness in my neck. I have not been treated for neck issues earlier. I have a new appointment with the chiropractor and will get some documentation on the whole situtation.

Interestingly enough, I've told this to Stein Rønning at Gjensidige insurance company, but they are saying that they will only cover the immediate medical costs from the accident.

So I took at look at their home page, and took a screenshot. At the end there it says that "Our vision is to know our customer best and care the most". Does that mean that they care about their customer the bus company and their interests only? As a victim of an accident or something worse, am I a customer or an opponent?



Oh I took a look at their Twitter account, and their header image is of a group of people known from the Norwegian series "Olsenbanden" (the Olsen gang) - a criminal gang that does various things to get money. I'm not sure what message they're trying to convey with that?



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [11 Aug 12:06 Europe/Oslo]

Fusilli, mushroom (cremini), garlic

So, in my quest to find cheap and nutritious food, I did some research and created a new dish today. It consists of Fusilli durum wheat pasta, brown italian mushroom aka. cremini/champignon (or in Norwegian, sjampinjong) and garlic.

Now, from what I've gathered on the net, corn products contain a lot of protein, but not a lot of the amino acid Lysein. And there's a lot of Lysein in said mushroom.

I'd say that garlic is becoming a staple food in my kitchen, as it it spicy and strong raw or sweeter but still tasty when cooked. I can add it to just about any dish and it works.

So, what I do is peel the garlic, divide it up in reasonably sized pieces for faster cooking and fry that and the mushroom first, in olive oil. Now when I say fry, I mean having it on an electrical stove on a 2 of 6 setting until the garlic is easily dividable and soft.

I think food is better if you spend some more time on it, and using a relatively low heat setting and starting the cooking an hour or two before eating is a good thing.

So, after the garlic and mushrooms have been fried, I pour them over into a bowl, and then boil the Fusilli until its done. Then I pour the vegetables back into the pot, let it heat a bit and pour it back into the bowl.

So, half a garlic, about 100 grams of mushroom and 120 grams of Fusilli makes this dish, and I think it tastes nice.



[Permalink] [By morphex] [Food (Atom feed)] [08 Aug 14:59 Europe/Oslo]

Fixing up an old blog, transparent PNG embedded in Python code

So I've been fixing up on my blog lately, adding some iframe and javascript code, as well as backend code, to make it play my playlist from SoundCloud automatically.

This blog is running on Zope 2, and the blog software was written by me.. it's not been maintained well though, so I've been fixing up some minor things here and there.

One of the things I needed to fix was that on the search page, some images were referenced that for some reason wasn't approved by the weblog layer, and raised old-style HTTP authentication boxes.

So I figured I'd fix this in an easy and quick way. I created a new image in The GIMP, 1x1 transparent, and saved it as a PNG with as little metadata as possible and level 9 compression.

Looking at the file afterwards in Python, it looks like this:

-rwxrwx---+ 1 Morphex None 117 aug 2 14:26 1x1_transparent.png
-rwxrwx---+ 1 Morphex None 68 aug 2 14:36 1x1_transparent2.png

Morphex@Morphex-PC /cygdrive/C/Users/Morphex.Morphex-PC/Documents
$ python
Python 2.7.10 (default, Jun 1 2015, 18:17:45)
[GCC 4.9.2] on cygwin
Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information.
>>> f=open('1x1_transparent2.png')
>>> f.read()
'\x89PNG\r\n\x1a\n\x00\x00\x00\rIHDR\x00\x00\x00\x01\x00\x00\x00\x01\x08\x06\x00\x00\x00\x1f\x15\xc4<MY BLOG LAYOUT LINE BREAK>
\x89\x00\x00\x00\x0bIDAT\x08\xd7c`\x00\x02\x00\x00\x05\x00\x01\xe2&\x05\x9b\x00\x00\x00\x00IEND\xaeB`\x82'
>>>

