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This was published 7 years ago
For dysfunctional couples Nine's foray into relationship hell is a last resort
By Ben Pobjie
I was devastated to learn that Channel Nine's The Last Resort had struggled to attract big ratings on its initial outing. My perturbation stemmed not from any concern for the network's financial fortunes or share price, but from a simple love of the human race – I want nothing more than to see my fellow humans happy and fulfilled in their relationships, and The Last Resort offers an avenue for them to achieve this that, if it fails to survive to a second series, may be cut off forever.
The Last Resort is based on the evergreen premise of a network executive noticing that a word has more than one meaning. In this case, one of Nine's resident geniuses realised that while "last resort" referred to a course of action taken only in extreme desperation, a "resort" was also a term denoting a holiday destination.
So why not, the genius reasoned, take some couples whose relationships are almost at breaking point, and as a "last resort" to save their love, send them to an actual "resort", where various things will happen which, with a bit of luck, might form something approaching a television program.
You can see how elegant it was.
Make-or-break time: Nine's new reality show, The Last Resort.Credit: Nine Network
And so five couples headed to Fiji to rescue their relationships via professional counselling and amateur yelling.
But it's terrifying to think that if Last Resort's ratings do not surge, those five will be the last.
There are thousands of dysfunctional couples who may be incapable of resolving their deep-seated issues without the assistance that only a resort-themed reality TV show can provide.
Think of the broken homes, the emotional wreckage, the lonely nights. It'll be the cancellation of Man O Man all over again. I call on all folk of good will to do their duty – tune in to The Last Resort, and make love bloom once more.
Ben Pobjie is comedian and satirist.