There you have it, from the horse’s mouth (or its south end): “Carbon capture and sequestration” is another way of saying “No coal”.
Hey, how about we just go with NO COAL? I mean, it’s not like it was fingered as a cause of global warming over a hundred years ago, or anything.
Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one, as usual, to Donnie Drumpf, who retweeted a shitty meme and got its creator in some well-deserved hot water. Sic semper imbecilis, motherfucker. And here’s who else is in the soup this week, in no particular order:
1. Chris Fucking Christie. He declared all of Noo Joizey’s beaches off limits due to government shutdown…except, of course, the one he and his family hogged in the hopes that no one would photograph his near-naked ass on one. Sadly, it didn’t work…and now I’ve seen the photos, and I’m half blind. Thanks a lot, you fugly fuck. PS: Ha, ha!
2. Joe Fucking Ottomanelli. What kind of “joke” is it when you hand a black man a noose and tell him to lynch himself? Um…it’s not. Because to be a joke, it would have to be funny. This is cruel intimidation, nothing else. Special dishonorable mention to yer lawyer, Ron Fucking Kuby, who chose to engage in a little bit of victim-blaming there. Not smart.
3. Paul Fucking Ryan. Why?
That’s why. Too busy wanking on the tweeter about brown immigrants to do anything about all the violent home-grown white men and their death-toys. Truly shameless. PS: And oh yeah, he’s also kind of a perv, because sleeveless tops and open-toed shoes threaten his fragile masculinity!
4. Howard Fucking Caplan. Serves you right trying to troll Antifa, ha ha. Next time, why not just punch yourself in the nose and spare everyone else the trouble?
5. Rosemary Fucking Carroll. Racists may accuse everyone else of lacking a sense of humor, but their “jokes” just aren’t funny. And that’s all you need to know about THIS one.
6. Ken Fucking Ham. No, dude, I don’t think a lack of “tourist services” was the problem with your Noah’s Ark theme park. Have you tried NOT pushing fundamentalist snake oil, maybe?
7. Aaron Fucking Persky. Look, yeronner: NOBODY is faulting you for considering both sides of a case. That’s your fucking JOB. The problem is that you considered a rapist’s side to be far more important than that of the young woman he raped behind a dumpster, mmmmmmkay?
8. Assaf Fucking Voll. Ha ha, how cute, reducing three thousand years of Palestinian history to a book full of blank pages. So funny, the whole world forgot to laugh! And so original, too!
9. Clay Fucking Higgins. Babbling inside the Auschwitz gas chamber about how the US military “must be invincible”? Dude, that is so wrong, it’s not even wrong. It’s just proof of why your military needs not only to get the hell out of everywhere, but why you need to stop speaking on its behalf before you embarrass it further. (Also, it was the Russian military, not yours, that conquered the Nazis. Just sayin’.)
10. Grover Fucking Norquist. Oh lord, him again. And as much as it delights me to see Steve Fucking Bannon get spanked from his own side, this fucking hypocrite is a fine one to do it. Remember that the last time I listed him he was “teaching” his daughter a cheap, mean-spirited “lesson” about paying (sales) taxes. Once more, I have to repeat what I’ve been saying for years: Capitalism needs to be shrunk to the point where it fits in a toilet…so we can flush it when it starts to stink. Or, to put it another way: Grover, you’re stankin’. Siddown.
11. Terry Fucking Buchanan. Since when do sheriffs hold prayer meetings with fundie shitbags in their official capacity? And since when do they get to lecture others on ethics with such a blatant conflict of interest? Dude, go home and pray in your closet like Jesus says to do.
12. Nikki Fucking Haley. Oh gee, you had to work on the 4th. How terrible. Why are you a public servant, again?
13. Jack Fucking Posobiec. You “retaliate” for CNN publishing embarrassing facts on an overtly fascistic Reddit troll (whom they didn’t even call by his real name)…by invading the privacy of several of their reporters? You need locking up, sonnyboy. At best, you’re not playing with a full deck; at worst, you’re going to get somebody killed. And I’m sure you’re sociopathic enough to like that idea. Hence the need for locking up. You had just better pray that no public-spirited Anon ever doxxes YOU.
14. Ted Fucking Cruz. Meanwhile, ol’ Teddy Boy is trying desperately to stay relevant. And, seeing that the screaming shitbirds of the Internet have latched on to HanAssholeSolo (nice monicker, Redditroll) as their new hero, so has he. And now he’s trying to smear CNN as carrying out “theft by extortion”…for committing a semblance of journalism and publishing a story that doesn’t even mention the troll by his real name. What diploma mill gave you your law degree, Ted? You should give it back and demand a refund. You are clearly dumber than dogshit. PS: Ha, ha!
