Hi guys. The internet at Raymbecca’s is slow or something’s just up this weekend with it I dunno I can’t do my regular multi-youtube blasting pictures uploading nonsense at the same time so I will just have to give you these scraps I I previously uploaded then got over the desire to blog yesterday. I hate prefacing posts with pointless explanations no one cares about but “oh well”.

We went on an eating tour of Toronto. Eating is both an activity and a destination. It was nice to hang with my breastie. We are so similar it’s not even funny.

Before Cardinal Rule which was before Salvador Darling, their 4 year anniversary. Now that was a scene. Perfectly slammed, rammed, jammed. Being dressed like an incognito neato spy as I was gave my night’s personal experience the right kind of panache. Dudes I just make this shit up as I go along I don’t even know what I am typing anymore lol.

Oh, fantastic. Blinked in like every picture yesterday. We made it as far as the Lakeview (after previously eating at the Drake) before we were like okay lets go back for a nap why all this walking for we should be conserving for the night. We couldn’t even nap because Brad then Sergio dropped in but I think lying down resting counts. We watched House Bunny. My first official article rolls out tomorrow by the way. When I send my stuff I sit and wait like this O_O or that o_o??? It’s a relief to not hear back from them because that means it was good and they’re going with it. Wonder what I’ll write about next?

Bech looks hot Asian.

Took in Igby Lizard’s show too. It was awesome.

That is a serious couple of looks going on. I think I need a makeover. Or, have to stop dressing like I don’t give a shit. Or it’s fine to have a uniform? I find the simpler I dress the crazier I can act.

Katie hooked me up with this I was like you have no idea how significant this even is HAHA. Guys like me can’t go blond (ever again) and here is why.

I love Halloween month. Peeps use all kinds of props and ish and you just don’t interfere.

Eating flowers.

Something about my hair this weekend I reminds me of Scooby Doo, the nerd girl from it, or that one feminist cartoon by Mike Judge, starts with a D, can’t place it there do the rest please.

Me as Yoko. Right? That’s my favourite one of Rebecca’s paintings. I think my outfit is perfect for an art party. I think I am done talking now. Have a nice day!

How clever am I with that title? Shh. Don’t even try to disagree. Full on cerebral attack. When your language turns in to gabblity gook and peeps start understanding it, what does that say about them then? So I will just own my freak flag if people call me one anyway right? Anyway it’s a play on blogstalking deriving from Pippi Longstocking.

I am the most interesting person you will ever meet. I heard that said about me, from one normie to another, yes I met Raymi and she was, pause pause pause, really interesting. Then the other leapt to my defense and said BUT she has a huge following AND BUT (a cause for a double but now! How unique is this creature exactly?) THEY LISTEN TO HER.

I fluff up my feathers.

What day is this, September still? Everything changes in the fall. Not just the weather. Our clothing, temperaments. Happiness maybe turns to glum from acceptance of the fate of the upcoming months of coldness ahead. Canadians are patient people, I like them. Yes, I like us. We get the teeniest slice of tropical climate and then it goes away and we wait for it again. It is poetic in that it involves suffering. Yes, I suffer from the weather maybe because I allow myself to. I just know that sun is where it’s at and then it’s like middle earth grey sky covered in ash, bleak and cold icing on top, for the majority of the years of my life. Yes I want to live in LA. I hear hipsters and artists eventually become miserable there too, but how will I ever know if I never go? I’ve lived all kinds of places and I’ve sacrificed one lifestyle for another in pursuit of “my dream”.

I digress. No, ramble. Using both makes me look smart.

Speaking of that. I was thinking maybe I should write more and spend less time hiccuping burps and 140 character thoughts at a time on twitter, get better at my writer’s craft. Every time there are Raymi mob lynchings they all say the same thing, my writing. JUST WRITE DICKHEAD. OKAY FINE.

Put it all in one place. I will see how long I can go in one browser only. I bet a lot of you can relate. e-late. Yes you get it.

