Trot Wars: Sell the Paper, Build the Party

Posted on April 8, 2016 by

trot wars logo 1 lower res

Will you unite the advanced section of the working class into the one true vanguard party with which to lead the proletariat into glorious revolution?

Join us on the barricades of your table top and advance your revolutionary skills and knowledge from the comfort of your own sofa.

Create campaigns, hold public meetings, demonstrations and strikes, and sell the paper in an attempt to unite the advanced section of the working class into the one true vanguard party

Is your group’s ideology consistent or are there splitters amongst you? Will your events be hijacked by glory seeking rivals or will you be bussing the members in? Will you grow your group or will it be torn asunder by creeping autonomism? Most importantly of all, will you sell the most copies of the paper?

Suitable for ages 5 – 197, this game promises to revolutionise the way we think about growing our movement which will allow us to smash capitalism and the consumerist ideologies that are twatting our communities.

The game is now available in print and play format. Please subscribe to the mailing list  to register your interest in hearing if we release a premade paid for game.

 www.trotwars.org
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

PD’s Privilege Quotient Hotline Launched

Posted on February 1, 2014 by

The intersectional working committees of Proletarian Democracy are constantly striving to identify new and exciting forms of oppression which can be applied to a proletarian milieu hungry to assault new privilege.

Sometimes candidate comrades are too imbued with residual privilege to recognise the depth of oppressions afflicting them; so this is where the highly trained councillors of our brand new Privilege Quotient hotline are essential!

Marxplaining:- the ability to explain any and all issues through the random application of unconnected quotes from the works of Marx and Engels, has been crudely applied by soi disant anti-party elements for decades, but now under the guidance of our Eternal Dear Leader Barry Mainwaring, the development of the ‘Double Diamond’ of Marxism-Posadism: Dialectical Dianetics has opened up an new world of oppression and new vistas for liberation!

Under the close supervision of their designated councillor, each candidate completes our detailed questionnaire. Then through a bafflingly advanced mathematical process, a Privilege Quotient fraction is derived, uniquely tailored to the comrade.

PD highly trained councillor of the Privilege Quotient hotline

A highly trained Privilege Quotient hotline councillor – first day on the job

Privilege over oppression is then converted through the application of DD into oppression over privilege reversing the equation in a mirror of the liberation of the oppressed masses through thermonuclear conflagration.

Of course as any true follower of the narrow path to proletarian liberation will recognise, there can be no true liberation without a smidgen of mass extermination.

What is gained for the potential recruit is a greater understanding of their oppression, and the opportunity to progress further up the ladders and through the mazes of Multitudinous Positionism.

Prospective comrades are asked to make a modest financial contribution toward this valuable liberationary work. But we ask you, is not the path to intersectional self-awareness beyond mere trifles such as monetary value?

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

PD and AntiPacifist Action joint statement on Usama Hasan and the SWP

Comrades,

We (Proletarian Democracy) applaud the SWP’s stance of solidarity against the pacifist anti-worker running dog Usama Husan and his lack of condemnation for that Jesus and Mo cartoon. Such a shameful display of non-confrontational sentiment can only delay the inevitable countdown towards the deployment of the Worker’s Bomb.

Despite their Cliffite deviations, the SWP have proved themselves more genuine Marxists than many on the so-called ‘left’ such as the Provisional Committee for the Bright Dawn of Proletarian Democracy, the IWBA, and many former comrades who through backwardness and the failure to never really fully understand our Marxist programme, departed from our ranks and found themselves becoming sects on the fringes of the labour movement’s darker corners.

We applaud the SWP’s stance! We do! However, we as Posadists committed to the cobbling together of our bomb must go further. We take this opportunity now to announce a solidarity demo with the Christian Union at Bristol Union against the Archbishop of Canterbury after he said that maybe it might not be such a bad idea for women to be bishops. And we are corresponding with the Israel Society at Doncaster University who have asked us to stand with us in solidarity with them against Rabbi Sternberg and his failure to condemn another rabbi and his pacifist message that sometimes the Palestinians may not be so bad after all. The Burmese branch of Proletarian Democracy is organizing a solidarity demonstration with oppressed workers furious at their local monks not being sufficiently enraged about jokes about the Buddha.

Such actions prove that we, Proletarian Democracy, go further than the SWP. Through our support of militant religious activists we are building a true bottom up network against pacifism which will put our party in the forefront of the struggle for more or less total nuclear annihilation and the rebuilding of a new and proper communist world!

It is notable that amongst Chucklism there has been insufficient room for the laughing buddha. Once again we distance ourselves from the foolishness of ‘face’ book, a petit bourgeoisie time-wasting organ that attributes quotes almost at random – but it should be accepted that a certain level of facebook entryism is acceptable so long as comrades do not discuss where the tea money for last weeks meeting went. Clear cold tap water is enough for the proleteriat and is enough for the voice thereof. Soon this water will be heavy. We fist bump with our persian bredrins here.

Some amongst us may wonder at this support, but are we not united in condemnation of the failed Maoists and that Tibetan ruffstuff?

To Me. To You. Is this Girder real or just a game?

Comrades from the Veg Wedge have seen fit to produce a pamphlet ‘Barry and the Buddha’ extolling once more the virtues of self denial through ‘lols’ and no meat. Despite strident calls for a purge I (err, I mean we) must urge calm. There is room on this starcraft earth for all.

Consider: nitroglycerine requires a smart tap to ignite – the agitation of the molecules is an expanding pressure wave that consumes all material. Thus high explosive. How much higher then our purpose! In the irradiated desert to come there will be many wild eyed prophets and tollers of bells.

The betrayers of the fourth international known as ‘Firebox’ collapsed in ignominy and shame. Our fire box is as Pandora’s.

“Take the flame inside you, burn and burn below” – Dracula in The Wicker Man

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

RIP Chris Maguire 1952-2013: Please Donate To His Chosen Charity, The Joseph Rowntree Foundation

Posted on January 6, 2014 by

The following compilation, as well as this website

http://rememberingaudiotech.blogspot.co.uk

has been put together by friends of Chris Maguire. Chris sadly took his life in the month of December 2013, following a year-long struggle with ATOS to secure his social security entitlements.

Some of us knew Chris in real life, but most knew him from interactions online on the Urban75 bulletin board, where he was an active member. The most common thread that brings posters together on Urban75 is a shared leftist politics, but Chris, who went by the online name of Audiotech, was as passionate about music as he was about socialism, and it was through talking about music that many of us came to know him.