I updated the IssueDealerWeblog code to return this:

    security.declarePublic('image')
    def image(self, id=None, REQUEST=None, RESPONSE=None):
        """Returns an image related to the published issue."""
        result = self.catalog_search(id=self.get_published_ids(),
                                        get_local_image_ids=id,
                                        meta_type='Issue')
        if result:
            return base.base.image.im_func(self, id=id, REQUEST=REQUEST, RESPONSE=RESPONSE)
        else:
            RESPONSE.setHeader('content-type', 'image/png')
            RESPONSE.setBody('\x89PNG\r\n\x1a\n\x00\x00\x00\rIHDR\x00\x00\x00\x01\x00\x00\x00\x01\x08\x06\x00\x00\x00\x1f\x15\xc4<MY BLOG LAYOUT LINE BREAK>
\x89\x00\x00\x00\x0bIDAT\x08\xd7c`\x00\x02\x00\x00\x05\x00\x01\xe2&\x05\x9b\x00\x00\x00\x00IEND\xaeB`\x82', lock=True)
            return

And now the search page returns without raising any authentication boxes. It's not the most purist way to just fail silently like this, but a quick fix that helps with the appearance and user-friendliness for a regular user.

[Edit: Adding paragraph..] And in case you're wondering, that image binary is released to the public domain, so you can use the Python string here anywhere. Or download the image .

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Python and web (Atom feed)] [02 Aug 14:38 Europe/Oslo]

A day in the life of..

So, life has been progressing, in a positive direction. I've blogged about being ill and different troubles, but now it looks like things have stabilized and I'm planning more for the future.

I've been reflecting the last couple of days, and although I've learned a lot in life, I also feel short-changed on the positive experiences, having lived with a diagnosis for psychosis and an anxiety disorder since 2010, but having suffered for many years before that.

So I decided some time ago that I should work to put more things into my positive experiences bag, and that also means taking care of my body (eating well, exercising) as well as doing things that feel good.

For some years now I've been changing my diet, starting with eating more fruits and vegetables. It has taken a couple of years of change and experimenting, and now I'm at a place where I enjoy eating a bowl of cooked kidney beans and white rice, along with about half a fried garlic.

Now, since I became acutely ill in 2009, I tried to keep things together and worked a bit in my own company, Nidelven IT. But things slowly dwindeled down there, and in 2013 I reached the end of the line with regard to money, and had to go ~100% unemployed. I stretched out the money and earned a lot less than before I got sick, but it was the end of the line.

Now though, after being unemployed for a while and also being on sick leave from that, I'm on the minimum support plan from the state, which doesn't give me a lot of money to work with, and I have to find ways of saving money and being frugal. I'm not sure, but I think if I had gone 100% sick from the day I became ill, I would have been in a better position now economically, so I do feel short-changed by the state for trying to make the best of things.

Anyway, as I've been changing my eating habits and getting better from my illness, I feel that eating healthy is nice, and I feel it as well, that the mood is more stable and see that my body is shedding some weight.

I've been following Paul McCartney on Twitter, and he's an advocate for Meat Free Monday, which has a website with vegetarian food.

Now I'm not going to jump into it and go fully vegan, but I think that it is generally a good idea, because less animals will be bred and kept for food, which is good for animal welfare, and more food will be available as it takes a lot of feed to generate 1 KG of meat for example.

So I experimented a bit, and found that about 200 grams of cooked kidney beans and 150 grams of cooked white rice as well as some fried garlic, was a good combination. What I like about this meal in particular is that it leaves me full, but not sluggish. I feel good after eating a meal like that.

Here are some soaked, but uncooked kidney beans:



I cook them for about an hour, and the water is boiling, to make sure that a toxin that can make you unwell is destroyed by cooking at high temperature.

After boiling, I take off the lid and continue at a low temperature, until most of the water has vaporized. I bag these kidney beans about 200 grams in each bag and put them in the freezer, and I like the idea that as much nutrients as possible go along with it (and aren't washed out in the cooking water), and it's easier to fill the bags with a little bit of water each that way.

I'm not a nutritional expert, but from what I gather, the protein combination from the beans and the rice combine well, to make a complete essential protein source. Which is important, as I don't want the strength exercise to go to waste and need protein. And it makes it a real alternative to for example meat.

