Haven’t done a “one of these” in awhile. Here we go bro.
Monthly Archives: June 2013
Holland night drive
fight back with sexy
Hi “people” what day is it today, Saturday? Groovy. My stay in Neverland Netherlands is coming to an end next week so it’s like, “cray” I guess. Loose end tying up sorta thing, tidying up and of course maybe a fraction of all that has been accomplished.
There’s a party tonight we were gonna go to but can’t afford the three day hangover so we’s aint’s. Too bad though I kinda wanted to show myself off some more before leaving, get drunk and then belligerent with a local or two about Canada or whatever. It can wait.
It was our 3 month anniversary on Thursday and yeah 3 months is nothing but I think it’s important to acknowledge milestones in the beginning cos eventually you won’t anymore, moms count their baby’s ages by months so the infancy of relationships can so too cos you never know how they’re gonna go or last so three months is a lifetime especially when you’re inseparable, you can easily take each other for granted in your jogging pants oh hi you again yeah hey, anyway long story short we celebrated with dinner and drinks already so don’t feel up to partying again tonight. Fuck I’m old bouncing back is impossible.
Happy Pride Toronto and anyone else who cares, have you ever been arrested by a gay cop before? Looks fun right this is their station. I’m like hey cool Pride and bf is uh what? It’s like that every day of the year haha SWEET.
I hurted myself. I am a “blogger” kay so I take pictures of things and sometimes those things can cut you.
It bled forever. This place did not at all give a shit either which was more hilarious, oh Europe. It’s like I fell down all the stairs in your establishment and they’d ask if you had a good time.
If a kid did this in Canada or The States it would have gone over a lot differently.
Coulda been worse but it still bled forever. Bf walked in after five minutes of me not coming back from the bathroom and was like what now hahaha. I was mostly annoyed cos it happened before I could go pee so I was bleeding and really had to go. Always go before you start the photoshoot I guess.
It’s hard to see glass on glass and oh I dunno wasn’t expecting a weapon like this. I pulled it out to get a better picture and that plunged into my thumb.
The beginning’s damage. When you first cut yourself or injure yourself there’s a moment of denial then wonderment of how bad is this going to be.
Loved the restaurant though, it’s an apotheek. I told you what that means before and the thing I cut myself with has something to do with that.
Freckle freckly.
Can you tell what that is.
We were totally under-dressed for this place, don’t care. Weren’t even planning to go out to eat, it started with a walk and then ducks and then dinner. I own pretentious places, in that that’s my mentality to not be intimidated at all, I’ve seen behind the scenes in kitchens and I’m a foodie so the allure just isn’t there, your fancy facade is just that.
It’s a great place though and we’ll def go back and the owner loved me/us and we minxed her. I got a bag of macaroons as a cutting myself consolation prize. I hate coconut, ok I don’t I just hate macaroons. Bf is all about ‘em though. There’s so many more pictures I took here but for some reason only selected these few when I got back Thurs night then was “over it”.
Common last name here. Giggle.
Duck Jesus. This time they got melba toast. Unsalted. It’s just one tiny batch of ducks, it’s not Ontario so the whole don’t feed them thing doesn’t fly plus we don’t care and I’m leaving in a week anyway they can go back to eating lake garbage.
For my uncle.
This reminds me there’s more work to do ughhhhhhhh. I’m actually secretly finishing this can off right now heheh.
Making soup makes a steamy kitchen. Alright that’s all I uploaded sorry for wasting your time. It’s Saturday you’re lucky you got anything at all. Have a nice w/e. RLW.
ps. good work New Yorker!
Duck yourself
Should I say ass gratitude prayers sometimes? I feel like I should. Kay bye.
blogupied
Hi. Me again. Yesterday late in the afternoon we went to our favourite park to feed the ducks and it was bananas. Or ducking futs. The night before we went and dumped all these crackers in the water and nothing I think ducks and fish abide by normal people sleep/eating schedules (LAME) but anyway today we will prob go back at the same time and do it again BECAUSE DUCKS. Maybe follow that up with a nap lets not get crazy now people. No lets.
Happy Pride BTW I love this photo I stole off Jezebel. Jezesmell. Love/hate those feminists, more so love. Anyway stroke thy inner gay all week long hey hey heyyy.
