Age: 57.

Appearance: Fabulous, darling.

Let me see … she sounds like she could be a late-starting lady novelist whose risqué debut is selling like hot cakes in Berkshire and beyond? No.

Former mistress of Prince Philip? Nope.

Current mistress of Prince Philip? No. She’s the erstwhile fashion director of British Vogue.

Why erstwhile? She claims she was fired, after 36 years at Vogue and 25 years as fashion director, by new editor Edward Enninful. She reckons it took him three minutes.

That must have stung. She gave a bracingly candid interview to niche journal Vestoj in which she managed to get a few things off her chest.

Ooh, like what? Like doing a “crap” cover with Alexa Chung in a “stupid Michael Kors T-shirt” because “he’s a big advertiser, so I knew why I had to”.

What else? About the industry’s inability to nurture creative talent any more (“I’m thinking of one fashion editor in particular … he will wrongfoot you and wrongfoot you”). About how magazines used to be useful and are now increasingly irrelevant. How far people get on confidence rather than ability in a world beset by insecure people who are too scared to say when someone’s rubbish (one stylist she worked with many years ago was “just terrible. But in fashion you can go far if you look fantastic and confident – no one wants to be the one to say ‘but they’re crap’”).

Cor! Oh, and how she hasn’t actually read Vogue herself for years.

Amazing! Where can I read this stellar-sounding interview? Well, it’s a moving story.

What? It went up on vestoj.com on Monday morning and promptly came down that afternoon. Now it’s back online again with a note from the editor: “Due to the sensitive nature of this article, we took the decision to temporarily remove it from the site.”

May we infer that legal communications abounded in the interim? You may infer whatever you wish. If cease-and-desist letters are named accessory of the season in next month’s edition, then we’ll know.

Any other gossip? Having replaced Alexandra Shulman, editor-in-chief of 25 years, Enninful is likely to want to shake up the title. He pipped deputy editor Emily Sheffield, part of the magazine’s posh-girl old guard, to the role.

Is she a posh girl? She’s Samantha Cameron’s sister.

I see. England really does have only seven families in it, doesn’t it? At most. At most.

Do say: “They never have this trouble at Primark.”

Don’t say: “Whatever you want, if you’ve got a non-disparagement clause in your contract.”