As we know I’ve been blogging for a long ass time and in the time that my blog ages, so does your hero. Sad but true but it’s all about maintenance and upkeep. Look at my grown ass niece. And Heather, she’s my bestie who used to read this stupid blog for years and now she’s mine. Magical, magical, that blogging tho.
We spent the day after my bday hobnobbing around Queen West, the mall, mimosas, brunch, shopping, back to the hotel for martinis and nachos then went to see a movie (Get Out) which I passed out during a good portion of the “best part” so I will have to see it again.
Here is that same pic without filters, I don’t look so bad considering haha. The trick is to extend your checkout to 2pm and sleep every second up to that. I think I recall babbling at one point before it was lights out and my mom or someone goes, Lauren, you’re asleep, shut up. Hahahhaa. Heather did that happen?
My niece has a big heart. That’s her giving some change to the dude.
As you can see I wanted to do sweet f all for my bday. I got a full time job yo plus I’m a date machine right now, it’s killing me. I rented a movie then my mom showed up, then Hailey, then Heather, then my second wind showed up too. Mostly I wanted to provide a space for us to all chill and be ourselves and counsel my niece whom I don’t see enough. This is how you stay forever young, remain childlike and try to have fun. It’s hilarious this one hater attacks and attacks me and will no doubt chime some bullshit on her twitter after seeing the time my fam and I had. I hate haters. Like, you’re such a disease. The gift I wanted most of all was to see my niece happy. It wasn’t about me and making fun of us for “acting like toddlers” you are a sad ugly creature and you don’t know fun, never have.
Great photos all taken by my mother as usual, thanks mummsy.
It started like this though. All I wanted was a burger. I actually had a chill, the curtains were drawn my mom was like uhhhm? When I initially checked in alone I felt like a cliche but also a sense of independence and thrill at being alone for a couple of hours for a luxurious nap.
Heather and her sparkle boots won the weekend.
More examples of how much I didn’t care I packed the dumbest shit to wear. This was Sunday, went for a walk with a friend.
Want.
New clothes help shake the fog of winter off y’all. And if it says babe on my shirt people might think that I am one.
Tess brought me that hat to work. The sprad we had to dine on from Cheese Boutique was phenomenal thanks again. You shouldn’t really gloat about your bday at work but I did it for my fans. If I didn’t acknowledge the milestone of my birthday every year in some obnoxious way you would feel sad for me. I realy don’t care about my bday. right.
Hi mom. Nice shot.
We were hot messes after checkout and had to fix our situation. Thanks Heather.
Yeah I’m gonna need to get that taken in.
Brunch was so fun.
These are out of order because that’s how I get them from my mom’s facebook. Nothing changes.
Artsy.
One guy brought me up cake when my mom sad it was my bday, did not request (I don’t like cake tbh – gasp) but anyway he was swell you’ll see a picture soon.
So adorbs. Love you three dummies. xoxox
Lol.
We do have a beautiful city.
Hahahahaha.
My mom’s Facebook was lit this night. I am hesistant to post some of these best-ofs. Its’ funny how you “change” your approach to blogging exposure.
Pretty nice.
Pretty nice too. Heather fits in with my fam like, I didn’t even have to do anything it was great and seamless and it’s nice to have another Auntie for Hailey. Jesus take the wheel!
It was cold. DT is a legit wind tunnel all about that area jeez.
We had a wonderful time taking photos and changing costumes. I am very lucky to have a friend like Heathe who has lots of head accessories and love and makeup and life.
Hello my demographic. Now that I’m midway through the process of over-analyzing what blogging is and my approach to it, I’m prepared to dip my toes in the water and you are invited along for the swim.
I’m going to keep my captions as minimal af to get through it. I’m not going to say things, explain things. I will omit. I’ve a lot going on, I have been busy and work-focused and yes it is harder to personally blog when you have a FT but because I’m a “mood based” blogger, emotional, and ultimately not phony, I can’t fake it. I get pleasure from this so if I am miserable in real life I cannot do this. I need to be inspired.
A blog is a mirror of your life. My friend, who is also a famous blogger, told me she is an emotional mute when it comes to business, referring to her blog, she just gets’er done. Which I fucking admire. I haven’t left the game I’ve just let it gather time, space, and change. The last year of my life has seen much, I can’t even.
I was just speaking to a writer, an editor, who said he loves his privacy. He is also a fan of mine. From a distance. I said by the time you write about someone they can already be gone. Well actually, here is the entire chat transcript because yolo. I’m bold. As well as my writing is the writing in bold.
Sounds nice
Yeah. I’m a morning person
I like to get up and do creative work early with a coffee
I’m a writer / editor
Editing in the afternoons
I lurked you know
I*
sorry my laptop is ancient sometimes letters i type dont make the cut
Im actually planning to write today
blog. its been ages
Hahaha, don’t worry. I totally understand phantom letters
Oh cool!
I’m a total fan
The way you capture the version of a life.
I admire your storytelling
thanks. it has been so long now that i overthink it. i usually write about normal to crazy things but in my manner i feel like people get caught up in the emotion, as they should, but i feel too exposed.
i should just do it and think less
anyway we will see how it pans out
Interesting
Exposure is a price, certainly
i just came up with my blog title
People like a story, tell it.
I couldn’t do what you do for that very reason
yeah u have to omit a lot of things
I like my privacy too much
I just want to keep my job
I can imagine
lol
HAHAHA, of course
I am just so comfortable with anonymity
I’d never want to lose it
well why the hell are you talking to me then
HAHAHA
You spoke to me first!
I’m sticking to that
life moves so fast by the time u want to write about someone they can already be gone
but yeah u can own it raymi followed your breadcrumbs (he liked my picture first, fact)
Oh I’ve definitely felt that
Actually, I find it easier to write about people / experiences that are deeper in the rearview
I need the time to tell myself the story over and over again
For it to get interesting
well they always come back to me and see ive written about them
or it feels like it
carries more weight
plus everyone knows everyone in this town.
so if i hang out with someone theyre like oh i know them, then go find out everything
or im paranoid
I find time shrinks the town
I’ve been here 20 years
And I know more people than Id like now
yeah
u have to like duck behind dumpsters and hydrants
to avoid
Hahahaha
Nah, I’m thoroughly uninteresting I think
And aim to keep it that way!
hmmm
something tells me youre not uninteresting
One of the team is going away for awhile to travel, see the world, all that, so the week was spent (drinking) saying goodbye. I’ll feature all the pics of the goodbye pub party soon. I love my work fam.
Creepy. The overcast sky, ew. Not to be religious but isn’t it like playing with fire to destroy a church? A couple churches burned down in my hometown before by delinquants. If one believed in God they might fear death a little more if they demolished a church?