The carnies are coming. It’s HELL DAYS. Helle Poort. It’s neat that they have all these “things” in Holland that to me are strange or bizarre but no different than other things Canadians or Americans or Brits may celebrate. Like, Flag Day. What the hell is that other than the obvious?
That’s the Hell Day dog. If you see him on your property legend has it that SOMEONE WILL DIE. They are the messengers of bad news. Not necessarily that someone will die but PROBABLY. Or like, something Final Destination style and cos it’s farm country you’ll likely see the dog roaming a farmer’s field omg I just sharted.
Necklace park, favourite. Not actually called that but you know me by now I am an idiot. Just came back from there now and fed the ducks, it was adorable I don’t care how lame it sounds we are getting more and more Forrest Gump and kind of enabling each other to go full R-word today we thawed bread from the freezer, the good stuff, the rich brown bread and I like that because it’s not going in my mouth and henceforth my hips. Raymi 1; carbs 0.
Unfortunately they mowed down my daisy field though wtf. It’s nice and clean looking now but walking through it was uber whimsical and part of the to-ducks fun. Jerks. OH WELL.
Walky walk walk. Those are his vintage Nikes I made fun of once then he explained how they’re a retro look people wear here and I was like, still don’t get it. I hate that I come from a people of haters like elementary school back in bullying days everyone ripped everyone to pieces so if you wore pointyish shoes like these for gym class you were one of the poor kids. I remember that and it stuck. Frigging assholes. I wasn’t a “poor kid” but I saw how they got ripped on (don’t worry I was a leader and stepped in a lot) but now these NIKES are over a hundred Euros to purchase.
Look at my thumbnail I painted it pretty stupid. They’re getting longer again so the obsession continues.
SO science fiction retro robot.
I look pale and lip-less BUT my hair looks long, is getting long. You guys are fucked now I am going to be so hair flippingly arrogant. Platinum is fine if you abide by a healthy diet of no partying then it will have a better chance to rejuvenate and as we get older we grow less hair too so that’s also working against you. I can still feel hairs breaking every so often but with darker hair it grows healthier, thankfully.
Holding a whipping switch which is also part of the experience. First it’s a secret tickle on your neck or ear then you realize it’s not nature but Raymi then it’s a whip fight til the thing disintegrates. FUN.
Holy crap how fabulous am I. That’s one of my blog pose head tilt tricks. You’re welcome. Think I’ll insta this one. Later though it has taken all day to blog this garbage, hella ADD + I don’t finish posts in one sitting anymore. God bless Save Draft.
Sky porn.
Still holding my weapon cool cool.
I can’t wait to be tanned and jacket-less.
Okay dork.
Sinfluence.
Okay okay blergh blah here’s some life of Raymi now.
Please don’t be offended by this, be offended by other things but not this. We were playing the secret middle finger game and he got a pic of me in action and I was like, I look great under a table! This is dinner in Holland Friday night it was outtasite!
This is my lady Bieber jacket he’s like what? Beaver? Yeah that too. Luckily this sports bra works as a wicked bathing suit top and isn’t see-through wuhoo double layer. Miley wears one in her new video can someone tell her to stop biting her bottom lip “all gangster” please. Now in the category of just saying I did white sports bra first. Life is a contest. Only when you win by accident though, when I lose “I don’t care”.
Sunday. Germany.
And now without the older version of us. Learned that Sunday is not a good day to come here if one is fungry. I didn’t mind at them moments the sun was out it was quite spectacular looking up at the castle but the young family beside us and their precocious toddler girl kept running into the street and the doofus dad was barely watching her, we got stressed.
I didn’t wear makeup or sunglasses and with sun in my face and dumb smile I look like Sam Crenshaw. My Canadian readers love when I say that. It’s cos my eyes get squinty like his and my “aristocratic” nose.
At da club. My arms strike a balance between toned not fat but not toned. Time for more triceps.
This pizza was great I can’t remember what it was called but it had meats on it mushrooms, red onion, and it was super good.
Oysters were fishy. But still good. Fishy bad though, can’t deal. Dealt.
German for Car wash. You learn just so much here don’t you.
Off to castle.
Hi.
So many crazy downhill lanes, I walked back to the car to grab my coat to sit on and I had to super pay attention to my foot placement between the cobblestones my ankle is already wicked f–ed. But yesterday I forced myself to run, more of a fast stupid looking jog but still progress. I CAN run from zombies. Yes in answer to your internal observation my boobs DO look huge. My face looks like that cos I didn’t want to pose here I wanted the wall with the classic red triangle shutters. All my photo “poses” are candid for the most part cos no one has patience around here.