Each year Chris would facilitate a music competition on the boards, where posters would contribute tracks, which would then be voted for by the online community. Although a competition, it was very much the taking part that mattered.

To commemorate Chris’s life, some posters from Urban75 came together to create this compilation. As well as including material submitted by posters, it also includes 3 tracks by Chris himself (attributed here to his pseudonym Audiotech). An active member of the Anti-Nazi League, Chris was involved in Leeds Rock Against Racism and was well known in Leeds punk music circles, occasionally playing in his own band at one time.

Leeds Rock Against Racism

Rock Against Racism, Leeds July 1981. Pic: William Starkey

The compilation is available to download for free under a Creative Commons license, but we would encourage you to make a donation, using the Donate button on the Remembering Audiotech website. Every penny raised is passed directly to a charity that Chris was a keen supporter of, The Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

In his last moments Chris left a note for his friends quoting Shelley’s poem, The Mask of Anarchy…

“Rise like Lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number,
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you—
Ye are many—they are few.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Compilation Tracklist

1. Slow Theme – Xenon
2. Untitled – Audiotech
3. Techno Hobos – Chasbo Zelena
4. Bezier – Fatter Faction
5. Babylon Must Phalle – Das Lunsentrio ft Yoon Jung Kim & Lim Cho Hee
6. Jah Love – Audiotech
7. Doctor Who Theme – Atomic Suplex
8. Morrissey Must Die – The Melmoths
9. Raaaaaaa – Mungy
10. Divide and Rule – Radio Partizan
11. Talk Amongst Yourselves – Audiotech
12. Chloroplast – ProtoKode
13. Forever – Jaggerbog
14. Transcendent 4000 – Paul TQ Freeman

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Poetry by Proletarian Democracy

Posted on July 28, 2013 by

O my Luve ‘s like a red, red flag
That ‘s brandished by a throng:
O my Luve ‘s like the melodie
of a Chuckle Brothers’ song!

As fair art thou, my bomber lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
Inevitable side-effects,
When we drop the workers’ bomb.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel a while!
But steer clear of those Spartacists,
Their dialectic’s truly vile.

Proleapols to cmbbe Robbie “Third Degree” Burns

———-

Your significance to me,
Is like that of Mao to the peasantry.
And so I share my Five Year Plan,
Year one is to become your man.
And all I hope from year two,
Is that I am still with you.
And that you are still with me,
The aspiration for year three.
Hope you’ve not shown me the door,
By the time we reach year four.
Happy I’ll be in year five,
If our love is still alive.

———-

Some say that love is like a weight,
Like being crushed by the state.
They also tell me that it feels,
Like being ground under capitalists’ heels.
But when I gaze into your eyes,
How I feel my proletariat rise.
I know that if you’ll be with me,
Together we’ll smash the bourgeoisie.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Marion Bartoli – A critique of her painting from a proper communism perspective

Posted on July 9, 2013 by

PD marion bartoli twitter

bartoli painting

It is obvious from the suspiciously-erect stem of the rose, that this painting signifies both the quotidian nature of hetero-normativity, with the thrusting rampancy of the male genitals making incursions whether welcome or not, and the essential artificiality of heterosexual relations in general, shrouded as they are with ritualistic behaviour such as flower-giving in the (usually forlorn, at least in our circles) hope of sexual contact. That the painting, which echoes the consumerist greeting card style, also signifies the indoctrination of the young into this bourgeois perversion of natural sexuality, reveals the artist’s true understanding of the mockery that is hetero-normative sexuality.

All well and good.

However, the prominent delineation of the rose, an emblem of so-called ‘socialism’, the jezebelesque hand maiden of class collaborationist liberalism, is clearly intended to ‘cock a snook’ at communism, particularly proper communism (Proletarian Democracy) and by extension, the intergalactic working class.

Although we congratulate comrade Bartoli on her Wimbledon victory and offer our unconditional support against the feeble attacks by the common enemy, the male chauvinist posh private school sham BBC bell-end du jour Inverdale, we feel compelled to provide an urgent but gentle reminder that tennis, like all sports, is an extreme form of Martovism and that by continuing to commit herself to her career while neglecting the current all-out no-nonsense class struggle, she is, in a manner of speaking, playing with fire.

A finger hovers over the twitter machine unfollow button.

The twirly green snake of eco-fascism in there as well. Crikey.

PD bartoli dad cat

Cat, Dr.Bartoli, and Marion Bartoli in approved proper communism attire.

As for the palaver about athletes, appearances and so on, our position is well-known and fairly implacable. We call once again on workers’ militias to redouble their efforts and suppress:

  • All cosmetic surgery (including so-called reconstructive surgery which simply reproduces bourgeois concepts of individualised beauty).
  • All psychotherapy (unless carried out in groups of at least 100 and in full view of the class).
  • All ‘fashion’ retailers; Dickies work wear to be made available through all large Co-op stores as a move towards expunging the desire for ‘fashion’ from the class.
  • All mirrors; this includes any reflective surface. Yes, even spoons.

Remember comrades, the only mirror the intergalactic working class needs is that of class conscious reflection.

Edited to add: Marion Bartoli heeded our warning and retired a few weeks after this post.

Cde Violentpanda

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Summer of Speaking (About Events Hundreds of Miles Away For No Reason But To Have The Right Line) Continues

Posted on July 6, 2013 by

Pro(or Anti)-Imperialist Egypt – Fighting the Kyriarchy – Embracing the Callout  – August 2013.

Events are moving fast in Egypt, often referred to as The Mother Of The World – should this have been Morsi’s first move?

Sexism in meme imagery is unacceptable, so shouldn’t the Eurocentric decoloniser left understand that this applies everywhere on earth? Was Morsi’s failure to address it his original sin? Is using religious imagery against Egypt’s first bearded President the sign of religious intolerance?

The Near East – should it return to the Ottoman Empire smashed apart by a worldwide British Commonwealth imperialist assault?

Is it racist for mixed heritage university students from Birmingham to show a picture of Hamdeen Sabahi to white bus drivers in London and ask them where they think he’s from? Is it racist if they answer “Europe”?

Are non-white members of Hamdeen Sabahi’s party part of the white left?

How anti-intersectional is calling the Turkish government’s support for Morsi a predictable-typical Islamist move? Does it need public or private calling out? Should the calling out be done in English in public or should it take place in the form of a visit to a mosque to find out about “the Muslim way of life”?

How can the British female working-class defend itself from the Sissi coup? Should workers’ defence squads appear in Dover on the look out for pro-UKIP hovercraft from Alexandria ?