15. Derek Fucking Fildebrandt. Why?
That’s why. A harmless teleprompter-reading flub, and suddenly every cattleless cowpoke in Alberta thinks that the first PM Trudeau that they loved to hate is back again. And so is the chip on their collective shoulder. Get the fuck over yourselves, you big fuckin’ babies. You’re already a national joke. Do you want to be an international one, as well? Because that can be arranged…
16. Manfred Fucking Scheuer. Newsflash: Pro-Palestinian activism is not antisemitism. But then again, this is Austria, where they have a long history of the real thing, particularly in the Roman Catholic church. No wonder this bishop isn’t clear on the concept.
17. Lindsay Fucking Lohan. Washed-up child star says WHAT? Oh girl, STOP. Go back to whatever you were doing before, even if it’s cocaine. Stay out of politics, because you know fuck-all about it. How can you urge trust in a man who overtly fantasized about fucking 18-year-old you?
18. Brad Fucking Wall. Biggest cowflop in Saskatchewan says WHAT? Oh dude, STOP. Omar Khadr is innocent, and Canada was dumb enough not to protest his torture and imprisonment in Gitmo. We OWE him, you fucking fool. Now. Don’t you have a province to look after, or anything?
19. Alex Fucking Jones. Oh lordy, some dumb pigoon has been reading Margaret Atwood…and mistaking Oryx and Crake for nonfiction. Also, how does one get a “humanoid” that’s not just a mathematically impossible “80% pig, 80% gorilla”…but apparently, 0% human?
20. Steven Fucking Marks. Dude. Isn’t 32 a bit old to be writing graffiti? And isn’t that kind of a dumb way to try to frame people who won’t be arrested anyway, because they’re not dumb enough to deface school playgrounds? You been eatin’ stupid sandwiches, son.
21. Brady Fucking Toensing. Oh surprise! His claim that Jane Sanders — Bernie’s spouse — committed fraud turns out to be false! And politically motivated. Given that he’s a Drumpfite, gee…what were the friggin’ odds?
22. Steve Fucking Green. Stolen Iraqi artifacts…how Christian! And this is the same Hobby Lobby that opposes women’s rights and gay rights. You can now also add the cultural patrimony of Iraqis to the rights they oppose. And this was not just one or two pieces, but over 5,000 of them. Shady as fuck? You’re goddamn right it is.
23. Gavin Fucking McInnes. Big boos to CBC for giving him the platform to let his racist flag fly. On the plus side, though, he made a complete ass of himself. And now people are going to be side-eyeing his fascist fraternity from coast to coast…to coast. Ha, ha.
24. John Fucking Sprovieri. And speaking of racist flags, how about this guy? He’s just a lowly Brampton city council member, but damned if he isn’t a white supremacist himself. Maybe he should start wearing hooded sheets in the council chamber, so everyone is constantly reminded of just what “values” he really represents, eh? PS: Looks like the mayor of Brampton has also spoken, and made a little recommendation. Ha, ha.
25. Eric Fucking Greitens. Oh, you thought St. Louis’s higher minimum wage was “killing jobs”? That’s cute, Gubnor. Just wait till you see how many jobs a boycott of your cheap-ass state is gonna kill, in addition to all these minimum-wage workers suddenly no longer having enough money to live on. It’s gonna make your cowardly wuss move the last thing you ever do in an offical capacity.
26. Rick Fucking Perry. And speaking of goober gubnors who know nothing about economics, how about ol’ Crotch Goodhair? He thinks that if you put a supply out there, “the demand will follow”. Which is literally the reverse of everything that happens in every economy EVER.
27. Andrew Fucking Auernheimer. Yo, Nazi-boy: You are NOT “the real media”. You are a convicted criminal and a fascist hothead who can’t even get the most basic facts right (because it would interfere with your victim narrative), but you’re out there threatening actual journalists doing their actual job. Newsflash: That’s stochastic terrorism. And if anyone gets hurt because of you, you can be held criminally responsible. Just sayin’.
28. Mike Fucking Pence. Everybody sing! Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind. Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?
29. Sarah Fucking Palin. Congratulations, Quitbull, you and the Young Cons (aptly named!) figured out the secret Nazi code that Donnie was dog-whistling to all his idiot followers. Too bad you’re still not gonna get a job in one of his crap hotels, eh?
