Wichita, Kansas

Zombieland (2013)

Actors: Lucas Moore (miscellaneous crew), Tim Bagley (actor), Gavin Polone (producer), Barbara Babb (miscellaneous crew), Kirk Ward (actor), Mitch Harbeson (miscellaneous crew), Rhett Reese (producer), Rhett Reese (writer), Karen Marie Mason (miscellaneous crew), Joshua Parker (miscellaneous crew), Maiara Walsh (actress), Paul Wernick (writer), Paul Wernick (producer), Casey Hendershot (actor), Peggy Stamper (costume designer),

Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Horror,
Taglines: A new dead is dawning.

Quotes:

Tallahassee: Oh, I am this close to losing every last bit of my shit.

Tallahassee: We are cursed! We... are... cursed! We're cursed! It's like we picked up Bobby Brady's ass-reaming Tiki and it's just tipping us over, and just ramming us in the...::[to Little Rock]::Tallahassee: Please don't ask me who Bobby Brady is, or I'll lose my shit more than I lost it a second ago, okay?

Tallahassee: There's nothing more romantic then an old couple dying within minutes of one another.::Columbus: Yeah, that's because you smashed their heads in with a fireplace poker.::Little Rock: This is really, really fucked up.::Tallahassee: Hey-ho! Language. But you're right. It is.

Most of My Memoirs Are Plagiarized (2010)

Actors: John Acquadro (composer), John Acquadro (writer), John Acquadro (editor), John Acquadro (director), John Acquadro (producer), Maria Calderon (actress), Dan Keezer (actor), Dan Keezer (producer), Emily Monen (editor), Emily Monen (actress), Wilson Vance (actress), Emily Monen (producer), Teal Gardner (actress), Chris Wilson (actor), Dominic Burkart (actor),

Plot: David Ashley Planner, a young sociopathic father with two abandoned teenaged kids and a posse of devoted, pathetic women who all wear the same shirt, is about to win the girl of his dreams. Immaculada Boxer, a dream girl of many, has been participating for decades in Ashley's elaborate games to trap her heart, and it seems that after a lifetime of watching her from afar, he is about to hold her close. The problem is is that, in his yellow raincoat and giant gloves, he does not camouflage particularly well, and at some point, Immaculada became aware of his presence. And so, it is not only a story of lovers who breathe and sweat, but a microcosm of the struggle between those who are happy just respirating and those who are only satisfied if they are perspiring. And what of the fates of Ashley's children, Health and Angel Eyes? Or the discharged soldier Dr. Lt. de Rigueur? Or the underground foster agency known as Youth Corp, which is in the process of destroying families for the purposes of a summer art exhibition? Or the kindly Eleanor, who loves Ashley more than she knows anything else? Or the lesbians that live for Immaculada? Or the unnamed man who plays a crooked card game for control of the world's dictionaries? Or the wise old man who replaced the farm in his kitchen with a refrigerator? Or the world itself?!

Keywords: adventurer, avant-garde, baptism, conundrum, deception, henchwoman, independent-film, lawn-sprinkler, low-budget-film, mansion
Genres: Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy, Romance,
Taglines: Not your usual doomed love story.

Quotes:

David 'Ashley' Planner: How flexible is the kitchen?

Immaculada Boxer: Oh man. Hot winter.::Gresheon: Those leaves aren't even bothering to fall this year.::Immaculada Boxer: I needed this.::Gresheon: You play hard. You deserve it.::Immaculada Boxer: Yeah, but I hate taking a break. Even though I've been goin' my whole life.

David 'Ashley' Planner: You know, I knew I shouldn't have had you guys when I was your age. I just grew out of it.

David 'Ashley' Planner: I apparently went too far, but nobody wants to consider the fact that maybe they came too close.::Eleanor: I'll post your bail.::David 'Ashley' Planner: It's the least you could do, you being one of them.::Eleanor: It'll be us someday. You go and meet Immaculada. And some day, it'll be us. Us'll be you and me.