Should a workers’ single-boat flotilla of socialist intelligentsia (including – at a minimum – George Galloway, Owen Jones, Nick Cohen, Tom Watson, Salma Yaqoob, Mehdi Hasan, Anas Altikriti and last but not least, People’s Assembly general and café kingpin John Rees) be sent to Luxor to assist the Egyptian masses with finding the right line?

Can age-privileged non-fasting Shiite women legitimately protest Al Hafez TV’s Ramadan men-only soaps featuring age-oppressed fasting Sunni males? Should Shiite lesbian women be allowed to bemoan this without a twitter callout? In the framing of these callouts, is ‘stick to your sect’s failings’ an acceptable intersectional retort or is it itself sectarian? Who should arbitrate? A traditional Muslim kadi, a pro-rape fantasy intersectional feminist or a researcher in Pornography Studies?

Working-class Sunni Muslim soldiers with Islamist grandmothers who nonetheless supported the corrective coup – are these the token ‘Muslims in name only’ Muslims who are wheeled out to mask the army’s palpable Islamophobia?

Muslim Brotherhood posters on May Day 2013 calling ‘the sweat of the brow of the worker (male gendered in Arabic) as holy as the blood of the martyr’ – a sexist insult or an acceptable mark of #solidarity with the world working-class?

PD Egypt Intersectionality

WHY were no clauses on pronoun reform for transgendered and queer questioning peoples included in Morsi’s December constitution?

Is failing to raise these issues a form of rampant transphobia amongst the Egyptian non-heterosexual community?

A (not religious) working-class Sunni Muslim conscript keeping silent in the face of a five-day-prayer Muslim officer’s reassurances of depoliticised roles, consensus constitutions and the like? How should the white left act when it wants to ally with no one? Does the white left include the white leftists from Sinai?

Part-time translator shopworkers in Cairo who call Rashid ‘Rosetta’ when speaking to their foreign friends? How can we overcome the privilege of the qualified Egyptian linguist class without asserting our nuclear-state-citizenship privilege?

Should Morsi have demanded that all nuclear nations give up their nuclear weapons, or only Israel? Should Morsi have instructed Sissi to begin nuclearising Egypt’s military to confront Israel?

When are soldiers who express political ideas coup-plotting? Should different standards apply in the proletarian world? An officer bemoaning lack of leave for soldiers in Denmark is not seen as a stab at democracy, so should this become the norm in Libya-Egypt? Had it been so, would the Brotherhood have rescinded its secrecy for the military budget?

Although the black intersectional feminists told male Egyptian Islamists their opinions didn’t matter to women, a large number of women still allied with them to the bitter end.

What now?

Once the privilege to legislate about women is accepted for Egyptian men, should it be applied to French men?

A Muslim Brotherhood shopkeeper offering price reductions to families with children (the women married hence more likely to be veiled) but not to single people (the women not veiled pre-marriage) – is this a case of de facto Veil Privilege? Are women who veil for political or privilege access reasons to be praised or questioned?

Working-class non-out gay Coptic protestors with signs calling Mohammed Morsi a firavun (pharaoh) – a sign of Islamophobia?

Male Shiites urging an end to governors’ sex-segregating secondary schools – denying Islamist women the right to the protection of their own way of education for their daughters?

Middle-class wine-consumptive Alexandria women, who declare that southern rural small farmsteaders with ‘No one to deny the right of my children to veil’ protest banners are “stupid” – Are they guilty of tone policing?

Who will write the new intersection tables?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Trigger Warning – (confusion, intersectionality, possible anti-Irish racism, Father Ted and that)

Posted on June 19, 2013 by

Our mailbags and inboxes are full of this kind of thing.

——–

Allies-Of-Minorities Cheadle High Street: An Open Letter to the Wider Movement and Proletarian Democracy.

We are exceedingly confused. An Irish man (resident in Ireland) is backing up a non-Irish woman (resident in Britain) who has entered a privilege challenge against a mixed heritage Irish woman (resident in Britain) making a joke involving and/or invoking something sort of Irish but made with significant assistance from imperialist Channel 4, but exported to essentially non-imperialist RTE2. Urgent help is requested.

Please advise.

——–

PD paddy

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Forget Marxism. Forget The SWP. Come to our summer do! Nothing much happening here either.

Posted on June 18, 2013 by

PD summer of talking to trash capitalism

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Same Ideas And The Same People: Come To Our “An !nternationalism! Festival” Festival! Please?

Posted on May 31, 2013 by

PD Festival

Image | Posted on May 31, 2013 by | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Syria and Lebanon – An Intersectionality Analysis

Posted on May 29, 2013 by

A Proletarian Democracy Conference Special Afternoon (and Evening and Through the Night) Session.

Syria-Lebanon

One country or two? Or is it seven separate states rolled into a single “Eurocentric left” conspiracy? Are Fuad Siniora and Basher Al-Assad people of colour? Should the global black solidarity movement be stronger? Is Nasrallah part of it? Is Tammam Salam? Was Colonel Gaddafi’s support for Assad the right thing? Are two separate Syrias better for the black solidarity movement? Should the Druze people have their own section within our Middle East people of colour section?

Why is it that when Beyonce gets praised in celebrity magazines, that’s a step forward – a worthy figure of black feminism; but when Asma Assad is praised the same old white knives come out?

Find out which working-class really won the Lebanese civil war. Are Edgeware Road’s Lebanese really supporting other people of colour if they don’t give two hoots about all that?

First World Privilege Matters.

Hear both sides on how or whether white people should be allowed in NUS Liberation Conferences.

Which oppressions intersect when a male war pension-drawing partially disabled working-class peasant origin Druze gives a lift to a female Christian non-Catholic lower-middle-class origin housewife (but married to an upper-middle-class not-religious Sunni shop owner) and he calls her clothes (not her) beautiful?

Hezbollah don’t do strikebreaking, they do intersectional support for oppressed Shia transport workers when given the chance – find out how.

Kurds in Syria: vectors of imperialism or anti-imperialist tinderboxes?

Why will the ISM organise groups to defend the Palestinians under attack from the IDF but not the Syrians under attack from Assad? Are Palestinians privileged when compared with Sunni Syrians. Should ‘Victim Of Israeli Oppression’ privilege be a registered axis of oppression?

If Qatar and the Gulf monarchies arm the rebels, why shouldn’t Russia arm the Syrian armed forces?

