Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Wed June 21, 2017

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Otto Warmbier's family declines autopsy, possibly because they're still alive source: foxnews.com \| share:	28
		The most treacherous battle of World War I was one you've never heard of. It was called the Battle of the Dolomites, and it happened in the mountains of Italy source: smithsonianmag.com \| share:	41
		Police discover that the DC Baseball shooter had enough ammo stored away to sweep the series source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	75

		All caught on dashcam: California deputies pull over wayward llama that escaped from the llama prison and beat it senseless. Just kidding, they rescue it after offering it 'verbal counseling' source: nbcbayarea.com \| share:	26
		The Juicero not dumb enough for you? How about a $400 device that pours hot water over tea leaves? source: gizmodo.com \| share:	95
		Pro-tip: If you are breaking into a house, don't sleep there source: counton2.com \| share:	14
		Mother shocked that airline strands 'teenage' 17-year-old son in airport overnight. Fark: She booked him on Spirit source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	158
		Illinois comptroller: "The state can no longer function without a ...budget without severely impacting our core obligations and decimating services to the state's most in-need citizens." They haven't had a budget for 3 years source: zerohedge.com \| share:	152

		Pun-masters duke it out in Brooklyn at the Punderdome, still can't get their lame submissions greenlit source: pix11.com \| share:	31
(Some Thirsty Guy)		Photoshop these bottles source: eustiu.com \| share:	18
		Ah the groovy Summer of Love in 1967 was the world's greatest hippyfest, but what inspired it besides all the drugs? source: theatlantic.com \| share:	49
		♫The Duke, Duke, Duke... Duke is ill ♪ source: bbc.com \| share:	29
		Michael Brown's family settles their lawsuit with the city of Ferguson, Missouri source: nypost.com \| share:	160
		Man supports and hold hands with his smoking hot wife during her trial for raping and sodomizing her middle school student. Dude needs a wake up call source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	212
		Pete Puma pissed people preempt his pigouts source: gizmodo.com \| share:	13
		Mama Affluenza's bond revoked source: nydailynews.com \| share:	55
		9 year-old has his act together. Saves Mom's life source: koin.com \| share:	16
		Woman rants about wanting to see a white doctor for her son. Since this was in Canada, she had to go on a six-month waiting list source: cbc.ca \| share:	178
		Iowa police closer to finding man who went missing two years ago. One foot closer source: ktvo.com \| share:	9
		Venezuela changes its name to Grand Fenwick source: yahoo.com \| share:	94