I work in Lesbianville, I mean Leslieville, sorry, am I that guy who is still making tasteless politically incorrect jokes…actaully I kinda am. I work with younger people and live with even younger people. I’ll be like sitting with them in the livingroom and their friends after work in my corporate clothes and it’s just pure jokes. I feel like I have lived many lives and it’s a thrill to live another one again and basically be Peter Pan forever. SOMEONE has to tell these kids what’s up. It keeps me young.
Kelly Bundy outfit day at work. I am going to go get some new office duds and by “new” I mean I’m going to Value Village and targeting fugly (adorable) eurotrash patterned, crazy loud sweaters to pop my collar through. I like to dorkify myself. What is wrong with me? An old friend of mine, when worked in an office, used to rock hilarious dress shirts and vest combinations… it commands respect and is a delight to the eyes. I just want to look like Frida fucking Kahlo goes to the circus.
Who else feels like they have to stay super busy or they’re going to explode? I think that is a good way to be, creatively ADD, to live a life like a painting, feverishly consuming one experience after another. We are like animals. Each night the sun goes down it comes up again and we rise to take on another thing to conquer, victory to achieve, level to rise. We always have to do better and build our little empires like ants who don’t know the apocalypse is coming.
If you maintain the ability to be enchanted by life then you will be alright.
I’ve decided to come out from under my rock and do things that I want to do again. See my friends. Be more social. Make new friends. New friends is where it’s at I am addicted to people. As much as I need my alone time. Anyway enough about me.
I have been told that what is wrong with me is my pleasure diet is too high but how much are you supposed to listen to what others say about you specifically that of old bastards. We all choose how we live our lives right? I indulge and then I like, starve. I don’t mind suffering as I am conditioned to it but I know that it makes the sweet all the sweeter.
Now that is one well done sausage.
How prophetic although I doubt they meant about the february heat wave we experienced last week.
Spotted in Yorkville. Someone’s Valentine’s Day was lit.
Greatest place ever. Authentic. I am all about escapes. I’m a culture sponge.
Beauty.
There’s a pub near work that has a donair on the menu cos they’re all Nova Scotians. Sick find bro. Although this meat isn’t legit thinly sliced and more of a “meatloaf” and it’s always a joy to watch the chef with his huge (un-netted) beard make it I mean, it’s a giant beard, long and scraggly and out of control but I am too shy to say anything. I will just calmly wait to find hair in my donair.
I am not one for desserts but this one I allow because I am a doormat. It’s a banana peanut butter pie and the bananas are still bananas it’s bananas. This is from my new locale that I am taking a time off from because I don’t like to be that girl although people always remember me. I need to start wearing disguises?
This day I treated myself to a pizza sub it was amazing. I think I saved a quarter to eat back at the office. Genius move. The owners of this particular location are insanely friendly, community-minded and sweet – it’s shocking!
They have cheap champagne here too I will have to bring Heather.
Plus this magical band. I call them, “Santa has an identity outside of Christmas”.
The t-shirt guys downstairs had this up on the wall. Love them. Getting shirts made soon and hoodies.
As you can see I am keeping busy. I went to a talk. About Mindfulness. Start-up Mindfulness. It was interesting and insightful. I really wish I had more time and energy to go into detail over all the facets in my life, what do you guys actually want to hear about though?
I love it. I wish it wasn’t hung above the preggo drinking warning ad though.
Hackernest. I go to events quite often these days. Maybe I will see you at one? Luckily I thrive in social awkwardity but I’m also great at taking the floor and control. People thought Lee and I were running the photobooth largely because we took control.
Pizza + booze + smart people = giddy-uppa.
East Side Mario’s really likes their Italian icons yeah. I love the glamour too.
My fifteenth birthday, my awful haircut (why did we do that?), my first serious boyfriend and a Boston cream cake. I will not say cream pie here aghhhh lol. I remember watching all of my crew walk on passed my dance studio that day, my birthday, was also the day of my jazz exam! I was so bitter. I passed with honours of course but still, I wanted to be a tomboy with my bros and walk home from highschool. I think we went to a movie. There was no booze or pot. Lame. Falconer whaaaaaaaaaat.
Do you like how I jammed my hoodie under my hat. It was cold. I hate the cold.
This was the day Trump came into power, a Friday. We had the inaugeration on. Pretty surreal. Tess brought in gold sparkles to add to our vodka. I love Tess.
I’d tell you why I seldom smile in photos but that would take all the fun out of it.
I want more designer shirts. Hook it up if you got it.
Blouses, belts, pants, dresses. Fix me! Benefit from my network.
We need to keep those who are also self-indulgent close to us. There is a kinship. We need to breathe life into the creative dust bag in the vacuum and sometimes likewise we need to have our breaths taken away.
How is that for a look. Rhetorical. In fact don’t say anything mean to me here ever.
I now own two of these ikea boudoir things. The price is right! My other one is in Burlington. Hi Burlington fam!
You know I love my collages.
It’s a ghost town on the weekends in this hood. CATWALK.
Went to a hipster place on Ossington and my date and I were accosted with hipster rudeness it was hilarious. Sorry but manners go a lot further than blatant snottiness. And no it’s not just us. The cloak of Toronto smug is a palpable routine for most in the service industry. So over it. I keep threatening to write a book about Toronto.
La Carnita is boss.
This speaks to me. A lot of funny shit went down here.
An interesting fashion day.
That’s my girl. We decided that we are best friends. Hopefully that will make my other friends battle it out and all like me more and call me to hang out bahhaa.
Hi.
Oh hi again.
Oh jesus hi again.
The nut does not fall far from the tree. Hi mom.
Bonjour.
That time I’m on a tv show that’s about to air as a Royal. Check ya later guys this has been great!
Omg you’re so welcome. I didn’t even receive my year in review facebook video montage, who cares. We know what I did. Can’t even stand what you guys all did the first time around right! Blah humfug. This isn’t going to be a self-congratulating (nauseating) I love myself end of year summarization blog post I see popping up all over facebook rn. It’s always by people whose lives are “good enough” so they should just stop there, done with gloating. We get it. Nice hair cut.
This is just going to be a fun post using whatever treasures I have hoarded on my phone the past little while.
After work every day I do not have the energy to write fluffy fanfare about myself, I apologize but whatever, you’ll get a post here whenever I can and today’s the day. I’ve suffered only a few distractions (play-by-play texts from my bored mother) and a few housecleaning duties while d/ling my collection of blog pics. It really is a process.
I will spare you the complaints about how boring it is going through my catalogue, emailing the best-ofs to myself then opening each one… scrutinizing each one and don’t get me started on mail batches it takes just as long. Ha guess I am not sparing you any complaining. Then I individually save images on my desktop, or a folder then upload them all to flickr THEN html for each image via there to here and some quippy stupid copy along with – it’s confusing. Life is too fast-paced and dramatic for this drudgery if you have a better system where I can be locked away without distraction, please tell me it. I mean, it starts out fun then it’s like please enough.