Should Tripoli in Lebanon be an intersectionalised zone monitored by the UN? Everyone calls for occupied Haifa to be returned. Great! But when oh when will the racist left learn that occupied Iskandarun needs to be to be returned to Syria?

Alawites? When they call themselves Muslims, why does it upset other Muslims – who is really right? Are Britain’s census Jedis like Alawites but suffering from a crisis of masculinity which only the black Labour left wants to solve? Would Hafez, Zein and Karim Bashar Al-Assad be people of colour if they had been successful in leaving Syria for the west? Who first started using this people of colour thing outside the USA – was it the Lebanese Christians?

And that’s just for starters!

Date: 3PM Saturday June 8th until whenever (in non-Workers’ Clock time)

Location: Stroud Cosmonaut School (upstairs from Crazy Daisy Florists)

Refreshments: As much tea/coffee as can be handled but no more than 3 biscuits allowed per attendee.

Admission: Free! (suggested donation – £2.99)

See you there!

NB: We urge prospective attendees who find anything objectionable in the above to review our Multitudinous Positionism policy BEFORE ‘calling us out’ on the twitter machine.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Eurovision Song Contest Final – A Proper Communist Perspective

Posted on May 18, 2013 by


Previews of the remaining entries, the self-styled big 5, and the hosts, Sweden, plus summaries of the qualifying tunes from semi-final 1 and semi-final 2.

1: France – Amandine Bourgeois – L’enfer Et Moi

I’m gonna give you hell
Right where you’re losing yourself
Have a good look in the rear mirror
I ‘ll be the one standing behind you

What’s it about?
OFTROT, the body we founded to monitor and regulate the known world’s Trotskyist groups. OFTROT (Office for the Trustworthy Relaying of the Oratory of Trotsky) carries out regular inspections of every single sect, resulting in a published evaluation of effectiveness. An adverse report may include a recommendation for further intervention in the running of, or even the dissolution of, the sect. OFTROT commissars swoop into town at 3am on quadricycles of colour.

Sounds like:
Son nom de guerre est “Bourgeois”. Clever non? Elle se passionne pour l’open mike nite. Malheuresement, elle a les bleues, et elle voudrait mettre un spell sur vous. Attention! Winehouse est mort, encore une fois.

VERDICT

Proper communism

***

5: Spain – ESDM – Contigo Hasta El Final

You’re that light
That crosses the universe
You urge me to fly
With you till the end

What’s it about?
Communist superaliens, our invincible future allies.

pd-posadist small

Sounds like:
Sarah MacLachlan after a heady cocktail of fizzy drinks and Workers’ Girder back issues. Takes a while to get going mind, 1 minute 20 seconds to be exact.

VERDICT

A LOT communism

***

11: Germany – Cascada – Glorious

We are young and hard and we’re free
The world is ours
I can feel the music in me
Glorious

What’s it about?
Official battle hymn of Proletarian Democracy’s badass youth wing – Proletarian Democracy Juniors. Scarface/La Haine reference and everything.

pd juniors small

Sounds like:
Last year’s “winner” but with at least 15% more communism.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

***

15: United Kingdom – Bonnie Tyler – Believe In Me

What-cha gonna do when your ship is sinking
And you’re crying out for help
And just a seagull’s listening
In the dark of the night in the middle of the fight
When you’re reaching out for something and there’s nothing

What’s it about?
Blistering bit of scabshaming by one of pop‘s most prominent IWWers. From the early 70’s until the illegal dismantling of the anti-fascist protective barrier in ’89, comrade Tyler and compatriot and ex-CPGB member Shaking Stevens were friends to the whole gamut of Latin America‘s leftist guerilla milieu; smuggling weapons and cash in, and sneaking injured comrades and evidence of dictatorship atrocities out. Rumour has it that a hundred or so spiky blonde wigged, high heeled Sendero Luminoso Tyleristas still totter about the Andes, their chiffon military fatigues now hardly more than rags. They are literally holding out for a hero.

Sounds like:

Billy Bragg on a chardonnay downer., humming Prince’s I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

***

16: Sweden – Robin Stjernberg – You

It’s all because of you
All because of you
I know that if the sky would fall
I’d survive it all because of you

What’s it about?
A phosphorescent tribute to the compañeros y compañeras building Stroud’s replica of  ‘Nam’s gigantic Cu Chi tunnel complex.

PD cu chi

Sounds like:
An eviscerated Tarzan Boy by Baltimora. No foolin’.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

***

23: Italy – Marco Mengoni – The Essential

As the world falls into pieces
I craft new spaces and needs
That belong to you too
You, whom I believe to be the ESSENTIAL

What’s it about?
The squatting and transformation of a recently vacated shoe shop into a convergence centre and hub of resistance to big capital. Reiki cleansings, gender neutral burlesque classes, Tibetan singing bowls, vegan goo “café”, and whopping “here‘s to the crazy ones” mural on the wall. The lot. Progressive stack rules and convoluted wiggly hands lexicon as last line of defence against povs and miscellaneous undesirables who don‘t even know what intersectionality is lol.

Sounds like:
Someone doing communism really really wrong.

VERDICT

CommunISNT

***

2: Lithuania – Andrius Pojavis
Radical cobblers
3: Moldova – Aliona Moon – O Mie
Post-revolutionary justice.
4: Finland – Krista Siegfrids – Marry Me
Radfem agitprop/Thatcher death party hymn.
6: Belgium – Roberto Bellarosa – Love Kills
Lack of revolutionary spirit.
7: Estonia – Birgit Õigemeel – Et Uus Saaks Alguse
The joy of entryism.
8: Belarus – Alyona Lanskaya – Solayoh
Proletarian revolution.
9: Malta – Gianluca – Tomorrow
Infiltration and intelligence gathering.
10: Russia – Dina Garipova – What If
Class solidarity.
12: Armenia – Dorians – Lonely Planet
Proletarian revolution.
13: The Netherlands – Anouk – Birds
Revolutionary justice.
14: Romania – Cezar – It’s My Life
Chuckle Theory.
17: Hungary – ByeAlex – Kedvesem
The Workers’ Bomb.
18: Denmark – Emmelie de Forest – Only Teardrops
Sectarianism.
19: Iceland – Eythor Ingi – I Am Alive
Proletarian indefatigability.
20: Azerbaijan – Farid Mammadov – Hold Me
Revolutionary aftertiming.
21: Greece – Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis – Alcohol Is Free
Anti-“austerity”.
22: Ukraine – Zlata Ognevich – Gravity
Proletarian revolution.
24: Norway – Margaret Berger – I Feed You My Love
Revolutionary discipline.
25: Georgia – Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani – Waterfall
Chuckle Theory.
26: Ireland – Ryan Dolan – Only Love Survives
The Workers’ Bomb.

