Apr 25
Click for full imageSarah J Comments: Zombie squirrel head people, plus inflatable attention getting thing, hang out at Sarnath: Bokrug the detestable water lizard looks on.
Published 1971
(Average: 7.98 out of 10)
Loading...
Sarah J Comments: Zombie squirrel head people, plus inflatable attention getting thing, hang out at Sarnath: Bokrug the detestable water lizard looks on.
Published 1971
(Average: 7.98 out of 10)Loading...
(9.20 out of 10) (9.20 out of 10) (9.14 out of 10) (9.13 out of 10) (9.12 out of 10) (9.11 out of 10) (9.10 out of 10) (9.10 out of 10) (9.08 out of 10) (9.07 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
April 25th, 2013 at 9:35 am
Sometimes I think we need a tag to mark creatures that look as if they say “Grrrrr!” And one for creatures that say “Woooooo!”
This cover needs both.
I like the trouble the artist has gone to to stick those green creatures on the surface of the Moon (Sun? Planet?), and then to reflect them in the water. Good show, sir!
Yes, that’s the one thing I like.
April 25th, 2013 at 11:09 am
Hmmn. Not sure if this is *quite* what Lovecraft had in mind, but it does say “they danced horribly”, and if that’s not horrible dancing, I don’t know what is.
April 25th, 2013 at 11:20 am
Where the Wild Things Blarrgh.
April 25th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Suggested tags: skull rocks; skull-like rock formations; rocks with eye sockets. A subset of natural elements (clouds, fire, smoke, trees, water) that incorporate the image of a skull. Category: visual cliches. Skulls a’ poppin’.
April 25th, 2013 at 1:54 pm
Lovely stuff, Mr Hering. Henceforth shall the miserably under-populated “skull” tag be known as “skulls a-poppin'”.
April 25th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
“They danced horribly” refers simply to white people dancing.
BA-DA-BUM!
April 25th, 2013 at 2:35 pm
I can’t decide if this illustrates Disneyland after dark, or the starting line of the 100m dash at the Sarnath Summer Olympics.
April 25th, 2013 at 3:13 pm
Nothing screams ‘horror!’ more than the bored drawings done by some teenager trapped in biology class
‘Hmm. Iguana. Yeah. Iguanas are cool. Yeah . Could do a puma. No. Too big. Hmmm. Mammals suck. Wait..zombie lizard squirrels! Yeah. Oh man, this so TOTALLY rocks!’
April 25th, 2013 at 3:21 pm
*looks at image* Those are my co-workers!
*reads FöM’s post* Those are my co-workers…
April 25th, 2013 at 3:25 pm
And in an astounding example of Darwinian convergence, all the creatures of Sarnath, be they mammal, reptile or twisted balloon, had evolved identical sets of cartoon googly eyes, rendering any attempt to look fearsome, or even remotely “doomful,” entirely ridiculous.
April 25th, 2013 at 3:51 pm
“These creatures, these foul abominations whose very existence mocked any notion of a great and merciful creator; as they tittered in a mad riotous baccnalian frenzy, I felt the compulsion swelling until it was unbearable.’ Damn you’ I whimpered piteously as my will surrendered. “FRAU BLÃœCHER!” I howled into the uncaring abyss.”Frau…Blücher.”
April 25th, 2013 at 4:48 pm
There must be a word for it, episode 47:
What do you call it when the artist draws a lovely frame for the image, and then draws some elements coming out of the frame?
Whaver that’s called, they’re doing it here.
April 25th, 2013 at 5:19 pm
My favourite is the far-left Knot-Squid. Unless that’s not a squid.
April 25th, 2013 at 6:15 pm
*whinny*
April 25th, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Can’t get David Attenborough doing insane but serious commentary on this scene out of my head.
April 25th, 2013 at 6:43 pm
@THX that one made me laugh out loud! Thank you for making my day sir.
April 25th, 2013 at 7:11 pm
Phil @ 12, here’s your answer:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FrameBreak
April 25th, 2013 at 7:41 pm
B Chiclitz@10: Yeah, they all look too cheerful to really get the DOOOOM across. (Iguana Thingy is verging perilously close to “d’awww…”)
April 25th, 2013 at 8:23 pm
The meerkats from the Lion King appear to have rabies. Cthulhu Matata, mofo.
