We know John Singleton only cares about Coasties, and all power to him, but surely at least retired investment banker Mark Carnegie has bashful moments as one-half of a perennial tyre-kicking alliance. I mean really, these two have now written to Fairfax Media's board, a company already in full takeover talks with two serious parties, requesting access to the data room so they can buy (back) Macquarie Radio Network.
Where do you even start? Access to Fairfax's data room, with no funding secured for an offer, so they can secure funding for an offer. Oh, that's how it works! And wait, wasn't Carnegie Hellman & Friedman's big-name local banker on its bid for Fairfax? Obviously not!
But if they only want MRN, of which the pair already own nearly 41 per cent of, what do they need The Illawarra Mercury's latest sales data for? They have a nominee director, Singleton Group chief executive Louise McCann, on the MRN board!
Deal-making by pub coaster. All that's missing is the tax-deductible lunch.
We've seen this play before. Singo and Carnegie bought a whopping 0.15 per cent of Fairfax for a takeover in December 2012 in which they generously shared equal headlines with Gina Rinehart, who had 15 per cent. But the Iron Ore Lady lost interest and our then chairman Roger Corbett felt unable to accept Monopoly money. Singo and Carnegie were taking over Qantas too but they never stumped up the loot – not even at 99¢ a share (the airline's stock closed at $5.51 on Monday).
Perhaps next the daring duo can launch a raid on BHP, buying shares in a fantasy trading competition and teaming up with Paul Singer? Or perhaps stalk Network Ten, offering its embattled shareholders wheelie bins full of bottle tops (subject to Gosford's container recycling centre being granted access to Ten's books)? We're hearing from the sports section of The Daily Telegraph that Singo has already stitched up a cornerstone stake in Aramco when it goes public. You know, the bloke has just outgrown Australia's old media small-caps.