We had a great Christmas hope yours was swell as well. We did a lot. Have been on the run for weeks it seems. Will be nice to get back to the routine but am enjoying time off too. I really want to start eating better and exercising more now that it’s NYE and thus, one more party, we can get back to basics.
It was quite a delicious time all around.
Speaking about best ofs my mom and nana got out all the best crap we made.
I rememeber that year!
We have a champagne thing amongst ourselves my mom is into boozahol now and I love it.
I guess you could say I am rocking around the Christmas tree. Ten bucks says Nana invites us back to sleepover and take it down before she goes to Florida.
The girls on their way to mass. Auntie Winnie, my Nana’s sister, suffered two great losses recently. Her son a few months ago and now her husband, a week before Christmas. The older I get and experiences that surround me give insight into how fragile life is, time is fleeting, HOLY SHIT TAKE HOLD OF LIFE BRO. Every year I am told it’s my Nana’s last Christmas. That side of my family loves the dramatics but guess what? Rude gyal Eileen bi’gone to Florida asap. The secret to a long awesome life is to indulge the shit out of yourself and to travel to every pocket of the world that you can for as long as you can to the very end. Eileen is an inspiration and a bona fide testament to my papa’s love of adventure and travel, the world over. She has seen more than I have seen!
My mom and I dressed the same without even discussing it.
My outfit was a last minute idea I forgot I owned this thing, I had never belted it before either. I wore it the next day too it was working so well haha. The lighting at my nana’s is supremo ideal that lady knows what she’s doing.
We went to Julian’s uncles xmas party on xmas eve-eve holy gong show what a great time lol. I took this on the street before going up to their place.
Getting in a hair appt with Donna Dolphy just before the holidays was nothing short of war but I prevailed and it was her birthday no less. Oh we had a time.
Not a bad after pic/job she did no? Yes. Sizzling.
Donna made me beef patties. I had beef patties with Beyonce. It was the last day of work and thus, scotchy scotch I needed those patties yo haha.
I enjoy the height of my hair here.
The before wasn’t the worst either though. Donna called me fat the last time she saw me so don’t think I think too highly of myself, Donna took me down. She roasts me all the time, she is Jamaican haha. I was pretty thin when she first met me and my hair appointments are stretched out cos I like to let my roots grow (I am lazy) so people can gauge a difference when time passes between seeing each other. Probably why my Nana always roasted me… it all makes sense now.
We went to London the weekend before last. I work 9-5 m-f so doing weekend stuff is like a blitzkrieg in the schedule nahmean. I liked the scenery though sleep does me just fine.
we saw Arrival. How do I get free movie passes?
Our hood is pretty #respect.
I was called a Russian at the lcbo and this is what I looked like at the time I do not blame them.
The lighting all over Nana’s house is the best.
I think my mom is giving me this hat back hahaha.
Hi honey lol. This is Christmas day.
Our staff party was hilarious, fun, amazing. Margarita texted to see what I was wearing, I sent pics and she obvs figured it all out.
A coworker brought his mom and then they slaughtered us, well we won but at first it was very long and arduous plus they were only drinking pop so I kept having to drink the beer. I just had a disconap so it got me immediately drunk. Good times. That is my actual work desk too btw legit covered in beer on Monday lol.
Had to go to an event after work, changed before hand as these pants stretched throughout the day and I looked like a frump. Not bad on the legs however.
Went fer grub in town in the country a couple weeks ago I love this hidden gem pub.
Uber 5000 came over, made me a drawing on a canvas I prepped no big deal.
we played it cool.
Hi. Yes there is more.
This is my fav street selfie mirror. I do not overplay it tho.
Nice work dudes.
This was a fun night.
Got that phone for my Nana. And some lamps.
Forgot to post that I was featured on a girls with glasses website before haha nice.
Happy New Year’s Eve I gotta get in the shower now bud. See you in 2017!
Hey guys this stink eye’s for you. Jay-kay, in actuality while I was street vamping for this shot I was staring at the girl laying on the ground all drunkies and I was trying to pose without showing that that was what I was looking at. Oh King west you beast. It’s a living. I don’t remember if I told you about this new gig we have til NYE but it involves ipads and collecting data for a brand about blabbity blah prob not at liberty to say but anyway there is a job for everything and everyone out there if you can tell all the right lies ;). In between that I have my personal asst/social gigs, and now acting. I’m kind of dead tired between it all but I am majorly excited about my acting/wrestling card girl gig this weekend most of all because I get to go asRaymi the Minx. Remember her? You can see it all broadcast on Rogers TV 8 days later I heard. I’m going to steer clear of the drama as much as possible, there’s some scripted scenarios I am going to be part of too oh fuck lol. This can be a re-appearing gig for me if all goes well. After I blog today I’m going to squeeze into some tights and put my RTM look together for it. LMK if you want to go I’ll pull some strings. They kinda want hot girls (who doesn’t?) ha ha shrug. The last one of these things Julian and I went to we laughed our heads off 3 hours straight. We “could not”. It’s like over the top wrestling fake fight acting and you’ll recognize a lot of local Toronto legends acting in it. It happens again November too as if anyone is reading this part right now haha.
This night of work was a Blitzkrieg cos I bumped into scoundrels I know long story short I was useless the next day.
Hello old friend.
My cousin died last week. I’m glad we were able to make it to the service. It is a tragedy how he died. I have a lot to say but I’m not going to say it though. The funeral home had these memoriam bracelets. I took one for my mom as well. Family is important. We had a good day afterward my Dad and mom, Julian and I. Touring Oakville. Seeing the church where my grandfolks on my dad’s side are all laid to rest. Sat on my great grandmother’s bench as is tradition. Then we went to a patio in Burlington then back to the house to visit etc. We shared happy memories and funny stories. Julian thought he was playing matchmaker I said this isn’t the Santa Claus bruh. So. In dark times you must cherish the good times at the same time and those in your life. Even if they’re your enemy and pissed you off before I like to abide by the one last chance model, more of a syndrome rather. Life is precious and is short and it’s scary enough for the lot of us no? Make time for fun and if you need help, ask for it.
A ship and the view of Toronto from Oakville. That one last smokestack line by the ship is the beaches where I am right meow.
I saw a girl plop backwards yesterday into the mud. She fainted. She’s a fainter. I was on the phone in the middle of being scammed by that hot scam of the moment where they pretend to be the CRA and it almost worked. I am still pissed off and stressed about it and probably going to report it. Had I have seen the CBC feature on it last week I wouldn’t have been so stupid and if I wasn’t so sleep deprived and tired on set and had better focus… It was just an absolute gong show but I want people to know what happened to me so they can avoid it too. I can see why old fogies fall for it these guys are VERY crafty at what they do. I want to set them all on fire I could hear them in the background scamming other people it was so believable and I am such an idiot.