***

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Proletarian Democracy Eurovision Song Contest Preview (Part 2)

Posted on May 16, 2013 by

As promised, here is Proletarian Democracy’s preview of the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest’s 2nd semi-final. Excitement mounting. Can you feel it comrades? Same scoring system as part 1. Note how our all our predictions thus far have been spot on. Not even Montenegro’s cynical last minute decision to pass themselves off as Posadists by dressing up as cosmonauts was enough to win the people’s favour.

Anyway, without further ado…tunes.

1: Latvia – PeR – Here We Go

Ladies and Gentlemen, I need a starlight
‘Cuz never have I had a day without a fight
I’m surrounded by problems, I got to run
(But no) I keep pulling myself up
I’m on a mission to fulfil my vision
All day everyday – never ever, ever give up
Here we go, here we go

What’s it about?
Alerta, the network of antifascist football ultras. Here we go, yes indeedy we do.

PD hapoel antifa

Sounds like:
Freedom by George Michael with a spangle studded hat tip to J-Roc from Trailer Park Boys. At first listen this is an unlikely soundtrack to the serious business of nazi-battering, but time and time again, the people come up to us in Stroud and say “Look, we love football and hate racists but we want to dance as well! Why oh why do all antifash tunes tend to be either shrieking Oi! nonsense or *shudder* Billy Bragg?” When the people speak, proper communists (in this case, Latvia’s PeR and composers Ralfs Eilands & Arturas Burke) listen.

VERDICT

Proper communism

2: San Marino – Valentina Monetta – Crisalide

Start emerging from your chrysalis
Find the kind of freedom that you miss
Like a butterfly
Times they are changing
The wind blows the clouds of tears away
As you rise to the sky

What’s it about?
Look no further than brainy Frenchman Jean-Marie Guyau’s 1895 beermat scribble – The Philosophy of Hope. “All of us, scholars and workers, we are like the butterfly: our strength is made of a ray of light. Not even: of the hope of a ray.” The second tune to brandish a proletariat as butterfly motif, the other being of course the Ukrainian entry from the first semi-final. Oh, some Dylan in there as well. For the benefit of younger comrades, Bob Dylan turned out a few bits and pieces of half decent rebel rock ages ago before promptly disappearing up his shambling amphetamine addled arse.

Sounds like:
A haphazard stop start mess, like the republican general staff ‘s prosecution of the Spanish Civil War, and then, most UNlike the Spanish Civil War, goes all Gloria Gaynor in the last 30 seconds.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

3: F.Y.R. Macedonia – Esma & Lozano – Pred Da Se Razdeni

It’s not like it used to be
The good times are over
We have been together
Through thick and thin
Until the day breaks
Stay right here next to me
There will be
Good times ahead for you and me

What’s it about?
The criminal destruction of the Anti-Fascist Protective Rampart (the so-called Berlin “Wall”) the subsequent plummet in life expectancy throughout the pseudo-socialist Warsaw Pact states (slow handclap for Noreena Hertz), and 20 or so years of rapacious capitalist carpetbagging and humiliation tempered only by the indomitable conviction that proper communism is a nailed-on certainty. Just around the corner. Any decade now.

Sounds like:
Erm. The greatest Anti-Fascist Protective Rampart tribute you will hear this century.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

4: Azerbaijan – Farid Mammadov – Hold Me

Should have seen it coming when I saw you
Should have had the sense to stop and walk away
It was gonna turn out complicated
We´ve hit overload about to explode

What’s it about?
The decision of the CNT-FAI to join Largo Caballero’s Popular Front government, leading to consolidation of power by Stalinists and liberal republicans, the dissolving of the workers’ militias, the Barcelona May Days, and ultimately, according to comrade Mammadov at least, the loss of the Spanish Civil War. Coulda shoulda woulda combabe.

Sounds like:
Barry Manilow but not a ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ Barry Manilow, more of an off-his-game ‘Where Are They Now’ Barry Manilow because his pool-cleaner didn’t turn up or something and he’s distracted.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

5: Finland – Krista Siegfrids – Marry Me

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ding dong!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ding dong!
I don’t think there are no ladies
Who will give you cuter babies
Isn’t that amazing?
I’m your slave and you’re my master
Oh, baby come on take a shot!

What’s it about?
A ruthlessly “ironic” blistering radical feminist anthem with a timely Thatcher death party twist. A stiletto heeled boot to the pimpled bollocks of patriarchy. Comrade Siegfrids will give you something to get teary-eyed about Osborne you nasty botched abortion faced Eton fuck.

Sounds like:
A sort of Spagna/Pink/Katy Perry polycephaly experiment.

VERDICT

Proper communism

6: Malta – Gianluca – Tomorrow

His name is Jeremy
Working in I.T.
Never questions why
He has always been
An extra careful guy
Sensitive and shy
Risk assessment is his investment
In a life of no surprise
‘Til she walked into his life
She’s spontaneous indeed
Uncertainty’s her creed
Oh oh time to follow her tomorrow

What’s it about?
The campaign to place lefties in key sectors of the economy and target members of the favoured labour caste with a view to recruitment or intelligence gathering. In this scenario, a member of Malta’s Communist Party (which received 0.1% of first preference votes in 1987’s sham elections) accepts a mission to join an IT company and induce “Jeremy”, a pre-selected risk assessor, to “follow” her on the twitter and “friend” her on facebook.

Drawing on her training as a Malta Workers’ Union (UHM) branch secretary, she wins Jeremy‘s confidence by offering to help him claim his travel and subsistence expenses entitlements from the company, as she knows from his file that he’s too much of a scaredy-cat to do it himself. So far so good, but will a devil-may-care invitation to share a “meal” at the local grey vegan goo café drag him too far out of his comfort zone and prove to be the mission‘s undoing?

Either that or else it’s a searing indictment of anomie in late capitalist Malta where frustrated and irredeemably alienated males, who, in bewildered neighbour parlance “always kept to themselves to themselves”, are turning willy nilly to voyeurism and stalking in order to gratify sexual desires and/or assuage overwhelming feelings of crippling loneliness. “Risk assessment” how are you.

Sounds like:
Featherweight indie twee cobblers. See also Lisa Hannigan. A bit She Bangs The Drums by The Stone Roses as well maybe but with ukuleles and a singer who doesn’t sing like the sedative is wearing off in the middle of his colonoscopy and hasn’t threatened to chop the hands off any airline cabin crew lately. 

