Hi Mary Jane,
Thank you for the friend request - sometimes this is easier to use, with the added advantage of being free to say things more candidly without offending or confusing the other family members in Bereaved Spouses. I get it completely about how frustrating it is to post sometimes - the same thing happens to me all the time, and on top of that I have Windows XP and a less than top drawer access through my phone co., mostly because of severe budget constraints. That's why I can't always get on and just write quickly when I want to, so believe me I won't think you rude for taking time to reply, and know you will excuse me too!
I won't keep blathering now, except to say I haven't read yours or any other posts for a few days, but your comment about waking up crying is so familiar to me - sometimes tears start gathering and running down my face without my hardly noticing it anymore...sadly it is such a familiar feeling that I just hope I'm not in a store or talking to a neighbor. With friends, or of course Steve, I don't worry about it because they aren't upset or uncomfortable, they just reach for my hand or pass the tissues calmly. Friends- TRUE friends - are the most precious thing to me after my beloved Larry, and now Steve.
If you are inclined, I am giving you my email address off this site, so we can exchange notes and/or photos without worrying about words being censored. No, I don't have a potty mouth, but you will find that some words and expressions that seem tame are blocked to avoid offending anyone. I think that's a good thing, but have to re-type things trying to figure out what was objectionable in my original post, and that gets tedious after awhile.
I hope this gets through, and am so glad you are joining the conversations now, because these folks here really are very kind and honest, and have pulled me back from the brink of madness more than once I assure you! Have a pleasant weekend, find some peace for yourself, and write whenever you feel like it - I'm listening, and don't be afraid of asking me stuff, because I'm pretty mello as a person.
Love,
Chuck