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Jun 15

Honourable Mentions 16

22 Comments »

It has been a while since we’ve had an Honourable Mention post, so following are some of the recent doozies that didn’t meet our strict, fiercely-enforced rules for cover submissions. Enjoy!

Doctor PooClick for larger image

Leah Comments: I know it’s a tie-in, but this is definitely worthy of an Honorable Mention. That lettering is not actually black, it is bright orange metallic foil. I think it says a great deal that the picture is an accurate depiction of the featured aliens.

 

 

What's keeping the pyramids from falling off?Click for larger image

Leah Comments: Another Honorable-Mention-worthy tie-in. Working title: ‘Attack of the Fifty-Foot Fop’.

 

I just 'chat' myselfCliquez pour enlever le mouton

Joachim Comments: A French cat woman? There’s so much wrong with this cover.

 

 

A screaming comes across my eyesClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: I don’t think it’s technically science fiction. But Lordy, is this a bad cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Apr 04

Planet of Whispers

38 Comments »

Blurb writer to editor: No, I wrote 'The lionlike people CAN hold a secret...'Click for full image

Victoria Poyser Comments: I swear the art editor told me over the phone to do a cover for “Planet of Whiskers.”

Published 1985

Thanks to Wendy for sending this in

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.27 out of 10)
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Mar 27

Ruby Flames

19 Comments »

Who you callin Puss n Boots?Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Release Notes for Catware 3.7:

– Reduced shedding by 15%
– Catpeople can now wield glaives, halberds, and Beretta AR70s
– Removed ridiculous names from Author Name Generator
– Tail toggle added to preferences
– Text correction: mages cast ‘fireball’, not ‘hairball’
– Runaway reproduction issue now fixed

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Mar 15

Cathouse

30 Comments »

Guys, when you asked if I'd like my bachelor party in a cathouse, I was thinking of something different.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: “This cover is a work of art! A triumph! Baen’s crowning achievement! And to celebrate gentlemen, I give you: collectible miniature figurines!”

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.18 out of 10)
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Mar 14

The Homing Pigeons

18 Comments »

Sequel to 'Schrödinger's Cat II: Electromagnetic Boogaloo'Click for full image

JuanPaul Comments: An artist with a mac and photoshop is put in a box and instructed to illustrate either a cat or a human woman. Until the box is opened and the artwork is observed by the outside world, the artist has created both a cat and a woman.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.44 out of 10)
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Oct 12

Journey from Flesh

16 Comments »

In Russia, cat person paints you! - Yermakov SmirnoffClick for full image

Raoul Comments: How much longer do I have to sit posing? Your lizard is killing me.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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Jul 19

Firebird

12 Comments »

David Coverdale, SpacecatClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: And after her new Cat Husband carried her across the threshold she kissed him under those two spectacular balls.

You might remember this re-purposed cover art from here.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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May 23

Cat’s Gambit

23 Comments »

Jack-in-the-Box neck guy ... BEHIND YOU!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: I know a cat person who needs a gun safety lecture.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.84 out of 10)
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May 06

The Slaadikaar War

29 Comments »

We need an elite team... best get Space Pope!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I know what you’re all saying… “This book doesn’t count! It’s clearly self-published!” Well I found in a legit bookstore, dammit, so I say it counts!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.07 out of 10)
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Jan 29

Cat’s Pawn

33 Comments »

These two guys? They're my cat spawn.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Got my neck chain, my walkin’ stick and my entourage. Let’s go prowling!
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.70 out of 10)
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