VERDICT

A LOT communism

7: Bulgaria – Elitsa & Stoyan – Samo Shampioni

Only wild ones,
Only champions,
Golden boys and girls for millions
Give us the young ones,
Give us the happy ones,
And the whole village comes.

What’s it about?
A rural recruitment drive for the Proletarian Defence Squads. Contains eyebrow-waggling levels of ableism and ageism at first glance. Check your good-at-sports privilege comrades! But look closer. It’s made perfectly clear that they’ll take absolutely anybody. And anyway, in the new society, all proletarians will be champions sort of, and everyone will be relatively happy.

Sounds like:
A particularly shaky Alvin And The Chipmunks side-project.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

8: Iceland – Eythor Ingi Gunnlaugsson – I Am Alive

I set out upon that long journey
I walked on lost and restless
I climb over the high mountains
I am alive, I am alive

What’s it about?
A comradely reminder to lefties everywhere that just like Mao and the glorious Chinese Red Army on the Long March before us, we are engaged in a seemingly horizonless tactical retreat, but hey, everything’s under control. We got this. “The enemy advances, we retreat; the enemy camps, we harass; the enemy tires, we attack; the enemy retreats, we pursue.”

Sounds like:
A fishing boat disaster memorial service approximation of Lean On Me – the Bill Withers version not the Glee one thankfully. Chin up Eythor!

VERDICT

A LOT communism

9: Greece – Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis – Alcohol Is Free

Caught in a sea storm on Egnatia street
Gales are drifting us too far from the shore
Our route might be wrong
Lights are blinking on and off
The ship is headed towards Grevena.

What’s it about?
“Alcohol Is Free” is the Greek wing of “Heavy Drinkers Against Capitalism” a Proletarian Democracy front group. Egnatia Street is the commercial centre of Thessaloniki (bastion of anti-Nazi resistance in WW2) and is a symbol of the corrupt, criminal and decadent bourgeoisie which lies at the root of Greece’s current predicament. Syriza’s futile funnelling of revolutionary energy into useless parliamentarianism is allowing the Greek working class to drift violently towards “Grevena“, the site of a 1995 earthquake.

Sounds like:
Thoroughly banging turbo folk, rebetiko, ska punk, klezmer mashup. Victory to Greece!

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

10: Israel – Moran Mazor – Rak Bishvilo

Only for him,
I forget the cold
And thanks to him
I find light in the darkness
Only for him,
I will cross the borders
Only with him the answers to questions

What’s it about?
Barry Mainwaring, Proletarian Democracy’s suprahuman leader, and cult figure on Hapoel Tel Aviv’s terraces.

Sounds like:
Celine Dion getting her hair done but she’s realised she may have left the immersion on and she hasn’t even been offered a cup of tea and Jedward have walked in and they’re playing at James Bond with hairdryers, but for all that, it’s an adequate performance and a fitting bit of panegyric fluff.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

11: Armenia – Dorians – Lonely Planet

Who’s the one that starts a war?
Who’s dictating what is less and more?
Who can change the night and day?
Who’s the one with clever face?
We can stop it.
We can stop it…
We can stop it….
We can stop it…
For the world.

What’s it about?
The near unspeakable rubbishness of capitalism and a fairly categorical confirmation that yes, communism is the answer.

Sounds like:
A sea of CGI’d swaying molotovs, a bloke on a cliff, one foot on the monitor and a light breeze and camera crew helicopter‘s downdraft playing havoc with his pattern baldness. So pedestrian it could do with a walking frame in case it keels over but nevertheless, wafer metal doesn’t get more communism than this, more‘s the pity. Penned by Sabbath’s Tony Iommi. (!)

VERDICT

A LOT communism

12: Hungary – ByeAlex – Kedvesem

Say did you know she reaches around the globe
She plunges into the deep sea
Dancing up on top of clouds
The one for me – she is the one for me

Cuz I’ve got, nothing now
Just the one for me – just the one for me
She’s all around
So lovely – so lovely

What’s it about?
The first Workers’ Bomb to be constructed entirely from foraged materials, with an ICBM delivery system capable (in theory anyway) of a global reach unless it just falls into the sea like it says in the tune. Scotch science fiction behemoth Ken MacLeod had a go at us last year over our nuclear armament policy and our whole approach to communism in general you know. See here. Prepare to be proper disgusted. Ken MacLeod, Rachel Khoo, Aprons And Betrayal.

Sounds like:
Sexy Boy era Air? Or a bit Sebastian Tellier. Or Lucy Spraggan? Dunno really. Not a clue.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

13: Norway – Margaret Berger – I Feed You My Love

You put a knife against my back
And you dare me to face the attack
You say for cowards there’s no reward
I have the future on my tongue
Now I can see the whole world is mine

What’s it about?
The necessity of having blocking units on demonstrations in order to discourage early withdrawals to the pub, similar to those deployed by the NKVD in great patriotic war, or the SWP at Nusle Bridge in Prague during the anti-IMF protests in 2000.

Sounds like:
A competently executed scandi pop dirge that like many a Norwegian glacier, doesn‘t seem to go anywhere very fast and just isn‘t that bothered. Mid 1990’s Bjork minus the tiresome pretend weirdness.

VERDICT

Proper communism

14: Albania – Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko – Identity

We’ll speak in one language
So there will be no more tears
You’ll be found anywhere around the world
You won’t be a stranger any more
Let it be a new beginning

What’s it about?
An actual letter from the Weekly Worker that may or may not have been written by us, which suggested that in the post-revolutionary world, all languages would be outlawed and Esperanto would become the sole permitted language, thus delivering a possibly fatal blow to the load of old toilet that is nationalism.

Sounds like:
The sort of plodding poodle do mid 80’s metal, superfluous widdly widdly fretwanking solo and all, that Nirvana and co killed stone dead back in the day. Bet they had “Scorpions” scrawled on their schoolbags. Did Def Leppard front man Joe Elliot put up them to this?

VERDICT

Little bit communism

15: Georgia – Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani – Waterfall

There’s no me without you
Don’t know what I would do
You’re my heartbeat, I’m breathing because of you

What’s it about?
To me, to you. Please have a shufty at our article on Chuckle Theory because there’s a back to back triple whammy coming up.

Sounds like:
The Chuckle Brothers doing Andrew Lloyd Webber.