Tue June 20, 2017

	Mindblowing 'couch art' pays tribute to Chicago police officer, at least until the dog jumps on it source: wgntv.com \| share:	33
	Calgary residents are encouraged to go swinging by this confused weatherman source: globalnews.ca \| share:	23
	Animal lovers in Britain share ways to keep their doggies and moggies cool during national heat crisis. "A cat appears to be confused at the sight of an ice cube in their bowl of water" source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	54
	Just in time for Nope: Pizza flavored ice cream source: boingboing.net \| share:	37
	Jumping into the Missouri River is not a good escape route from a bank robbery, Mr. Fake Beard bandit source: fox2now.com \| share:	10
	Police investigating after two bodies found at Chattanooga cemetery. Fear more bodies may be found source: newschannel9.com \| share:	21
	NPR explains why you should be playing video games right now source: npr.org \| share:	76
	Student science experiment which launches egg 96,000 feet into the air to study atmosphere deemed an unforgettable success. No word on the success of the follow up egg drop experiment source: king5.com \| share:	18
	Senior student yearbook portrait: "I'm sorry, did my shoulders distract you from reading this quote?" source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	70
	ISIS chief cleric killed by US-led coalition forces. ISIS chief paladin still at large source: foxnews.com \| share:	43
	The new Ken doll will feature corn rows, a beefier bod, and a variety of skin tones. Still no genitalia, though source: apnews.com \| share:	56
	Coast Guard airlifts man with stroke symptoms from cruise ship, over constant protests that he was perfectly fine, he was great, he was the President of the United States source: kiro7.com \| share:	20
	Sanford hit-and-run suspect claims victim 'said she was OK,' claims he only left when she called him a big dummy source: wftv.com \| share:	10
	Fire Controlman 1st Class Gary Rehm, three months short of retirement, saved 20 sailors from a flooding compartment on the Fitzgerald. He drowned after he went back in for the last six of his "kids." "He said, 'If my kids die, I'm going to die.'" source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	128
	Man sets mousetrap to nab mail-stealing neighbor, catches postal worker instead source: nydailynews.com \| share:	25
	Alaskan Orca gangs: Nice boatful of fish you have. It would be a Shamu if something happened to it source: nationalpost.com \| share:	34
	A Texas federal judge has to decide whether a painted body is a nude body after painted Texas dancers are putting up a fight against a $5 entry fee state tax, commonly known as the "pole tax" source: statesman.com \| share:	31
	Photoshop theme: If vacation brochures actually told the truth source: fark.com \| share:	23
	Lucky couple gets back $100,000 in cash they accidentally donated to Goodwill. They then returned to the first season of Better Call Saul source: nypost.com \| share:	16
	Man jailed for doing a poor Michael Jackson impression source: bbc.com \| share:	15
	Even if the shot glasses are just the right size for him, don't bring your infant to a bar. And don't do shots while breastfeeding him there either source: fox59.com \| share:	29
	Thar's gold in them thar hills. Thar's gold miners in them thar bears source: bbc.com \| share:	21
	Please note: if you've recently purchased tomatoes from Food 4 Less, you may want to replace them with others without so much rat in them source: aol.com \| share:	24
	Fark-ready headline: "Why I quit the city and moved to rural France to rear pigs." Not that there's anything wrong with that source: telegraph.co.uk \| share:	21
	Police release dash-cam footage of Philando Castille murder (Warning: Graphic) source: youtube.com \| share:	467
	Americans no longer allowed on North Korean tours, will have to content themselves with less exciting trips to Cambodian minefields, Mexican drug cartel headquarters, or maybe quick jaunts running guns across the Khyber Pass source: aol.com \| share:	104
	I don't want to alarm you or anything, but the Yellowstone supervolcano has been hit by at least 400 earthquakes since June 12 source: newsweek.com \| share:	131
	Chicago Transit Authority:"Ohio will be eliminated" source: boingboing.net \| share:	102
	Snake slithers from hood as pickup travels down highway. Driver and passenger provide hysterical commentary source: wmcactionnews5.com \| share:	29
	You'd think is there was ONE JOB where you would insist your benefits package included health insurance, it would be "Bodyguard for a White Supremacist Internet Troll" source: rawstory.com \| share:	185
(Some Guy)	Study finds that subby has more emergency savings between his couch cushions than 24% of Americans have in their savings account source: moneyish.com \| share:	101
	VA police are now saying that the killing of Muslim girl in Sterling was not a hate crime but "road rage" stemming from a traffic incident, which the family is just a mite skeptical of because she and her friends were ON FOOT at the time source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	145