April 25th, 2013 at 9:44 pm
@13.Adam Roberts:
That is none other than the “wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man!”
(www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GznhT__PXs)
April 26th, 2013 at 1:50 am
I love how extra effort has gone to give the flying (jumping?) inhabitants of Ib a reflection in the water… even though given the perspective of the reflection, it means they’re a quarter-mile away and several hundred feet tall.
April 26th, 2013 at 2:29 am
That cover reminds me of the old Ballantine Books edition of “Fellowship of the Ring” with the psychodelic trees and the lizardlike Gollum.
http://www.tolkienguide.com/modules/wiwimod/index.php?page=BREM+US+PB+FOTR
April 26th, 2013 at 8:23 am
@Jane: that’s what I thought too, that and a little bit of Bosch.
Then I went looking and I think there was some definite art direction at Ballantine. Or maybe something in the water.
http://www.skwishmi.com/interests/baf.html
April 26th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Yeah, Ballantine could put out a stinky cover now and then. But in their case, it was because they were willing to take risks, artistically, while other publishers generally stuck to traditional pulp imagery. And Ballantine didn’t just take risks with their Adult Fantasy line, but with their SF releases, too, by featuring artists like Richard Powers, Robert Foster, Stephen Miller, Jacques Wyrs, Phil Kirkland, and Mati Klarwein. Sadly, when the sale of Ballantine to Random House was completed in 1974, and Ian and Betty Ballantine finally left the company they founded, the art department regressed, and pulp imagery became the rule – though it was mostly rendered by sophisticated illustrators. (The change was marked by the appearance on covers of an SF colophon, made up of concentric circles.)
April 26th, 2013 at 6:02 pm
Hmm. I just read an article about The Doom that Came to Sarnath, and the details pretty much match what the Ballantine illustration depicts – including creatures with bulging eyes who descended from the Moon. Plus, Lovecraft wrote it in a fairy tale style. So maybe it’s not such a bad cover after all.
April 26th, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Does anyone else see the twisty creature on the left as a large, sentient neuron being?
April 26th, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Like the notion of “adult fantasy” wasn’t itself a risk? Maybe not so much, then, with folks who had recently discovered and read Tolkien wanting more like that. (These days I see Tolkien’s books relegated to the children’s shelves.) Mostly I think these covers work, they just have a different style. This cover, well, having read Lovecraft I just think it looks too anthropomorphic. But then there are the John Holmes heads-with-holes covers that I remember creeping me out as a kid in the bookstore.
I’ve picked on a couple of the more far-out Powers covers. And there’s a Wyrs cover that is in our good host’s slush pile, mostly because at 40 years distance it just looks so dark.
April 26th, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Fred at #15: Imagine the following commentary spoken by David Attenborough…
“Here, at Castle Sarnath, we can observe the abominable spawn of Yog-Sothoth in their unnatural environment. And if we’re really quiet, we’ll be able to actually hear their unutterable, indescribable mating calls, and watch their terrible, unholy dance…”
April 27th, 2013 at 11:36 am
Sarah J is correct: the pink thing on the left its one of those fan-driven tube creatures that keep standing and collapsing in front of used car lots.
At least I think that’s what she meant.
April 27th, 2013 at 8:33 pm
Yes, that was what I meant, a fan driven tube creature (which was not in existence when this cover was made. Prophetic Cover!) This is a book I own and read, even as its crumbly paper loses its acidic battle with time. I believe there is only one other Lovecraft cover in this archive (a knuckly clarinet player who looks to be a Giger knockoff, not poorly done) but this was is just NOT SCARY. I could bring this out to the curly slide in the park and ask random kids for five hours “Is This Scary?” and not get one Yes
April 27th, 2013 at 11:31 pm
Perhaps we need an illogical or improbable flight tag. From wingless zombie lizard squirrels to donkeys to men of stone,(not to forget tiny winged rocket riding T-Rex) Quite a few things end up in the air/aether that have no business being there.
April 28th, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Unspeakable weaving drove textile workers mad! It was…
THE LOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
Rushed coding produced a buggy sequel that defied description! The mockery of a smash-hit computer game that was…
THE DOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
April 30th, 2013 at 7:24 pm
The iguana on the right looks a little smug. And by the looks of the other monsters, it looks like they are not happy about it.