30. Mark Fucking Penn. Imperialist shitferbrains sez WHUT? Oh, that the world needs MOAR Hillary Clinton? Uh, no, the world has had quite enough of her. In case you forgot, she and her husband wrecked all the things the “left” (really, just the Democratic wing of the Democratic party) want back. A right-wing — oh sorry, “centrist” — image makeover is the last thing the party needs. What they need is to start being FOR something, again…even if it means reinstating all the things Hill and Bill were against.
And finally, to the entire fucking Kardashian-Jenner clan. This has been their week to flash ass, no doubt about it…from the bad makeup, to the tacky-ass t-shirts superimposing their totally-NOT-iconic faces onto people who ARE famous for a reason, to the grotesque (and quite illegal) baby-mama revenge porn drama, to the tweets, the tweets, oh the fucking tweets. Why are these garbage people and all their trashy adjacents famous, again? Hell if I know. I just can’t wait for the rest of the world to be as sick of their shit as I am.
Good night, and get fucked!
Oh dear. Looks like somebody isn’t ready for prime time…
The Proud Boys have shamed Canada’s military.
At a press conference Tuesday afternoon, rear admiral John Newton apologized for the behaviour of five six Armed Forces members who disrupted an Indigenous protest on Canada Day.
“I’ll stand here in front of you and apologize to the Aboriginal community, to anybody, the entire public community,” Newton said. “We can do better as a system.”
[…]
The self-described “Proud Boys” showed up to Cornwallis Park on Canada Day, Red Ensign flag in hand, to disrupt an Indigenous ceremony that was being held to commemorate the genocide of First Nations peoples.
Newton says he was made aware of the incident by those who contacted him directly over social media, as well as from the outcry of his Indigenous friends and fellow Armed Forces members.
[…]
Tuesday marks the second apology Newton has had to make in recent weeks due to Navy members disrespecting First Nations peoples. In late May, a sailor on the HMCS Fredericton interrupted a graduation ceremony for participants in the Canadian Armed Forces Aboriginal entry program with a “war cry.”
…or for their close-up, Mr. DeMille:
A CBC interview ended awkwardly on Wednesday after a controversial guest defended an 18th-century decree offering money for the dead bodies of Indigenous people.
Gavin McInnes was on “Power & Politics” to discuss the Canadian military’s decision to suspend five servicemen who interrupted a Mi’kmaq ceremony on Canada Day.
[…]
Cornwallis founded Halifax in 1749 and offered “10 Guineas for every Indian Micmac taken, or killed, to be paid upon producing such savage taken or his scalp.”
On CBC News Network Wednesday, host Hannah Thibedeau asked: “Given Cornwallis issued a bounty on the scalps of Mi’kmaq people, can you see why the Indigenous people were protesting?”
“Can you see why Cornwallis issued a bounty on Mi’kmaqs?” McInnes replies.
He was then left to rant for several minutes — mispronouncing “Mi’maq” as well as the name of Defence Minister Harjit Sajjan.
Speaking of the mispronounced minister, here’s what HE had to say about all this:
Well, that was embarrassing. And given that the so-called “Proud Boys” who heckled the Mi’kmaq demo were all pretty quick to go quiet on their previously active Facebook accounts, I’m guessing that they were not so proud after all. Surely not because of anything the admiral may have told them in private, or anything like that?
Meanwhile, a local columnist spoke for us all when he pronounced the “Boys” to be “pathetic, dumb, and dangerous”. Pathetic, because how insecure in your masculinity do you have to be to have an all-male club that forbids masturbation, requires its members to undergo a beating while reciting the names of cereals, and “venerates housewives” (because uppity women who work outside the home are all such threatening ball-busters)? Dumb, because they thought it was clever to show up with their fugly fashy haircuts to taunt local indigenous people with a “proud” endorsement of full-scale genocide while waving an obsolete flag. And dangerous, because they, who are clearly fascists, infiltrated an organization that is supposed to be standing on guard for Canada — ALL of it, not just the insecure, cisgendered, non-fapping white boys who join racist gangs and “venerate” housewives (but only the white ones!) and hurl abuse at non-white people. An organization that, during World War II, helped defeat an enemy with remarkably similar (and stupid) ideologies to those of the “Proud Boys”.
Shame on them. I hope they have to sit through a thousand compulsory history lectures for this. And if they remain in the navy, I hope they never get out of KP duty. May they scrub latrines with their toothbrushes until the day they are dishonorably discharged, and may the world laugh in their faces forever more.
No, srsly. No step on snek, because snek bite…with a bullet! Aaaand sometimes, it bite its snekky self in teh ass:
GETTYSBURG, PA – The rumor that antifa were coming to Gettysburg National Military Park to desecrate Confederate monuments there turned out to be false, but that did not stop a group of militia members from coming out, standing guard and shooting themselves in the foot – or literally in their left thigh.
