@Tat Wood: I’m guessing it’s a shared experience for most of us in this forum that at some point we’ve read the unabridged ‘War of the Worlds’ and needed to take a break at the same juncture 🙂
See also the titles
TOM SWIFT AND HIS ELECTRIC JEW DETECTOR
TOM SWIFT, VANGUARD OF THE MASTER RACE
TOM SWIFT AND THE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN THE SCOUTING TENT
Sorry. There’s just something about Tom Swift that deeply disgusts me.
In Tom’s shoes, I think I would be just a trifle more impressed/startled/concerned about all those neatly lined up skeletons, even leaving aside anything I could see in that scope.
@A.R.Yngve: Agreed, but the original Tom Swift books (by Victor Appleton rather than Victor Appleton II) even worse in some respects (horrifying but true). The very first book “Tom Swift and his Motor-cycle” is available on http://www.gutenberg.org, and it’s a badly written action packed ride just bursting with misogyny and racism (chapter 8 is a doozy, you have been warned).
Oh, fun fact: “Victor Appleton” was not a person, but a collective pseudonym used by a number of ghost-writers who then used the “Victor Appleton II” pseudonym for the later books (presumably to suggest these were new books by a younger more modern author).
@DaveM: Yup, the Tom Swift books (as well as the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Bobbsey Twins, and many others) were products of the Stratemeyer Syndicate, the first book packager which exclusively published books for younger readers.
Basically, early books (“The Rover Boys” series, etc.) were written by Edward Stratemeyer, but he soon turned to ghost-writers, supplying them a standard framework to which additional volumes of a series had to adhere.
Re: the other part of your disdain for Tom Swift books – I thought this site was for critique of book COVERS, not the contents.
@Jon K: Thank you for that information, I had no idea so many of the early children’s adventure series were done like that (almost gives you a greater respect for Enid Blyton).
As to your final point I could point out I was merely replying to an earlier observation, but no.
Fair call. I’ll stick to mocking the covers.
@Dave, Jon: No, it’s my fault, really! If I hadn’t resurrected this thread, the cover would have sailed quietly by under the radar screen. I’m so sorry, won’t happen again.
“Tom switched on the amazing Retroscope, and in an instant the hostile savages were incinerated. Only piles of bleached skeletons remained.
‘Golly!’ cried Tom. ‘This invention can cleanse the world of all the inferior races in a jiffy! I can’t wait to use it again!’ “
@A. R. Yngve (#33): Are you even connected with reality anymore over there in Sweden, or have you gone the route of Thorarinn Gunnarsson and created a completely fabricated world for yourself?
@GSS Admin: I hereby request that Dead Stuff With Big Teeth be banned from posting to this site, too. This request is based on his inherent ability to confine his comments to the book covers, his incessant pestering of the site administrators, and the lack of the ha-ha in his long-winded posts. 🙂
@DSWBT (#36): In your defense, at least you aren’t stooping to farcical hyperbole like A. R. Yngve has done in a couple of posts on this particular item.
Thanks, though, for calling me on my public outrage. I have transgressed, I see.
@admin: if you short across the terminals of your electronic retroscope, the bit at the end gets rather hot, and you can just put the kettle on there without having to leave the comfort of your own archaeological expedition.
February 16th, 2016 at 1:33 pm
Unfortunate placement of the author’s name, it looks like he’s wearing a kilt.
…
Or, fortunate placement of the name, if that’s your thing…
February 16th, 2016 at 1:41 pm
By pure coincidence, the only funny person on the Internet had something worthwhile to say about adventuring through time today.
Fyook. 😀
February 16th, 2016 at 2:05 pm
If that doesn’t get stones out of horses’ hooves, I don’t know what will.
February 16th, 2016 at 3:03 pm
retroscope: (noun) a device for looking at people’s butts
February 16th, 2016 at 3:50 pm
“Are those skeletons?” asked Tom, sepulchrally.
February 16th, 2016 at 4:25 pm
The ad said I’d be able to see nekkid girls, but it just looks like a chicken feather in extreme close-up.
February 16th, 2016 at 5:35 pm
@Tom: ‘I’m afraid that’s a pineapple slice the fellow is holding aloft,’ said Tom dolefully.
February 16th, 2016 at 6:05 pm
Is anyone else getting flashbacks of the opening of “The Last Crusade”?
Also, is that a T. rex poking its snout in on the left? Or possibly a dragon?
Also, has anyone else noticed the Aztec man carved on the wall with flames shooting out of his head?
February 16th, 2016 at 7:01 pm
“This is an old tomb” said Tom cryptically.
February 16th, 2016 at 7:27 pm
Tom Swift and His Hipster Neckerchief.
February 16th, 2016 at 9:53 pm
“Golly!” said Tom, “I can see a copy of our Handbook in here.”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scouting_for_Boys
February 16th, 2016 at 10:37 pm
@Perry: ‘Tom said voluminously’, I think you mean. 😉
February 16th, 2016 at 10:55 pm
More of Erich von Daniken’s research assistants. I think the Toltec High Priest is demonstrating the sum of the hypotenuse.
@Anna – yes, River Phoenix in Last Crusade came to mind at once.
February 16th, 2016 at 11:39 pm
Q: Can you see his woggle?
A: No, but it’s a neat trick if he can do it.
February 16th, 2016 at 11:49 pm
“Our device is held up on a steel scaffolding!” Tom beamed.
February 16th, 2016 at 11:57 pm
“We don’t have any weapons!” said Tom disarmingly.
February 17th, 2016 at 12:02 am
“The undead are all around us,” said Tom gravely.
February 17th, 2016 at 12:13 am
I think they’ve found where Snow White hid the bodies!
February 17th, 2016 at 12:38 am
“They’ll cut us to ribbons!” said Tom mincingly.
February 17th, 2016 at 1:25 am
“I heard these retroscopes shipped with defective parts!” Tom recalled.
February 17th, 2016 at 2:58 am
Someone has to do it…
“I’m excited!” Tom ejaculated.
February 17th, 2016 at 5:54 am
@Tat Wood: I’m guessing it’s a shared experience for most of us in this forum that at some point we’ve read the unabridged ‘War of the Worlds’ and needed to take a break at the same juncture 🙂
February 17th, 2016 at 10:26 am
See also the titles
TOM SWIFT AND HIS ELECTRIC JEW DETECTOR
TOM SWIFT, VANGUARD OF THE MASTER RACE
TOM SWIFT AND THE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN THE SCOUTING TENT
Sorry. There’s just something about Tom Swift that deeply disgusts me.
February 25th, 2016 at 2:46 am
In Tom’s shoes, I think I would be just a trifle more impressed/startled/concerned about all those neatly lined up skeletons, even leaving aside anything I could see in that scope.
April 10th, 2016 at 12:50 am
‘We must give this electric retroscope another amperage potential!’ Tom said revoltingly.
April 10th, 2016 at 2:44 am
@A.R.Yngve: Agreed, but the original Tom Swift books (by Victor Appleton rather than Victor Appleton II) even worse in some respects (horrifying but true). The very first book “Tom Swift and his Motor-cycle” is available on http://www.gutenberg.org, and it’s a badly written action packed ride just bursting with misogyny and racism (chapter 8 is a doozy, you have been warned).
Oh, fun fact: “Victor Appleton” was not a person, but a collective pseudonym used by a number of ghost-writers who then used the “Victor Appleton II” pseudonym for the later books (presumably to suggest these were new books by a younger more modern author).
April 10th, 2016 at 3:25 am
@DaveM: Yup, the Tom Swift books (as well as the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Bobbsey Twins, and many others) were products of the Stratemeyer Syndicate, the first book packager which exclusively published books for younger readers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stratemeyer_Syndicate
Basically, early books (“The Rover Boys” series, etc.) were written by Edward Stratemeyer, but he soon turned to ghost-writers, supplying them a standard framework to which additional volumes of a series had to adhere.
Re: the other part of your disdain for Tom Swift books – I thought this site was for critique of book COVERS, not the contents.
April 10th, 2016 at 6:02 am
@Jon K: Thank you for that information, I had no idea so many of the early children’s adventure series were done like that (almost gives you a greater respect for Enid Blyton).
As to your final point I could point out I was merely replying to an earlier observation, but no.
Fair call. I’ll stick to mocking the covers.
April 10th, 2016 at 10:32 am
@DaveM (#28): I apologize for singling out your comment and for not including others’ in my earlier post #27.
April 10th, 2016 at 12:01 pm
@Dave, Jon: No, it’s my fault, really! If I hadn’t resurrected this thread, the cover would have sailed quietly by under the radar screen. I’m so sorry, won’t happen again.
April 12th, 2016 at 4:38 am
“Dudes, this is groovy,” said Tom incisively.
April 12th, 2016 at 4:39 am
“On the other hand, I sort of wish I’d never left that Australian zoo,” said Tom ruefully.
April 14th, 2016 at 8:02 am
“Tom switched on the amazing Retroscope, and in an instant the hostile savages were incinerated. Only piles of bleached skeletons remained.
‘Golly!’ cried Tom. ‘This invention can cleanse the world of all the inferior races in a jiffy! I can’t wait to use it again!’ “
April 14th, 2016 at 4:36 pm
@A. R. Yngve (#33): Are you even connected with reality anymore over there in Sweden, or have you gone the route of Thorarinn Gunnarsson and created a completely fabricated world for yourself?
April 14th, 2016 at 4:57 pm
@GSS Admin: I hereby request that Dead Stuff With Big Teeth be banned from posting to this site, too. This request is based on his inherent ability to confine his comments to the book covers, his incessant pestering of the site administrators, and the lack of the ha-ha in his long-winded posts. 🙂
April 14th, 2016 at 5:47 pm
@DSWBT (#36): In your defense, at least you aren’t stooping to farcical hyperbole like A. R. Yngve has done in a couple of posts on this particular item.
Thanks, though, for calling me on my public outrage. I have transgressed, I see.
April 15th, 2016 at 9:00 am
@GSS Admin: I’ll put on the kettle for a nice cup of tea eh.. 🙂
April 15th, 2016 at 7:49 pm
@admin: if you short across the terminals of your electronic retroscope, the bit at the end gets rather hot, and you can just put the kettle on there without having to leave the comfort of your own archaeological expedition.
April 17th, 2016 at 9:15 pm
OK, I was too mean — insinuating that Tom Swift is a Nazi. Sorry! Of course he’s not a Nazi — he just looks like one on that cover…
June 2nd, 2017 at 8:14 pm
‘It’s been a year and more, and no-one’s made a “colonoscopy” joke!’ Tom butted in.
June 2nd, 2017 at 8:36 pm
“I have the probe ready!” his assistant piped in.
June 2nd, 2017 at 8:45 pm
“This retroscope makes it impossible to tell the difference between past, present and future!” Tom said tensely.
Oh, wait, I need to respond to DSWBT’s challenge—am I up to the task?
“Is this spreading them far enough, doc?” Tom said cheekily.