David 'Ashley' Planner: Hey, um, do you know that doing gymnastic exercise is a way better way to generate creative thoughts than just exercise?::Immaculada Boxer: I...::David 'Ashley' Planner: I'm trying out cartwheeling because I have this big idea. It's too big to exist, but I don't think dreaming gets enough credit. People look down on you if you're not physically ambitious. So, I wanted to do this universe book thing, where instead of there being, like, footnotes that relate back to the real world, there would be... footnotes that would create an entire reality defined by the cultural references of a single novel. There would be actual films, game shows, people living in towns, a whole alternate history of popular music, that this book would define and basically create, in a way, by being written, and then I would go about making all those films, getting audiences and contestants together for those game shows, having surrogate mothers and town fathers giving birth to children and cities and raise and build them as fictionally-defined people and places who and that exist according to the life of my book. I'd get a ton of bands together, and there would be a whole new canon... I don't think I'd make rock as popular, I mean... the rhythms that people rely on that are based off of it are just... the opposite of what music is really supposed to inspire, which is a passion for... life. And there would be an alternate set of book publishers to publish any books that this book would create by referencing. We'd open a Museum of Contemporary Art that was filled with... real art.::Immaculada Boxer: What would you call it?::David 'Ashley' Planner: I'm just frustrated because there are so many options, and there's only one choice to be made in a particular situation, and I think that... a fascist art project that costs billions of dollars and requires the violation of personal rights to bring it into fruition... would relieve the desperation that comes from the limitlessness of everyone's imagination, and the finality not just of life itself but of every single moment that passes in life. Because I need something in my life to fill my life, and I need it to be the biggest thing I can think of, and the biggest thing is my thoughts. The project itself couldn't be titled. It's just a universal, impossible dream being un-realized and realized in a particular way.::Immaculada Boxer: Tell me more about my dreams.::David 'Ashley' Planner: I need something first. Something with carrots.

Wilbur: You'll get your kids back when the gallery show is over.

Immaculada Boxer: Wow, this is pretty... amazing.::David 'Ashley' Planner: Yeah, it's really good for tension, and it's also cooling to the skin.::Immaculada Boxer: Is it going to dry up?::David 'Ashley' Planner: You have to keep it wet... almost constantly.

Wichita: Good to see you're free.::Immaculada Boxer: Submission is the greatest expression of agency as long as you're a fucking genius in the moment.::Wichita: What are you gonna do with this memento?::Immaculada Boxer: I need to baptize something!

Wilbur: So where do you see yourselves?::Health: Splitting up. I'd like to go with a family of realists.::Wilbur: Open-minded realists or close-minded?::Health: Open-minded.::Yates: And what about you, Emily?::Emily: I'll find my own way, which is the Lord's way. So, I guess the closeminded realists.::Yates: There are actually a lot of other options...::Emily: Close-minded realists.

Wichita: Now, Immaculada, as you travel, you should know that there will be several treasure options. Many of the treasures you find will be intangible, yet invaluable, and otherwise unobtainable, treasures that you will be able to choose over more materialistically rewarding prizes. It's almost like you're following the clues to get to the next treasure on the ground and also in your own heart. Are you ready to go?::Immaculada Boxer: I'm so ready!::Wichita: Okay, here's the first trick. The first clue-trick.

Zombieland (2009)

Actors: Michael Klastorin (miscellaneous crew), Branislav R. Tatalovic (miscellaneous crew), Larry Gilbert (miscellaneous crew), D.R. Farquharson (miscellaneous crew), Woody Harrelson (actor), Gail Hunter (miscellaneous crew), Ryan Kavanaugh (producer), Steve Warren (actor), Jesse Eisenberg (actor), Robert Hatch (actor), Chris Burns (actor), Bill Murray (actor), John Charles (miscellaneous crew), Greg Tresan (miscellaneous crew), Abigail Breslin (actress),

Plot: Searching for family. In the early twenty-first century, zombies have taken over America. A shy and inexperienced college student in Texas has survived by following his 30 rules: such as "look in the back seat," "double-tap," "avoid public restrooms." He decides to travel to Ohio to see if his parents are alive. He gets a ride with a boisterous zombie-hating good-old boy headed for Florida, and soon they confront a young woman whose sister has been bitten by a zombie and wants to be put out of her misery. The sisters were headed to an LA amusement park they've heard is zombie free. Can the kid from Ohio get to his family? And what about rule thirty one?

Keywords: abandoned-bus, abandoned-car, accidental-killing, actor-playing-himself, amusement-park, anti-hero, banjo, bare-chested-male, baseball-bat, bathroom
Genres: Comedy, Horror,
Taglines: Our land is their land. Welcome to Zombieland. This place is so dead Nut up or shut up. Survival rule #21: Avoid strip clubs. Survival rule #28: Get a kickass partner. Survival rule#4: Don't be a hero. Survival rule #1: Cardio. A comedy that kills.

Quotes:

[from trailer]::Wichita: Let's play the quiet game.::Columbus: I've actually been meaning to ask you, have you been to Columbus, because I've been trying to...::Wichita: Have you never played the quiet game?

[from trailer]::Tallahassee: Time to nut up or shut up!

Columbus: [after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so, uh, that'll do, pig.::Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard, and you stole it from a movie.

Columbus: Fuck this clown.

Columbus: The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.

Columbus: I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.

Columbus: [to Tallahassee] You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.

Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno Balls? Where's the fucking Twinkies?::Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.::Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency.::Columbus: [eats a Sno Ball] Fresh.::Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.

