François Ozon's tantalising new comedy, In the House, is all about storytelling, and that's something it does delightfully well – to begin with, anyway. Fabrice Luchini stars as a prissy middle-aged teacher of creative writing at the French equivalent of a modern comprehensive. He has resigned himself to being bored to tears by his pupils' semi-literate compositions, but one evening he reads an essay that sends his eyebrows rocketing above his owlish spectacles. Its writer is a 16-year-old (Ernst Umhauer) who has inveigled his way into a classmate's home in order to spy on and satirise his enviable life. The teacher and his wife, Kristin Scott Thomas, are appalled by the voyeurism – but not so appalled that they aren't salivating for the next chapter. Soon, Luchini is breaking school rules to ensure that the boys maintain their friendship, and advising the protégé on how to improve his subsequent undercover dispatches.

An tribunal has heard that winning the TV reality show may not be all its cracked up to be. Tom Peck speaks to past victors

Gavin Turk, one of the famous Young British Artists of ‘90s, has won the most votes in a competition to bring ten major contemporary artists to regional museums around the country for a nocturnal festival. He will create a magic carpet at Bristol Museum and Art Gallery in two months’ time.

Alice Jones' Arts Diary

They are some of his best-known work and the colour yellow was, for Vincent van Gogh, a symbol of happiness. So the idea that any of his series of vivid masterpieces – Sunflowers – is slowly turning brown would surely have been painful to the Dutch painter.

Plus: My nomination for best non-snub and the people of  Les Misérables are revolting

The Tramway in Glasgow will host the exhibition and awards in 2015

Fans flocked in droves to Tate's website this morning to purchase tickets for the hotly anticipated Kraftwerk gigs at the Tate Modern's Turbine Hall.

This addition to Manhattan's Chelsea district encapsulates the gentrification of a formerly commercial area

A sculpture of a "vandalised" priest by the underground artist Banksy has gone on display today alongside 17th-century Old Masters.

The appeal of property in Germany's premier city is outstripping London and Paris

The rather jolly Christmas light display beloved of homeowners and local authorities across the land has been given a stunning 21st-century makeover for the Holburne Museum in Bath.

At first, the large, low-lit gallery space looks rather unprepossessing: a circle of vintage microphones, all spot-lit, stand at its centre, as if waiting for a 1960s variety show to start. But where are the contestants? In the room's far corner, there's a long table that resembles an airport scanner (its surface, brilliantly lit with white light, is moving and moving). What else? Not much. A wall-hung mirror waits patiently for a human stare. When you look into it, with the usual degree of curiosity mingled with apprehension, you see the predictable sadness of yourself. But you see something else too: a word has been blazoned in light across your forehead: autopoiesis (auto-creation). How has that happened? Elsewhere, a series of tiny green computer screens, also wall-hung, are connected to each other by a tangled skein of wiring. Each screen has a bizarre question. Otherwise, nothing is happening. The room is utterly soundless. Is this all there is?

Some of the less enthused visitors to the Tate Modern might be relieved to stumble upon the haven of this pub, complete with bar and piano, as they make their way round the London art gallery.

It is ten years since the New Art Gallery in Walsall opened its doors beside the Walsall Canal. (You can see a narrow boat drawn up beside the café's window as you bite down on a panini.) Would this splashy, handsome gallery help to give a new vitality to this small Black Country town? Could there be a mini-Bilbao effect in the making? Ten years on, things are looking pretty good – there were 6,000 visitors during half-term week; kids seem to be dragging their parents back for a second look – and it's evidently time for a show on the theme of non-stop partying.

As an exhibition inspired by J G Ballard's controversial novel Crash opens in London, Charlotte Cripps talks to the artists involved about sex, death and the late writer's influence on them and their work