RRrrrrrowsers. Sitting in the sun on the only sun patio part makes you feel special, chosen. The sun has chosen me. Everyone looks, you feel observed so you have to smile or ignore, two options.
Days before then I can’t remember which one lets say last Monday it was hot so after the beach then the Germany pool we stayed in Germany to have Greek dinner yum. They gave complimentary shots of ouzo at the beginning of the meal, very smart business that. As he was taking his sip after we “proost” (cheersed) I said see you on the other side of our fight and he laugh spat ouzo everywhere, ZING.
Nails look manky here but they match his shorts. BTW the wasterslides at that pool are intense and the kids, omg passive aggressive as hell hogging the slides once they got to the top and just SIT THERE I’m like are you gonna move kid? My English speaking persuasion held no power there WTF!
Move please.
It was sunnier earlier and still very warm. Patio watching is a great past time.
MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm. Calamari and (Hardest word ever) tzatziki is SO GOOD.
Wow my hair looks so much more red back then I want to dye it every 2 weeks to keep building the colour up the ends are lightening already.
Pool water curly. Today my hair is like super long a ringa ding dong.
Sometimes the “holy shit” handles are actually necessary.
Feets in Germany belly fulla Greek.
Don’t look now a German sunset. Okay look treat yo’self.
To think guys at home get my sunset sloppy seconds six hours later AND FACE. I’ll stop talking like that. Eventually.
I was getting conceited from my Alicia Silverstoner hair flip in the sun.
Bun hair helps make the curl and lake water plus pool plus lets go now right now.
Of course you are called Fritz.
If I didn’t tell you this was on the border of Germany/Holland you’d think it was Wasaga or MTL.
I am really gonna miss this fucking place. Life is a journey. Where to next.
To the German waters. Ducks and birds got all territorial at us and swarmed us but of course we had no food. Had to hold my flip flop up at certain points, I don’t care I’ll slap a duck if I have to. Those beak pecks are vicious. Vroom vroom time to vacuum! OUTTIE.
PBE V SPOT
Hi assholes ready for more internet you may have/probably seen already with a Raymi Bunny twist? Don’t answer that rhetorical Q cos it’s V SPOT TIME you dummy! I’ll give you a quick taste of one of the videos RIGHT MEOW because IpretendLU.
“He’s a really big deal, I know, I’m told this.” Um stupid MSNBC bitch, what you actually know is shit outside the American brainwashing landscape bubble what is your think locally; act locally ignorant mind. Russell Brand goes on Morning Joe to promote his Messiah Complex tour and these three morning show jerk-offs have no fucking clue who or what he is and is big time cringe-inducing to watch them be so HEE-HAW rude to him until Brand starts calling ‘em on their shit. “Well thank you for your casual objectification.” And how. These morons should do their homework next time, because the on air awkwardness emanating from this shit-interview, “shiterview” is not a good look for MSNBC, Russell then goes on to manically report actual news delving into Snowden territory. Sorry MSNBC, but in the game of Dumb vs smart, you’re the former and the country Russell Brand (the guy you acted so coolly aloof about) hails from the latter. AND FACE.
NOW READ THE REST/ENJOY. Peace, love Raymi Bunny.
LIFE SLAY
Just before it started pissing and hollering out yesterday. It was still pretty warm, I like when weather sits on its head like that.
2:30 in the afternoon darkness. A gypsy earring represents.
Here I’m thinking how great an idea flip flops was.
Spooky starts to settle in. You should probs be listening to the Black Keys for this.
TWO THIRTY. Storm’s a comin’.
Driving to Germany. Took an interesting route to the border where there’s no sign and I wouldn’t know we’d crossed over unless he pointed it out. He pointed it out.
Nice fence.
Afternoon high beams.
Storms scare and excite me.
Lost highway.
Can you tell the difference between the unhappy and the happy (he had a ring on she didn’t) couple? I can.
It was guzzling out and so had an inclusive atmosphere about it.
High ceilings in Gatsby style.
And everybody watched everybody else just a little bit.
It was late so it was almost like early dinner I suppose and we ordered as such.