VERDICT

Proper communism

16: Switzerland – Takasa – You And Me

When the times are getting rough
Gold and silver turn to dust
The people build their barricades
Out of “jealousy” and hate

Let it hear from near and far
This is how it’s meant to be
We’re together you and me

What’s it about?
Zwingli, the anabaptists, 1653 and all that, plus naked class hatred and the second helping of applied Chuckle Theory. Note the sardonic swipe at the doctrinaire bourgeois slur that we are motivated by “jealousy” and “the politics of envy” rather than dialectics, very big bearded books and the implacable conviction that capitalism is an organised swindling racket that’s at the end of its historical tether.

Sounds like:
The Chuckle Brothers doing Rocket From The Crypt.

VERDICT

Proper communism

17: Romania – Cezar – It’s My Life

It’s my life and I know it’s not forever
It’s my life and I’ll share it all with you
It’s my life, we were meant to be together
I’ll give my life to you

What’s it about?
Full, unwavering and unconditional commitment to no holds barred class struggle via the illuminative prism of Chuckle Theory.

Sounds like:
The Chuckle Brothers doing, and we sincerely hope this isn’t taken the wrong way, The Communards, The Pet Shop Boys and Andrew Lloyd Webber, in no particular order.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

A preview of the final including the Swedish, UK, German, Italian, French and Spanish entries will be published on Saturday, May 18th.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Proletarian Democracy Eurovision Song Contest Preview (Part 1)

Posted on May 14, 2013 by

The Eurovision Song Contest, cultural Marxism’s flagship spectacle, is a highlight in every communist’s calendar, or should be. We proudly present part 1 of the official Proletarian Democracy preview of all the entries. The following score system applies.

PD eurovision score table

1: Austria – Natalia Kelly – Shine

When hurt is all you’re feeling, your heart is slowly bleeding
The only memories to hold on to
When you almost stop believing, you’re cold, alone and freezing
You think you’re lost and don’t know where to go
Look up to the starlit sky, reignite the fire
You will shine, shine and fight the shadows in the sky

What’s it about?
The loneliness of the far-left paper seller.

Sounds like:
A somnambulant Travis.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

2: Estonia – Birgit Õigemeel – Et Uus Saaks Alguse

The curtain is being raised once more
The second act is starting, where I pick myself up and dust myself down
The same person, only with a different game to play
What lies ahead has changed, I’m taking a different path
And I know, I know
That things can get better
Every door that closes eventually opens again

What’s it about?
Being expelled from Workers’ Power for entryism, but being able to get it together and inveigle your way into the next rival sect on the circuit with minimum fuss.

Sounds like:
‘True’ era Spandau Ballet, a band which had TWO Labour Party members, only one tory and once played a miners’ strike benefit where they retitled “Gold” as “Coal” and changed all the words to be about coal and the sheer unfuckablewithness of the working class.

VERDICT

A LOT communism

3: Slovenia – Hannah – Straight Into Love

Straight into love
We’ll break through the dawn
And light the world up from the sky when we collide
Straight into love
And never let go
We’ll light the world up from the sky into the night

We’re turning the tide, with eyes open wide
There’s no stopping now
With all that we have, we stand on the edge
Before we dive down

What’s it about?
Obvious isn’t it? The dropping of the Workers’ Bomb.

Sounds like:
An acceptably hapless Eurodisco stomper.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

4: Croatia – Klapa s Mora – Mižerja

Oh, these hard times are stony and raw, now.
Oh, these hard times! The wine flows no more now.
I have only what I trust in:
A faithful heart of purest love.

Oh, my rose so lovely,
All my life I’ll care,
And my final crust of bread
With you I’ll gladly share.

What’s it about?
The indestructible spirit of the international working class. We don’t need no fancypants pretend booze like”wine”. No. We can live on rocks and way past its sell-by date bread.

Sounds like:
A somewhat lugubrious ballad by some comrades in immaculate clobber. And why not? When exactly did communists begin to neglect their appearance and dress en masse like tramps or teenagers?

VERDICT

Proper communism

5: Denmark – Emmelie de Forest – Only Teardrops

The sky is red tonight
we’re on the edge tonight
no shooting star to guide us

Eye for an eye
why tear each other apart
please tell me why
why do we make it so hard
look at us now
we only got ourselves to blame
it’s such a shame

What’s it about?
The vicious sectarian infighting, deranged egoism and middle-class opportunism which has marred efforts to build a proper proletarian movement for the last 150 odd years. As the the SOLE non-sectarian grouplet in the UK, this tune’s insight cannot fail to impress us . Comrade De Forest! ¡Presente!

Sounds Like:
Annoying Alanisisms and paucity of ideas partially mitigated by ingenious “what shall we do with a drunken sailor” chorus.

VERDICT

A LOT communism

6: Russia – Dina Garipova – What If

What if I could change the path of time
What if I had the power to decide
What if I could make us unify
Together we can make a better place
On this little island out in space
Together we can change the world forever

What’s it about?
A speculative appeal for class solidarity spoiled a bit by some fairly naked vanguardist and messianic tendencies. Security conscious comrade Garipova’s suggestion that we should “bury our guns” is not a bad one, as long as we remember where we put them, otherwise come the big day, we’ll be looking at a lot of empty holes and what a seriously embarrassing military blunder that would be! Consequently, the bourgeoisie would crush us in a week or two. But Posadist flavoured kudos for giving space the mention.

Sounds Like:
Nondescript plinky Disney film fodder.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

7: Ukraine – Zlata Ognevich – Gravity

I’m like a butterfly
Spinning ‘round a sword as if to dare
I should have stayed up high
It’s stronger than me
My gravity

What’s it about?
The butterfly represents the final stage of the international proletariat’s emancipation, and the sword is the Workers Bomb, while gravity is simultaneously a force which anchors us to the principles of historical materialism and a bloody nuisance which inhibits our ability to explore the universe properly. There should be something about caterpillars, their cooperation with ants and the chrysalis process but there isn’t. Time and convention constraints probably.

Sounds Like:
Bravo comrade Ognevich! Ideologically sound subject matter and saucy but sensitive cultural appropriation of afrobeats.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

8: The Netherlands – Anouk – Birds

Birds falling down the rooftops
out of the sky like raindrops
no air, no pride
birds

What’s it about?
Mass defenstration of informers and fifth columnists. No nonsense revolutionary justice in full effect.

Sounds Like:
A jazzy Dinah Shore-ish lullaby.

