Trina ... This is my email address: Maday1@shaw.ca
Marsha
I hear you Trina, these whole year has been surreal, I look at the place where Pablo used to sit & still can't believe he is no longer here with me, I miss him more & more everyday, I can't stop crying, I feel the same way, why couldn't I have left with him, I want to be with him again but then I think that it would be devastating for my sons & sister & now my first grandson, it would be too hard for my sons to also lose their mother after having lost their father, never in a million years did I envisioned my life without him, I always thought that we would grow old together & now that both my boys were married, we had started to enjoy going on vacations more often, now to never be again, I simply don't know how to live without him, I also feel guilty because too many things were left unsaid because I thought I had more time to tell him, I sure hope he can listen to my words & hear what my heart feels, sorry for my rambling on & on, having a pretty bad day & not looking forward to tomorrow or the next few months for the matter, I sure hope we can all find some peace at one point in our lives.
Sending hugs,
Elvira
Sorry for your loss Trina, this was also my first Christmas without my husband, he's been gone for 10 months, my first holiday without him was just 5 days after his death, it was Valentine's day, I know exactly your feelings, we all here do, one way or another, sorry you had to come to this forum but it has helped me a lot knowing I am not crazy & that I still cry every single day since he died, I had to also go thru what would have been our 34th wedding anniversary in October, & next month, both our birthdays with his anniversary death on February 9th, I wish you some peace & send you some hugs, we all need them.
Elvira
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