"A [Montana] Republican congressional candidate named Greg Gianforte apparently body-slammed a reporter. Some Republicans are defending him, saying the body slam wasn't a big deal, which they might regret in three years when The Rock runs for president."
---Jimmy Fallon
"It's come out that the new Republican healthcare bill will hike premiums by 700 percent for the old and sick. It’s not a good sign that the title of the bill is: Walk It Off, Grandpa."
â Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) June 1, 2017
"On Twitter last night, [Trump] wrote: I will be announcing my decision on Paris accord Thursday at 3:00 P.M., the White House Rose Garden, make America great again. It made sense that he did it from the Rose Garden, while we still have roses and gardens."
---Jimmy Kimmel
"The president’s budget hits his own voters the hardest, taking aim at the social safety net on which many of them rely. It’s all there on Trump’s new hat: Make the Poor Live on Squirrel Meat Again."
---Stephen Colbert
"What would a Trump impeachment look like? Ironically, I imagine at least part of it would involve thousands of Muslims celebrating in New Jersey."
---John Oliver
If you’re planning to take part in one of the nationwide #MarchforTruth events tomorrow (find one near you by clicking here), wear comfortable shoes, spellcheck those signs, and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 2, 2017
Note: Well, kids, Monday is one of those wacky funfests known as "chemo day" for your underwear-behatted host. So next week will be an abbreviated one, posting-wise. We'll see you back here bright and early Wednesday morning and finish out the week from there. As always, thanks for your patience. I'll be sure to hoist my fizzy Folfox-fluorouracil, Oxaliplatin and Leucovorin cocktail high and toast all of you in my C&J-o-sphere. ---The Patient
Percent of voters who say it's likely that Trump will be able to broker a peace agreement between Israel and the Palestine, according to a new Morning Consult-Politico poll: 27%
Percent of voters in the same poll who approve of Obamacare and Trumpcare, respectively: 52%, 38%
Percent of American women of child-bearing age who have had sex with a man and also used birth control, according to the Guttmacher Institute: 99%
Average annual savings to women who use the pill and IUDs, respectively, thanks to the Affordable Care Act: $255, $248
CHEERS to waiting 'til the second shoe actually drops. In this age of misinformation---aka the Trump era---it can't be stressed enough: react not to what people say, but what they do. Sometimes the words will match the deed, as we saw yesterday when, as he promised, Lord Dampnut hoisted his middle finger at the planet---yes, the actual physical planet---and withdrew from the Paris Climate Agreement. (The backlash will be fierce, and renewable energy will continue on its merry way to world dominance, leaving Trump's devotion to fossil fuels a sad, hollow legacy of a bygone era.) But other times all the rumors and bluster simply don’t pan out. Exhibit A: the garment-renders who lamented Lawrence O'Donnell's imminent firing from MSNBC. Turns out his 10pm slot is safe after all:
So, contrary to the lamentations of the Henny Pennies, we'll still have Lawrence around to kick Trump around over things like pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement. I hope his contract comes with a fresh pair of steel-toed boots.
P.S. Regarding Trump’s pullout of the non-binding Paris Climate Agreement, he said yesterday that “I was elected by voters of Pittsburgh, not Paris.” The mayor of Pittsburgh responds:
x
As the Mayor of Pittsburgh, I can assure you that we will follow the guidelines of the Paris Agreement for our people, our economy & future. https://t.co/3znXGTcd8C
CHEERS to bullies behind bars. Remember that armed standoff at the Cliven Bundy ranch during which a bunch of "militia" teabaggers with delusions of rescuing America from the "tyranny" of basic law enforcement pointed their automatic weapons at federal officials and threatened to massacre them? For a long time it seemed like they were gonna get off scot-free. So I'm happy to finally say this: one asshole down, 18 more to go…
A judge called a New Hampshire man a “bully vigilante” and sentenced [Jerry DeLemus] Wednesday to more than seven years in prison for his role organizing armed backers of Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy after a standoff with U.S. agents in 2014.
Enjoy your time in the slammer, snowflake.
Chief U.S. District Judge Gloria Navarro in Las Vegas added time after faulting DeLemus for trying to withdraw his pleas. She said she didn’t think he accepted responsibility for his actions. “I have to say, Mr. DeLemus, that you unfortunately are blinded by the information you choose to believe,” she said.
Instead of advising Bundy to abide by court orders to pay 20 years of overdue grazing fees or let agents round up his cattle from public land, Navarro said DeLemus became “a bully vigilante, threatening peacekeepers of the community.”
Among the remaining 18 Rambo-wannabes awaiting verdicts: Bundy himself and two of his spawn. Big tough guys out in the wild, they'll dissolve into a puddle of tears when their similar sentences are rendered to the "Thwack!" of a gavel. Because that's what snowflakes do when they get the sun shone on 'em: melt.