They actually wrote back to me. If 1-613-707-3639 calls you IGNORE IT. I flew too close to the flame on that one by God. They had a fake 3 way call with my accountant and I and I bought it. I canceled my credit card but waiting on hold with VISA for ten minutes was an eternity I was like cancel my card right away! Also why did this take you ten minutes to answer in cancellation land and your automated system they could have been depleting my card and most definitely were trying to. I think I lost a year off my life from that I was walking around in circles in the parking lot on my phone I bet the shuttle driver enjoyed the show but then, I canceled it in time and we had wrapped on set – instant relief and elation we went straight to thai food and netflix I had this weird high like, I felt lucky but I felt sick to my stomach at the same time. I have enough bullshit in my life and now these scam artists come along. Great!
The torrential downpour added a nice touch to the gong show of a day. I am never staying up late again before a shoot. Lesson learned.
I just got off the phone with the passport peeps and thankfully my passport is expired and therefore useless to those bastards so once again my laziness has saved the day. I am going to replace it this week. I just need to take a decent photo first. This is fake movie money fyi. Me and another actor took turns passing it back and forth to each other over and over again in the background and pretended to trade corn actually we forgot about the corn and became money OCD fixated instead. Acting is hilarious. I made so many stupid jokes about corn. Sometimes the personality shines through strong bringing joy to all those surrounding me. An AD that morning said I had a great voice when all I said was “no problem” as they were passing through. He said say something again I said, “say something again. Hello good morning how are you.” I need to do voice over work before it’s too late. Sorry all these stories are about me it’s kinda about me and my life here.
Another Raymazing thing to happen to me was my phone went in the pool my first day on set for a different show. I wanted to just give up and die. In this business you see the same actors around on different projects and sets so yesterday we all made fun of me for that. YES that was MY phone. Yes I was THAT girl. I was basically crying when I got my voucher at the end of the day at 5:45am when we wrapped. We did 17 hours. So the last few scenes at the end my face is all fucked up and then I just leave altogeher LMAO. Anyway this photo was on Julian’s phone cos I needed something to post the few days I was phoneless. Nice shot bud. Rob retweeted it I assumed out of passive aggression but he said it was cos he liked the composition pfft.
We just looked at this again for the first time and died laughing. So many questions behind it bahahha. In Future TO was great I hope you made it out to that. We walked the log chute (waterless) at Ontario Place and these idiots were peppering the path along the way. Decapitated deers and other out-there art, nice and retro, nostalgic. Everyone has their Ontario Place memories I kept hearing them all night long plus we bumped into lots of close friends of mine too. We had to get out of the interpretive dance silo asap I cannot keep a straight face during that shit. This guy danced through some papers he made shuffle and flutter all over the place in a spotlight with some crap projected up on the wall put to MEANINGFUL music and narration in a black spandex outfit NOPE too immature for that buddy but good job though. Kyle’s gf from France being majorly into it didn’t help much either cos I immediately wanted to make fun of it with her but then we had to talk about it and I had to pretend like it instead while Kyle and Julian made jokes over in the corner gahaha.
My phone crapped out the next day so I lost all my hoarded pics ho-hum. Luckily I hyper-actively overpost sometimes and could take scraps from facebook and what not. If you haven’t seen your own phone sink to the bottom of a pool before you might imagine how emotional and awful it feels and all the shit that goes through your mind regarding media for clients and your to-do lists. I hope it never happens to you.
He knows how it feels.
This was a Sunday night. Oof. #dreamteam.
It’s Noel! I liked that his installation included a pile of dust and rubbish he couldn’t find a dustbin for. Good ol Noel. There are legendary Noel & company stories it was good to have the gang all back together again. We had oysters and made fun of stuff, yay.
After pooling the audience I picked up these shades that I would have regretted for the rest of my life had I not.
Praying my bodytype will suit the dresses they’ve ordered for us for work. I’m not bragging but I kind of fit in to the 24 age-ish set but sometimes I feel like they really for real think I am. I can do skimpy to a limit. Also I am a little “juicier” lately and you kind of need to be emaciated for some dress styles out there. I don’t lose sleep over it though don’t worry.
The coconut was the best sorbet could do without the rest next time.
Eavesdropping on this patio is pretty sweet. Some kids tried to hustle chocolate bars to all of us it was kind of amusing to see the nerve of them. The host would not let them in so they asked us all one by one over the fence. Oh that city life.
You get accustom to the facial hair then it gets shaved off for a role and you’re like but where is your face?
I wonder if he owns the stables too.
Skulls and cherries.
I love the city but I also lurve the country YEE-HAW!
I am always cleaning up our tickle trunk.
Just going through the motions here.
I will give this hairstyle a whirl again and refine it.
Our new friend/co-worker Danielle was rocking the Charlie’s Angels thing and proclaimed, am I the only one doing it?? I guess you had to of been there.
I was 22 when I made that book. Man I use to be a go-getter af.
Kristin was dressed like a Legoman ILHer. Known her since I was 19. She started Magic Pony fyi.
Nice pic Julian.
Sex on the beach. I needed to be comforted by a ridiculous drink. I didn’t even want to drink. You know how I feel? It reminded me to make a point to drink more cranberry juice if anything else.
Funeral-bound on Saturday.
From the first show I was on. I lost more selfies this is the only pic of me I have. I survived though. Life goes on.
Still trying to make ponchos happen. Now that it’s on tv it might actually happen. Sometimes I wonder if my sense of humour is so dry it just goes right over your head. I am kidding. I don’t care about ponchos.
Earlier that morning I was all, how am I going to get through this day?
There’s no fun in funeral except that there is. You make the best of it I guess. You get to see yer fam. I was pleased that there was no dramz.
When you don’t blog often and then you compile all your selfies at once you see how many you take and you’re like ugh cringe shrug whoops sorry guys. I actually seldom like how I look but you would not know that if you read my blog now would ya!? Being a woman and “aging” really does a number on your self esteem I see mean shit written about me online all the time. I read a crazy one recently in a forum I will not mention about how I better hurry up quick I am old I can’t remember but it definitely left a bad vibe feeling. Anyway. Celebrate when you like how you look and literally everyone else can shut the fuck up who try to bring you down for no reason other than they need some company down there.
Rearranged our room it’s pretty chill now. Staying in the beaches til spring. Pumped. I guess we’ll bring a boxspring in finally despite both owning whole “‘nother” beds, respectively.
Yeah I’ll mail it! Added to the list. I have another one avail for sale if keen lemme know.
Had celebratory dinner in our hood last night. I have been eyeing the jerk chicken in this joint for months. It finally happened. The guy was like okay good luck it’s pretty spicy. I was like pfft I will be the judge of that. I need to be exploited for my spicy tolerance in some capacity. Two napkins later and I was done son. Julian had the lobster grilled cheese.
I got a bite. Dope.
I had a mamosa. Like a mimosa…but in a boot. Um ok. Better with brunch I imagine in between slugs of coffee.
