Slipping seamlessly into the flow of everyday Japan requires a little preparation. There’s no need to fold yourself into an origami pretzel but respect, patience and a smattering of the local body language will dynamically enrich your travel experience in this deeply cultural, often quirky and endlessly fascinating land.
SIMPLY GOOD MANNERS
1. Pay it back. The locals are extremely polite and you should be too. Saying ‘konichiwa’ (g’day), ‘konbanwa’ (good evening), ‘sumimasen’ (excuse me) and ‘arigato’ (thank you) will be much appreciated.
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2. Hands by your sides. Traditionally people gently bow on greeting. It’s polite to return the gesture but being overzealous can cause insult so mirror the approximate angle to keep you in the safe zone.
3. Back seat driver.Taxi drivers have two basic rules — sit in the back unless there’s no room and don’t touch the door handles — back doors open automatically.
4. Shoes off.In Japanese homes, certain temple precincts and more traditional restaurants and businesses you’ll be required to remove footwear before entering — leaving impurities at the door. Theft is rare — your shoes are safe. Further elude fashion crimes by wearing clean, hole-free socks.
5. Hush now. Switch your mobile phone’s sound off and avoid taking phone calls when in restaurants, shops and on public transport. If you must pick up then whisper!
6. Cover up. Be respectful when visiting sacred sites, temples and shrines — avoid skimpy clothes, flash photography and speaking too loudly.
7. Don’t go empty-handed. When invited to someone’s home take a gift, preferably food or drink, which has been lovingly packaged — it doesn’t need to be expensive but avoid something easily sourced from a supermarket. Department store food halls are your best bet.
8. Subtlety is a virtue. Japanese people aren’t cut from a tactile cloth. Tapping someone on the shoulder can result in a startling three-point turn in a special combination of leap, squeal and ‘please-don’t-shoot’ face. Never, ever grab a Geisha to gain her attention for a photo. If the situation feels right you can politely gesture and you may be granted permission. A gentle ‘sumimasen’ can work a treat.
9. Sniff and stifle. Blowing your nose and sneezing are considered impolite so hold it if you can until you are in private. Those folk wearing surgical masks around town are not forgetful doctors but locals avoiding, or helping you to avoid, becoming ill during flu season.
10. Perseverance pervades. Many locals speak more English than they initially let on. Smile, be friendly, buy your neighbour a drink and you never know where the conversation will lead.
11. Beg to differ. There is no culture of bargaining in Japan, however, occasionally flea markets are open to polite lower offers.
12. Off-side. If someone makes a cross with their wrists in front of their chest it means — you can’t do that! Or stop!
13. What about me? When gesturing towards yourself point to the tip of your nose instead of your chest.
14. Don’t be tardy for the party. Don’t be early either — especially when dining. Right on time is the name of the game. If the local trains can do it then so can you.
DINING’S CRYPTIC CODE
1. Only chants. ‘Irasshaimase’ is that word you hear, often loudly and in unison, upon entering restaurants — there’s no need to respond to this welcome but it’s an opportunity to smile appreciatively setting the tone for the night.
2. There’s a chair in there. Be aware that some traditional restaurants (and most homes) require you to sit on the floor to eat. If your dodgy back won’t handle it then speak up immediately — often there’s an emergency seat on hand for the elderly or the injured.
3. First things first. Shortly after you are seated, drink (nomimono) orders will be taken. It’s not a push you get you out in a hurry — they simply want to ensure you are comfortable for pondering the menu.
4. I’ll have what they’re having. If colleagues copy the boss’s order be sure to follow suit.
5. Dirty habits. Always use the provided oshibori (wet towel) to wipe your hands before eating.
6. Bottoms up! When sharing a flask of sake or bottled wine with friends — pour each other’s drinks. Don’t serve yourself unless sipping with good mates and always cheers ‘Kampai!’ before you start.
7. Hot water. The legal drinking age in Japan is 20. Avoid breaking the law by sticking with the delicious free tea.
8. No smoke without fire. Non-smokers should note that some restaurants and bars still permit smoking. Smokers should note that puffing anything other than cigarettes comes with a side of jail time. Just ask Paul McCartney.
9. Wax on. Some restaurants display wax models of menu items in their window — if no English is spoken simply point to whatever floats your boat!
10. Gently does it. Although tempting to order every delicious izakaya share plate at once — try holding off. Request just a few dishes at a time, eat and repeat for a gold star.
11. Early appreciation. Say ‘itadakimasu’ before you commence imbibing and you’ll earning brownie points. It might seem that no-one’s noticed — but they have. If the word looks too hard — faintly mumbling ‘eat a duck you must’ will get you a pass.
12. Wooden you know it. Pointing, poking, waving about, impaling tasty morsels and styling hair are chopstick (ohashi) no-nos. When not eating put your ‘hush’ together neatly on the provided ‘rest’ or the side of your bowl. Only at a funeral should you see chopsticks standing upright in a dish or items being passed between them so beware the ultimate faux pas.
13. Slurping good time. Enjoying that bowl of noodles? Then make some noise!
14. Cheque mate. Ready to pay for your meal? Simply make a small cross with your index (pointer) fingers so the server can see it. Be warned that in some parts of Japan cash is very much the preferred currency.
15. Gotcha some attention. Saying Arigato to your hosts is a given — but a genuine ‘Gochiso-sama-deshita’ as you leave will seriously acknowledge the team’s efforts and put you in good stead for return visits.
16. Fond farewells. In fancy joints it’s not uncommon for the chef to exit their restaurant and bow in thanks as you leave. They are generally obliged to retain their stance until you are out of sight so don’t linger — but do turn to nod returning thanks just before stepping out of view.
17. Do the right thing. It’s considered poor form to eat, even an ice cream, while walking unless in the park or at a market. Most ‘holes in walls’ will provide a bench seat — use it and return any rubbish to the shopkeeper if there’s no bin in sight.
18. Top Tip. It’s simple — don’t tip! Knowing they’ve done their best is reward enough for the Japanese.
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