I've got a whole salmon thawing in the refrigerator as well, and I'll be posting some pics and the recipe for that later today, it's my own recipe and I think it works quite well. :)

[Edit: Later the same day..] The salmon has thawed enough that I could put it in the pan in pieces:



I bought some salmon for about 5 $ per kilo a while ago, which is cheap, and it's been lying around in the freezer. I'm not that good at creating filets yet, so I'll just let them simmer long enough that I can pluck all the edible parts off. I put a dash of oil in the bottom of the pan, and I'm hoping there will be some run-off as well which I can put in the soup.

Now this is farmed salmon, salmon that has been raised in a small pen out in the sea. As far as animal ethics go, the fish does have some intelligence and feelings, so I'm not sure how much of a life it is swimming around in a small enclosure and being fed pellets. They can't tell us.

I like fishing, but I think that's fairly morally balanced as the fish I catch is going after my lure. If that lure had been a real fish, a big fish would've tried to eat a much smaller fish, but instead it ends up being my dinner. Which is ironic, but fair. I also expedite the fish I catch as soon as I can, with a quick stab and twist in the skull to put an end to the suffering. The way fish eat each other is fairly gruesome if you think about it, they swallow something alive and then it suffocates in their stomach.

[Edit: Even later in the day..] Alright. So I started making the soup itself, first I started off with a litre of almost skimmed milk and two litres of water:



And after that, I added a dash of olive oil as well as some corn starch (for thickness), and fish bouillon:



Two whole garlic, chopped in pieces:



I find it useful to keep all pieces fairly small, so that they take less time to cook.

Now this time I decided to go for some pre-cut vegetables, and over time I've grown fond of having frozen vegetables in the freezer. It doesn't spoil, and cooking time doesn't matter much, they thaw fairly quick:



A nice mix of potatoes, carrot, celery and I think the last component was leek.

The salmon was cooked at low heat in some oil, and ended up in a tower on a plate, plucked once. Now I could see some fish bones left, so I'm going to pluck it another time when it goes into the caserole.



The whole fish was 1099 grams, and I guess after plucking it, removing bones, most of the head etc. I was left with 900-950 grams of fish and skin, and that ended up being around half of what a similar weight in raw form would cost in the store.

My oh my. I almost forgot an ingredient that makes a big difference, green olives with red peppers!



I think these make a big difference for the taste, also if they simmer in a warm soup for maybe an hour they become quite easy to chew. This is about 200 grams of that stuff.

So to sum up the ingredients:

• 1 litre of almost skimmed milk
• 2 litres of water
• 4 cubes of fish bullion
• Appropriate amount of corn starch
• A dash of olive oil
• 0.8 - 1 KG salmon
• 2 whole garlic
• 800 grams vegetable mix
• 200 grams red pepper stuffed olives

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [19 Jul 06:52 Europe/Oslo]

All these people I have to deal with..

So I was in an accident towards the end of last year where I got a bad cut in the back of my head:

https://www.instagram.com/p/9Bd3XCKKuX/?taken-by=morphexx

There have been some different trouble since then with pain and nowadays the neck feels a bit stiff and there can be some pain here and there.

I've had a dialogue with the insurance company Gjensidige since the accident, and they keep repeating that they have closed the case, and I've also asked them to pay for a 675 NOK (~100 EUR) exam to see if I need some treatment for the neck, but they refuse to pay for it.

Oh and the case worker there is Stein Rønning.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [21 Jun 07:20 Europe/Oslo]

Dealing with the Norwegian wellfare state

So, since I've been sick for a while, I'm [edit: removed not] on a minimum economical support plan called AAP, or "work clearance money" from the Norwegian wellfare system, NAV. Which I guess is basically money you get while your health and work ability is being figured out.

I got a bit of a nasty surprise the other day though; there had been a mention of a meeting close to the summer, but after I asked about my case worker (Elisabeth Nossum) about getting AAP for the rest of the year because I need to update my tax rate, she replied that we could discuss that in "the meeting" in my doctors office on this coming Friday.

I hadn't gotten any notice of this meeting, and when I asked about when this meeting invitation had been sent, my case worker replied that there was some "technical issue" so that meeting invitation had not been sent out.