Reminded us of beer fest movie and the boot scene. I got the boot a couple times in drinking this. It gurgles and sploshes on you. Funny.
Julian has to grow his facial hair again for a thing. GREAT.
It’s almost cool enough to rock a hat now without sweating your brains out.
I think I will make this my new FB header. We gave our walk-in office a good tidy today finally.
New hit alert. Julian sent me this song he had made “inspired by me” and kinda about me when I was in Detroit… anyway who knew months later I’d be singing on it with him and it’s getting mixed and mastered af it sounds incredible. Party anthem en route stay tuned dude.
Hank loved it too. Julian Bachlow has an amazing vocal range.
What a pose. Enjoyed playing ball with Hank. Such a sweet dog and I normally “hate” white poodly type dogs I dunno why. Maybe I have seen some manky ones in my time and they all take on the persona of their owner and it’s like yeesh enough.
I hate that I am a Starbucks person but I also don’t care. Call me basic but their Americano misto non-fats have been my jam for years and get me into gear. Give me an sbucks card anytime.
I was feeling my look but also well aware of how much of a fuckin idiot I looked like but guess what during TIFF and in YDS area (puke) you are like a Lady Gaga solid gold dancer to the rest of the flock. I saw chicks eyeing me up and taking notes. Soon daisy duke weather is over though have been known to wear them during winter if attending the right live music act.
It looked grotesque to me I liked it. Kind of a V for vendetta quality? Gothic madness.
We need to preserve what we have though so I am a proponent of the constant upgrading of one’s self (city).
This is the side of that chick’s head from the Snowden movie. She plays his gf. If we had the patience to stick around for Joseph Gordon Levitt I would have jumped on him. Despite promoting the tiff parties at this place you kinda get over it quick. I appreesh tho and I ain’t hating. I saw a lot of friends colleagues peers the last few days on prime king st west and shall again before the film fest is done.
Oliver Stone in the blue blazer with his back to us. I was like, fine I will take pics. It’s amazing what overcomes the crowd when a celebrity appears “I saw things”. Lmao.
He looked right at me. Powerful shit to make eye contact with Oliver Stone while you are waiting for your Hello Kitty bag to be brought down to you. Superfans had Doors posters (the Val Kilmer movie) for him to sign I was like Hell YES Oliver Stoner lets do this! They could not find my bag so I got to go up and get it and then I got to see more like rubbed shoulders while mobbed by people snapchatting it. I was just like I hope no one falls in the pool bye.
I went back to my old stomping foodie grounds to Allen’s on the Danforth and ordered the same three apps I have been imbibing on for a decade and they all taste exactly as they ought to. Was thrilled. Capon wings (rooster!) with real blue cheese and calamari with mongolian fire sauce.
The main showstopper is this blackened potato salad. I almost cried it was so delicious. Was going to get an order to go but that would have been excessive. Go there try it and try and tell me you don’t feel amazing eating this.
I am getting crazy for patios now that summer is over. This tree is 150 years old. Go sit by it. Go outdoors. Go sit in the sun take all the pictures!
The Used played the other night at the Danforth Music Hall. I saw Arcade Fire here and Broods. I tell the same stories each time we pass by it.
I signed with a talent agency. Movies and tv shows here I come! My other job lately is in promotions. It’s zany, pays well and is way non-stressful. If I bartend it needs to be on my own terms and be like, shitty bartending as in holding two highballs in one hand at once while I slosh JD everywhere and pour. Inspired and laid back. Roadhouse. Bukowski. The rest of my talents just get wasted otherwise. I am a peg that can insert into many holes but I find sales is my strongest field with writing falling beneath the umbrella which connects to social media and business.
View access opportunist.
I see.
Java house curry pad thai is so good and never changes. It’s bad good type of good. *drools*.
I took this pic of L’il Wayne posters as an example of how cool I still am.
Damn girl the high life is well lit.
Do not give in to FOMO.
I like that there is a lot going on here.
Ten Years of Brass Vixens what!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks gang. Kudos to all.
New happy things bring good vibes along with and help stimulate creativity.
Well if anything I am consistent.
My swag shirt from the ballet thing I did over winter. Swoon. The paint store was quite dramatic. I took a business call while there too #hustle.
Oh my.
It has been an interesting month!
I look like I am accepting an award. Or waiting for one.
Congrats Shannon!
Day two with Heather Ha ha. Don’t ask.
So cute. This party was so fun. Took us a few days to recover lmao.
Oh hai.
We went for a ridic expensive dinner on the beach (that I paid for!) it was fun. In the middle of depressing winter I will be happy about it. I am a food snob but I will take view over standards any day no matter how many times we were forgotten about in the corner hidden by a tree. Beaches plus twinkle lights had me like.
we ate that. I don’t know who makes the decisions in our minds sometimes.
One of my conceited hand days.
Now I feel like a dick cos this looks pretty amazing. I am a cheese snob how about that. Potent. Give me potency lawda mercy.
In the end, Fella did not crash the convertible into a tree and a towering inferno of emotional flames. This little pupster was here today too. So cute. Grown since this pic. It happens very quickly they become boring adults like the rest of us.
#Wutang.
I got to be a sexy beer rep one day. Being a hired hottie is interesting because it makes you act like a hot person but then your real stupid personality spills out and everyone is confused but no, I am a capable beer expert, you just focus on your brand and voila. Plus now we have a new hat to fight over.
Adding the title of this blog post to the resume of my life as I have dedicated much of it to exactly that and I am still standing bruh. Now here’s some things from said life. Hold on tight y’allready made it through the cold open. Don’t get me started on comedy. Every sentence that comes out of my mouth is either a punchline or preamble to something (I find) hilarious. I am getting better. The key is to remember your material.
Mom stayed with us for a week and we all survived. Hey man I ain’t saying I am innocent either just saying is all. This is from Canada Day. We went to Woodbine beach after for the free concert and shenanigans in the beer garden with our roommate plus mom oh it was a time. Living in the beaches is ridonkulous. I will look back on this summer and cry whistfully into the wind. As much as I dig moving forward if I look back at all the amazing shit I have done in my life too much stacked together without enjoying those moments. When I look at skyporn cloud pictures from kew beach over winter I will explode. I will just explode.
Sushi/sashimi the other night. They forgot a roll we were like yes we want it. We ordered pizza later on at night cos we were still fung lol.
Canada Day. What’s in the baaaaag man.
Did your head explode? Good. This is Fella. We are bonding now. The little fart has my heart.
Taking him to the vet was a trip. A sweaty, eating my hair while my shorts were falling down and walking in the wrong direction of where the vet is -trip.
My face has been breaking out because I am aging backward in time. You have to have popeye’s at least once in your lifetime right. With gravy and biscuits, dirty rice and macaroni ahh gad the shame the delicious shame.
Starting the ol diet off with a bang. No more deep fried foods diet lol.