	I know they say that everything is bigger in Texas but that still doesn't make a lizard look like an alligator source: chron.com \| share:	42
	Photoshop theme: Normal household items suddenly gain sentience source: fark.com \| share:	22
	Russian fighter jet comes within 5 feet of US reconnaissance plane over Baltic Sea. No word if Tom Cruise was 'communicating' or 'keeping up foreign relations' source: thehill.com \| share:	48
	Brussels train station explosion sees suspect 'with explosives belt' shot by troops as passengers flee source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	131
	This just in: new study shows that men cheat because they just can't resist hot chicks source: nypost.com \| share:	111
	The US banned the depiction of living people on currency in 1866 after a treasury superintendent decided to put his own portrait on a five-cent note source: atlasobscura.com \| share:	27
	Big collection of Nazi artifacts found in Argentina, but no soup recipes source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com \| share:	74
	10 year-old develops tool for saving kids left in hot cars. It automatically tasers the parents if they accidentally lock their car with a kid inside - and then makes the parents stand in the corner with a dunce cap source: telegraph.co.uk \| share:	77
	Man legally changes his last name to Trump. No plans yet to begin 24/7 tweeting source: cbs7.com \| share:	29
	Work detail guard collapses. Prisoners immediately escape. Just kidding, they perform CPR and call an ambulance source: news4jax.com \| share:	69
	Mugshot of the day brought to you by Gold Glove homeowner source: abc11.com \| share:	44
	New Hampshire teens attack Boston favorite "Keytar Bear". So this is how the Civil War starts source: whdh.com \| share:	56
	Mysterious time capsule found in Florida. No one knows what's in it, but since it was found under a 106-year-old statue of a Confederate soldier, we can assume it's instructions on what to do once the South Rises Again source: wftv.com \| share:	84
	If we ban smartphones for children under 13 then only criminals under 13 will have smartphones source: slate.com \| share:	124
	Washington State Police to clamp down on the scourge of our times. That's right, left lane campers, your time has come source: king5.com \| share:	262
	Why is an elderly man stealing plants from my garden at 2:30am? source: oldham-chronicle.co.uk \| share:	33
	Nothing says good luck like a dried lizard penis source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	20
	British English. It's not all codswallop. Balderdash to the left. Wazzocks to the right source: bbc.com \| share:	75
	You witness a shooting in a restaurant with your daughter. Do you a) duck for cover under the table b) run out the emergency door c) order the suspect to the ground and keep him there until police arrive. Fark: WITHOUT A WEAPON source: foxnews.com \| share:	84
	Bo Dukes indicted. Luke, Uncle Jesse last seen leaving Cooter's place source: 11alive.com \| share:	39
	EF-0 tornado touches in Maryland. EF-0? So, what, some hummingbirds were flying in a circle or something? Good luck with the rebuild, guys source: wtop.com \| share:	84
	Carjacker foiled by own stupidity of not knowing how to drive a manual shift car source: news.com.au \| share:	115
	Steve Bannon, on why White House briefings are now routinely held off-camera: "Sean got fatter" source: theatlantic.com \| share:	182
	Zima is back source: beerstreetjournal.com \| share:	118
	Plus-size model poses in bathing suit to 'offend' body-shamers, actually looks great in it source: msn.com \| share:	292
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these empty clothes source: i1.lrimg.com \| share:	24
	Corporate owners of "Captain Morgan" rum are a little suspicious of rival product "Admiral Nelson." Judge orders duel with pistols at ten paces source: theglobeandmail.com \| share:	137
	British tourists find out they can't claim 'food poisoning' from the resort's buffet after ordering 109 drinks while on holiday source: metro.co.uk \| share:	51
	Grandma "enraged" that when paying $400 instead of $3000 for a plane ticket, you have to share a lavatory with the poors in coach source: msn.com \| share:	164
	It's very rewarding to adopt a senior dog because they're already housebroken, they don't need much exercise, and they get movie tickets at discount prices source: mnn.com \| share:	47
(Some Guy)	An army of cats protects a museum. "We knock more things off of desks, shelves, and tables before 9 AM than most people do in a day" source: dhakatribune.com \| share:	63
	In Maine it's perfectly legal to catch too many fish and dump the rotting carcasses of the ones you don't want in the bay source: bangordailynews.com \| share:	27
	Australian man fined for kicking the quokka, and no, that's not some bizarre Down Under expression for wanking source: abc.net.au \| share:	32
	Some folk'll never steal a toe, but then again some folk'll (severed human toe image warning) source: cbc.ca \| share:	37
	Former Kentucky & NBA star Rex Chapman writes a moving story about his addiction to opioids. Addiction sucks. So does Duke source: si.com \| share:	29

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