According to Pennlive, a “patriot” in his twenties, later identified as Benjamin Hornberger, 23 of Shippensburg, PA, accidentally triggered the revolver he brought to the park, which was inside a leg holster, when he temporarily rested the bottom of his flag pole against the holster. Park police who were nearby when the shooting took place quickly applied a tourniquet, possibly saving his life.
The accidental discharge happened near four designated fenced areas for demonstrators. Many of the ‘patriots’, did not go into those areas immediately reportedly because their permit was suspended because of a brief rain, but instead marched around the perimeter. After the rain cleared, they were allowed in.
Later, as police were trying to unload the revolver, it went off a second time while visitors were nearby. Police say the gun was “bad” and they had a hard time getting the rounds out of the chamber. After they forced all of the rounds out of the revolver, they secured the gun.
Stoopid snek. See what happens when Teh Stoopid gets its hands on guns?
But wait. We’re not even at the funny part yet:
Several weeks ago, rumors circulated that an antifa Twitter account announced that they were going to the park to desecrate its Confederate monuments, namely its flags, but the Twitter account was one of several fake antifa accounts with no connection to antifascist groups that attempt to paint them in a bad light. The story was circulated by neo-Fascist provocateurs such as Jack Posobiec, himself a Pennsylvania native, and Cassandra Fairbanks, and was also picked up by the right wing World News Daily and Fox News, who noted in their article that a Central Pennsylvania antifa group noted on their Facebook page that the report of such an action “smelled fishy”. Ironically, some Twitter accounts were calling for antifa to be shot.
Which, of course, is where this dumb kek-snek, Ben Hornberger, comes in. He was no doubt hoping to bag a few antifascists with his crappy bang-bang gun for Jeebus, the confederacy, the flag, and all that patriotic shit. Problem is, he reacted to a blindingly obvious hoax. How obvious? Let’s take a good look at what got his side all worked up and then I’ll enumerate the ways, ‘kay?
First off, this post appeared on 4chan. Why would real Antifa members post there? Uh…they wouldn’t. They might read the forum to get a feel for what the fascists of the Internet are up to lately, but they wouldn’t post anything under the Antifa banner. Much less their intentions for the date in question. Their MO is not to take the fight to the enemy online, but on the streets. The last place they would telegraph anything is a forum known as a haven for trolls, turds…and Nazis.
Secondly, there’s the fraudulent Harrisburg 100 post, referred to by the fake-Antifa channer. Real Antifa are not given to desecrating graves. Again, not their style. Who does that? NAZIS. They do it to Jewish graves all the time. And to Jewish Holocaust memorial sites, too. The fact that no place but an obscure Facebook page reported it is hinky in and of itself. But we all know how Donnie Drumpf’s followers feel about fake news, don’t we?
Third: Flag-burning? Get out. That’s a joke. Antifa have no time for that shit. But right-wingers sure do like to charge at that waving cape with their horns down, don’t they? And little do they realize they’re being played.
Then there’s the language of the post itself. You don’t even have to be a member of any Antifa group to know what’s wrong with it. Anti-fascists do not go around calling anybody “faggots”, because (a) plenty of anti-fascists happen to be on the LGBT+ spectrum themselves, and (b) even we straight ones are not fucking homophobes. NO TRUE ANTI-FASCIST USES SUCH WORDS.
Know who does go around using that word? Yup…FASCISTS. Because they’re the ones who think there’s something wrong with being queer, and something “edgy” about using anti-gay slurs to rag on others. That’s because they haven’t a fresh or original idea under any single one of their hideous haircuts. For them, history stopped in 1945, when one of their Dear Leaders hung by his heels from a gas station roof in Italy, while another blew his brains out in a bunker in Germany. They’ve been looking for a re-match ever since. And they are the ones spoiling for a fight. It’s a fight nobody else wants, but if they insist on shoving themselves in where they’re not wanted, they will get the Dickie Spencer treatment…not knifed or shot.
And they won’t get it when they expect it, either, because that too is not Antifa’s MO.
So, now you know what’s wrong with the picture. Antifa are just not that fucking bloodthirsty. And they wouldn’t be ignorant enough to fall for such an obvious troll, either. But you know who would be that bloodthirsty and dumb? Yup…FASCISTS. And that’s exactly what the fake-Antifa troll was banking on.
As the old German saying goes: Der Fuchs ist schlau und stellt sich dumm, der Nazi macht es andersrum! (The fox is smart and plays dumb, the Nazi does it the other way ’round.)
Happy 4th of July, motherfuckers. Sic semper imbecilis.