We walk as much as I try and force us to. We are living in paradise FOMO BRO. Thank God we don’t Pokemon Go. Not to be a hater but we have enough things in our life.
This guy had this house built on kew gardens property for his homegirl when they got married to keep her close and happy. Lucky chick. I read the plaque while drunken lawnbowler preps sauntered by me, rejected from the steamwhistle short bus (it was full). Could tell they were embarrassed because it happened right in front of me. One calls out, “claaaaassic” both in ivy league sweaters tied around their shoulders. I fucking love the beach for reasons exactly like this. So I sped up to walk ahead and let them bro it out alone up to Queen and a patio to continue getting blasticated but then they caught up to me reading this plaque. I must have read that plaque 4 times before I was able to retain any of the information written on it. Then another prep threesome walked by I could feel their eyes all over me. So much awkward loud silence like, I should have been HEY LEMME READ THIS TO Y’ALL AS YOU WALK UP THE STREET NOW. My problem is I size people up too quickly and then, I hate them. I had seen the gf ignoring the bf while on her phone and snapchatting her drunken mother riding around in circles on their bicycle. The bf had seen me note ALL of this. So in my head we had this, again, awkward knowing secret together. I bumped into them one more time as they headed into a bar when I noticed they were all wearing identical khaki pants and white buttoned shirts. Themewear for the lawn bowling club’s rager. Aren’t you glad I share things?
I really do love it here. It’s calm. Fabulously. I read alone on the beach. Not for long. I am too hyper and ADD but the whole process of packing a backpack, hitting some shops then reading til it’s dark while I get eaten to death by mosquitos forces me to slow down. It clears my head. I get lonely but I like it. To a point.
Julian Bachlow has been getting a lot of acting gigs lately it’s impressive. Some days are long shoots so we don’t see each other as much. Gives me time to reflect and to miss him.
Love this little nook we happened upon one day. It changes too. New things appear or leave.
Very The Friendly Giant.
Went to Fat Bastard burrito Saturday night. Everywhere we go it’s like performance art lol.
I know why it’s called fat bastard burrito though. Get a small. It’s gigantic. I ate it again on Sunday.
I had the butter chicken. Phenom. With noodles. It blew my mind.
Before we hit the road selfie.
Feeling this Beck jam big rn btw.
What should we call our variety show?
We watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High the other night. It is still amazebaaaalls. Sorry to bring amazeballs back. It’s crazy the cameos in it.
Super beached out af like it’s raining desperate.
My nails are naked rn about to paint them after this post or keep them natch. We will see.
What happened in Nice today…I feel like a dick writing this post. I began this post earlier then we went out in our “super ultra safe neighbourhood” and came home to the news. I kept running out to the porch to tell everyone because I am a disaster junky like that but also I have been desperate to write a blog post for days and keep getting sidetracked and this is like putting my foot down I AM DOING THIS and I am writing this fuck sake. It just feels like it’s raining bad shit all around us so I like to appreciate what I have and those I love. Cut the shit and get on with it.
I made him this bacon bagel sandwich with lettuce from the garden and tomato. It was out of control excellent.
Little pug pug made it to the big times. Everyone died when they saw him at the vet now I know why dog people like being dog people because they get to feel like the popular girl ALL the time it was like Jesus ENOUGH jk we love it I have stories of dog beach adventures man let me tell you life is good sometimes.
Have to get into my fancier gear once in awhile to remember that I still do that sometimes.
Someone is babysitting him for a few days this picture just tore my heart to shreds.
If this bridge could talk. Took Julian on a tour of my old hood. It feels like you know my life because everything that has ever happened to me in this park comes flooding back.. but how could you know. Anyway it was a trip. It was like I was just there yesterday. We off-roaded it into the jungle and my legs are all scratched up for it. Julian loved it… mom not so much. It has overgrown a lot in a decade and then some haha.
It was a tour of Lauren. I brought them to a cemetery in Streetsville. A friend of mine is buried here. We made friends with this cat who fell in love with us and followed us out of the cemetery and then my heart broke some more. I had a doctor’s appt in ‘sauga is why we were all there togeths.
I can’t wait to find my belt.
I can tell you a lot of stories about the Credit River. Involving me and/or others, the police, bush parties, fires, river walking, setting shit on fire, sneaking out at night. Forest sex. Crazy bananas things. What is this our Texas? Well, for a time maybe so, maybe so.
Falconer Drive is totes diffskies now. Shit of legend. Curfews at night lol.
Kay back to Toronto now. La la land. I see things you would not believe there is even a beaches mascot now, a dog, a guy in a dog mascot costume. Brilliant.
And this!
Losing steam here now people. Yeah it’s snack time.
All about dat neon tho.
I made a new friend one afternoon. We laughed and shared the best stories, totally vibed and took each other on a social adventure I could feel Don’s happiness as he told me about his grandmother, who championed him when he smiled on the inside and outside as he spoke. He blew my mind with some real talk perhaps too controversial for my blog but when he left he said he really enjoyed talking to me. I wished Julian was there to meet him.
Hahah what’s with all the emo pictures I will try to switch it up guys swear.
Your life is a piece of work and yes it’s work but it’s a piece of artwork so design it how you like share it how you want tell it how you feel make it magic make it real.
If you venture into this dog park you can pretend you are on another planet if you wanted to a little Jurrasic park here and The Martian there, nah bruh?
I watched the storm roll in wondering if it was a storm. Rolling in. Baha. Then I ran home in the lightning scared out of my mind. Lightning storms um nope. All the rain storms lately are cool it’s SO HOT the planet is like “time to explode into rain mawfuck burst inna rain son!”
I look like a bohemian slob most days so the one or two days I make effort I do the selfie thing so these are my faux apologies.
Sleeping on our new mattress on the floor has been FUN/NY. Okay I will tell ONE embarrassing story. Not really embarrassing at all but like, we were drunkies after sushi and needed more food so ordered pizza but we were rolling around on this frigging thing and like basically already on the floor..and drunk with the giggles. We laugh at our bullshit a lot at least. Wow cool story, nice and short.
Beginning of the mural. Maybe I will tackle it tomorrow.
Doing starry night has made me keen on researching Van Gogh. Quite the guy.
Oh look. MORE pictures of me. LOL.
Tash and I hit up Brass Vixens last week as well. Going for another class real soon. Love it.
Went to the Drive-in. A summer bucket list must! okay guys time to irl so ttyl xo rlw!
It’s hard to blog when you live in the beach. Have wicked ADD. Are busy af. Summer. OMG shiny things. A baby pug. L-i-v-i-n’ and sum such things but here we are now again so I will try to stuff something awesome down your throats. Truth be told I am not a massive narcissist I don’t feel the inclination to scream off a soapbox everyday my goddamn thoughts and espouse my opinions rantily. Blogging was always a powerful thing to me and the more you do it the more you get out of it. It also fatigues you just as much. Behind scenes I am a massive proponent of blogging to everyone surrounding me and I hugely encourage them to show show show! But me I don’t show or write shit as we all very well know lately. I have no reason to be clammed up rn at all I am just busy doing me. I am working on projects. I don’t need a ribbon for all of my things as in I don’t need to status update every time I floss. I don’t crave validation. I do feel bad about not writing as much (at all) and I throw it on the to do list. So here is a bloody blog post then ARRRRR I am 33 years old and going to talk about myself on a blog that I started 16 years ago.