I followed up with an email to her superior, Per Olav Gundersen asking about this meeting invitation, but he was "too busy" to deal with it.

I really don't like this, because if the meeting had gone along, it could've looked like I was skipping it, and decisions could also have been made "over my head". Thus making me less credible towards my doctor, and the relationship to him is important for how my life is.

My doctor has also been asking me about anti-depressants, but what I need is to rest, eat healthy food and exercise. When I was psychotic I did agree to anti-psychotics because I was psychotic and had many unpleasant symptoms, but I really don't want to stuff more pills in my face and get a new dependency which I will have to gradually wean off, when I'm working well physically and mentally - I just need a period of rest before I start the next round of weaning off the anti-psychotics.

So, basically Elisabeth Nossum from NAV could've made me look bad in my doctors eyes, and she could also have gotten a reason to stop my AAP support, which would've forced me to do some paperwork and would've made my economical situation unpredictable. I really think this is unacceptable, and it doesn't look like NAV is going to explain their actions.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [07 Jun 13:48 Europe/Oslo]

An update on seeing my kids, court costs etc.

So, the kids mom went to the authorities a while ago, to get her court expenses covered, as she won the case. I didn't appeal because I got something I hadn't had before, a legally binding agreement to see my kids on a regular basis.

Anyway, out of nowhere the kids mom went to the authorities to get her court expenses covered, and I opened a letter just now detailing the verdict in this claim. Since I've been psychotic, my business has been slowly winding down etc. - I haven't had the income that I used to have, and today I get a minimum rate economical support from the state.

Anyway, the kids mom had her court expenses, and now I have to pay 500 NOK per month, on a 80000 NOK debt with a 12% annual interest. I see that the highest interest rate for a savings account in Norway is 3%, so basically the kids mom is going to get a decent return on investment maybe the coming years, as I don't see myself working a lot for the time to come.

So from being an emotionally agonizing period where I didn't get to see my kids on a regular basis, I now get to see my kids, but I also have economical pressure on me and a depressing growing debt.

I think this whole thing has been very difficult, and it has sucked a lot of energy and time from me, in an already difficult situation. I found out something interesting though, a week before my last visit to the kids, I woke up with a foggy vision and saw rainbows around light sources, and from what I've googled on the net, it looks like it could be from an allergic reaction. Wind the clock back some months, and I also had a very nasty accident on the bus which split open the skin on the back of my head, a week before seeing my kids.

So I think that I haven't only been played by the kids mom, I think others may have contributed as well, and that in a period where I've been treated (going to therapy, taking medication) for psychosis and an anxiety disorder.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [04 Jun 04:42 Europe/Oslo]

Call from the police

So a short while ago, I got a call from the police, because the kids mom had contacted them, as she found my blogging "uncomfortable" (my wording).

I told the police that what I'd blogged about the court case, seeing my kids, etc. was true and correct, and that almost all of what I blogged could be documented.

But, I'm going to take a pause from blogging about seeing my kids, the court case and so on, until I've talked to my lawyer about it, thought about it, talked some more to the police and seeing if anything comes from the kids mom and her lawyer.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [10 May 14:50 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, yesterday I got a unpleasant surprise when I opened a letter at my mom's place, as the kids mom had gone to the authorities, to force me to pay for her expenses on the court case we were in regarding the kids.

So I'll have to go through a process documenting my income, expenses and belongings so that her claim can be fulfilled.

My understanding from my lawyer was that expenses regarding the trial would go via him, and we've sought to cover both my expenses and the kids mom's expenses from the state.

As far as I know, the kids mom is well off financially, with an above average income and millions of kroner (NOK) in fortune.

Since the summer 2013 I've had significant expenses for seeing the kids, and the law is that these expenses should be divided between the parents, according to income. I don't have much income, as I've been sick for a long period of time.

Expenses for me seeing the kids was something the kids mom and her lawyer agreed to find a deal on, after the day in court, after the judge had left the room. I think that since the day in court, I have not heard or seen one constructive thing regarding expenses for me seeing the kids.