Francis Maxwell notes a disturbing trend at the not-so-fair-or-balanced right-wing channel: Black lives, like that of Philando Castile, don’t matter to them one iota, because they never mention him. When they DO mention black people, it’s always in the context of “oh those thugs, how DARE they?” They waste a shitload of airtime criticizing the respectful, even patriotic protests of Colin Kaepernick against racism, but they never examine their own. Probably because if they could smell it for what it was, they’d all be gagging. No, better to just fume away…and project their own stinking racism onto the very people who’ve been fighting it since the day they were born.
BONUS: Guess who else doesn’t think black lives matter?
Yup, the NRA. And there’s a reason for that: They were actually FOR gun control when it was black people getting the guns to defend themselves from racist assaults.
It’s been years since I’ve listened to this record (Into the Gap, one of the best damn things to come out of the ’80s), but it’s always in the back of my mind somewhere. Funny how some things from your teens don’t really stand out so much at the time, but they sink into your consciousness like a submarine, weathering all kinds of inner storms.
Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy Canada Day to my home and native land. And an especially crappy one to Donnie, who’s just bleeding out his ears and his eyes and his wherever from that bad facelift he had. Or was it that bad scalp reduction? It’s hard to tell with Donnie, because any surgical thing he’s had done has not improved him. And here’s who else hasn’t improved this week, in no particular order:
1. Mitch Fucking McConnell. Not content to cut off the healthcare of everyone else, he’s also refusing to meet with the very group that (along with public medicine) was responsible for his recovery from polio. Is that any way to treat the March of Dimes?
2. William Fucking Todd Fucking Coontz. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how hypocritical and greedy he is. And of course, he preached the so-called Prosperity Gospel, which holds that the rich are rich because they deserve to be, and God is rewarding them for it. Well, now he’s getting HIS reward: being indicted, and forced to render unto Caesar. Ha, ha.
3. Ron Fucking Johnson. I can’t even believe that this has to be said, but here goes: PEOPLE ARE NOT FUCKING CARS. THEY ARE FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS. THIS BULLSHIT IS FUCKING IMMORAL.
4. Jeffrey Fucking Dillon. Oh surprise! He’s a ‘roided-out racist who works for a porn company and poses with Rubber Rita for his Twitter page…and that’s when he’s not busy bragging about marrying a “slant eye import” and claiming to be “rich in love”. Yup, sounds just like the kind of shill DrumpfCo needs to push its unpopular, wanted-by-no-one health “reform” bill! PS: In case you’re reading this, Jeffy-poo…women aren’t “threatened” in the slightest by male masturbation. At least not the kind that happens behind closed doors. Public wankery, on the other hand, disgusts us. No wonder you had to mail-order a bride from Asia who probably had no clue as to what you really were. Well, now she knows.
5. Andrew Fucking Scheer. Finally, after a public outcry, he distances himself from Kellie Fucking Leitch and her racist tweets. Too fucking little, too fucking late!
6. Rock Fucking Feilding-Mellen. Yes, little Tory scumbag, run as fast as you can from public criticism while Grenfell Tower still smokes and the bodies aren’t all located yet. You won’t get very far, unfortunately; Britain is a small island, and thanks to Brexit, it’s now that much smaller.
7. Inez Fucking Stepman. Who? Oh, nobody. Just some Phyllis Schlafly clonette in hipster glasses who got married yesterday and now thinks she’s dropping some Deep Politically Incorrect Wisdom on Marriage when all she’s doing is regurgitating the same “advice” women’s magazines have been giving to disgruntled wives since forever. And the sum total of it is, NO FAT CHICKS FEMINISM SUCKS GIGGLE GIGGLE AIN’T I CUTE. I suppose, on another day, I would be mildly annoyed by this tired old fetus-writes-advice-for-the-Internet nonsense, but I’m too busy catching up on my missed ZZZZZZZs. And in another five minutes, I’ll be all like “Who?” again. Because that’s just the way we old, unbothered fat chicks roll, bitch.
8. Nikki Fucking Haley. Special Snowflake sez WHAT? You wuz BOOED in Noo Yawk? Poor baby. Now you know how it feels to be queer in South Carolina!
9. Dan Fucking Picard. You’d let OD victims die to save money? Well, I guess I know what your city can do if you collapse with a heart attack or show up with cancer. You’re definitely of an age to be a high risk for both…or relapses if you’ve had ‘em before.
10. Kellyanne Fucking Conway. Willpower doesn’t work for weight loss, and it sure as hell doesn’t work on drug addiction, either. But for willful stupidity, it’s a charm! PS: It also doesn’t make spring green your color. Juuuust sayin’.
