Q. My husband died several months ago, and people keep asking me whether I’m going to sell my house and downsize or move somewhere else entirely. How do others decide what to do?
Therapists and counselors who work with bereaved spouses commonly advise: Wait a year or so before finalizing the decision, unless you have no choice for financial or other…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on March 21, 2017 at 11:30am — No Comments
Q. I’ve heard that some widows experience “complicated grief.” How does it differ from ordinary grief, and who’s at risk? I’m a widow myself.
Grief is the emotional and physical response to the death of a loved one, featuring symptoms such as sadness, anxiety, panic, numbness, fatigue, shock. After my own husband…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on October 5, 2016 at 9:30am — No Comments
Q. I’ve read about coloring books for adults that somehow help reduce stress. Are any of them for widows?
I haven’t found any that focus specifically on widows, but "Colors of Loss and Healing: An Adult Coloring Book for Getting Through Tough Times" by Deborah H. Derman, Ph.D., targets readers who have had…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on August 2, 2016 at 1:00pm — 1 Comment
Q. My husband died over a year ago, and I’ve just started to date. I find myself wondering how my grown children will react if I actually meet someone and want to marry again. What are the possible snags, and what can I do to smooth the way?
A new man is welcomed in most…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on May 31, 2016 at 2:00pm — No Comments
Q. I’ve been asked to join some women acquaintances on a long weekend excursion. The participants are widows (like me) or divorced. What do you think?
I’m all for it. In fact, I’ve been doing something similar for several years. The “all girls” trip has become an annual highlight. In my case, the idea took hold after my husband, an attorney, died. One of his biggest clients was a business trade organization, which held…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on April 29, 2016 at 9:30am — No Comments
Q. I’m doing OK since my husband died, except for the loneliness. It’s so hard to deal with. I wonder how others manage, and what seems to work best. Your advice?
My dictionary defines “lonely” as “without companions” or “solitary,” and notes that the first recorded use of the word…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on March 18, 2016 at 11:00am — No Comments
Q. I met someone who remarried after her husband died. Recently, her second husband also died. How common is it to be widowed twice? How do people survive this?
I personally know of four widows who lost two husbands each. It's becoming a trend of sorts as we live longer and there's more time to start over again. The number of Americans 100 years old or older increased 43.6 percent between 2000 and 2014, according to…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on February 10, 2016 at 2:00pm — 1 Comment
Q. I'm a widow about to start online dating. I'm a bit nervous, and also worried about how I can avoid online scams. A close friend just got burned. What do you suggest?
Over 41.2 million people in the U.S. tried an online dating site in 2014, according to the Better Business…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on January 12, 2016 at 10:00am — 2 Comments
Q. It’s been a few years since my husband died, yet I still dread the December holiday doldrums. I feel like a weight is pulling me down, even though I have an active life. Any words of wisdom?
The month of December, bringing Christmas and the New Year can…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on December 8, 2015 at 7:30am — 1 Comment
Q. I’m a widow who is blessed with the support of a small group of friends and relatives. I also do volunteer work. I’m slim and healthy at 65. But I have no children, and I often feel isolated and lonely. I’d love to meet a nice man, start out with a friendship, and see where it goes. Do you have any suggestions, besides Internet…
Added by Florence Isaacs on October 13, 2015 at 7:00am — No Comments
Added by Florence Isaacs on September 16, 2015 at 10:30am — No Comments
Q. In the last year or so, a divorced acquaintance told me, "Divorce is just as devastating as the death of your husband." Another said, "Divorce is worse." The remarks came from out of the blue. I felt…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on September 11, 2015 at 3:00pm — 1 Comment
Wikimedia Commons | LJP assistant
Q. My sister and I have had a rocky relationship for much of our lives, yet we seem to be drawing closer now that my husband has died. Is this unusual?
According to family therapist Karen…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on August 14, 2015 at 1:30pm — No Comments
(Flickr Creative Commons | Reviving Memories)
Q. In my bedroom I display an 8x10 photo of my late husband at his best. Smaller photos that include him (shots of happy family events and our many trips) are scattered…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on June 22, 2015 at 10:00am — 1 Comment
Q. I am happily remarried after six years as a widow. My first husband is buried in a family plot I purchased when he died. My own plot is right next to his. The graves of my parents and other relatives are in the same cemetery. However, my second husband talks about me being buried with him in another state, close to his children.…
Added by Florence Isaacs on April 6, 2015 at 10:00am — No Comments
Q. I lost my husband about a year ago, and still am not ready for dating. Yet widowers I know (or have heard about) seem to be interested in a new relationship almost right away. How come?
Both research and demographics confirm your observations. In a 1996 Annals of Clinical Psychiatry study of…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on March 18, 2015 at 10:00am — 1 Comment
Q. I'm facing my first Valentine's Day since my husband died. We used to exchange fun gifts and go out to dinner to celebrate, and I dread spending it without him this year. How do others handle it?
Valentine's Day without your spouse can be hard, especially for the first time. It's one of those…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on February 9, 2015 at 10:30am — No Comments
Q. My husband died a few months ago, and I've got a pile of sympathy cards and notes to respond to, not to mention messages posted on the funeral home website and elsewhere online. He knew a lot of people. Do I have to write to everyone, and how much time do I have to do it? I feel overwhelmed.
Responding to expressions of sympathy has always been a monumental task for widows. It's hard enough to put one foot in…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on January 15, 2015 at 11:30am — No Comments
Q. A friend of mine, a widow like myself, volunteers at a soup kitchen every year at holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m thinking of joining her, but I’ve never volunteered before. What do you think?
A Chinese proverb advises, “If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else.” I’ve found that to be true and I know many other widows who have added meaning to their lives through volunteer work at…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on December 19, 2014 at 2:00pm — 2 Comments
Flickr Creative Commons | Ares Nguyen
Q. Why don’t people remember the anniversary of my husband’s death? Even my husband’s sister and brother don’t seem to be aware of it or mark it in any way. It bothers me that he’s forgotten.…
ContinueAdded by Florence Isaacs on November 19, 2014 at 2:30pm — No Comments
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