Em Rusciano has announced she is taking a break from work and social media after suffering a miscarriage.
The radio host shared the news on Facebook over the weekend after suffering the loss on Friday.
"About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise," she shared with her 250,000 followers on Saturday night. "I found out I was pregnant. I was going to announce it this Monday as we'd hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom. Yesterday I found out that my little boy was lost to me.
"I'd only seen my baby the week before on the ultrasound, kicking and waving," she continued. "I'd heard his heart beat and began to imagine what type of person he'd become. What colour hair he'd have, I wondered if he'd be serious like his dad or ridiculous like his mother, or perhaps a little bit of both.
"But now, all I have is that one grainy black and white image, and the rest I will have to imagine. I'm not sure I'm built to withstand this kind of heartbreak. I'm not sure any mother is."
Em shared that the baby was named Ray, at her husband Scott's suggestion.
She said she understands how common miscarriages are, and that many women are able to carry on with their lives through their heartbreak, but that she felt unable to leave her bedroom. She has not said how much time she plans to take off from her job.
"A lot of you know exactly what I'm going through, this kind of loss isn't uncommon and yet it feels entirely unique to me," she said. "I think you are all heroic for continuing on, I've been in the same pair of pyjamas since yesterday, crying a seemingly endless supply of tears and can't imagine ever leaving my bedroom again.
"So I'm going to take some time off the radio, off performing, off social media, off life. Not for too long, but I need some time. I know you'll all understand."
Em said that although she was concerned about the impact her absence would have on her radio show, she didn't feel able to be funny or entertaining right now.
"I feel like screaming and smashing things with a baseball bat, Beyonce Lemonade style.
"What happened with Ray feels big and raw and something I need to honour and be in the middle of. I'm not going to avoid it or lock it away and power on as if nothing has happened, which I'm prone to doing," she wrote. "I have to get this right so that I can somehow feel whole again, or a version of that. I know that this will forever change me in small and big ways."
Em acknowledged the strength of the women who have gone before her. "To the mothers who have gone through this kind of loss and found a way out of it, I'm in awe of you, I need to know how you got through it because I need to see some light under the door soon," she wrote.
"To our little Ray, you were already so loved by your Mum and Dad and your big sisters. Such an unexpected and welcome surprise for us, I wish we had more time with you, I truly do."
Em has two daughters, Marchella, 15, and Odette, 10, and is married to Scott Barrow. She hosts the 'Em Rusciano and Harley Breen Show' on 2DayFM.