Numb. That’s the only word Adam Hastie uses to describe what it felt like to hear his partner of 10 years, Tarah diagnosed with breast cancer at age 27.

His next thought? “What the hell are we going to do?”

Coping with cancer doesn’t exactly come with a how to guide, so Adam, who says he was far from the perfect caregiver, tried to help where he could.

“I stopped working to help out around the house and with treatment – and I made sure I was at every single meeting. I couldn’t really do much, but drive Tarah there, and chill out on the couch with her after. She’s such a trooper.”

For Adam, who wants all praise directed at his “absolutely amazing wife,” physically being there was his way to show support – and when Tarah lost all her hair, Adam shaved both his and then two-year-old son Chester’s heads in solidarity.

It was important for Adam and Tarah that Chester, now six, understood mum was not well.

“We wanted Chester to be aware of it, but he didn’t need to see something like his mother vomiting after chemo.”

Adam admits it was incredibly difficult to find the balance between hearing Tarah’s fears and cheering her up.

“Tarah was really concerned that she’d die, so she drew up exactly what she wanted for our son for his eighteenth birthday and his marriage, as if she wasn’t going to be here anymore. I felt really sad and terrified for her.”

Thankfully Tarah, who’s been in remission five years now, could tear up those plans, but it was only when she started speaking at National Breast Cancer Foundation events that Adam’s grief surfaced.

“I was numb just trying to get by day by day, but when I heard Tarah talking about these beautiful things she wanted at important milestones in Chester’s life, I started to bawl my eyes out.”

As honest and open as they were, not only with each other, but with family and friends during the cancer experience, Adam felt overwhelmed by how worried Tarah must have been. He credits open communication with getting through.

“I think a lot of people shelter things in their life, or keep it private, where as we told everybody. Sure, cancer is a downer, but it makes it easier. Everybody knew, and everybody was helping out in their own little ways.”

For Adam his joy came out of seeing Tarah get better.

“We always had the opinion life is too short, but cancer has really taught us to enjoy the small, simple, wholesome things. You shouldn’t treat life too seriously.”

Today, Tarah and Adam want to continue to raise awareness about breast cancer – which is why Adam wears a pink hi-vis vest on the building site where he works.

You see, Tarah’s diagnosis came through her persistence and knowing her body, explains Adam.

“The first doctor said to her ‘you’re just a young girl, who’s got lumpy breasts.’ Tarah felt something still wasn’t right and went back for another check – and it was the same message again. It was playing on her mind, so I told her to just ask for the test. When the results came back, they didn’t prep her, they just said ‘looks like you’ve got breast cancer.’ It was brutal.”

Adam hopes the pink vest serves as a visual reminder that breast cancer doesn't discriminate.

“I want the awareness message at the forefront of everyone’s mind. If you have a situation where you think something is wrong, act on it – and the same applies to men, because blokes can get breast cancer, too. If me wearing a pink vest can trigger something and help just one person, it’s worth it.”

For the high school sweethearts, life after cancer is about finding a new normal, as both romantic and business partners.

“When we first started out, it would have been testing to work together, but now it’s easy. Cancer does give you perspective. Obviously we have disagreements, but it’s awesome. I pinch myself, life is really good right now.”

Through the Real Men Wear Pink campaign, NBCF hopes to raise more than $1.5 million through community support, to fund breast cancer research. Register to fundraise via realmenwearpink.org.au.