I wonder what the reason for his smugness is…Maybe because he’s the only one sporting a goatee?
April 30th, 2013 at 7:36 pm
@A-S: because he’s getting married! He’s taking the roadside attraction at far left as his bride in unholy matrimony. For Bokrug is….
THE GROOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
April 30th, 2013 at 8:34 pm
And a huge 90,000 sq. ft. castle was built with some of the profits, and the lake was dredged for water sports, and many flying immigrants welcomed, bug-eyes and all, for there were jobs a-plenty to be had. There was merriment at the wedding feast and wine flowed in the fountains. All this joy was a result of the economic policies of the wise leader Bokrug, which led to (you see it, I know) . . .
THE BOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
April 30th, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Of course, with all that development going on, the 90,000 sq. ft. castle soon caught the eye of Hilton Worldwide. Their new slogan?
THE ROOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
April 30th, 2013 at 11:05 pm
Among those watersports was a superb water slide for all monsters to enjoy.
THE FLOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
April 30th, 2013 at 11:56 pm
And when the real estate bubble burst betraying the inherent weakness of an economy based on consumer spending the big corporations closed down operations, retreating to R’lyeh with their profits. The immigrants found themselves out of work,the water park crumbled into decay and the Hilton became a transient hostell
THE GLOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 1st, 2013 at 12:21 am
And a great silence descended upon the the land.
THE SHTOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
May 1st, 2013 at 12:31 am
And finally…soon groups of unemployed teenage zombie lizard squirrels, seeing little hope for a brighter future, took to souping up their motorbikes and racing them pell-mell about the lake;terrorizing innocent byakhee and the thousand young of Shub Niggurath, Dark Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young..
THE VROOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
Next please.
May 1st, 2013 at 1:44 am
Zombie squirrels, living in filth and ignorance, are soon to face the horror of a life of reason and enlightenment, shrieking in agony as they are punished with their first tortuous lesson by the dark master of Scottish empiricist philosophy, recoiling from …
THE HUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 1st, 2013 at 1:57 am
Hats off to Roy Harper, and Bibliomanceer as well. That is brilliant. I humbly bow low and concede the field.
May 1st, 2013 at 10:53 am
When did this become the single greatest comment thread on GSS! 😀
I want to add to it, but I only feel I would let everyone down.
May 1st, 2013 at 11:47 am
Cover-artists use psilocybin to approximate Lovecraft: the ‘shroom that came…
May 2nd, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Naked zombie squirrels chittered in dismay as their eldritch overlords announced that they had designed a Sarnathian national dress (in patriotic rugose white and blue), and that the squirrels would have to wear it from now on. It was
THE COSTUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
May 2nd, 2013 at 9:53 pm
The same-sex oriented (not that there’s anything wrong with that) creatures of Ib were aroused and bug-eyed when they first saw Bokrug the Great Water Lizard. He was …
THE VA-VA-VOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
May 2nd, 2013 at 11:02 pm
Sadly for the enamored naked zombie squirrels, Bokrug would remain ever faithful to his one true love, Pink Inflatable Tube Thing. They lived together in large-eyed conjugal bliss, eagerly awaited the arrival of their first-born child from…
THE WOMB THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
May 3rd, 2013 at 5:32 am
“Enough, hold, enough!!” cried the desperate Bokrug, for finally even his massive brain had been overwhelmed by the sheer narrative chaos his life had become. No longer could he keep track of the Booms, the Flumes, the ‘Shrooms, the Humes. Splintering, dizzying story lines danced before his bug-eyes, he felt nausea creep through his gills, and he staggered, but only momentarily, for he was formidable, and, gathering his last few quanta of reptile strength, he roared defiance, and with one flick of his scaly arm he swept away the entire twisted edifice with
THE BROOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
May 3rd, 2013 at 7:37 am
Once more unto the breach..
