I’ve put everything into this: I have forfeited time with family and friends, sleep and any semblance of normal life. Now the constant flow of work in my “spare time”– emails, sending press releases, knocking on doors – has stopped, leaving a void.

I’ve been doing two jobs at once and I’m exhausted. People expect you to be in the community, campaigning, but I have to earn a living. Unless you’re wealthy, there is no way you can give up a job to stand as a candidate – what would you live on? Despite this, I’ve gone into two campaigns with such hope. And that hope, and the “calling”, and the feeling that I could help improve lives and our community, kept me going right up until the final moment.

Then, as the exceptionally close result was declared, a sick feeling, swiftly followed by anger and, when I am alone, tears. What really hurts is that my opponent did almost nothing. She didn’t work with the community groups, get the funding, make the calls, work with the parents and get stuck in. Yet she still won.

Politicians have a terrible reputation: people think they are all on the take and dishonest. But many of the candidates and politicians I have met genuinely want to make a difference, myself included.

Following the result, people mean well and are kind and supportive, but it doesn’t help. Thinking about the sacrifices you have made, the money you have spent, the graft you have put in, the pain you are feeling – it’s probably time to admit defeat. There must be more fulfilling ways to change the world.

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