JEERS to addictive additions. Thirty-one years ago today, The R.J. Reynolds Company (motto: "If it's something you can inhale, we'll take it to retail") proposed a major merger with Nabisco that would create a$4.9 billion conglomerate of food and tobacco products. Which explains why 30 years and nine months ago I had to resort to the nicotine patch to wean myself off a sudden addiction to Fig Newtons.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word AnswerMan. Today’s guest question asker is the one and only Governor Howard Dean:
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GOP takes the Lenin approach on CBO numbers. Deny facts if they get in the way. Is there even one honest person in this administration? https://t.co/Ut8DOGIUP9
People should go to jail for this spelling infraction.
CHEERSto draining the dictionary. Congratulations to Ananya Vinay from the foreign and exotic land of Fresno, California, who was the last contestant standing at the National Spelling Beein Washington, D.C. Her winning words---which my spellchecker flagged with the message, "You're drunk again, aren't you?"---were: "gifblaar" and "marocain.” When asked what the words meant, the judge responded: "Forty thousand bucks if you spell 'em right, kid."
CHEERSto time savers. 104 years ago today, the newly-invented washer/dryer combo went on sale for the first time. Followed the next day by the first teenagers to totally ignore it.
CHEERS to home vegetation. I don’t know how things are where you live, but this is going to be southern Maine's first weekend of 2017 that is unabashedly summerlike. But while that means our TV time will be scaled back, there' still plenty of it, starting tonight with the latest on Russiagate from Chris Hayes and Rachel's sub Ari Melber (get well soon, Rachel!), followed byHBO's Real Time, where Bill Maher talks with Sen. Ben Sasse (R-NE), Eliot Spitzer, Rebecca Traister of New York magazine, Jim VandeHei of Axios and Google's Tristan Harris.
Fair warning, Orioles: Boston is bringing a Super Soaker cannon to your little Nerf knife fight.
New home video releases include the actioner Collide (Ben Kinglsey, Nick Hoult, Felicity Jones) and the drama Before I Fall. The baseball schedule is here. (The Red Sox will "pluck the feathers of victory" from the Orioles Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!) Sunday night Megyn Kelly debuts her new show on NBC, and I believe it's being sponsored by the builders of the Hindenburg andthe Edsel, and the guy in charge of marketing for New Coke. On 60 Minutes: a report on the spate of political assassinations in Russia, and the folks who are saving gorillas from extinction. Game 2 of the NBA finals starts Sunday at 8 on ABC. And John Oliver takes another deep dive into a corrupt American institution Sunday at 11 on HBO's Last Week Tonight. Now here's your Sunday morning lineup---I actually expect that, between Russiagate and Climategate, Trump is going to take an unusually universal pounding this week:
Meet the Press: Main guests TBA, but Stephanie Cutter and Demos.org’s Heather McGee are on the roundtable.
The winner of the 2000 election is re-emerging to respond to Trump’s pullout of the Paris Climate Agreement. Gore...SMASH!!!
Face the Nation: Sens. Mark Warner (D-VA) and Susan Collins (R-ME); Secretary General of NATO Jens Stoltenberg.
This Week: AL GORE IS FAT!!! Plus Susan Rice and EPA dismantler Scott Pruitt.
CNN's State of the Union: AL GORE IS FAT!!! Plus U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Nikki Haley; Sen. Mark Warner (D-VA).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: AL GORE IS FAT!!! Plus EPA dismantler Scott Pruitt.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 2, 2007
JEERS to disturbing the peace. Ugh. President Bush is vacationing up here in July, and he's bringing his honorary frat boy playmate Vladimir Putin. By the time they leave, we'll be lucky if there's a single mailbox standing.
"Our primary season has finally come to an end... Because of you, I can say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States of America.”
Terrorist fist jab? (Hey, I’m just asking.)
“America, this is our moment! This is our time!" ---Barack Obama, June 3, 2008
My hangover on June 4th, 2008: a moment worth forgetting.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
The Washington Post, for breaking the bombshell story on Jared Kushner's pre-inauguration attempt to use Russian facilities to secretly communicate with Putin and a Russian bank
17%
567 votes
The U.S. states and cities that have vowed to honor the goals of the Paris Climate Agreement regardless of what Trump says or does
28%
930 votes
The Newseum, for accepting Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs' glasses that were broken when he was assaulted by Montana Republican Greg Gianforte
0%
15 votes
French President Emanuel Macron, for tearing into Putin's propaganda machine with the Russian dictator standing right beside him
17%
543 votes
Muslims Unite for Portland's Heroes, whose online fundraising campaign has raised over $530,000 for families of the Portland, Oregon stabbing victims
7%
220 votes
Climeworks, the Swiss company that just opened the world's first commercial CO2 capture plant
1%
49 votes
The 7th Circuit Court of Appeals, for agreeing that a transgender student was discriminated against by a Wisconsin school and deemed its bathroom policy unconstitutional
1%
45 votes
The five Scandinavian prime ministers who posed with a soccer ball to mock Trump's Saudi Arabia photo-op with that glowing orb
3%
113 votes
Lawrence O'Donnell fans, whose grassroots campaign to keep the MSNBC host scored him a multi-year contract extension
8%
252 votes
The State Department employees and U.S. senators who, it was revealed this week, blocked Trump's scheme to lift Russia sanctions and return diplomatic residences as soon as he was inaugurated
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