One of the few problems with press secretary Sean Spicer's humiliating sidelining is that we now have to hear more from second-tier hacks like Kellyanne Conway, a liar so brazen that even the liar support network known as cable television eventually turned wary of booking her. Alas, she is back—this time to explain that we should stop listening to the sitting president's own statements because listening to his statements is a media conspiracy.

Criticism directed at President Donald Trump over his flurry of Twitter activity related to the London terrorist attack over the weekend is misguided, counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway said Monday morning, the result of media that she suggested is eagerly critical of Trump, even amid more pressing situations.

The media, Conway said, has “this obsession with covering everything he says on Twitter and very little of what he does as president.” Conway blamed that obsession for the uproar that began over the weekend when Trump hurled a political attack across the Atlantic, writing online that there had been “at least 7 dead and 48 wounded in terror attack and Mayor of London says there is ‘no reason to be alarmed!’"

You can see now why this raging idiot had been shoved into her crate for the last few months. The premise, which we cannot even call "authoritarian" or any other bad words because it is simply too stone-cold stupid to be categorized, is that when Donald Trump farts out his various daily brain spasms into the public eye, the proper thing to do is ignore them because what the sitting president himself announces in public is, according to this walking, talking warning of the perils of unchecked cocaine addiction, evidence of malevolence against him.

This is a unique theory. Normally, spokespersons for unpopular public figures are tasked with demanding the media stop covering their charge's dodgy actions and focus exclusively on their meaningless words. Indeed, we are likely to again hear any minute now that the media must also not cover his "travel ban," or his farcical demands to NATO, or his firing of an FBI director investigating his own staff, or the details of his supported healthcare plan, or of his budget, or of his hiring decisions, or of his lack of hirings, or of who he meets with, or of who he refuses to meet with, or literally anything else the idiot man-child says, does, thinks, writes, eats, or bangs his shins on.

But the official White House position is that merely paying attention to the man at all is a conspiracy against him, which makes it very damn difficult to parse out what, aside from Kellyanne Conway's own perpetually-grimacing face, our national news is supposed to now consist of.