11. Justin Fucking Trudeau. Not only is he objectively pro-fascist, he’s now actually trying to convince the country that a three-and-a-half fucking kilometre sniper shot, in a country where our army ought never to have gone, is something to celebrate. On Canada Day, no less. How about a loud HELL TO THE FUCKING NO???
12. James Fucking Wiedmann. So, an all-white shindig is “a love letter to Heritage America”? That’s funny, it sure looks like a fucking bore to me. And I’m so white that I’m damn near translucent!
13. Joshua Fucking Feuerstein. Waaa, waaa, Facebook has a Pride emoji but no cross! That’s because you’ve already nailed yourself to it, you fucking moron. Get down from there, because you look like an ass and other people need the lumber!
14. Pete Fucking Olson. Meanwhile, in another corner of Right Wingnuttia, we have this guy…who’s so mean that he even begrudges his own wife healthcare, simply because something she might use is of no use to him. Well, dude, she doesn’t need prostate exams, but that’s no reason for her to abolish them, is it?
15. Paul Fucking Ryan. People will choose not to buy health insurance? Damn straight they will. When it’s priced out of reach, and it’s a choice between that and feeding themselves, what the fuck does anyone expect them to do? Stop resisting your bullshit scheme? Don’t make me fucking laugh.
16. Sarah Fucking Palin. Desperate to keep her name in the news? Yes, she is. So desperate that she’s now actually SUING the news for keeping her name in it. If only she could quit doing THAT halfway through, too…
17. James Fucking Isaac. Dude. Smashing a pane of glass at a Holocaust memorial isn’t going to wipe out what it stands for. It just makes you look as bad and as dumb as those who perpetrated the crime in the first place. But then again…I bet you’re one of those guys who think it’s clever to say things like “kek” and “cuck” all over the internet, like a fucking chicken.
18. Carl Fucking Benjamin. And speaking of dumb keks and cucks and menz that cluck: Yup, Carl of Swindon — alias Sargon of Akkad — made the cut this week. How? By sitting right in the front row as Anita Sarkeesian was speaking at VidCon. AND for expecting an “apology” from her — for “attacking” him by accurately naming him as a chronic stalker and harasser! Special dishonorable mention to the bungling idiots who let him (and assorted other InterNazis and allied scum) in. Don’t you people vet anyone?
19. Grover Fucking Norquist. Let’s hear it for the Father of the Year, folks…too cheap to buy his little daughter even a crappy guitar. Makes her save up for it herself. She finally scrapes together the exact amount, only to find out she’ll also have to pay sales tax. And then he tacks on an equally cheap, nasty “lesson” about government? Yup…he is well on his way to becoming the parent she won’t be speaking to anymore when she’s old enough to run as fast and far as her young feet will take her. Good job, Dad!
20. Matt Fucking Bevin. A “Bible Literacy” bill? I have a better idea, gubnor…how about a Treaty of Tripoli Literacy bill?
21. Marco Fucking Rubio. Mocking him is like shooting fish in a barrel, isn’t it? Nevertheless, he did kind of hand his interlocutors the ammo.
22. Piers Fucking Morgan. Same as #21, but with a British accent. Gotta love those own-goaling ammo-handers, eh?
23. Melania Fucking Drumpf. Yes, that’s right…the First Trophy made the list this week once more! And on so many levels, too: There’s her defunct (or never-existent) campaign against cyber-bullying, which her happens to be her husband’s only forte (well, that and icky sex stuff). There’s the fact that she didn’t really move into the White House after all, even though Barron is now done with his school year and that excuse is no longer valid. And then there’s the fact that she’s actually aiding and abetting Donnie’s bullying, both on and off the Internets. Does anyone in that shitty family ever make a promise that they actually keep, and which isn’t deeply and darkly shitty?
24. Alex Fucking Jones. Again with the child-slavery bullshit, this time on Mars. Tell ya what, Alex, how be we send YOU there…not to demonstrate their (non)existence, but just so no one on Earth has to be subjected to your inane babbling anymore?
25. Sarah Fucking Huckabee Fucking Sanders. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how god-awful you have to be to get the man who killed Osama bin Laden to come gunning for YOU…with the facts.
26. Christy Fucking Clark. Finally, at long last, she has left the building. And it only took a fire crew and the Jaws of Life to extricate her, too!
27. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. The Deepwater Horizon disaster wasn’t so bad for the environment? Tell that to the people on the Gulf Coast. Particularly the fisherfolks who’ve lost their livelihood because the fish and shellfish from there are all too contaminated to eat, and too few to catch.