I was called a con-artist in the last great Raymi bashing war of 2012. No, it was a direct vomment hit. But anyway I never forgot it and I think of it as a treasure because 1. It made me look at myself and 2. what is the internet if not but one giant opportunity to convince everyone that you are wittier, smarter and cooler than everybody else and we are ALL in a race for it people. Then if I am a con-artist that means I am smart, right? Con-artists are smart. Yes? What is my con? Being a fucking idiot? Swish! Getting people to hate me? Done. But, I take that as another giant victory because at least I got people to look at me, anything-me, something-me. Getting on to radars alone is important. I am evidence of this.

I was going to tweet con-artism made easy. Or as fine art, call it a day (Ray) but then thought oh no, too cryptic, what does she mean? All my frenemies will be like FUCK YOU RAYMI. Dee sent me a post she wrote once about worrying about what other people think of you, read it. When people give you advice, take it.

Anyway, I am an advisor for She’s Connected again. I’ve been thinking about what that means exactly, am I talking again? Okay well here are my advisements anyway:

Be nice to people. Don’t talk shit about other women because you point a big fat red arrow over your bitchy unhappy fucking head. Be real. Don’t ring lead or bully. Give credit where it’s do. Passive aggression is pathetic so always always call it out when it’s happening. Don’t let people push you around. Be confident and learn how to wade through this cut-throat vicious idea-stealing, brand grass-cutting toxic arena. Swim away from the sharks and you be you.

It is part of my duty to make you think you can be me. Don’t be me, be better than me. What I mean is, you have to do everything to be everything to get everything, these days. Lots of talking, game playing. Playing the game, game play. Agency wooing. Reputation over-smoothing, schmoozing. Yes, it is a lot. But those are the rules. Break some of them. Break hearts. Take names. Come with adequate table stakes. You can change. You don’t have to do what everybody else does and you can do it by doing what they tell you not to do. Impress yourself first and don’t come in last.

Kay bye.

Time to flex my feminist misogynist muscles now. Wish me luck because I am writing crazy blog rants instead of finishing my draft.

Mom link my blawg on your youtube in case it goes viral/nowhere ahaha that was awesome I just laughed the entire way through from the audio alone. We were whispering cats only because my mom said that first like I was going to break in to sporadic MOM’S TURN now on camera or something, sha-right. So to mock her back I whispered cats only too. Everything else that is eccentric I cannot explain after that.

After all this playing they all passed out cos thay so tiny! I napped with them but it was hard not staring at them because I knew on the other side of my eyelid was a PILE OF KITTENS DOZING AWAY. They are $900 a piece. I am like get out of town about that, but seriously, $800-$900 depending on fug-cute ratio + colouration. They’re maine coons. They can turn in to alligator-size have fun. There are three adult ones + Dugan (The stud) that make these kittens once a year. He is a maniac. Slashed open my Nana’s hand once with his rooster talon claw. The imagery makes me wanna vom. Kay bye. Please buy one so Janet stops going bananers from the 13 cats in the house. Oh and by the way the ugly one is actually the cute one IMO.

I love War Horse. I mean, I hate war and I hate horses but put them together and you have something great! I think? I like plays and entertainment and stuff. (I love war films though by the way! I am a conundrum!)

Also, here is wind in my hair. Wind, people. Wind.

Continue reading →

Hi everybody. It’s funny how Attention Deficit Disorder can totally– I can barely finish that sentence!

I always look like carbage when we go on the vespa. It didn’t really make sense to do my hair before all that. Some guys like girl scruffs anyway. Scruff Life. Also I find that some of the hottest girls are disgustng slobs in real life most of the time. Like why gym rats always wear jogging pants. It’s so obnoxious and in your face. Here is this giant dickhead who eats sleeps dreams breaths gym, cloaked in basketball jogging pants that look like a giant tent. It makes me think of youth. And University. I have a University boner because I never went. I was jinxed at birth with giftedness and needn’t to learn no more. Maybe I will go back to school like Rodney Dangerfield. Just so I can do a back flip off a series of diving boards and impress a barely attractive smartly dress distinguished woman. Wow next thought please.