We have been loving it here man. Beach time rules. I am a burnout at heart a born wild child free spirit hippie waste of space dickhead yeah yeah I know who I am. I see me. So the east end is perfect for that. However it is bittersweet every moment I cherish because this is just a sublet til September. I am always stressed out about shit anyway so what else is new what does it matter. Enjoy your life while you live it. It makes you less ugly if you don’t worry. Don’t get me started ugh.
New places and spaces inspire and take over your psyche. I was watching Season 2 of Bloodline on a Netflix bender that is set in the Florida Keys during hot day after hot day happily in front of a fan on the floor out here in the dead end of the east end. It does feel remote out here a little. The beach is incredible, glorious. New restaurants and bars to piss everybody off at yay!
We had the place to ourselves for a couple of weeks too that was fun and boy how June has just flown by. Enjoy every moment. Enjoying every moment. A psycho mantra in my head as I comb the streets the park the boardwalk lol.
No. Am not narcissistic. Just proud of looking pretty sometimes with minimal effort and it was kind of a skinny moment? Don’t worry I got progressively fatter throughout the day. I do things like that now. ENJOYING MYSELF EATING MAYONAISE FRENCH FRIES ciders panzerottis… just sharing facts and wrapping up the details of my life with you.
This phase of my life involves teenage regression. The pizza pockets lifestyle. Making up for many years’ lost time of not being a beach urchin. Now I know why beach bums seem like their brains are always blasted out walking barefoot in dopey hippie looks and dreadlocks. I am romanticizing like 1 person I saw once in Ft Lauderdale fwahah but anyway it’s because you hear the sound of seagulls and instantly melt into nostalgia McDonald’s dipped soft ice cream cones wet bathing suits stringy hair and freckles time slows and things that really mattered incessantly stop mattering. I feel like I have been living on the run for months it has been a long ass winter and the beach is a nice place to settle if you’re a weirdo like me. or like to walk around like a space cadet and you need some time to figure out your life.
Julian gave me this heart button the first time after we hung out. He threw it in my bag along with other trinkets and junk. We are the same like that. We like things and stuff. Creatives. Hyperly creative and excitable. He inspires me to try and be better.
I was sitting down the other day exactly where I am sitting right now. I was about to blog my face off. Then this dingaling turned up. Then he was placed in a nice home yesterday and now I can finally start getting some shit done today lol. There’s another pug puppy here but I am doing better at ignoring him. Keeps trying to friend me and shit but I am not having it so many dogs have gone through my life lately I can no longer handle it emotionally.
We totally bonded *sniffle*.
We had to move this kept knocking it.
Sigh.
Cutest of the litter in my opinion and I did not know personalities could differ so much or even be a thing so soon. I really loved this little guy lets never talk about it again.
This is my favourite house in the day. One of. I never saw it at night before. Astounding.
Always art jamming it whever the mood strikes too. Going to paint starry night mural out back.
I’ve taken over social for Happy Juice Co. That stuff is gold mang.
Taking Brass Vixens classes as my schedule allows it’s great fun. Excited for a twerk class next!
We went to see Kiefer Sutherland at The Horseshoe last Monday. Took my Mom. Went to the after party. Ordered drinks on his tab. Killer night lol I say no more.
My mom got a lot of rad shots and managed to get up dead center I knew she would. I did NOT like the audience they were horrifically rude and snappy some people very protective of their personal space my mom got bullied too. I forget that as a couple you operate as a unit. You are simply, two people. So when you’re alone it’s easier to deek through the crowd alone. Harder as two. I cannot deal with rude jerks which is what we had to do and made it halfway through the crowd before a woman blocked us from going further meanwhile a guy is screaming in Julian’s face and that is when I LOST IT. It was hot af too. Just way too much after a long day at the beach with my mom.
Another one for the books as usual.
We all had our moment with him too.
Kiefer liked my mom more than me. I am fine with that.
I took the country band thing seriously and wore plaid. I should have dressed like a slonky. My bad. SO I didn’t even try to butter him up I was like hey. Bahah. We got him shots of whiskey which he didn’t drink so we drank them. Maybe he was scared of us. I literally don’t care.
Played some gigantic birdies badminton the morning after.
We got better as we played.
:).
Kinda feel like playing now.
Rebecca came by with Bowie for a night that was a great time! I have many more pics to share later on everyone is talking to me in the kitchen right now it’s hard to focus.
We went to Le Baratin for dinner last week. Divine! Going on a diet tomorrow for frig sakes.
Oh lord yum yums.
I like fancying up sometimes.
I made a throwback collage.
Alright ttyl dinner time I’ll save Donna Dolphy’s post for next one xo.
Being a big mouth while having secrets is mega fuckin hard I’m just gonna come out with that one. Having a full, eccentric life that feels to be bursting at times in every way you finally want it to is absolute insanity but this is the way it is and how I am. I am going to blog like a demon now because that is what has always centered me. My ADD is off the chain and it takes a lot to focus as well there’s always a lot of people to say ttyl to. I am tired of these side converations I think I can navigate while trying to write, to anything. NO MORE. Lauren Write needs to write so let her. Disappearing off the face of the (city) earth and from phone felt so good last week. I am doing that again this weekend while I hopefully sleep for 48 hours that I’ve sorely needed.
Sorry but I am tired of being there for people. I need to do me right now. I need to cut some of you out. Thin the herd. I have virtual check-ins with people, all kinds of handfuls of them everyday all day long and it’s starting to make me insane. The OCD and guilt to reply to every person last week, went away. It’s OKAY if you just ghost. It’s ok if you don’t reply. I am sorry if that stings some of you but I have been putting myself second for too long. I mean I like being there and I like the friendships but trying to mainain them all is driving me bonkers and maybe even made me sick. I am spread around too thinly. When all of my friends are amazing creatives doing great things I love to keep track of all of them and pitch in, take part in all of that too (FOMO) but it’s simply just too much. Don’t you agree? Do you feel like your head is barely above water sometimes managing your life schedule? I must be doing some of the wrong things. I am just tired of saying I am busy to the same select group of people over and over again and them not getting it sorry if that pisses you off but busy isn’t over until it’s over. I am busy as well as sick. I have started a new job and I am in the process of moving as well as managing another background drama do you get the picture yet? I can’t be your party girl all the fucking time. Posting a hot pic isn’t necessarily a thirst trap for you and I do not give second chances, while I am at it. If I made time for you and you bailed on that scheduled hang, I am not hanging with you again. You showed yourself once. I have no time for flakes. If anything I get to be the flake. Not you.