VERDICT

PROPER COMMUNISM w Extreme Predge

9: Montenegro – Who See – Igranka

I’ll take you to the party, to to to to the party,
It’s a party, it doesn’t stop, beat after beat, verse after verse

What’s it about?
Further proof of the SWP’s exponentially desperate spiral into the void.  This poorly judged and tragically executed recruitment effort, coming via a cruelly duped Montenegrin affiliate, will do little to arrest their sordid demise.

Sounds Like:
A couple of Trots in Atlantic fisherman overalls trying to rap, because that’s exactly what it is.

VERDICT

CommunISNT

10: Lithuania – Andrius Pojavis – Something

If you don’t know I’m in love with you
When summertime falls It becomes untrue
Because of my shoes I’m wearing today
One is called Love the other is Pain

What’s it about?
EP Thompson noted that cobblers were responsible for disseminating radical ideas in the early 19th century. The protagonist here yearns for all out revolution and the liberation of the class but is frustrated again and again by the twin shackles of bourgeois sentimentality (Love) and the fear of death, injury or incarceration (Pain) at the hands of reactionary forces. He just needs a new pair of ideological shoes in order to give the bourgeoisie the bootdown.

Sounds Like:
A drunken Ronan Keating who’s barged his way onto the stage during a particularly bewildered ferry band’s act.

VERDICT

A LOT communism

11: Belarus – Alyona Lanskaya – Solayoh

Friday night was going nowhere…
Sitting in a small café,
Feeling lonely, a little tired,
I’ve been working hard all day.

Then a noise caught my attention,
And I heard a wonderful sound;
Coming at me like a tsunami,
Nearly took my feet off the ground.

Solayoh, Solayoh, where the sun is always shining on ya
We play-oh, we play-oh to the rhythm of a cha-cha!

What’s it about?
The spontaneous, violent, infectious and euphoric nature of proletarian revolution, with a brazen nod to Cuba and Che for good measure.

Sounds Like:
Ace Turkish Klingon lady Sertab Erener’s 2003 entry, Everyway That I Can, but not in a sad way.

VERDICT

Proper communism

12: Moldova – Aliona Moon – O Mie

I would give you my love, but it wasn’t enough for us to make it last;
The Maya were not so wrong, it’s the end of the world! It’s done!
cause you are gone.

A million tears cannot wash up the sorrow that you made me feel;
A million of memories I try not to follow, but I cannot heal,
My heart is too ill
I thought that we can go on
But you chose to go alone
Go away! Now I’m done!

What’s it about?
The post-revolutionary purging of reformist and petit-bourgeois individualist elements, plus anyone else (list too long to go into here) who might be a bit sus.

Sounds Like:
Alan Partridge as Bond villain theme tune.

VERDICT

A LOT communism

13: Ireland – Ryan Dolan – Only Love Survives

All our lives
We’ve been afraid
Watching the world decline
Till nothing remains
But in our darkness hour
Right before the dawn
The old world dies
The new day is born

What’s it about?
The dropping of the Workers’ Bomb and the correct way to usher in the apocalypse. That’s the spirit. Communism Will Win!

Sounds Like:
Being stuck in a Limerick City traffic jam forever.

VERDICT

Proper communism

14: Cyprus – Despina Olympiou – An Me Thimasai

If you remember me,
Tell me if I will see you again
I wait for you
I will always be there for you

What’s it about?
Overly familiar comradeship. No idea what security procedures comrade Olympiou has been ordered to follow but usually, if one member of a revolutionary cell fails to contact the others within the agreed timeframe, then it must be assumed that they’ve been picked up or killed, and the cell is dissolved. Moping about the safe house on the off chance that the missing comrade just shows up is just asking for trouble like.

Sounds Like:
Your mum (or any other family member, or an acquaintance, or a housemate) finding a lump of cheese while cleaning out the fridge.

VERDICT

CommunISNT

15: Belgium – Roberto Bellarosa – Love Kills

Waiting for the bitter pill
Give me something i can feel
‘Cos love kills over and over
One last, one last, one last breath for life
Won’t you give me, give me hope tonight

What’s it about?
Unseemly panicking in the face of an unspecified and most likely vastly overestimated threat. Pull yourself together ffs Bellarosa. What’s going on in Belgium?

Sounds Like:
A hungover Leo Sayer crawling out of bed and spending 30 years groping his way to the toilet.

VERDICT

CommunISNT

16: Serbia – Moje 3 – Ljubav Je Svuda

I’m going to ask you in a year and so
When he cheats on you
then your heart will be just fish food
You know that

What’s it about?
The seductive and confusing yet inevitably treacherous nature of capitalism and its relentless drive to commodify all social relations.

Sounds Like:
A curiously disjointed but vaguely competent Eurodisco stomper.

VERDICT

Little bit communism

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Victory To UKIP – Forward To A Europe Of Proletarianised Nations?

Posted on May 3, 2013 by

Sadly, reaction to UKIP’s stunning local elections success from the sectarian has-beens, shapeshifting liberals and would-be neo-Kautskyites of the so-called ‘left’ has been predictably shrill and over the top. Specific examples are too numerous to list here and besides it’s a beautiful Friday afternoon, but as ever, Proletarian Democracy takes a more nuanced and sober view of events. We seize this opportunity to remind comrades that proper communism is a marathon not a sprint and how our official position on UKIP was outlined 6 months ago in our Workers’ Girder article Who Are Proletarian Democracy?

If we could somehow combine Nigel Farage’s Europe of Nations (or as we call it an Association of Independent European Socialist States) or an irradiated moon of Jupiter with the spirit of People’s Korea, a fully-fledged Proletarian Democracy may emerge. Nigel Farage genuinely desires national liberation and nationwide independence – what better, more popular British protagonist of Juche is there? Galloway? We think not.

Whilst we disagree with Farage on the use of the bourgeois colour purple, we would like to see a constructive dialogue between the progressive minority within UKIP and PD. The nuclear ball valve is in their court, if they are serious about furthering their anti-EU goals.

Victory To UKIP!

Victory To Proletarian Democracy!

Down With The Pretend Labour Party!

And LibDem Wannabes The Greens As Well!

Victory To A Europe Of Proletarianised Nations!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Official Privilege The Intersectionalising Progressive Stack App GUI Sneak Peek

Posted on April 26, 2013 by

Privilege The Intersectionalising

The Progressive Stack App

Who Will Step Up?

And Who Will Step Back!

Nobody Loses

And Nobody Wins

Fire Up Your PC/Tablet/Mobile Device

And Let The Priv Offs Begin!

PD progressive stack app priv off

(Click Pic To Enlarge If Necessary)

PD progressive stack monbiot

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment