Manhandlers (2012)

Actors: Ron Ford (actor), Zac Hanson (actor), Brad Picard (actor), Jhon Goodwin (actor), Ryan Shaffer (actor), James Pendleton (actor), Jerry Sciarrio (actor), Jerry Sciarrio (actor), Anne Selcoe (actress), Richard Erhardt (actor), Jonah Vigil (actor), Travis Picard (actor), Adam Pitzler (actor), Adam Pitzler (writer), Adam Pitzler (producer),

Plot: Two guys desperate for cash open their own muscle-for-hire business. This inadvertently opens a gateway into the heart of the city's seedy underworld. Under constant attack from hitmen, zombies, religious extremists, and serial killers - can they rescue their baby and pay the rent on time?

Genres: Action, Comedy,
Taglines: We are ready to manhandle you! We thought he was some sort of psycho killer, so we killed him in his sleep

The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human (1999)

Actors: Jack Kehler (actor), Leo Rossi (actor), Edwin Avedissian (miscellaneous crew), Carmen Electra (actress), Lucy Liu (actress), Jan McWilliams (miscellaneous crew), Sam Irvin (producer), Kristin M. Burke (costume designer), David Hyde Pierce (actor), Bill Greenfield (miscellaneous crew), Mackenzie Astin (actor), Marc Blucas (actor), Stephen R. Myers (editor), Lisa Anderson (miscellaneous crew), Larry Estes (actor),

Plot: An anthropologist from an alien planet provides voice-over commentary for a documentary look at human courtship, mating, and reproduction: "complex, perverse, tragically beautiful: the earthbound human." The commentary gets some of the details comically wrong (explaining the slap on a newborn's back: "they don't like the looks of the child so they beat it"), but gets right the overall idea. We follow Billy and Jenny from their meeting at a club, initial misunderstandings, his losing her phone number, finally connecting, walks on the beach, soulful talks, meeting each other's parents, friends' advice, and the gradual taking of the relationship to new levels.

Keywords: abortion, alien-narrator, bar, blindness, condom, dating, fake-documentary, hiv-test, independent-film, love
Genres: Comedy, Sci-Fi,

Quotes:

Narrator: Males of the pack sense the progression of the mating dance as well.::The Male's Friend: Fucked her?::The Male: Fucked her.::The Male's Friend: Cool.

Narrator: [at the movies] Human females enjoy stories about one person dying slowly. The males prefer stories of many people dying quickly.

Narrator: The female prepares carefully for her next encounter with the male. She paints her face with berries and chemically processed colors, hiding from the male her natural state, which she hopes to show him at a later time. She uses chemically-altered forms of vegetation to cover parts of her body. Then other forms of vegetation over those. She leaves much of her body uncovered, but is careful to cover the first layer of vegetation. She puts the excretions of small, sea-dwelling creatures through holes in the lobes of her hearing organs, which she had mutilated long ago as a symbol of her entry into womanhood. She pulls a bone out of her skull. She is ready.

The Male: She always had this mother smell. You know, chicken soup and... floor wax.

Narrator: They force him to consume large amounts of fermented grain in an attempt to kill him. Unwilling to mate, he is no longer of any use to their species.

Narrator: The male tries to validate his existence and prove he doesn't need a female to mate. He attempts to devolve into a hermaphrodite and give birth to offspring on his own. [male character vomits] For the male, this will prove ultimately unfulfilling. Although genetically equipped to deliver the placenta... [more vomiting] he is unable to produce the infant itself.

The Male's Friend: You're going to call her, aren't you?::The Male: No.::The Male's Friend: Tell the truth.::The Male: Okay. You're developing a serious body odor problem, but I don't think that's relevant.::The Male's Friend: Ahahaha...

Narrator: [at a club, paying a bouncer the cover charge] The male gives the Great Warrior sheaths of thin, green tree bark hoping that the color will satisfy the Great Warrior and he will allow the male to enter. The Great Warrior is pleased. He places a symbol of ink upon the male's hand, proof to the world that the male is ready to mate.

Narrator: [the male and female are laughing together after just meeting] The female exhales rapidly to show that her lungs are strong and she can bear many children. The male exhales rapidly as well to show that he has endurance and can impregnate her many times over.

Narrator: [the male performs oral sex on the female] As mating grows ever nearer, the male uses his tongue to explore the female's womb, clearing the passageway of any debris so that the infant will have an easy voyage into their world.::The Female: Oh, God! Oh God!::Narrator: It is painful for her, but for the good of their child, she makes the sacrifice.

Io e mia sorella (1987)

Actors: Tomas Arana (actor), Galeazzo Benti (actor), Leonardo Benvenuti (writer), Piero De Bernardi (writer), Carlo Verdone (writer), Luca Sabatelli (costume designer), Carlo Verdone (director), Antonio Siciliano (editor), Tom Felleghy (actor), Massimo Vanni (actor), Carlo Verdone (actor), Mariangela Giordano (actress), Ornella Muti (actress), Elena Sofia Ricci (actress), Mario Cecchi Gori (producer),

Genres: Comedy,

Butch Minds the Baby (1942)

Actors: Fuzzy Knight (actor), Wade Boteler (actor), Cliff Clark (actor), Broderick Crawford (actor), Dick Foran (actor), Eddie Foster (actor), Jack Gardner (actor), Henry Hall (actor), Porter Hall (actor), Russell Hicks (actor), Shemp Howard (actor), Eddie Kane (actor), Tom Kennedy (actor), Joe King (actor), Richard Lane (actor),

Plot: The Broadway citizen Aloysius 'Butch' Grogan is known far and wide to be involved with criminal activities. Butch is motivated to pursue a life of crime in order to provide the lovely widow Susie O'Neill with the funds to support herself and her little son. Butch is the lookout for a gang of safe crackers. One of them is forced to bring his squalling baby son along with him on the job. Butch is obliged to mind the baby while the safe is being knocked over.

Keywords: character-name-in-title
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: Hard-Boiled Yeggs with Soft-Boiled Hearts!

Alice in Wonderland (1933)

Actors: Cary Grant (actor), William Austin (actor), Colin Campbell (actor), Richard Arlen (actor), Billy Barty (actor), Billy Bevan (actor), Roscoe Ates (actor), Gary Cooper (actor), Jack Duffy (actor), Billy Barty (actor), Leon Errol (actor), W.C. Fields (actor), Alec B. Francis (actor), Richard 'Skeets' Gallagher (actor), Raymond Hatton (actor),

Plot: On a boring winter afternoon, Alice dreams, that she's visiting the land behind the mirror. This turns out to be a surrealistic nightmare, with all sorts of strange things happening to her, like changing her size or playing croquet with flamingos.

Keywords: alice-in-wonderland, alternate-dimension, baby, based-on-novel, cards, carpenter, cat, caterpillar, cel-animation, character-name-in-title
Genres: Adventure, Family, Fantasy,
Taglines: The Entertainment Miracle Of All Times!

Quotes:

March Hare: Have some more tea?::Alice: I haven't had any yet, so I can't take more.::March Hare: You mean you can't take less. It is very easy to take more than nothing.

Alice: How can you go on talking so quietly with your head in a ditch?::White Knight: What does it matter where my body happens to be? My mind goes on working all the same. In fact, I once invented a new pudding during the meat course.::Alice: In time to have it cooked for the next course, hmmm? That was quick work!::White Knight: Well, not the next course. In fact, I don't believe that pudding even was cooked.::Alice: What did you mean it to be made of?::White Knight: Well it began with blotting paper.::Alice: That wouldn't be very nice, I'm afraid.::White Knight: Not very nice alone, but imagine how good it would be mixed with other things such as gunpowder and sealing wax. [He sighs]

Alice: I've often seen a cat without a grin - but a grin without a cat!

Circus Time (1929)

Actors: Billy Barty (actor), Billy Bevan (actor), Donald Haines (actor), Amadee J. Van Beuren (producer), George Marshall (director), Betty Jane Graham (actress), Jackie Combs (actor), Walter Berndt (writer),

Genres: Comedy, Short,

Follow Teacher (1928)

Actors: Charles Lamont (director), Al Thompson (actor), Bert Young (actor), Jack White (producer), Billy Barty (actor), Georgia O'Dell (actress), Malcolm Sebastian (actor), Evelyn Mills (actress), Ginger Connelly (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Short,

Mickey's Pals (1927)

Actors: Billy Barty (actor), Larry Darmour (producer), Fontaine Fox (writer), Albert Herman (director), Mickey Rooney (actor), Delia Bogard (actress), Jimmy Robinson (actor), Kendall McComas (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Short,

No Babies Wanted (1926)

Actors: Jack Harvey (director), William V. Mong (actor), Dorothy Devore (actress), Cissy Fitzgerald (actress), Emily Fitzroy (actress), Harry Chandlee (editor), Harry Chandlee (writer), Priscilla Moran (actress), Harriet Hinsdale (writer), H.T. Crist (writer), John Richard Becker (actor),

Genres: Drama,

Friend Husband (1918)

Actors: Mary Thurman (actress), Mack Sennett (producer), James Donnelly (actor), Harry Gribbon (actor), Erle C. Kenton (actor), Charles Murray (actor), Gene Rogers (actor), Teddy the Dog (actor), Marie Prevost (actress), Eva Thatcher (actress), Laura La Varnie (actress), Wayland Trask (actor), Walter Wright (director), Marvel Rea (actress), Pepper the Cat (actress),

Genres: Comedy, Short,