But even this could not bring him peace and tranquility, for the results of marital bliss were an increasing horde of hybrid children, both horrific and delightful. The ideas of privacy and intimacy became as alien as his offspring. He and his bride began to dream of and long for days forever past; Saturday mornings watchimg cartoons and feasting on sugary sweet breakfast cereals;cereal poured from a bright yellow box graced by a maniacal clown. But the cereal was no more, like their sex life. Hope dwindled until the day they saw an interview with Quentin Tarantino. Could such a thing be? They dared not hope as they searched online; but yes! It was true! A website specializing in discontinued food line! Giving praise to The Great Old Ones and their hoary mercy they used their First Bank of Unknown Kadath visa card to place a rush order. 48 hours later there was bliss and a great sugar high as all feasted on..
THE KABOOM! THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 3rd, 2013 at 8:44 am
It was at this time that Bokrug received some sad news by post. His lizard father had been killed by the zombie squirrels in World War (4^8). In the letter, thankfully, it also contained the family dragon scales…
THE HEIRLOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 3rd, 2013 at 12:15 pm
Bokrug the Great Water Lizard suffered a horrible case of flatulence. This made him very sad, so he decided to be useful. He offered an anal inflation service to the distributors of Pink Squidâ„¢ advertising balloons. Unfortunately, the corrosive nature of his flatulence made all the balloons explode, resulting in …
THE FUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH
May 5th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
Bokrug heaved an enormous sigh. So many endeavours, so few results! It was time for him to shave his goatee, pencil in his eyebrows and get a new line of work. He dressed himself in his finest yellow polo shirt and inquire about jobs in the eye of the zodiac…
THE DUMAREST THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 5th, 2013 at 4:25 pm
Nyarlothothep have mercy on my twisted black soul! My life was so simple..until I found myself here!
May 5th, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Then the skies were torn asunder above that unhallowed land! Worlds clashed! For this was the day of…
THE BARSOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
May 6th, 2013 at 12:46 am
Because there are never enough Perry Rhodan adventures …
THE DUMMKOPF THAT CAME TO SARNATH
May 6th, 2013 at 1:28 am
“I must kill the all,” the overwhelmed and now thoroughly confused Bokrug muttered from his hiding space beneath the castle. “Never will I know peace. But what, oh what, to do with all those corpses?”
Once more the internet and expedited shipping came to his rescue. 2 days later there was a fearful Lovecraftian slaughter and Bokrug made good use of his newest purchase..
THE TOMB THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 6th, 2013 at 2:45 am
Now, Bokrug had time to work on his memoirs. Day and night the water lizard’s claw flew over the parchment. Finally, “Sarnath Revisited– the Blasphemous and Unnatural Memories of Bokrug Lizard” was complete. As he placed the book on the shelf next to the “Necronomicon”, Bokrug heaved a deep sigh of satisfaction. “It will probably sell quite well,” he told himself.
It was…
THE VOLUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 6th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
A very good evening, or a very early morning, to all of you in the half-forgotten land of Mnar. I’m Bokrug the Beleagured, your host. Tonight, while the moon is gibbous, I’ve summoned eldritch deities out of space and time to bring us some Monk, Mingus and Coltrane for your listening pleasure. First, though, abominable flautists whose wailing ululations drive the sane to madness and beyond will favour us with that classic of classics, ‘Stardust’. Sit back and watch the winding river Ai as we present…
THE MOOD THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 7th, 2013 at 6:23 pm
“So they like said ‘Bra, there is like no way, ya know, that you can surf that lake.’ And I said, yo a wave is a wave man. Scope the glassy, man, it’s buildin to break. Use your melon for more than sportin that sad do of yours. Got my board waxed, rockin the jams and…gaaaa!”
Bokrug silenced him with a well placed chomp to his tanned blonde head, assuring that he would be the first and also last..
DUDE THAT CAME TO SARNATH!!
May 7th, 2013 at 7:05 pm
So, we’ve altered syllabification, we’ve altered the actual rhyming sound, and still this title keeps producing! Such fertility, such power. Bokrug really is unkillable, and all those who have entered into his misbegotten realm have been tainted by its dark energy, never to see things aright again, always a little off, a bit twisted, they are
THE SKEWED THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
May 7th, 2013 at 8:15 pm
Let’s place the credit(blame) upon the one who started all of this.
A.R. Yngwe, I’m looking at you..