So I think this shows a couple of things. Either my lawyer has made a mistake, or the kids mom is stepping over a line. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids mom did step over a line, as she has been been threatening, harassing and assaulting in the past.

To make things more interesting, I thought my last visit with the kids went well, and asked the supervisor from the state if she saw any reason why the kids mom should be present in the house, on a text message after the visit. She has responded to my earlier SMS messages, but this time she did not give any reply and that's been almost 2 weeks now.


[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [21 Apr 11:50 Europe/Oslo]

Struggling in the Norwegian welfare state

So it's been a while since I got severely ill, and since then I've struggled to make things and ends meet. I thought things were getting good and was looking forward to the spring and summer, but this Easter an old substitute tooth loosened and took with it some of the foundation, and it feels like the foundation is cracked as well.

The cracking has me a bit worried, as I don't know if it can cause sores or infections (I talked briefly with some professionals today).

Anyway, since I've been sick, medicated and everything for a while, I'm not getting a lot of money from the state to get by, and in addition to that, they want me to pay child support for my kids, even though I only get to see them 4 hours every 6 weeks, and are forcing me to pay money now.

I stopped by the state service today (NAV) to get some help sorting out financing fixing the tooth, and even though I had things written down, things still seemed difficult for the clerk helping me out, so I got tired of it and basically asked for a written response to my written request and documentation. I later sent an email with price quotes.

It feels like some sick joke, that I have to make by with little income and then struggle when I get a problem with my teeth that could lead to complications. In addition to that I'm working on getting off the medication (but have paused that for now because of all this) and I don't get to see my kids.

How much shit is a person supposed to take? I've paid my taxes.

[Later same day..] Now I went to check on my clothes in the dryer, and the dryer was off and the clothes were dry. I heard it starting up earlier..

It seems many small things are not going my way these last couple of weeks.

[Later same day..] Clothes were NOT dry.

[Even later same day..] I emptied the water container before starting it up, and it is almost brand new. I'm not sure if it is a failure, some clown having fun, some clown doing something he or she shouldn't be doing or somebody asking someone to do something.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Health (Atom feed)] [31 Mar 18:22 Europe/Oslo]

More on seeing the kids

So, I got to see my kids this 27th of February, following the visit the kids every 6th week agreement laid down by the court.

After seeing the kids, the state supervisor said that the kids mom wanted some changes in the schedule, to accomodate holidays I presume. To be on the safe side, I've contacted my lawyer about it and I'm waiting for a response there.

But it is now about 2 months since I contacted the kids mom via email, as I want to see the kids more, and the oldest kid has expressed that he wants me to visit more often. This last time I visited the kids, they both said that they wanted me to visit in kindergarten / school as well.

So the kids mom doesn't want to communicate to me on email about seeing the kids, but she can communicate via others to get changes in the schedule for me seeing the kids.

That's interesting enough, but this morning I was thinking about the trial again, and the report from the court-appointed mental health specialists. The report was very favourable towards the kids mom, and even the people from kindergarten said that me being there visiting the kids was awkward and inappropriate.

I thought the visits to the kids kindergarten went OK, but I guess I might seem a bit lethargic due to the medications I was on. I thought one of the guys there who showed me around seemed very nervous and anxious, I don't know what the reason for that was.

But, interestingly enough, a (I guess close) friend of the kids mom works in the kindergarten, her name is Elisabeth Bjørnådal and the kindergarten is Mjølan barnehage. It might be that she has coloured the perception of me there, or that someone has pulled some strings to get the kindergarten to say what they did to the court appointed mental health people.

In the break-up period with the kids mom, I remember though that the kids mom said something along the lines of me just using her to have kids to this Elisabeth. On the other hand, for example my mom has said to me that she thought that I was just sad about the break-up etc. - same as the mom of the kids mom said to the court appointed mental health professionals.

So it seems that there may be different perceptions of me in this whole thing, and I'm not sure who's mostly responsible for that but there is an obvious person or group of persons that could have something to do with it.

[Permalink] [By morphex] [Family (Atom feed)] [16 Mar 05:09 Europe/Oslo]