28. Kayleigh Fucking McEnany. Donnie Drumpf, “personable”? Oh, PLEASE. There is nothing to applaud here. How about you stop whitewashing Ol’ Pussygrabber, just this once? Even if it means saying nothing at all?
29. Dana Fucking Loesch. Beat those drums for civil war all you want, racist NRA shit-shill…but when the chips come down, you’re gonna be on the losing side, just like the original Confederates. And for the same reasons, too. Just remember that.
30. Jordan Fucking Peterson. Why?
Nice white supremacist friends you got there, Jordie. Please, tell us more about how oppressed you are as an anti-PC white male who won’t use people’s stated pronouns to recognize their gender and all that shit. I hope this photo haunts you all the way to career oblivion, which is where you belong at this point.
And finally, to all the lovely, LOVELY fucking Tory senators who pissed on Mauril Bélanger’s grave this week by hating on the “clunky” gender-neutral new lyrics for O Canada. Funny how none of you objected to the idiotic makeover that the anthem got in the 1980s, when they inserted two REAL clunkers that totally warped it, in my eyes (and ears): a cliché (“from far and wide”), and theocratic overtones (“God keep our land”). But “in all of us command” is somehow “clunky” and sacrilegious and “an abomination”? Oh, fuck right the hell off. Especially YOU, Lynn Fucking “Residential Schools Were Really Good For the Kids” Beyak. Please spare us all the pious hypocrisies about “not watering down traditions” when you’re the same bunch who thought nothing of tearing indigenous children from their entire traditional society and culture to “educate” them in the ways of the white imperialist, and who resisted renaming the infamously-named Langevin Block for that very reason. You are nothing but a bunch of unevolved, obsolete dinosaurs, and frankly, you belong in the dust under Drumheller.
Good night, and get fucked!
One can’t help feeling sorry for Caitriona Perry, the Irish reporter (for RTÉ, their national radio-TV corporation) who got called up on the carpet, quite literally, by Donnie Drumpf just so he could engage in some “locker room talk” with the newly sworn in PM of Ireland at her expense. Of course, there are several things wrong with the picture:
First, the obvious: Yes, this pretty young woman looks an awful lot like Ivanka. And yes, him singling her out for attention is extra creepy for that very reason, because he’s also gotten visibly and physically inappropriate with Ivanka, in public:
Ugh, right?
Then, there’s the less obvious, which David and Pat point out in the first video: The Irish PM, Leo Varadkar, is openly gay and Indo-Irish. Meaning, he’s not the sort of guy Donnie actually wants in his locker room, because everybody knows how gay those gay guys are, right? (And how brown those brown guys are, right?) Yet he’s got to engage him in man-talk somehow, so he’s pointing out that piece of ass lovely smile on the reporter, who’s only smiling to cover her obvious embarrassment at this unwanted and unwarranted attention. The man literally knows no other mode of man-to-man talk, it seems.
And no doubt Leo Varadkar (not shown) is probably cringing and doing his best to avoid facepalming on the other end of that phone line, too. For all the above reasons and then some, because he’s going to have to be in communication with this dunce, at least for the foreseeable future.
Hey! Remember Chernobyl? If you’re over 40, chances are good that you do; to my generation, it was what Hiroshima was to my parents. And if you ever wondered why being able to do things manually is a vital skill that shouldn’t be lost, just imagine for yourselves what would be going on right now if there were no manual overrides there:
The automatic radiation monitoring system at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant was hit by a cyberattack Tuesday and monitoring was being carried out manually, according to a Ukrainian federal agency.
“Due to the temporary disconnection of the Windows system, the radiation monitoring in the area of the industrial site is carried out manually,” the agency for control of the Chernobyl exclusion zone said in a statement.
The statement also said that all “technological systems of the station operate in the normal mode,” but that “in connection with the cyberattack, the Chernobyl nuclear power plant website is not working.”
A number of companies and agencies across Europe reported that they were under cyberattack on Tuesday, including Russian oil and gas company Rosneft and Danish shipping firm Maersk. The source of the attack is not yet clear.
I don’t know what makes me want to smack my forehead harder…that some sick joker actually WANTS another Chernobyl meltdown, or that the plant is on the WinDoze system. For fuck’s sakes, people — if you can’t do Linux, at least get Macs! It’s not that they’re unhackable (no computer is), but at least they’re less vulnerable to some stupid script kiddie who thinks it would be cute to watch everyone scramble like they’re doing right now.
PS: Word’s out that there’s a ransomware bug currently making the rounds, named Petya. It’s MS-based and seems a likely candidate for the problems at Chernobyl, Rosneft and Maersk. PC owners, grab the patch and protect yourselves.