May 7th, 2013 at 8:55 pm
Right, you’re all going to kill me now, but…
Just to the right of the castle. Doesn’t that look like a bird? A big black beaky bird, that wraps around the spine, and whose talons are on the front cover? Could he have on his wings…
THE PLUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH?
May 7th, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Bokrug was wanted as an exhibit in Foreverness, the museum of Tschai life, by …
THE PNUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
May 8th, 2013 at 1:58 pm
Treebeard the Ent, on one of the neighbouring Ballantine covers, woke up, late as usual, and decided to investigate what all the hubbub was about. His was
THE BU-RA-RUM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
June 19th, 2013 at 3:14 pm
54, @AR: Thanks to the wonders of pareidolia, we see a rock on the surface of Mars that looks like Bokrug himself! Could this be…
THE SARNATH THAT CAME TO BARSOOM???
October 19th, 2013 at 11:20 am
Getting a bit dusty in here. No one’s commented for months!
Time for
THE ROOMBA THAT CAME TO SARNATH
October 19th, 2013 at 7:17 pm
@Jaouad—and indeed the loathsome Bokrug did enjoy the Roomba, and danced it whenever he had the chance, for he loved Latin music. How, on Sarnath, you ask, could Bokrug acquire such music? Simple: he subscribed to
THE iTUNES THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
January 3rd, 2014 at 12:10 am
And Bokrug, feeling even more Beleagured than usual, decided to take up a meditation class to forget the nightmare of the last few years, thus
THE OM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
January 8th, 2014 at 2:20 am
Let’s keep it going into the new year!
Bokrug realized that the antidote to the crazy fantasy story that his life had become was a little hard science. So he calculated the value of electric charge generated by scales slithering over distorted rocks. It was…
THE COULOMB THAT CAME TO SARNATH
January 8th, 2014 at 2:48 pm
And after his encounter with electrical charges, Bokrug’s meditation chant morphed into
THE OHM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
January 31st, 2014 at 4:19 am
Inspired by his experience with science, Bokrug realized that with proper study, he could create music rather than just listening to it. Of course, he needed a good woodwind instrument to play the music, and so he sought out…
THE BASSOON THAT CAME TO SARNATH
January 31st, 2014 at 7:22 pm
And indeed the bassoon lessons went well, so well that soon the detestable Bokrug felt a need to tackle more complex musical scores, scores requiring more than a solo bassoon, so he place an advert in the Galactic Gazette and, after a series of grueling auditions, hired an accompanist, a very talented simian keyboard player, who was happy to relocate, and was thereafter known as . . .
THE BABOON THAT CAME TO SARNATH
January 31st, 2014 at 9:40 pm
The baboon had a very strange contract – it wished to be payed only in plums. Bokrug thought that he had hit upon a real deal, as plums are cheap. Unfortunately they are not native to the region, and so they had to be imported over a huge distance and at great expense. Even worse, when it arrived the entire shipment was found to have dried out, and so it became known as
THE PRUNE THAT CAME TO SARNATH
February 1st, 2014 at 9:55 am
Therefore Bokrug decided to follow his interest in biology, and became a successful scientist fertilising animal eggs in the laboratory. He liked to bring his work home with him.
THE ZOON THAT CAME TO SARNATH
February 1st, 2014 at 5:27 pm
ECCLES: What’s that yurr readin’ Bottle?
BLUEBOTTLE: Dis is de book in wot is writted of the names of all the dedded, wot is writted in here.
ECCLES: OoooOOOOooh! Dat must be very heavy.
BLUEBOTTLE: It is, my good man, and I have need of assistencing in turning de leaves of dis -here book.
(GRAMS: clunking winches and steam-driven machinery, then a crash of a piano)
ECCLES: Sorry! ‘Ere, Bottle, dat’s your name on this next page.
BLUEBOTTLE: You rotted swine! You have dedded me! I do not like dis game!
From THE GOON THAT CAME TO SARNATH
February 1st, 2014 at 10:41 pm
Bokrug’s bassoon proficiency soon came to the attention of a major record company, which resulted in an endorsement deal with Microsoft. All of his music would be distributed exclusively on
THE ZUNE THAT CAME TO SARNATH
February 27th, 2014 at 12:37 am
*crunch munch crunch* ‘So, there we are. There are seven naïve teenagers that are tromping their way down the cave towards your collective lairs. Darling, what are you going to do?’
‘Mm, no point in hurrying. I think I’ll cast a spell of vague foreboding doom over them all. Hand me an Irn-Bru, will you, love?’
‘Right, there you are. Roll…’
‘Six per cent! Success and then some!’
‘All right, then. Make a Luck roll. The chap in the lead makes an ineffective joke and their collective party mood sinks, but no loss of Sanity. Yet.’ *munch munch* Verdefuzz, what’s your play, then?’
‘Right, I’ll nip round the back and try to goon the one bringing up the rear. My idea is, my idea is I’ll impersonate him, and then at the critical moment I’ll reveal, woo! It’s not your friend, it’s an eldritch abomination, and they’ll go mad from the revelation.’
‘Is that your plan?’ *crunchity munch*
‘Oh, it’s a gamble, but I can’t help it.’
THE DOOM THAT GAMED IN SARNATH!
February 27th, 2014 at 9:37 am
In the darkest depths of night, the zombie squirrels rose once more from watery tombs, chittering madly of revenge on Bokrug. Unfortunately, given the recent events happening in the city, a few dead treerats stalking the streets was
A DOOM TOO TAME FOR SARNATH
February 27th, 2014 at 3:51 pm
And yea verily the hypertext generated by the many minions of Bokrug the Detestable soon took on the density of an epic novel, a deep literary artifact that exceeded the powers of most to grasp its intricacies, the depths of its symbolic syntax, profound interrogations of language and power. How were the fairly uneducated creatures of Sarnath going to comprehend their own narrative? They could not read it unassisted; they needed help, so they called Yale University to seek an emeritus professor to come and hold seminars on their Holy Text. Thus arrived . . .
THE HAROLD BLOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
June 14th, 2014 at 8:32 pm
And one day Bokrug looked out his window to see the roses blooming, the wasps building their nests (right on his windowsil, of course), the fruit trees beginning to ripen, and the flapping attention socks going through their complicated mating dances. It was
THE JUNE THAT CAME TO SARNATH
June 24th, 2014 at 3:30 pm
And it came to pass that all of the joyous spring blossoming and mating and honeysuckle sweet googly-eyed flora and fauna generally inspired Bokrug to do something nice for his minions, so he decided to hold a joyous Renaissance Faire, and to create the proper mood, he hired an intergalactically famous party decorator who brought
THE FESTOONS THAT CAME TO SARNATH
June 25th, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Now that June had finally arrived, Bokrug bethought himself that it was time once more to sprawl squamously before his televisor and watch Wimbledon. Dredging up the zombie-lizard-squirrel-proof Tupperware bowl of strawberries and cream that he had left to chill in the lake, with a triumphant flourish he brandished the utensil that had been delivered by Amazon only that day –
THE SPOON THAT CAME TO SARNATH
June 26th, 2014 at 3:23 pm
With reference to RachelJ’s comment way back when – is there any chance we can get a new tag – horrible dancing?
December 3rd, 2014 at 9:01 pm
Verily have we paid a dear price for our mockery of The Great Old Ones. The ill fated denizens of Sarnath grin phantom grins of delight to see now how the Doom has Come to GSS. In R’lyeh beneath the sea the fables are told of a proud race of snarksters struck down and humbled by the dark mages of the dreaded ‘internet’.
March 27th, 2015 at 12:04 am
‘Mr. Bokrug, can you establish your whereabouts from the Third of December onward?’
‘M’nah bruug fwa gg’r retembaa!’
‘My client insists he and his wife were handing out gifts to orphans at the time.’
‘Mr. Bokrug, it is a matter of fact that a copy of “Cooking Up Dynamic Tables” was found in your kitchen, at about the same time that the Good Show Sir web site disappeared.’
‘Kh’wibha! Florp b’gha ooooo-pookah t’yerbm!’
‘My client insists it was the cleaning lady’s.’
THE DOOM THAT WAS BLAMED IN SARNATH!
May 14th, 2015 at 1:26 pm
After having his private life and especially his unusual appetites splashed all over the pages of the tabloids during the trial, Bokrug’s PR agent convinced him that he needed an image make-over. The obvious solution: reality TV! But what format? “Apprentice To The Great Old Ones” was rejected as too dated, the zombie squirrels were assumed to be a lock for “Survivor: Sarnath” and he simply had too many limbs to thrive in a dancing competition. “Ah hah!” said his agent. “You’ve always loved fashion, haven’t you? I have just the thing.” She began making phone calls in German. Before long a fleet of limo SUVs pulled up and disgorged an international-supermodel-turned-reality-tv-executive-producer and her vast entourage.
THE KLUM THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
May 15th, 2015 at 11:34 pm
Bokrug now tried to return his attention to the looming problem before him, he knew Sarnath’s doom was coming, but he did not yet know the form it would take. One morning he awoke to find the skies a sickening color, and the all the zombie-squirrels were moaning “the doooom, the doooom!” Bokrug approached the window with trepidation and steeled himself to look without and saw…Miles upon miles of flailing noodle-men surrounding his keep. “Oh,” said Bokrug, “this is our doom?”
THE DOOM THAT WAS LAME ON SARNATH
May 17th, 2015 at 8:05 am
The chameleon had already caused the death of a dozen insects. The flying lizardy people knew the carnage had to be stopped by any means.
THE DOOM THEY CAME TO SHART AT
May 22nd, 2015 at 9:33 pm
The Eldritch Abomination artist was on holiday, and so they got a grade six student in as a substitute artist. Why is beyond me.
May 22nd, 2015 at 10:39 pm
@Anna: Because it was…
MRS. WATKINS’ SCHOOL ROOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
August 27th, 2015 at 3:24 am
@Dead Stuff With Big Teeth: You know, I don’t think Sarnath is a safe place for elementary school kids. That sounds like one hell of an irresponsible field trip.
@Tag Wizard: This is missing a “wraparound cover” tag.
September 30th, 2015 at 9:50 pm
@AnnaT: It was…
THE DOOM THAT WAS WAIVED IN SARNATH!
(and I think that’s the furthest I’ve had to reach with my paronomasia so far…)
December 14th, 2015 at 11:47 pm
I seem to recall there were a lot more of these. They’ve been eaten.
THE DOOM THAT CAME TO THE DOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH
May 17th, 2016 at 11:34 am
They have been saved! *coughs* 5 months later…. I just needed to tick an option box I had completely forgotten about!
I’m still not sure what’s going on here… I’m just happy to have been involved!
THE COMMENTS THAT CAME BACK TO SARNATH!
May 17th, 2016 at 1:43 pm
This new learning fascinates me, @admin. Now explain to me again how tag clouds may be used to prevent earthquakes.
May 17th, 2016 at 3:46 pm
So the evil arch criminal Brainiac, basking in the glow of his successful effort to shrink the Kryptonian city of Kandor and put it in a bottle, decided to direct his reducing ray at an Earthly target. Setting his sights on North Central Africa, he closed his eyes and pushed the button. Success! Cackling with evil glee, he grabbed his newest trophy, hopped into his spaceship and set off for the planet ruled by his old friend Bokrug the Repellent. Thus is was that there came to pass—
THE KHARTOUM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
February 27th, 2017 at 5:56 pm
So Bokrug cast his glance upward to the stars…to witness a monotreme, falling through the womb of space. In vain it gasped, in vain it grasped at the cold hard vacuum. Within two minutes it was dead. There was nothing for the corpse to do but spin further and further into the planet’s gravity well, eventually to burn up on atmospheric re-entry. Bokrug smirked at…
THE DOOM THAT DIDN’T MAKE IT TO SARNATH!
February 28th, 2017 at 7:24 am
golf clap
February 28th, 2017 at 2:06 pm
Finally having had enough of the stupid rhyming game, Bokrug the Repellent thought “It’s time I took care of myself. All of these Dooms, Bazooms, Khartoums, Brooms, Grooms and Baboons are getting me down. Why can’t I have what I want for a change?” And so it came to pass that later that day by express mail there arrived
THE MONOTREME THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
March 1st, 2017 at 9:56 am
Almost four years since I started it, and this pun run is still going…
Good God, what have I brought upon the world??
March 1st, 2017 at 10:33 am
Bokrug’s break with tradition was not to last.
“Closer!” he ordered the portrait photographer. “Make sure you capture my duckbilled darling’s exquisite little eyes, and the unique beauty of her nostrils!”
The photographer, loath to get any nearer to the detestable waterlizard and his monotremous mail-order bride than he had to, made use of-
THE ZOOM THAT CAME TO SARNATH!
March 1st, 2017 at 10:36 am
@A.R.Yngve #100. Isn’t it obvious?
THE DOOMSDAY THAT CAME FROM SARNATH!
March 1st, 2017 at 1:47 pm
@A.R.Yngve—you have bestowed upon us the riff that keeps on giving. Good Show, Sir!
March 1st, 2017 at 2:21 pm
@B.Chiclitz (79): I’ve now read ‘The Flight to Lucifer’ (there was a bet. I lost). Good Show Sir.
@Ar. Yngwe (100): What hast thou wrought? THE MEME THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
March 2nd, 2017 at 3:26 am
Eventually, books written about Sarnath were published only by BAEN!. The covers became shiny. The fonts became orange and badly kerned. Explosions and scantily-clad women covered the land. It was…
THE KABOOM AND BAZOOMS THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
March 2nd, 2017 at 4:15 am
Once Bokrug found out about Baen’s complete takeover of books about Sarnath, he got angry. The more he thought about the shiny covers with awful fonts and pictures of explosions and scantily-clad women (though, he did reason, exploding scantily-clad women would be cool), the more angry he became. He got so upset that he started foaming at the mouth. It was…
THE SPUME THAT CAME TO SARNATH.
March 2nd, 2017 at 11:32 pm
Bokrug’s foaming at the mouth (along with the explosions and possibly the ugly fonts) attracted the attention of the humanoid rhinoceros mercenaries from Doctor Who. They were…
THE JUDOON WHO CAME TO SARNATH.
May 30th, 2017 at 1:30 pm
Is there anyone else who thinks that the green fuzzy squirrels look vaguely like Jared Kushner? More to the point, I’m pretty sure he dances horribly before Donald Trump when the moon is gibbous.
May 31st, 2017 at 3:47 am
Ha! Here is ANOTHER cover by the same artist! Methinks we could come up with a whole gallery of this dubious stuff! Same oval, same bright colors. I hope the image is right http://68.media.tumblr.com/42b814e687eb9d6d7e8c5810c817c465/tumblr_nzu94i9A4s1sndzdgo1_1280.jpg
May 31st, 2017 at 4:12 am
Oh! Happiness is mine! Here is yet another cover by the same artisan. http://realmsofnight.com/2017/04/09/h-p-lovecraft/#jp-carousel-2064
Yet another!
https://i2.wp.com/realmsofnight.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/LovecraftHP_CarterLin_ALookBehindTheCthulhuMythos_full.jpg?fit=640%2C489
Still more for you gluttons of pain!
https://i0.wp.com/realmsofnight.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/LovecraftHP_TheSurvivorAndOthers_full.jpg?fit=640%2C503
I retire gibbering.
May 31st, 2017 at 5:21 am
@Drasaid—quite helpful. I now understand that not only is every Lovecraft story the same story, every Lovecraft cover is the same cover.
Nice work if you can get it.
May 31st, 2017 at 10:19 am
The Covfefe that Came to Sarnath, anyone?
May 31st, 2017 at 1:39 pm
@THX1138—I’m betting the meds wore off and he fell asleep while trying to type the word “coverage.” It’s not as funny as what’s flying around the web, but it’s pathetic enough to be true.
May 31st, 2017 at 1:45 pm
@BC: How did he type “Send”, though?!
May 31st, 2017 at 1:56 pm
@THX: he has people to do that for him. Sean Spicer probably oozed out a pseudopod and hit the button.
June 1st, 2017 at 10:57 pm
@THX: hit the “send” button with his nose as he fell asleep, or as he dropped the phone, or with one of his tiny, tiny fingers.
When the pharmaceutical-grade amphetamines wear off, it all goes to covfefe.
June 2nd, 2017 at 1:35 pm
From the unholy depths of beyond came the Lurking Thing that defied description… it was
THE COVFEFE THAT CAME TO SARNATH
June 3rd, 2017 at 8:15 am
Huh. “Covfefe” does look a bit Lovecraftean. Explains a lot.