Tallahassee: [Columbus kisses Wichita] Finally got to first base. Not bad for that scrawny little spit-fuck.

Happy Campers (2001)

Actors: Peter Stormare (actor), Julie Adams (miscellaneous crew), Ralph B. Meyer (miscellaneous crew), Michael Maxwell (miscellaneous crew), Dominique Swain (actress), Paul Prokop (miscellaneous crew), Denise Di Novi (producer), Rolfe Kent (composer), Justin Long (actor), Emily Glatter (miscellaneous crew), Jaime King (actress), Elizabeth Maxwell (miscellaneous crew), John M. Pisani (miscellaneous crew), Harri James (miscellaneous crew), Keram Malicki-Sánchez (actor),

Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: The excitement is In-tents!

Quotes:

Donald: Life sucks - in a good way. Falling in love, falling in hate, getting laid, getting hurt - what's one without the other? When it comes to the ritual of growing up, sometimes you smile because you're happy. Other times, you smile just because you've survived. But hey, a smile is a smile.

Oberon: Nobody tells you how to be an adult. You just keep getting older anyway.

Wendy: Don't get all Breakfast Club on me, bitch!

[after getting hit in the face with a water-filled condom]::Adam: Aah! Spermicidally lubricated.

Pixel: Most stories with a bunch of camp counselors have some serial psycho who systematically butchers everyone one by one.::Wendy: Yeah. And?::Pixel: I don't know, it's kind of funny. I mean who needs a serial psycho with a chainsaw when we have ourselves?

Wendy: Wichita and I were a dream come true, but you know, we have a lot more dreams left. I mean, really, who wants happily ever after when you're nineteen? Before you can be the love of someone's life, you have to have a life first.

Wendy: Isn't fun great?

Little boy: I got stung by a bee.::Wendy: That's terrible, I know how you feel.::Little boy: No you don't.::Wendy: He's right I have absolutely no idea what it feels like.

Adam: Hey, have you ever had a pussy wrapped completely around your head?::Wichitaesque Wes: Eh... no.::Adam: Then what are you... a butthole baby?... haha butthole baby.

Wichita: You know, this reminds me of the time when, uh, we were just talking about something and all of a sudden started to kiss.

Machismo: 40 Graves for 40 Guns (1971)

Actors: Paul Hunt (editor), Stanley Adams (actor), Lilyan Chauvin (actress), Paul Hunt (writer), Paul Hunt (director), Harry H. Novak (producer), Gary Graver (actor), Gary Kent (actor), Noble 'Kid' Chissel (actor), Royal Dano (actor), Vincent Barbi (actor), Harry H. Novak (actor), Joe Tornatore (actor), Gregory Sierra (actor), Bethel Buckalew (actor),

Genres: Crime, Western,

Die Flußpiraten vom Mississippi (1963)

Actors: Sabine Sinjen (actress), Wolf C. Hartwig (producer), Rosemarie Fendel (actress), Heinz Engelmann (actor), Herbert Weicker (actor), Heinz Engelmann (actor), Janez Vrhovec (actor), Luigi Batzella (actor), Brad Harris (actor), Wolf C. Hartwig (actor), Tony Kendall (actor), Karl Lieffen (actor), Horst Frank (actor), Werner P. Zibaso (writer), Thomas Reiner (actor),

Genres: Western,

Die Flußpiraten vom Mississippi (1963)

Actors: Sabine Sinjen (actress), Wolf C. Hartwig (producer), Rosemarie Fendel (actress), Heinz Engelmann (actor), Herbert Weicker (actor), Heinz Engelmann (actor), Janez Vrhovec (actor), Luigi Batzella (actor), Brad Harris (actor), Wolf C. Hartwig (actor), Tony Kendall (actor), Karl Lieffen (actor), Horst Frank (actor), Werner P. Zibaso (writer), Thomas Reiner (actor),

Genres: Western,

Prairie Thunder (1937)

Actors: Ralph Bucko (actor), Bob Burns (actor), Yakima Canutt (actor), George Chesebro (actor), Iron Eyes Cody (actor), Buck Connors (actor), Ben Corbett (actor), Jim Corey (actor), Frank Ellis (actor), Dick Foran (actor), George Guhl (actor), John Harron (actor), Stuart Holmes (actor), Wilfred Lucas (actor), Chief John Big Tree (actor),

Plot: To increase profits for his shipping company, Lynch has goaded the Indians to attack both the telegraph line and the new railroad. When Lynch sells rifles to the Indians, Rod Farrell captures Lynch and his gang. But Lynch's Indian friends free him and this time Farrell finds himself the prisoner.

Keywords: capture, cavalry, chase, disguise, duplicity, escape, fire, firearm, flaming-arrow, freight-line
Genres: Western,