Ever feel vicariously embarrassed for someone? Watch this and you soon will:
Not embarrassed for Cenk and Ana yet? Maybe a little supplementary reading is in order, then:
The pro-Israel group accusing Chicago’s Dyke March of anti-Semitism for asking several people, including its Midwest manager, to leave, has a history of fabrications about attacks against Jews.
A Wider Bridge made global headlines this weekend with its claims about the incident in which several individuals were asked not to display “rainbow Jewish flags” at the Dyke March in Chicago’s Little Village neighborhood on Saturday.
The flags had blue stars similar to those on Israel’s flag, on a rainbow background.
The group is demanding that the Dyke March “issue a full public apology for dismissing LGBTQ Jews,” and that it engage in “a constructive dialogue about how anti-Semitism and calls for the disappearance of the Jewish state are creating an unsafe environment for LGBTQ Jews and allies.”
[…]
This is not the first time A Wider Bridge has made false accusations of anti-Semitism against Chicago activists expressing solidarity with Palestinians.
Last year, A Wider Bridge was at the center of fabrications that protesters had disrupted Shabbat prayers during the National LGBTQ Task Force’s annual Creating Change conference.
In fact, the activists protested a reception for A Wider Bridge – an Israel lobby group.
Although the Jewish Telegraphic Agency, one of the media organizations that spread the false claim, later retracted it, the damage was done.
A Wider Bridge itself helped to fan misinformation and hyperbole about what happened.
This story is taking on a familiar pattern, where A Wider Bridge’s distorted version is making headlines and setting in place a false narrative.
And that’s where Cenk and Ana come in…blundering in, sadly. They completely overlooked the fact that these are not just “LGBT Jewish flags”, carried by random queer Jewish women to show pride in their dual, queer-Jewish identity. This hasbara troll group is a front for something else entirely. They ARE a pinkwashing organization, and the Turks fell for the pinkwash by denying that it could possibly be that.
However, as the EI piece I linked and excerpted shows, this group has a history of disrupting Chicago Pride events and using them to shoehorn apologia for Zionism in, to the dismay of other queer Jews:
Caleb Wagner, a queer anti-Zionist Jewish activist, was also part of the discussions. He rejected the claim that the individuals were asked to leave because they were Jewish, noting that most of those opposing the display of the flags were also Jewish.
The objections to the flag, he insisted, were also based on its use in Israel’s pinkwashing.
Pinkwashing is the public relations strategy that deploys Israel’s supposed enlightenment toward LGBTQ issues to deflect criticism from its human rights abuses.
It often involves gross exaggerations of Israel’s progressive policies, accompanied by outright lies about Palestinians.
A recent example was the national US tour of Israel’s “first trans officer” which aimed to present the Israeli army in a favorable light to LGBTQ – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer – communities, neglecting to mention the officer’s role in Israel’s ongoing ethnic cleansing of Palestinian Bedouins.
Wagner said those carrying the flag refused to acknowledge that the symbol could have any association with pinkwashing. “They refused to acknowledge how that association with Israel – not Judaism – is not welcome in this space that is anti-colonial and pro-Palestine.”
A Wider Bridge’s Midwest manager Laurie Grauer insisted on putting forward pro-Israel arguments, Wagner said. “But that’s like coming into this space and saying you want to have a dialogue about anti-gay marriage or anti-trans,” Wagner said. “You coming into this space and trying to have a dialogue about the merits of Zionism is wrong and immoral in this space that is designed for queer people of color.”
“From my perspective, she came in there with a particular agenda to open up a dialogue about Zionism and be pro-Zionism,” Wagner said of Grauer.
None of this gets a mention in the Turks’ video, however. They only heard one side of the story…the side the hasbaratchiks wanted them to hear. The possibility that there were Palestinians in the march, or even just other Jews (who happen to be the main group objecting to Zionist crapaganda) completely eludes them. These people also exist in Chicago, and if a group looking to insert Israeli hasbara into what’s supposed to be a non-partisan event alienates them, that group MUST be removed. There is such a thing as bending too far over backwards to avoid looking like an anti-Semite, and that’s just what the Bridge of Lies group was hoping the media — and make no mistake, the Turks ARE media — would do.
It’s an easy mistake to make, but ultimately, it’s one that’s going to cost them. Especially since they’ve been leaning kind of hard on the whole “gotta be fair”, “both sides” fallacy lately. No, guys, you don’t have to be “fair and balanced”. You have to be HONEST, and tell the real story. Otherwise, you won’t be beating the mainstream media; you’ll just be yet another (yawn) mainstream media outlet. Which is not what you set out to be, is it?