I basically NEED to do this post before I can finish the next one in queue which actually should take importance over this one here but like I said “I need this” ha ha. As a creative. We have our quirks and “rules” our practises and we have our rituals. One day I’d like to let some crazy bastard film my process and then you’ll all be like OMFG idiot. Hahha. I know I am charming and insane and worthwhile. Hey I like me!
Stacy, a hairstylist (top right) and friend of mine from Grateful Head salon on Dundas said some really nice things to me last night at Swan Dive that squeezed some of the bullshit perspective I have about myself out of my brain and I was like YEAH FUCK YEAH and THANK YOU! I was speechless. He thinks I’m a better marketer, seller more than I even know. Invaluable information. I will talk more about him and Grateful Head later on don’t you worry.
When you live a high octane life and you’re busy and you just can’t get out of things AND you are sick it eventually blows up in your face. I just had a sauna and steamed out some toxins and now I am ready to rock right after I pop another Dayquil. WHOOOOO!
Now here’s some fourth wall broken down I just sent everything I wrote above to a creative co-hort and here it is.
thats a real powerful blog post. So real, genuine. People will love it
Thank u
Aww
All the good head cases will come out
Good on you serious
Cos I posed questions
Also telling people to leave me alone
Let em, stirs up things
Yes
Get people talking, interested in what is going to happen to your sense of self. It tells people to take care of themselves too. Reminds them
It is great and inspirational
im tired of posting a selife then getting barraged
just watch the show and leave me the fuck alone
u are not a part of this
but its good for business u need them to love you
Yeah
tired of saying yes i am still busy
busy means busy
and busy doesnt end
(end rant)
The point is just leave me alone for a week. Two weeks. I feel like I am begging here. I mean don’t ignore me no don’t leeeeeeeeeave me. I just mean some of you in the inner circle I have more of a rapport with, stop griefing me for being MIA and not replying I just need to keep my focus. It’s nothing personal I will be back and I will go away again. That’s just who I am. This is me saying I need time and I will probably smash something if I have to repeat it to you again. Yes I have issues with rage, people who try to manipulate me emotionally and try to take advantage of my time. If you want the doctor to be in you have to make it worth her while. Someone wanted to have a business call and I charged for it, he asked why I said because this is what I do. You want me involved, you have to pay me to care. You want my insights and tastemaking, you pay for that too. For me to pause the many things I am always trying to do to stop, drop, and roll for your cause…you pay for it. Time is money. Getting my brain to concentrate requires energy I’d rather direct to things I’m already busy doing and to throw another thing on the plate is fine, but it has to be compensated.
I don’t care how snotty or self-entitled I sound. When is the last time you saw a post here? I am busy I am busy don’t you get it I am busy. When I was a 9-5 copywriter I was busy asf I never spoke of my work I kept my head down as much as I could and I seldom blogged. Go where the money is, go to that. Shut out everybody else and don’t you dare feel any guilt about it. Focus on your shit. Other people are way better at this than I ever was, living for themselves and getting their priorities straight. Me? I collect a bunch of ding dongs to occupy my (waste of) time and I am 33 years old now. I can’t balance it anymore. I love to chat yes I do but I also want to dive into my work and do better work. More work. WERK. I am building something here and I’d like to continue, to finish it. I am my priority right now, you aren’t. I’d like to be there for everybody but I can’t anymore. I don’t want to lose friends either but if you don’t understand any of this you’re not a real friend anyway. Real friends have patience and generally their own shit going on too, they get me whereas everybody else is a needy cling-on and I am not your mommy anymore.
This has been building up inside of me for a long time. Sometimes I just get irked. I can anticipate why people are talking to me, what they’re really after, and it generally doesn’t align with my own intentions or what will ever be feasible between us so stop leching out on me. I post sexy things for my brand and not to get the male gaze or whatever shit my snide detractors claim, or think. I do it for me. To empower myself. There may be a little attention-seeking there too but mostly it’s for the arts and my lifelong passion of showing my fashion, looks, my vibe, and expressing opinions of my experience. We are allowed to do what we want in our lives. I am tired of making excuses for being “a blogger” after 16 years.
I have been sick for a week so sorry for the crabby I will move on to more of the photo and caption straight-forward style approach to blogging now. I had a lovely bday lunch. Was supposed to do one thing but those plans fell through and so was able to hit The Drake with a good bro, yay.
Maybe I am recovering from my birthday still something happened to me on it like in the Santa Claus or Freaky Friday. “I’ve changed” and for the better you’ll see.
Thanks mom for all the sweet gear.
I may be an idiot but I got nice gambs.
It was brutal weather on March 31. We waited out a lightning storm and drank champagne Heather and I did and busted out the selfie stick. Heather got us tickets to Field Trip. What a little scamp I lurve her. So do all the men. HEheh.
I tried to dress it up for this special day. Two outfits. Why not. I am over my birthday now my birthday complex is gone now I’m just like in post bday apocalypse recovery mode LOL haha okay I’m shutting it.
No I am not into the occult but other people are and I want to make money off them. This Wednesday Addams is available FOR SALE make an offer.
Ahhh Fujahtive. They’ll be having their own post. It was a solid show and the crowd was pretty great too! It always is and they always are.
Mom got excellent shots as usual.
Nothing beats a crisp white dress now I’m all set for a P.Diddy white party stay tuned. Thanks Sara Duke!
Dropping mad hints everywhere no? Lol.
What do you do with this life how do you organize it what do you make of it how do you showcase it. Just get on with it I guess.
A lot of great stories from this evening. So much love.
Love it.
So many possibilities found at The Darling Mansion.
Developed a (later on in life) dreamify addiction. Unique endless ways to be creative especially if one already has an artistic eye and access to wicked sets.
Love it. Loon records.
Please hang up and try your call again this is a recording.
Aging like a fiiiine wine. I’ve heard worse and recently too haha.
I just take so many pics of things and surroundings and myself that I make these collages that’s the short of it. I like how it tells the story.
Rural fashions.
I’ve been working for Shannon Brass Vixens queen as her personal assistant this week. Timing in life is everything and so far so good I love her. We go back some years. It all just makes sense.
Looking forward to getting a tan and rocking my new locks. Or at least not being sick anymore or looking Lydia Deetz-tired.
Uncanny.
So I been busy so I gwan slow it down this w/e and kick this cold’s ass. Looking forward to my guitar lesson tomorrow.
Goodbye dark roots. I thought they were kinda cute but your next colour application is always looming.
NO cut this time just a colour. Once I wash it and have it straightened like usual I am keen to see it in all its glory. Hair obsessed. Part of my personal passion project. When I had fug hair no one was nice to me. How you look is important it shouldn’t rule your whole world all the time but it pays off when an effort is made.
