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Apr 11

Day After Tomorrow

20 Comments »

Holy Hollerith!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. But crucifying is OK!

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.10 out of 10)
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Mar 27

Ruby Flames

19 Comments »

Who you callin Puss n Boots?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Release Notes for Catware 3.7:

– Reduced shedding by 15%
– Catpeople can now wield glaives, halberds, and Beretta AR70s
– Removed ridiculous names from Author Name Generator
– Tail toggle added to preferences
– Text correction: mages cast ‘fireball’, not ‘hairball’
– Runaway reproduction issue now fixed

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.08 out of 10)
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Jul 13

Heaven Cent

18 Comments »

Who knew... Keith makes such a good boat!Click for full image

JaunPaul Comments: The cloud is Piers Anthony, perving over his naked under-aged protagonists.
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.05 out of 10)
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Feb 29

The Iron Dream

43 Comments »

Decked out in leather... on space rocket cycle... I don't think that particular dream got through. Click for full image

Noel’s Art Direction: I want a nice subtle cover. Nothing too controversial.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.57 out of 10)
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Feb 24

Daniel X: Demons and Druids

16 Comments »

Daneil IX didn't make it...Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth’s Art Direction: We haven’t any more time to spend on your ‘drawing the main character’ rubbish, there are 117 layers of rainbow-coloured lacquer to slap on the cover before we put it to bed!
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.57 out of 10)
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Feb 11

Monster Hunter Alpha

27 Comments »

I'm confused. Who's the Monster? Who's the Hunter?Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: To their surprise, it was Gerald’s father who insisted on chaperoning, not Nadine’s.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Jan 08

The Girl Who Was Plugged In

18 Comments »

Warning: Plugging in may cause jaundice!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Ah sure… this is on the back of the book no one will see it. Just put a greased woman on there. Though I’ve just got a new arty thing on my computer… lets mess around with a few fonts!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.27 out of 10)
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Sep 16

Wolf Who Rules

34 Comments »

Just hold on a jolly good second... that's.... no... WOLF!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Nothing screams ‘good book’ like the phrase ‘Coupon Inside!’
Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Apr 08

Lady of the Bees

25 Comments »

The plume of smoke was later arrested for indecent touching... Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Now THAT’S what I call a smoking hot body! I’ll get my coat.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.38 out of 10)
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Mar 15

Crown of Slaves

33 Comments »

In space... no one really wants to hear that anyway....Click for full image

Rachel R Comments: We apologize, ladies and gentlemen, but due to pilot fatigue we will be rerouting from our original destination Planet Professionalism to make a stop at the Space Station of Sleazy Symbolism.
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.35 out of 10)
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