here is the story of how we met as told to lia via gchat (easier this way)

Lia: u didnt meet in oakville though, right?

me: we did

Lia: aww cute – gimme the story

me: my mom was dating this guy who lived beside fils moms house
one day she and i go for a walk and bump into fils stepdad
and im looking super hot
then fil shows up on his motorcycle, also looking super hot
we eyed each other up
i go to the local pub with fils stepdad and my mom
fil’s ex is there who is calling him nonstop to show up cos im there, she fell in love with me too
then he shows up
im still technically dating this coke dealer
but had broken up with him that day basically
he showed up with a note that i read to the entire bar cos it had tons of spelling mistakes in it
fil shows up we drink i have plans to go to toronto, but before i left i open mouth kissed him on the mouth and slipped him the tongue
didnt see him for two more weeks cos of other drama
then we went on a date to a play
we held hands

Lia: holy fuck best story EVER

me: i was constantly trying to fuck him but he wouldnt cos he was weary of my past and ex
i finally broke him down
he told me he couldnt be my bf
so it made me crazy
i said we cannot be friends then cos i want u so badly
so i started hanging around younger dudes who were crazy about me, laying jealousy traps
it worked
then we chose halloween as our anniversary
all the crazy courting hanging out took place over a summer
it was tough work man

Phil: cool story hansel

me: do u have anything to add to it
like what were you doing at yer apt while we waited for you at the pub
were you pacing like ross
staring at the pub out of your window?

Phil: hahaha no

me: yeah right
were u practicing your moves
lines

Phil: but i think afterward i read half of your archives

me: HA
what else
then you were like what a slut this is so ON

Phil: haha totally

me: you thought we were gonna do it that nite and then i fucked off to toronto BURN

Phil: oh and when i met you i thought you had an accent

me: no that was slurring

Phil: no no i didnt think we were going to do anything

me: wtf did u think that
u told me u thought u were gonna get some that nite

Phil: oh i dunno
i was dazed

me: dazed?

Phil: also, change the wording of your story
i didnt want to have sex because you still had a bf

me: im adding this to the bottom of the post

Phil: you hadn’t broken up

me: well yeah that day i had told him it was over which is why he wrote me a stupid letter

Phil: even still you guys were still a couple
technically
remember you two came over
then he fucked off

me: technically that day, until i told him it was over, then it was just a weaning him off of me process

Phil: you were still a couple then
yes well i am a dude of honour

me: no we weren’t i was letting him think it was so
whatever anyway

Phil: and if you are not broken up officially then…

me: nothing else to add?
other than this boring technicality shit, that asshole didn’t deserve any honour whatsoever
he had a gf on the side for the majority of our relationship
fuck him

Phil: no, i don’t care about him… i care about me, and my obviously impossible standards of honour

me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ok final chance to add something romantic to that afternoon

Phil: seriously though i thought you had an accent
i met up with matt later (before the pub) and told him i met a super hot chick with an accent
i thought maybe you were an exchange student
at first

me: HAHAHA
and then when we hung out later on and i didnt have an accent did you say something to me about it

Phil: dont think so

me: i swear i was not faking an accent, ive learned my lesson about that

this is the skirt i was wearing when i met fil

and i think i was wearing this tank with it

or might have been this black one

and here we are on one of our first dates at santa cruz

click to make it bigger if that helps.

aw thanks dinky i love you! after four long years i only want to strangle you sometimes <3.

fil and i are going to do anniversary dinner tonite a day early WHERE SHOULD WE GO? is sassafraz crap? neither of us have been before is the hype even worth it? maybe for comedy’s sake it is. spying on show boaters is one of my favourite hobbies. the c5 prix fixe dinner menu does not excite me, for main your choice is pizza or pasta and i’m trying to wean myself from carbs again (even though i made love to some sweet lulu last nite and fil’s leftovers for most of today) so pasta bread is a no no. i’m also paranoid the portions will be tiny modernist size, like uh thanks for the handful of lettuce and that one oyster. guh. buh. fuh. muh?

i just tried on my slutty nun costume with wig and there is no way i am ever wearing it again so who wants a nun costume? pfft “again” i never even wore it out period!

oh that picture of me up there reading reminds me of this one a bit, i believe i am 17 here and this was at the italian bar/cafe in streetsville i used to go to during my spares to drink then not bother going back to school (i know!)(and they served me!)(how pretentious!) and oh whatever everyone else was going to class on acid. i would be one of the only customers and i’d drink specialty coffees, then come back later at nite with buds and sometimes have difficulty getting in, until they recognized me more as the loner girl who wrote in her journal in a booth. oh man the myspace jokes just write themselves don’t they?

update:

1. the old guy screaming woke me up this morning after fil went to work and he just fired it up again, i was about to scream at his door but fil called, he got lucky.

2. someone at the end of the hall used the garbage chute last nite at 12.30 fucking scoundrel, wait til i’m naked and can’t run after you. he too got lucky.

3. the bad kids are in the park right now and i am coincidentally googling crossbows.

4. that ISN’T a coincidence.

5. remind me to call the city about the little building in that park, someone unlocked the door somehow and the kids enjoy slamming it over and over and over again and probably touch each other when they go inside and i bet come snow time it will be hobo haven. they’re thinking of turning it into a dog park. what is more annoying: children screaming when i’m hungover OR dogs barking when i’m hungover? thanks to these twerps i am looking forward to sub zero temperatures. not so fun hanging around a park then eh?

can i hire this girl after school you think?

also you know when you’re in a funk and decide to treat yourself to some shitty television programming as a gift to comfort your sad little self – why come it makes you feel ten times worse WITHOUT FAIL? like saved by the bell the new class ugh. i’m waiting for full house to come on to save me from this crap. ok TMI. ok wait i feel better than these actors right now actually. yesterday though, this made me down right sour. can you tell i am procrastinating from putting together a dinner outfit?

ok i super hate this Natalia Cigliuti chick for some reason she is making me wicked incensed, i think it’s because her hair is tucked behind each ear and she has bobby pins on top of that and her hair is mid-length and she’s just way too physical with all that fucking hair and head shaking and earnest facial expressions. also seeing as each character is meant to somewhat replace the previous cast, this chick just doesn’t compare to kelly kapowski at all. don’t pretend this shit doesn’t bug you too.

ok right now they’re all getting in shit from mr. belding about custom designed nikes (as air screech), he says it’s illegal. dude! too bad mr. belding didn’t have the foresight to get himself a crystal ball, moron.

i can’t even promise that i will never blog about this show again.

oh man this episode of FH is tops.

you guys were really into the mother’s day gift video (wimps) so why not come along for this ride, oh and if you know the conversion of currency into dollars what this shit is all worth let me know so i can properly play the guilt card thank you. i also look extremely tired in this video, didn’t eat all day, crap lighting in the bedroom and i’m bloated. pics of the potions and lotions below the video (which should be processed shortly) ok bath time.

what kind of made up currency is this??

as told by steph, written by raymi age 13 or 14 (for school, not for fun!)

there’s a second part video but i’ll be surprised if any of you sit through this terrible terrible tale, i mean super hilarious drunken self-absorbed reading.

! !!!!!!!! !! !

Raymi,

-Jacki

this is a time when you say yes i am totes happy for you then stomp off loudly and bitterly.

and now i will share with you an extremely flattering picture of sickraymi last nite w/ leftover shitty makeup

this is hilarious to me right now cos i look so pale when really my face is getting darker cos i’ve been using jergens natural glow daily moisturizer. there’s like 50 bottles at shoppers on the clearance rack reduced to 2.99 from 7.99 well there was when i drunk bought one monday nite. the clearance rack is my weakness. i also bought children’s cough drops what?

fil is really into his pj’s the first thing he said to me this morning was that we needed them in christmas plaid next and then i pulled a muscle in my neck from my hair being caught between all the pillows what the hell. i am falling apart here people.

gee i dunno guys, aside from looking and feeling like death right now not to mention looking fuck all like gwyneth paltrow, not sure about this get-up. well i at least could wear my coat all nite long. FUN.

if i go this route the wig would need some altering for sure though i don’t think i want to cut it, it’s also way too light.

on the plus side i’m sweating my balls off right now feeling feverish and i look like i just blasted myself with a makeup shotgun, yes, more so than usual.

buhruuuuuuuuutal. that’s a gum cigarette.

i believe pre-menstrual’s in the house therefore tube dress skinny courage meter is dippin’ pretty low.

also i’ve been experiencing body numbness off and on since saturday morning, it’s been bumming me out. i didn’t want to mention it cos like gee it’s always something right and plus my mom emails me straight away with mental health garbage and it stresses my dad out, i’ve had scans before, saw a neurologist and nothing was found to be wrong with me. i haven’t had this for awhile can’t exactly remember the last time, it just really blows when you can’t feel your hands feet body, the temperature of water (dangerous) or hair texture (impossible to braid my hair god it’s pathetic) and going out to darkly lit bars is also very frustrating and embarrassing when you can’t feel where your body ends and somebody else’s begins so you constantly bump, tap, whatever into people and look plastered when you’re not. i was extremely nervous going down the stairs to the bathroom, i had to do this cheesy side step shuffle every time. when we went to wendy’s on saturday even just walking on normal ground i had to stamp and stomp through the restaurant i felt so dumb, i looked like i was walking on the moon patting the air ahead of me to feel where the ground is. anyway don’t write me pity comments and dad don’t flip out! i’m sure it will gradually go away soon i just need to move around a lot more and get my circulation going. do you think zoloft caused this? it came on immediately after i tried on my pajama onesie (no you won’t catch it cos fil is right as rain after wearing his a ton) so maybe it’s an allergy. SIGHHHHHHHHH.

Hello Raymi!

~Dawn

THANKS FOR CHOOSING ME OVER JESUS YOU GUYS!

You’re just a very cool chick. And I love your attitude about life. I mean after all, in certain situations my girlfriends and I have actually said to ourselves: What would Raymi do in this situation? And now we decided to make necklaces showing our love.. Gonna have to make one for you and send it your way.

And yes we love you more then Jesus.. Not that he wasnt a cool guy, anyone who perfers wine over water is alright in my book, but your real and thats important.