We could have been Canada?
Maybe this whole United States of America thing was a terrible mistake — or are we giving up without a fight?
Friday, May 19, 2017 7:00 PM EDTSatire Adam Gopnik, Canada
Maybe this whole United States of America thing was a terrible mistake — or are we giving up without a fight?
Neal Pollack Friday, May 19, 2017 7:00 PM EDTMichael Kinsley is right about the Donald: He is the leader of America and we revere and respect him
Neal Pollack Thursday, May 11, 2017 11:00 PM EDTBerkeley protestors are heinous enemies of free speech, which is too bad because I have some hideous things to say
Neal Pollack Thursday, May 4, 2017 10:59 PM EDTAsians, Mexican, Buddhists, the DNC, Jews, the Swiss — Sullivan draws lots of conclusions, but never stereotypes
Neal Pollack Thursday, Apr 20, 2017 11:00 PM EDTAuthor Neal Pollack supplements his 14-year-old son's education with dubious life lessons VIDEO
Neal Pollack Friday, Mar 31, 2017 12:30 AM EDTFor some, offering opinion is a public service; it's not responsible to neglect my duty for one moment more
Neal Pollack Thursday, Mar 23, 2017 11:00 PM EDTIf you're looking for classes in bootstrap pulling or the biology of venereal disease, there's a school for you
Neal Pollack Friday, Mar 3, 2017 12:00 AM EDTBarking mad celebrities will call for everything from the end of contact sports to a clothing-optional Congress
Neal Pollack Friday, Feb 24, 2017 12:00 AM EDTIt is obvious that a coup is underway, about to become underway, or may in fact already be over
Neal Pollack Friday, Feb 17, 2017 12:00 AM EDTNext to a sweep by Meryl Streep, nothing is more aggravating than the best picture going to the most deserving film
Neal Pollack Thursday, Feb 9, 2017 11:59 PM EDTSwept up by the militarized monitors of social media, our hero finds himself in a writers' gulag
Neal Pollack Saturday, Feb 4, 2017 12:00 AM EDTTrump's America Is tearing us asunder, as told to Ken Burns
Neal Pollack Friday, Jan 27, 2017 12:00 AM EDTAmerica steers from calm, sophisticated literary waters into a stormy sludge of innuendo and racist frog memes
Neal Pollack Thursday, Jan 19, 2017 11:59 PM EDTDonald Trump, like a giant orange snail, has left a vast, compromised trail of slime
Neal Pollack Sunday, Jan 15, 2017 9:30 PM EDTSo, the alt-right adder got a big book deal. He's a skinny punk who can't hope to compete with me
Neal Pollack Friday, Jan 6, 2017 12:00 AM EDTWhere did you go, America? We'll never see another Labor Day, likely no Fourth of July, no Valentine's Day either
Neal Pollack Thursday, Dec 22, 2016 11:58 AM EDTMy colleagues in the press are all behaving like 8-year-olds, Trump will be the best President The U.S. ever had
Neal Pollack Friday, Dec 16, 2016 12:00 AM EDTEverything Trump says should be believed, everything. Unless you agree with it. Then he is lying. Resist now!
Neal Pollack Thursday, Dec 8, 2016 11:59 PM EDTWe met in Buenos Aires steak house and with my help, Fidel Castro changed the word almost as much as I did
Neal Pollack Friday, Dec 2, 2016 12:00 AM EDTRetreat from Trump's America into a haze of sativa smoke; there you will find the Greatest Living American Writer
Neal Pollack Thursday, Nov 24, 2016 7:00 PM EDTTo be great again, America must have a lone philosopher whispering truths in the orange ear of the king. I am he.
Neal Pollack Friday, Nov 18, 2016 12:00 AM EDTDonald Trump's election has shown the ivory tower how important it is, the Greatest Living American Writer tells us
Neal Pollack Friday, Nov 11, 2016 12:00 AM EDTThe FBI will find emails of a most private nature between Hillary Clinton and The Greatest Living American Writer
Neal Pollack Thursday, Nov 3, 2016 10:59 PM EDTWith Clinton well ahead and time running out, it was essential that I risk all to offer her my endorsement
Neal Pollack Thursday, Oct 27, 2016 11:00 PM EDTOnly The Greatest living American Writer has seen the "American Experiment" from its start to flaming finish
Neal Pollack Thursday, Oct 20, 2016 10:59 PM EDTWho besides The Greatest Living American Writer could have been Bill and Hillary Clinton's most trusted confidant?
Neal Pollack Tuesday, Oct 11, 2016 10:59 PM EDTAbandon all hope, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, The Greatest Living American Writer will cover Sunday's debate
Neal Pollack Thursday, Oct 6, 2016 11:00 PM EDTWithout cultural appropriation, white authors like The Greatest Living American Writer would be denied sombreros!
Neal Pollack Thursday, Sep 29, 2016 10:59 PM EDTOur forefathers slaughtered and enslaved millions for one reason: so we could stand during a song at a ball game
Neal Pollack Wednesday, Sep 21, 2016 1:30 AM EDTA journey of 1,000 words begins with a single dose of hipster hallucinogen for the Greatest Living American Writer
Neal Pollack Thursday, Sep 15, 2016 11:00 PM EDTUpon hearing the Gray Lady/Man needs a gender editor, The Greatest Living American Writer edited his/her gender
Neal Pollack Thursday, Sep 8, 2016 11:00 PM EDTJourneying deep into the heartland by SUV, The Greatest Living American Writer became one with a forgotten people
Neal Pollack Thursday, Sep 1, 2016 11:00 PM EDTWeep not for Nick Denton or Gawker — weep instead for the site's humblest star, the Greatest Living American Writer
Neal Pollack Monday, Aug 22, 2016 11:00 PM EDTThe latest Prince of Darkness to abandon Trump is his erstwhile squash partner, the Greatest Living American Writer
Neal Pollack Thursday, Aug 18, 2016 12:00 PM EDTThe intellectuals of the world must rise above the Trump rabble to bring back that old-timey democracy
Neal Pollack Saturday, Mar 12, 2016 10:30 PM EDTI never told anyone about my life-altering encounter with David Bowie. Now that he is dead, people should know
Neal Pollack Tuesday, Jan 12, 2016 11:58 PM EDTSorry if I "hurt" the "feelings" of the p.c. police with my "insensitivity." Satirist Neal Pollack joins the fray
Neal Pollack Thursday, Jan 29, 2015 11:59 PM EDTThere is only one response to Leon Wieseltier's New York Times essay: Parody
Neal Pollack Wednesday, Jan 21, 2015 11:59 PM EDTThe New York Times presented a Swedish interview with Roth this weekend. This is sort of how it went
Neal Pollack Monday, Mar 3, 2014 5:10 PM EDTI saw the Velvets 350 times. No one influenced my art and poetry more. A special tribute from his biggest fan
Neal Pollack Tuesday, Oct 29, 2013 5:09 PM EDTPage 1 of 2 in Neal Pollack
Neal Pollack has been the Greatest Living American Writer since the dawn of American letters in the early 1930s, or possibly before. He first came to the public’s attention writing for McSweeney’s in the late 1990s, and then through the publication of "The Neal Pollack Anthology Of American Literature," the greatest book in American literary history, and possibly in the literary history of all the Americas. The author of dozens of books of fiction, nonfiction, fictional nonfiction, poetry, screenplays, interviews, and diet tips, Neal Pollack lives in a mansion on the summit of Mount Winchester with his beleaguered manservant, Roger. He has outlived Christopher Hitchens, Gore Vidal, Norman Mailer, and many more, and will outlive all of you, too. Follow him on Twitter at @NealPollack