My hair looks like a number seven at you.

My messy hair looks the same as the birds. My right nostril is bigger than my left. GREAT WHAT’S NEXT. Trust me this blog post is going to be really amazing. Really really. I think I am having a love affair with hating blogging right now or I am just satiated that I have a couple new work gigs (Playboy + something else :)) so I can “just chill” but I think do I have to keep going with my blog or have I blogged enough? If people want new news daily, maybe they can just wait? I think bloggers who blog less than me grapple with the need for daily blog postings, of the why bother? sort.

Checkered shirt, checkered hat. Check.

Before or after Demi/Ashton split? The answer is integral to my wanting to watch this gotta ba bona fide mega hit flick. What could it even be about!??? Don’t tell me!

Continue reading →

I’d rather post this particular Q&A on my blog where I can control everything. Muahaha. I actually also would like to extend a kudos-inspired shout out to my haters right now because you’ve “been good” lately and I truly appreciate it. I don’t want to be fighting all the time or be pissed off, hurt, sensitive, defensive (your favourite) so thank you in advance for canning it and just watching the show. It’s not over yet. You know I’m a big believer in not fucking with nature, just let it roll and see how it pans out on its own. I’m a choose your own adventure type. Any teeny ripple in the matrix can lead one’s stream this way or that coursing over rocks in the riverbed called life so thank you for letting me crash my own “slowest moving trainwreck in Toronto”, much obliged. Love Ronald McBlogald.

“An Open Letter to Haters”

One of the things that came up in your interview is your thoughts on all the haters out there, who have nothing but criticism for your blog. What would you say to all the haters of your work, and all the haters out there in general? And what words of encouragement would you give to people who want to share their lives with others in a similar way to you?

I’ve always “been hated” but I am smart enough to know the true meanings behind it and it doesn’t really hurt me all that much at all. If you’re successful then you have haters. It just sucks for them that they’re not doing anything for themselves in this world than torment some chick who invented a niche for herself and inspires so many others to do the same, to lead fun lives and achieve goals. What a waste of time focusing all of that negative jealous energy. Lately they’ve been hush-hush as I’ve enforced a zero tolerance approach to haters – disarm, delete, ignore. They are nothing to me and are nothing but negative trash purposely trying to bring me down to their level and distract me from my game, so I delete and ban them, sometimes ban them from even accessing my blog period. They know this by now so they just shut up and enjoy the show because if they lip me off again, more banning. I am on the internet for my friends, my long time internet friends and fans and there is so much work to do everyday I really cannot afford to piss away my time fighting with assholes who have nothing better to do or this is the best they can do. I invite people to all of my events, come meet me, have a “discussion” to my face if you feel so fucking strongly because this is the free time I have alloted for bloggy time extracurriculars, but no they prefer darkness and shadows and that’s why I am famous and they aren’t.

How I felt in May. How I feel now, there are more things to say but for now, Bye from Ray.

Where were we now. Oh right. I ran up 6 flights of stairs to get Madonna tickets after biking like a madwoman across town to Amy’s to get my new crazy pants so I biked in a big triangle from Libville to The Juncsh to D/T back to Libville. As I was hoofing it up the stairs I saw stars as I shook my head and laughed at myself for my stup-cray-idity. Any opportunity to get the maximum workout bonus points, take. This is the view from half way up.

This is me almost fainting out of a window. Splat.

What’s up girl. All her hair is cut off now, looks great.

MMM vodka cucumbers. Not a smart lunch snack because they truly do absorb all that up.

I’ve had these uploaded awhile, I don’t remember if I blogged them yet. I don’t think I did.

I am going to continue on my non-cheese diet. Maybe. There can always be exceptions made, rules broken. I am a pig.

Don’t wear it out.

I think I’m getting sick. I delude myself that I’m not until I am full-blown sick. It’s in my throat. Great. Send juice.

Killigrew tees I be lovin’ ‘em.

Your face makes me LOL. J/k I couldn’t think of anything else.

Continue reading →